What do you do when you are freaking out from stress?

[Jumpback]

I’m having serious money issues and at this very moment I need to be working and I’m so stressed that I can’t focus or decide what thing to do first. Plus I have no interest in doing what I have to do. I’m not really asking for advice, but more what you do personally when you are having an anxiety attack about something?

I mean I understand about list making and changing thoughts with cognitive behavioral therapy type things and not catastophizing.

But more like just something like something I have been trying to tap my thumb against my hand to calm down so I can think straight enough to get to changing my thoughts and making a list

Or maybe there just is nothing that works except changing your thought patterns and list making. Just hard to do these things when you are having an anxiety attack.

 

[Pistachio]

Usually when I'm having anxiety or heart stuff when it almost feels like I might faint, I can't do anything except lean against the kitchen counter or sit down or something. Wait for it to pass, probably then drink some water. If it's more just generally stressed, I probably drink some coffee/tea/beer/wine or take a nap. I used to take walks when this happened but it's been allergy season.

I've never experienced the thumb tapping or list making to calm down, although I can understand the concept of doing something else (read a book, article, whatever) to not think about it as much.

 

[Matthias]

I never had panic attacks but I had high levels of anxiety and stress until recently. For a high level of acute stress, what helped me best was sprinting down to the end of the street and back (about 3 minutes) or doing aerobics for a few minutes. For something quick in the moment, deep breathing helped (take 10 deep breaths and exhale slowly, preferably with your eyes closed if your alone). For chronic stress, a hot tub really helps. A bath tub with epsom salt added also works if the fitness center is closed.

 

[Len Huppe]

Are you on medication for anxiety? If not you have the option of talking with your doctor about it. If you can take tylenol I have found that tylenol and a nap have a calming effect when I feel myself getting anxious or overstimulated. That was before I was prescribed gabapentin on a daily basis. With medication I am not as prone to anxiety as I was before.

You don't have to live with anxiety, on the job or anywhere else. Get help ...

 

[Tom]

 

[Gracey]

What do I do when I'm freaking out with stress?

Pull the same face as @Tom


Not really

I Acknowledge that I'm freaking out with stress

If I have the mental capacity to remember,
I might remember that my 'state' doesn't change any outcomes in that particular moment and is fear induced.
I'm afraid,
not useless

personally I don't use meds however; they are very effective for some users in taking the edge off anxiety,

I've gotten into the habit of acronyms, visualisation and breathing.

I also got myself a Fitbit that displays a real time heart rate.

If I'm not capable of much else I can 'shut-down' , focus on the display screen and use methods to reduce my heart rate in that precise moment.
(which serves as a welcome distraction while I'm watching and waiting for the number to lower)


Sometimes nothing works and I just have to ride it out.
Those instances are less frequent these days.

It's taken the best part of 2 years to change my habitual reactions to some triggers and stressors.
I started out by changing one thought at a time.
I'm not cured, just a little more confident in handling some situations better than I used to.

 

[Jumpback]

What do I do when I'm freaking out with stress?

Pull the same face as @Tom


Not really

I Acknowledge that I'm freaking out with stress

If I have the mental capacity to remember,
I might remember that my 'state' doesn't change any outcomes in that particular moment and is fear induced.
I'm afraid,
not useless

personally I don't use meds however; they are very effective for some users in taking the edge off anxiety,

I've gotten into the habit of acronyms, visualisation and breathing.

I also got myself a Fitbit that displays a real time heart rate.

If I'm not capable of much else I can 'shut-down' , focus on the display screen and use methods to reduce my heart rate in that precise moment.
(which serves as a welcome distraction while I'm watching and waiting for the number to lower)


Sometimes nothing works and I just have to ride it out.
Those instances are less frequent these days.

It's taken the best part of 2 years to change my habitual reactions to some triggers and stressors.
I started out by changing one thought at a time.
I'm not cured, just a little more confident in handling some situations better than I used to.

Hey, this is really helpful as a bunch of things to keep in mind and try to figure out how to apply to myself.

I’ve only just recently figured out that I must have ASD and have had negative experiences with the psychology profession, so I appreciate hearing what has worked for other people. Always better to not reinvent the wheel if someone has already invented it

 

[Jumpback]

Usually when I'm having anxiety or heart stuff when it almost feels like I might faint, I can't do anything except lean against the kitchen counter or sit down or something. Wait for it to pass, probably then drink some water. If it's more just generally stressed, I probably drink some coffee/tea/beer/wine or take a nap. I used to take walks when this happened but it's been allergy season.

I've never experienced the thumb tapping or list making to calm down, although I can understand the concept of doing something else (read a book, article, whatever) to not think about it as much.

It works really well for me to just watch a movie or something to calm down and wait for it to pass. But the problem becomes that I so prefer being relaxed by watching a movie that I end up watching 3 movies in a row and the financial problems just get worse while I am avoiding them.

I guess one could set a timer on just how long they allow themselves to calm down

 

[Len Huppe]

Hey, this is really helpful as a bunch of things to keep in mind and try to figure out how to apply to myself.

