What is my Gender?

[OkRad]

Since all this hit, I am all mixed up.

I don't feel male but I LOATHE anything female. I was looking at the med braceletts and felt ill looking at the frilly ones. I went to the Mens section and YAY! I saw ones I liked. I buy t-shirts only in hte male section because female section does cutesy things with tshirts I hate.

I guess I am seeking to look androgynous just automatically.

Has this happened to anyone?? I had clothes that were female of course. Jeans and stuff. DUMPED!

I feel best when I am no gender.

Yet, when I do vids on my special interest (not autism ) then I DO look like my gender (F). I even comb my hair!

So I am all mixed up. I never FEEL female, but I do present as F in some occasions. I never feel male, either.

I FEEL like a prepubescent child of no gender. I think I am going crazy,

Has anyone just had their gender drop right off??

 

[Kirsty]

You are gender neutral.

 

[Warmheart]

I'm not aware of my gender. Or my age. Or my ethnicity.
Part of my autism is that I just feel like..... a person!
Really, like a three year old, I just roll out of bed and am off on my adventures. I never consider gender, age, etc. I am just me, a person.

However..... when I am in the presence of an attractive man, then I am (briefly) very aware of being female!

Some of us just are only aware of being people, and that is how we experience the world.

 

[jbalka]

I've always identified (and still do identify) as solidly female, but I also prefer comfy clothes and less frilly things clothing-wise. I own some men's stuff (I agree with Mia-- they're better made and more comfy!), and I like casual women's stuff. I don't work right now so I'm just wearing gender-neutral graphic tees all the time. I do like make-up and hair though... so there's my girly thing. I personally don't think preferring "men's" stuff necessarily has to do with gender.

But, you should look into genderfluid, agender, and non-binary identities if you really want to explore-- there's tons of info online! I don't identify as any of them, but I've seen plenty of people online who feel more comfortable with those identities.

 

[ChrisN]

<----says be yourself. Identity is nothing.

 

[WittyAspie]

There is a difference between not feeling like a female and not preferring what culture defines as feminine. Cultural appropriateness for men and women has changed throughout history. Wear whatever makes you comfortable.

 

[Kari Suttle]

It sounds like you don't approve of today's society's gender stereotypes. Its okay, apparently at one point it was expected for men to be quite feminine by today's standards.It changes over time from society to society. Honestly, though, you're just you. That's it. Society is all kinds of messed up. I'm a 90's kid so I don't really get the whole non-binary gender thing, so like I said just do you. If its really bothering you, well, there's a ton of new-age gender stuff on google. I have yet to delve into it cause its way too complicated. I'm having enough trouble deciding my sexuality.

I certainly identify as a girl but I've never been feminine. I don't wear makeup, I don't do my hair beyond brushing it and putting up for the day, and I hate dresses and skirts. I only wear skinny jeans and well fitting shirts (at times, I also possess many plain shirts) because my senses like them, if that makes sense. But at the same time I don't like anything that could be remotely identified as being boy-ish beyond playing video games.

 

[Suzanne]

I hate to say this, OkRad, but since you were born a female, that is your gender and well, opps and ouch, our Creator does actually hate people changing their gender, so really, if one says they want to be a christian, then they look to God, to help them through such diffculites.

I am a female and have had no issues with my gender; HOWEVER, I cannot stand anything frilly nor deliberate advertising to state: this is female and this is male. So I will wear blue and hate pink lol

I dress as a woman. Only wear dresses and skirts; can't stand trousers and hubby laughs at my "casual" clothes and says: are you going out somewhere special?

But, my apsie friend, guess what? You can wear trousers and men tops anyway, because that is not changing gender.

I know it is hard, because I listen to many people who feel they have been born in the wrong body, so to speak and the sheer torture they go through, but in truth, EVERYONE goes through torture, when they want to do the right thing, but their hearts want to do the wrong thing.

Oh and if I was giving anything frilly and fancy, I would react like you: YUCK. Just because we are females, does not mean we HAVE to wear stupid flouncy things. I prefer simple clothes anyway.

You have had a terrible accident at some point and I believe, if I am right, it caused your autism to become more prominent? Well, is it not at all possible, that the neurons in your brain also got confused? Basically it is our neuronsn, when goes wrong, that cause us to get confused in many ways.

I mean: people suffered crushing head pain and wake up not speaking their own language!

Our amazing Creator, made us like this; we are wonderfully made, as the Psalmist says.

Ps: if you go back and look at clothing through history, the further back we go, we discover that MEN wore high heels and only stopped when women started wanting to wear them! Men used to wear dress type clothing too.

 

[Kari Suttle]

I hate to say this, OkRad, but since you were born a female, that is your gender and well, opps and ouch, our Creator does actually hate people changing their gender, so really, if one says they want to be a christian, then they look to God, to help them through such diffculites.

