What not to do if you have an issue with moderating actions

[King_Oni]

After a few run-ins from people on this forum with staff, I suppose I'll post something on here, and hope people will understand it.

Here on Aspiescentral we strive to make it a fun and safe environment for everyone on the spectrum (and people somehow associated with anyone on the autism spectrum) and hope to do so by offering a place for people to express their opinions and interact with eachother as a forum.

This seems to be a thing that works for most people, emphasis; most.

To make it all work, we have a bunch of rules that go on this forum, which have been around since the inception of this forum (and some have been slightly amended) and which seem fairly liberal (and try to make it reasonable for everyone).

However; once in a while someone shows up and has the urge to debate on end with staff that a post has been taken down and why whatever he/she posted should be ok and starts causing a scene out in public about it. Either by starting a new thread complaining, by posting a complaint in a status update or being disruptive in any other way.

I think we can all... and if not all, at least most, can agree that's even more disruptive than the initial post (and considering something is being taken down, that should already be the first clue something is a no-go).

So, if you have a serious issue with something being taken down, take a deep breath, reflect on it and, if you're still upset, write a concise private message without trying to go into lengthy debate with staff about it. And if you don't want to deal with the moderator who deleted/edited your content, take it up with an admin; me (or Brent, but in all honesty; I'm around more often)

We shouldn't have to police the forum, nor should we have to deal with all kinds of nasty and aggresive remarks, just because you posted something, people found inappropriate (and I think the general consensus here is that we're a quite open-minded bunch) but you just have the urge to shove it in peoples faces anyway. It's pretty much what makes this forum a less pleasant place for both staff and visitors. Besides; the arguing on end with staff out in public contributes in either staff leaving and/or no new people being interested, because... let's face it; who wants to voluntarily deal with toxic people on a daily basis?

The forum doesn't need this and eventually it might end in this forum being taken down as a sinking ship of sorts because people don't like this place anymore. Obviously; if you're among those more toxic folks, you couldn't care... so I just want to point out that we shouldn't have to deal with it; the community doesn't need it, nor does staff.

It doesn't mean we're going to be moderating more heavily or anything, but I figured I'd just bring this up oncemore. I'm locking this thread, since we don't need to debate this post here. But reading it should be good enough for anyone passing by on it.

In short

Don't be a dick and at least accept the fact that we have some rules and staff is around to keep this place a fun and safe place for people on the spectrum.

Edit: I've gotten private responses to this thread where people asked if it was ok if they shared their story. Still, the topic is closed, and will remain so... and basically, any content any member wants to add here, goes through me. It would be nice to hear some positive stories on either how staff solved stuff or how you handled a situation yourself. If I end up opening this thread now for people to post, it takes away from the content and becomes a discussion, rather than information for people to digest.

 

[King_Oni]

The Penguin took some time to share some stuff regarding this topic here and asked me if it had a place in this thread. I think it's a good piece of perspective and advice for anyone on this, or any other forum, which is why I'm posting his contribution.

I’d like to share two situations which happened to me on here and how I handle them. Before I do this, it's important to understand the Terms of Service and General Rules & Guidelines. (mod note; ToS and Rules)

For the first example, I had a concern about a comment a staff member wrote in my posts. I decided to PM the person and address my concerns. After the discussion, it made sense to the staff member why the comment affected me, when they learned about my past. I think after this discussion; the staff member was more understanding as I never saw any future comments that offended me deeply.

The second example was a post of mine that got locked. Despite other members standing up for me and for my post being locked, I prefer members not to do this. I did PM multiple staff members about the post being locked. Unfortunately, they were not able to unlock my post for me. The conversation didn’t go well but, never once did I mouth off to any of the staff members. This is very important. I feel mouthing off will just make the situation worse. After this point, I took a break from this site. The main reason was not because of my post being locked. It was because other things, and there were a lot of bad things going on with my life during thatperiod. I felt if I didn’t take that break, I might have done some things I might have regretted that could have got me banned.

Anyhow, if you are deeply affected on what happen to your post and not at a stable state, take a little break. Once you are relaxed, think clearly how you want to communicate to staff. Bear in mind, you should not do this in a nasty matter. For most part, I consider the AC staff is fair with most of their decisions they make. If staff can’t address your concerns, it’s no the end of the world. However, if your post is getting locked several times, this means you don’t understand the rules of the site. In this case, review them again and respect them.