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What is Confidence?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by SimonSays, Feb 25, 2021.

  1. SimonSays

    SimonSays A work in progress

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    The ability to do what I want without doubting myself. The expectation of getting my own way or having my ideas put into practice, believing that I have the highest truth at that moment and feel it is the right thing to do.

    Confidence doesn’t get its own way all the time of course. When it needs to compromise, it’s able to, and that doesn’t make it feel like it loses confidence.

    So why do we sometimes lose confidence? Why do we doubt what it is we want or whether we can or should have it?

    Because we make our own reality, when we become conscious of doing so, we attract all kinds of energies and ideas wanting to express themselves. It can become quite a battle as to whether we get influenced by these ideas or not, to the point where we become susceptible to doubting, and losing confidence,

    If I’m not being how you think I should be, will you feel differently towards me?

    Sometimes I feel like I’m literally someone else. I think differently, behave differently, feel differently, about things that I’d previously been sure about. It can seem incongruous, yet makes perfect sense at the time. The question is, which one is me?

    Both appear valid. One seems to make things easier, while the other seems to make things feel more real. I like reality, but it can feel colder, harder to deal with. I definitely like easier, but there can often be something missing.

    Dealing with people isn’t easy when you can feel differently from one moment to the next. I can only imagine how it’s experienced. It’s like sometimes I just don’t want to do it that way, say it that way, behave in that way, just because previously I already did. Yet, when this happens, because it can seem so unexpected to those around me, it changes things. Rather than this difference being seen as simply revealing how I’m feeling in the moment, I’m now seen as somebody else. Almost like I’ve been re-categorised or re-labelled. As a result, I feel I’m no longer accepted as I am, and any attempt to be how I’ve been is now seen as just trying to be something I’m not.

    Why should I be any less real because I feel differently at different times? I’m just being honest. But I find people expect me to be who they think I am, and if I suddenly appear to be somebody else, they might no longer be able to accept me at all. In their eyes I can only be who they think they already know. Anything else seems wrong, almost fraudulent, creating doubt and uncertainty, which isn’t the best way of being around people.

    I want people to be themselves. Neither judging or criticising. But sometimes the desire to change things appears. It then becomes easier to let go of their wants or feelings and just say or do what I feel is right instead. Not that I care any less, only that I care less if it bothers them or not. I remove my higher self from the equation – effectively my censor, and begin to be more direct, straight, real. When I do this it makes me feel more confident, and there’s a danger I can go too far. I like the way confidence feels, and it’s for this reason that to experience it properly, I have to transform my ego so it can’t get in the way.

    What I feel is what I feel. If I’m confident there is nothing there to doubt. I can do the right thing without worrying what other people might think about it.

    To achieve this I must be in the present. Talk less, stand back more, be more in my own space. I can’t be so concerned about everything that’s going on, just in case it might be something I need to know. I need to let go, surrender, allow more. It’s alright if things don’t end up the way they could’ve. It doesn’t matter if I would’ve done it differently had I known. Life isn’t perfect, even if I think I could be. I just need to focus on the positivity. Not be afraid of the fear. I need to do what I want, in the way that I do it, and trust that the rest will take care of itself. This releases me from feeling the depression I can sometimes get, and allows me to be confident and productive.
     
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  2. AprilR

    AprilR Well-Known Member

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    To me, confidence is being able to say "i did my best" I leave the rest to God, or whatever power that may be. Because i accept that i am not powerful, i can only do what is in my power to do. Being confident to me is being tolerant and kind to yourself. That way you have a clear conscience and you can face yourself
     
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  3. SimonSays

    SimonSays A work in progress

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    I like the feeling of knowing I can leave the rest to God, of knowing I should, and I need to. As you say, I can only do what is in my power to do.
    Nice :)
     
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  4. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    This is nicely put.
    This has a poetic quality about it.

    Believing The things that people on the lower vibration said to us to put us down, if we allow this we lose confidence.
    If we don’t grow up with confidence job losses and then unemployment can and sometimes take away our confidence. I guess there are many reasons.
    I never believed the new-age books I have read in my 30s when they said you create your own reality books written by Louise Hay et cetera. However there is a Grain of truth in these books as they were created for people who were sick of mainstream narratives, they were created to throw these two stickers of the two spiritual path. Now that I have read where the law of attraction originates from I do believe we create our own reality.
    The more conscious we are the better. As you probably know from your travels in India The highest casts are the most spiritually conscious, colonialism brainwash people into thinking the higher costs were the highest class.
    People should not expect you to be a certain way. If they feel different because you are not being as they expect then that is their problem.
    I have just thought that circumstances can lower the confidence of people for instance the restrictions regarding coronavirus have restricted peoples lives and not let them be and do what they want to be and what they want to do. Perhaps this may be the thing that is making you feel like you are not you. I hope that makes sense.
    The you that came into the world with your natural talents and your natural desires to do the things that were right for you is the real you. I hope I have interpreted what you are saying Correctly because inference is not my strong point.
    To me if both appear valid and you are comfortable with that, is that okay? There is a reality bites. Maybe this is where the challenges are such as the smoker living within your house. These things can make us richer, If the ground work is prepared regarding our consciousness which has does seem to be.
    Yes if you feel different from one moment to the next I guess dealing with people can be daunting. So long as you are getting sleep exercise and your mental state is stable maybe this is another challenge for you to overcome. I should be yourself I wish I had been myself And not growing up trying to be something I wasn’t mine what I was was perfectly fine. Sorry for the capitals I’m finding the keyboard on my iPad quite unruly.
    I really hope I am understanding your post and it isn’t flying over my ignorant head. The only thing I can suggest is despite the fact that you feel different from moment to moment just go with the flow at the time. Nothing wrong with just being honest. If people cannot accept you in the moment is that the problem? You know your own truth and if people feel you are being fraudulent that is their problem. Your intuition will tell you if you are being fraudulent to yourself. That does not mean I am saying you are fraudulent.
    I feel more like I can be myself online especially here.
    I do Get low but helping people on here who feel low helps me, yes sometimes I ask if that is been fraudulent.
    Engage with people who are on the same vibration as you.
    You sound a caring person which is good but people on the lower vibration might not be as caring and you have to conserve your energy for yourself primarily then you will be in a better position to care for others. This post seems like you have a good grasp of your ego.
    I think it is good to put what you think above for other people think that does not mean to be selfish it just means self-confidence is vital and letting others shake that can be unhealthy.
    Being in the present is very difficult. Our own space is very important. I am not sure if I am interpreting this right but letting things around us distract us when we need to do our thing is not good as we may miss insights from within.
    Knowing it is okay to accept when things don’t go your way sounds mature.
    Being positive is important and not being afraid of fear. I wish I could do this.
    I am glad you have found a way to relieve the depression that you sometimes get your post sounds like you are very self aware and I am sorry if I have misunderstood some of it.
     
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  5. Wolfsage

    Wolfsage In training to be Wolf King.

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    Well said.
     
  6. Wolfsage

    Wolfsage In training to be Wolf King.

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    I prefer cofidence in your abilities. But, autism makes that kinda hard. I also experience and enjoy short term. The "I can do anything and overcome it confidence". Not really effective long term. Quiet confidence is best. You know yourself, you know what you can do, you know your limits, you accept the possibility of consequences in so far as you can understand them.
     
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