Our amazing Creator, made us like this; we are wonderfully made, as the Psalmist says.

Is OkRad a Christian? Cause if not, well to me that came off a tad judgmental to me.

 

[Suzanne]

Is OkRad a Christian? Cause if not, well to me that came off a tad judgmental to me.

That is what she said to me! Sorry if I come across as judgemental; not my intention at all!

 

[Kari Suttle]

That is what she said to me! Sorry if I come across as judgemental; not my intention at all!

Oh okay. Totally fine then! You're fine. I'm not on here enough to have everyone's names straight with backgrounds, so I wasn't sure of your intentions with that. Honestly I probably read a little of my bigoted mother into that too.

 

[Suzanne]

Oh okay. Totally fine then! You're fine. I'm not on here enough to have everyone's names straight with backgrounds, so I wasn't sure of your intentions with that. Honestly I probably read a little of my bigoted mother into that too.

I think that someone who professes to be a christian, but goes around shouting abuse at homosexuals and so forth, are not showing themselves to be christian at all!

I know that I could have refrained from answering, but I thought: why should I refrain? I am not doing anything wrong in stating to someone who says they want to get closer to our Creator, how He thinks. But it is down to OkRad to choose.

I cannot and will not, agree with something, just because if I disagree I am seen as "homophobic"; I do disagree with gender changes etc and see the UTTER confusion going on: changing wrong into right and right into wrong.

So, there is nothing wrong ie it is my right to state how things are; but also I do concede that I cannot push and demand someone do something they do not wish to do.

Yes, in the eyes of the world, I am a bigot, but I guess I shall have to live with that lol because I do love and believe in my God and so, I try to obide by His rules and because I believe in Creation, this means that I believe that He has the right to say what is wrong and right.

Oh and my deceased brother in law was a gay man and all we asked of him was to not flaunt his preverences in front of us and we always phoned before going to his place, but I can tell you; he was disrespectful to us!

I hear so much of supposed "christians" screaming hell and damination to those who are gay etc and well, in truth, there is no hellfire anyway! Hell is just the grave of mankind ie death and nothing more!

 

[OkRad]

I hate to say this, OkRad, but since you were born a female, that is your gender and well, opps and ouch, our Creator does actually hate people changing their gender, so really, if one says they want to be a christian, then they look to God, to help them through such diffculites.

I am a female and have had no issues with my gender; HOWEVER, I cannot stand anything frilly nor deliberate advertising to state: this is female and this is male. So I will wear blue and hate pink lol

I dress as a woman. Only wear dresses and skirts; can't stand trousers and hubby laughs at my "casual" clothes and says: are you going out somewhere special?

But, my apsie friend, guess what? You can wear trousers and men tops anyway, because that is not changing gender.

I know it is hard, because I listen to many people who feel they have been born in the wrong body, so to speak and the sheer torture they go through, but in truth, EVERYONE goes through torture, when they want to do the right thing, but their hearts want to do the wrong thing.

Oh and if I was giving anything frilly and fancy, I would react like you: YUCK. Just because we are females, does not mean we HAVE to wear stupid flouncy things. I prefer simple clothes anyway.

You have had a terrible accident at some point and I believe, if I am right, it caused your autism to become more prominent? Well, is it not at all possible, that the neurons in your brain also got confused? Basically it is our neuronsn, when goes wrong, that cause us to get confused in many ways.

I mean: people suffered crushing head pain and wake up not speaking their own language!

Our amazing Creator, made us like this; we are wonderfully made, as the Psalmist says.

Ps: if you go back and look at clothing through history, the further back we go, we discover that MEN wore high heels and only stopped when women started wanting to wear them! Men used to wear dress type clothing too.

Yes, I think you are correct. I am female, no doubt. I am assured of that each month :-O

And as the other posters also said, too, it is probably not so much gender confusion as PRESENTING as non-gender because of things like neurons and sensory issues. You Aspie Central friends are the best, I tell you!!

I think sometimes I get so hung up on what people are thinking about me that I cannot even see what is going on.

You are correct, I am way odder now and I am sensitive to it. One day I am smiling at people and next closed right off and I am sensitive to how other people feel.

I might try to look a little more female just to celebrate being female. Maybe some frilly shorts over the leggings instead of just hang-down shorts! :-D I do have a few pairs of frilling, lacy shorts I got on sale last year. Hehehe.

Or maybe just be safe in my non-gender appearance and celebrate the fact that women and men no longer have to squeeze into any hideous clothes. We can all wear really what we want!

 

[Suzanne]

Yes, I think you are correct. I am female, no doubt. I am assured of that each month :-O

And as the other posters also said, too, it is probably not so much gender confusion as PRESENTING as non-gender because of things like neurons and sensory issues. You Aspie Central friends are the best, I tell you!!

I think sometimes I get so hung up on what people are thinking about me that I cannot even see what is going on.