I’ve only just recently figured out that I must have ASD and have had negative experiences with the psychology profession, so I appreciate hearing what has worked for other people. Always better to not reinvent the wheel if someone has already invented it

Are you self-diagnosed? If so what makes you think you have AS?

I'm curious because I am self-diagnosed and it took me years to figure it out. I sought help from mental health professionals for decades and none of them ever figured it out. Reading Tony Attwood's book The Complete Guide To Asperger's Syndrome was the turning point for me. Now I have no doubt. I will say that the one psychiatrist I saw told me that I had anxiety. He went on to explain that anxiety was the root cause of my depression. At the time I considered myself to be so mellow that he had to be mistaken. Me, anxious? No way! He was right all along. Today I give him credit for spotting my anxiety when I could not see it in myself. I would not give up on the mental health profession just yet. However you may have to do an awful lot of self-advocating to get the help you need and deserve. How do you think I know this?

 

[Jumpback]

Are you self-diagnosed? If so what makes you think you have AS?

I'm curious because I am self-diagnosed and it took me years to figure it out. I sought help from mental health professionals for decades and none of them ever figured it out. Reading Tony Attwood's book The Complete Guide To Asperger's Syndrome was the turning point for me. Now I have no doubt. I will say that the one psychiatrist I saw told me that I had anxiety. He went on to explain that anxiety was the root cause of my depression. At the time I considered myself to be so mellow that he had to be mistaken. Me, anxious? No way! He was right all along. Today I give him credit for spotting my anxiety when I could not see it in myself. I would not give up on the mental health profession just yet. However you may have to do an awful lot of self-advocating to get the help you need and deserve. How do you think I know this?

I was pretty sure had AS the minute I heard about it a few years ago, but then the one person I knew online who has Aspergers didn’t remind me of myself. And I don’t know anyone else in person, so I sort of forgot about it until just now.

 

[Len Huppe]

I was pretty sure had AS the minute I heard about it a few years ago, but then the one person I knew online who has Aspergers didn’t remind me of myself. And I don’t know anyone else in person, so I sort of forgot about it until just now.

Then you have been living with this unanswered question for quite some time now. That is no way to live. You deserve to have answers to the questions that haunt you. Have you ever sought help in learning to manage your condition?

 

[Jumpback]

Then you have been living with this unanswered question for quite some time now. That is no way to live. You deserve to have answers to the questions that haunt you. Have you ever sought help in learning to manage your condition?

Trying to figure out how to manage it is I guess why I am the board. That and for socializing reasons. It’s just that I have had bad experiences with psychs and due to financial and health reasons (alcohol, cigarettes) I am hoping for anything that might present even a short term band aide solution that isn’t so unhealthy. Like when I started this thread, I knew that drinking would take the edge off some, but that is not a good solution.

I’ve been diagnosed with things individually (ocd, anxiety, adhd), but the disorders on their own kind of don’t show the whole problem or they just are off individually...like I would say that I have a tendency towards being obsessive compulsive, but I don’t do anything physically repitive to calm down or something

 

[Giraffes]

Hi i have regular anxiety and low mood and have done my whole life, i believe a key element is 'not fitting in' 'allowing myself to feel judged and defined by others, (lack of knowing/accepting myself?) and being under employed on a regular basis, after diagnosis i usually declared my Autism to employees and i feel this was a tool for discrimination and not as i wished to get understanding and reasonable adjustments so i could enjoy and succeed. I also 'self medicate' with alcohol and yes it takes the edge off 'overthinking' negative thoughts and loneliness, on the down side it increases my anxiety next day.... what did i say/do, arguements with people and yes a hangover!
I haven't drank for 2 days and this is tough but i wake up next day being me, this not drinking then drinking is a regular pattern the longest not drinking period was 6 monlths done from reading 'the alcohol experiment' by Annie Grace, i also have money problems as i haven't a job at the moment and my live in partner has left our home, i found taking practical steps to improve your situation helps, i've contacted my mortgage company for a holiday payment, same with utility companies and am researching jobs, problem is my experience is within care and retail ( both high risk fields re corona19) Sorry i've gone off on tangent and talked about myself AGAIN Stress/Anxiety... i use lists, meditation, and repeat 'this will pass' like a mantra, sometimes these help and if not i spend the day under my duvet.

 

[PinkPenguin29]

I've been throwing myself into reading, In the past two months I've gone through more than 20 books, and that's only because of the stress I've been feeling. I'm only working half the hours I was before, and a lot of life is happening all around.
I have also been doing yoga, and that helps some. When I exercise that helps A lot, but getting motivated to do so is another thing.

 

[Len Huppe]

Trying to figure out how to manage it is I guess why I am the board. That and for socializing reasons. It’s just that I have had bad experiences with psychs and due to financial and health reasons (alcohol, cigarettes) I am hoping for anything that might present even a short term band aide solution that isn’t so unhealthy. Like when I started this thread, I knew that drinking would take the edge off some, but that is not a good solution.

