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What do you want from therapy sessions?

Gracey

Well-Known Member
I'm having a bit of a gloomy-do about an up coming therapy appointment.

I think part of me has already decided this course of therapy will be much like the previous sessions.
(some faulty artificial clairvoyance going on)

It got me to wondering what it was I wanted from these sessions ?

I think it stands to reason that my previous disappointments come from my mindset going into therapy.

My expectations aren't met and so follows disappointment, distrust and disillusion in what's on offer.

Not helpful is it? :)

Is it just me?
Do others know what they want from therapy sessions?

Do you go into it with an open mind?
Or a clear idea of what you want?
 
The last therapist I saw was for perhaps two years. I went with the idea that I must discover what exactly I could do to change my husband into a more idealized manifestation of what I thought he should be.

The therapist analyzed me.

She maintained that people who went for therapy should go for themselves, not for others.
And she was correct. I benefited in many ways.

It was not easy, in fact it was difficult at times. Opening up to a virtual stranger made me quite wary, even nervous. And I was frightened of her as a result.

As I thought she would judge me and find me wanting somehow. Which she did. I was terrified of judgement as I'd been judged my entire life. She did not so much judge me as analyze me.

She made some suggestions, some of which I listened to and others that I ignored. Much of the real research and work I did on my own afterward. Did come to the conclusion that I could not change other people, and became more accepting of others. There is some peace in understanding that.
 
I am like you. I feel almost to neurotic to go to therapy also. I did try but the lady ended up talking to me about her issues. And she knew nothing about Autism either.

I also start thinking too much if the person really wants to really help me or is just a flake or fake.
So l am now too neurotic to go to therapy, l am not anxious, l just have zero faith in the therapist as l do much of the medical community.
Am l suppose to state the treatment path? I guess l went in trying to investigate my upbringing and how it may have affected me.
Anyways- l am totally confused because they never give a sense of l know what l am doing- we will have you bandaged and fixed in 4 months and rainbows and unicorns will appear because you are cured. Lol
 
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I read one book on therapy which described the purpose of therapy as forming a healthy, intimate relationship with an unconditionally accepting confidante. The purpose of life is to form bonds with one another and the majority of unhappiness is a result of failing to form healthy, fulfilling bonds. Therapy is the opportunity to practicing forming a healthy bond, and, in the process, finding the defects in the way you relate to others which may contribute to your failure to bond and having the opportunity to work on those defects without the defects destroying the relationship as they may in real-world relationships.
 
@Fino
That is what I get from therapy. Someone to practice opening up to with issues I wouldn't talk
about with anyone else.
My therapist is someone I have formed a bond with and she talks about her issues with me also.
It is a way of forming a relationship with someone unconditionally and learning how to build on it.
 
Sometimes l just don't want a bonding relationship with a complete stranger including my therapist. It's just how l rolled out of my mom. Fiercely independent with extreme care. My therapist is welcome to sit in my outer ring of contacts. But my inner ring is sometimes open, sometimes it's closed. What l understand is we have rings around us. The people super close are in our inner ring. Then there are people in our outer ring. People can float back and forth in this l guess.
 
My first therapist I thought could cure my anxiety - not realising I'd have to put in the leg work myself.

My second therapist was a necessity as I was signed off work due to anxiety - I didn't get on with her CBT techniques and English wasn't her native language which felt awkward.

My third therapist was wonderful - he provided valuable insights. Unfortunately, where I bought my house didn't make it financially viable to keep seeing him due to the distance.

My fourth therapist I'm currently re-visiting for a second time. I found when I was drinking and smoking weed there was a lot I wasn't being truthful about in our initial sessions. Realising this I took a hiatus. Now I'm 85 days sober and figured it'd be good to re-attend and be open and honest. You get out what you put in with therapy, and being aloof and untruthful wasn't going to get me anywhere. Also, I wanted to discuss recent findings with regards to what I'd read about tics and traits on the spectrum and how I found I did these daily.

I think I go to therapy for insights when I've gone through big changes in life. Friends and family can always offer another perspective, but I think there'll always be a bias in your favour. A therapist is a neutral element, and they also have training in psychology that friends/family don't.

They can't cure you - no amount of good advice will benefit a person if they aren't willing to change in themselves. Personally I'm not looking to forcibly change a lot of who I am anymore. I've slowly adapted to the cards I've been dealt, and use them as a foundation to build upon I suppose.

Ed
 
I would expect two things: talk on specific issues/past events and find a solution to specific problems. I'm neurotic about it too but I know it can be useful.

My first therapist was okay, although couldn't fully understand me. She was also the one that told me I may be on the spectrum. However, the therapy came, I can see in hindsight, too early and too fast (pushy) after a traumatic event and broke me. Essentially, I run away.

My second didn't care and never listened, so I left.

Going to try again when I'm stable financially. Third time's the charm huh?

I quite like therapy so far. It's clear-cut. You pay for service, you receive service. It's their job to listen to you and give you insight on issues. If they don't do it, there's nothing wrong in cutting ties. It's like going to the hairdresser for your thoughts. A wrong thought seen here, a change of thought there, getting rid of thought on the right... Not every hairdresser does it for you, not every therapist will.

The thing to remember is that they won't 'fix' you. Only you can fix yourself.
 
I think it depends on the kind of therapy offered.

If it is psychoanalysis then there are one sets of premises, but if it is counselling then a different set. You use the word therapy so I focus on this aspect.

If there are things you want to bring then I expect you would be free to bring that. If there was things concerning you I would mention that also.

best be upfront with the therapist - they are not mind readers - and say what you want/expect/hope for.
 

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