You are correct, I am way odder now and I am sensitive to it. One day I am smiling at people and next closed right off and I am sensitive to how other people feel.

I might try to look a little more female just to celebrate being female. Maybe some frilly shorts over the leggings instead of just hang-down shorts! :-D I do have a few pairs of frilling, lacy shorts I got on sale last year. Hehehe.

Or maybe just be safe in my non-gender appearance and celebrate the fact that women and men no longer have to squeeze into any hideous clothes. We can all wear really what we want!

Wow, you are amazing! I am relieved to be honest and so happy that you did not take offense with what I said, for I know well that it would be easy in this climate we live in, to get defensive.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I think they call that 'agender', won't they?

 

[Meistersinger]

I think that someone who professes to be a christian, but goes around shouting abuse at homosexuals and so forth, are not showing themselves to be christian at all!

I know that I could have refrained from answering, but I thought: why should I refrain? I am not doing anything wrong in stating to someone who says they want to get closer to our Creator, how He thinks. But it is down to OkRad to choose.

I cannot and will not, agree with something, just because if I disagree I am seen as "homophobic"; I do disagree with gender changes etc and see the UTTER confusion going on: changing wrong into right and right into wrong.

So, there is nothing wrong ie it is my right to state how things are; but also I do concede that I cannot push and demand someone do something they do not wish to do.

Yes, in the eyes of the world, I am a bigot, but I guess I shall have to live with that lol because I do love and believe in my God and so, I try to obide by His rules and because I believe in Creation, this means that I believe that He has the right to say what is wrong and right.

Oh and my deceased brother in law was a gay man and all we asked of him was to not flaunt his preverences in front of us and we always phoned before going to his place, but I can tell you; he was disrespectful to us!

I hear so much of supposed "christians" screaming hell and damination to those who are gay etc and well, in truth, there is no hellfire anyway! Hell is just the grave of mankind ie death and nothing more!

And that is the biggest issue I've had with the fundamentalist churches most of my life. They preach love, yet they spread nothing but bile. Notice I said fundamentalist and not evangelical. The two terms aren't mutually exclusive. Evangelical, which comes from the Greek, means "Good News". Fundamentalism means every word in scripture is from God (which is true), but it must be taken literally. As a kid, I listened to all the haraungues by the preacher about not following scriptures to the letter. Excuse Me, but haven't we all sinned, and fallen short of the glory of the Almighty? There was this silent competition of bringing people to Christ by any means possible. If you didn't even bring one person directly to salvation, you were destined to hell. Excuse me, but just because I don't hysterics to convert a person doesn't mean I'm destined to hellfire. As a matter of fact, just calmly discussing Christendom have convinced people eventually to convert. Many are the times I met with strangers at a company or department get-together, and got the comment, you don't act or talk like a true Christian, where one expects perfection. I've learned long ago that NOBODY's perfect. Being perfect all the time eventually leads to mental issues. There is only one person who was ever perfect, and that is Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and he, along with the Father and the Holy Spirit for the perfect and holy Trinity.

 

[granolaturtle]

I'm a Christian and I think christians can come in all genders and sexual orientations. Your christianity is still valid even if you identify as something like agender.

 

[The Outsider]

I know this isn't quite the same thing as you're going through, but I have gender issues too, a lot in fact. I'm transgender, going from male to female. I was born male and I'm still physically male, but I have been taking meds to become physically female. It's a long and very painful process that leads to the biggest struggles of my life. I would love to have the body to wear dresses and over clothes deemed female by society. To make it clear, this goes way beyond wearing outfits which I can technically already do. That isn't to say I'm trying to obey gender norms since a sex change already breaks that apart. Even as a woman I don't see myself behaving much differently than I do now, which is spending a lot of time playing video games.

Do you feel comfortable with your female body? Not wanting to dress in female clothes isn't being any less of a woman since that isn't what biologically determines one. These things ain't so black and white and in general people probably have a mixture of male and female behaviors. However, it's way more taboo for men for some reason to not be strictly male.

 

[Suzanne]

haven't we all sinned, and fallen short of the glory of the Almighty?

Very true. Romans 5:12 is the prove of this. I was raised as a catholic and heard the priest talking as though they are perfect and we are not or catholics who did certain actions were more perfect etc etc

holy Trinity.

Believe it or not, but the trinity is a made up doctrine. Jesus is not God and he often said this himself and the holy spirit is a force, not a person!

 

[Paiva]

Could it be that you have a very narrow idea of what it means to be female? (just asking, I don't mean to offend you). If you feel like being female means that you have to be a "girly girl", and that's not who you want to be, maybe that leads to loathing all things female.

It could also be, like already suggested, that you are gender neutral. I've read a bit about gender identification, and there are a lot of people who choose to identify differently than just "male" or "female".

I'd suggest that you read more about it, and whatever you conclusion is, embrace who you are without feeling there is something wrong with you.