I’ve been diagnosed with things individually (ocd, anxiety, adhd), but the disorders on their own kind of don’t show the whole problem or they just are off individually...like I would say that I have a tendency towards being obsessive compulsive, but I don’t do anything physically repitive to calm down or something

Well I for one am glad that you're here. I too am looking for answers. What I have found to be helpful is making connections with other people. Its easier said that done but the payoff for your efforts are enormous. Speaking for myself, I want to get out and meet other Aspies. With covid out there at the moment its not a good idea. At least not yet.

So I guess that leaves us here to commiserate. I will take this forum over isolation any day of the week. Within this community none of us has to be alone. This will sound corny to some but I do take some solace in knowing that I can come here and get things off my chest. I didn't have that before I found this community.

How about you? Do you have a place where you can go and make connections with people or just find some peace of mind?

 

[Len Huppe]

I've been throwing myself into reading, In the past two months I've gone through more than 20 books, and that's only because of the stress I've been feeling. I'm only working half the hours I was before, and a lot of life is happening all around.
I have also been doing yoga, and that helps some. When I exercise that helps A lot, but getting motivated to do so is another thing.

Reading is a great idea! What kind of reading calms you down? Or does it matter?

 

[Jumpback]

I've been throwing myself into reading, In the past two months I've gone through more than 20 books, and that's only because of the stress I've been feeling. I'm only working half the hours I was before, and a lot of life is happening all around.
I have also been doing yoga, and that helps some. When I exercise that helps A lot, but getting motivated to do so is another thing.

The just doing something I like that doesn’t require a lot of decision making like reading or watching movies works great for me, but the issue is that nothing gets done

I’ve been trying to figure out if what I have is exactly autism or not, because I have a lot of generalized autistic traits, but most of them aren’t overly severe, and, as an adult, I have been able to transform myself from someone who hardly speaks and plays with marbles, to someone who might come across as charming when I need to

But the thing is that I have never been able to solve what seems like executive function issues involved with autism. Like see here

Executive function: what is it, and how do we support it in those with autism? Part I - Autism Awareness

Improving Executive Function | Organization for Autism Research

Executive Functioning | Autism Speaks

I don’t know how much this might apply to you or others, but for me such things are the bain of my existence. Like since I come across as not overly autistic and intelligent, people assume if I am not being organized or neat or go overboard with a special interest or on and on, it must be because I choose to be disorganized or am irresponsible or am lazy or am doing this or that wrong or whatever.

But I just can’t do certain things like others can. I can become a semi expert in like the ancient world in 100BC, but I just can’t manage to keep my place neat and organized without becoming an absolute nervous wreck

 

[Len Huppe]

It's taken the best part of 2 years to change my habitual reactions to some triggers and stressors.
I started out by changing one thought at a time.
I'm not cured, just a little more confident in handling some situations better than I used to.

Congratulations on 2 years of progress. Its good that you are winning the battle. Did you follow a program?

 

[PinkPenguin29]

The just doing something I like that doesn’t require a lot of decision making like reading or watching movies works great for me, but the issue is that nothing gets done

I’ve been trying to figure out if what I have is exactly autism or not, because I have a lot of generalized autistic traits, but most of them aren’t overly severe, and, as an adult, I have been able to transform myself from someone who hardly speaks and plays with marbles, to someone who might come across as charming when I need to

But the thing is that I have never been able to solve what seems like executive function issues involved with autism. Like see here

Executive function: what is it, and how do we support it in those with autism? Part I - Autism Awareness

Improving Executive Function | Organization for Autism Research

Executive Functioning | Autism Speaks

I don’t know how much this might apply to you or others, but for me such things are the bain of my existence. Like since I come across as not overly autistic and intelligent, people assume if I am not being organized or neat or go overboard with a special interest or on and on, it must be because I choose to be disorganized or am irresponsible or am lazy or am doing this or that wrong or whatever.

But I just can’t do certain things like others can. I can become a semi expert in like the ancient world in 100BC, but I just can’t manage to keep my place neat and organized without becoming an absolute nervous wreck

This ^ sounds so similar to me. I've tossed and turned over going to get an evaluation, and worry that I will be diagnosed as autistic, and worry that I won't, and in the won't category It makes me feel like I'm just a spastic looser. I know it's not the right train of thought, but that is where my brain goes. I have gone through periods of being very unproductive, channeling my hyper focus into escapes like video games, and reading. This would cause problems in relationships, work, ect...
I've even recently found out Autism is a common family trait on my fathers side, as several members have been diagnosed.
but the fear about the result still keeps me from doing it.
Regardless if we are or not, it does seem like we have a lot of comrades that share our problems and that brings some comfort knowing I'm not alone. I hope it does the same for you.
I've been trying to turn my quirks into super powers. I try to channel my hyper focus, and my need to organize things repeatedly, onto other tasks. It's been a very gradual change but overtime I got better. Sadly Covid set me to backslide a little, but i'll keep working on it. I find putting myself on a schedule that is consistent week by week helps, My phone has various alarms that I also include messages that remind me that a task only takes x amount a minutes, or If I do x, it will be easier to do Y later. similar to what the autism speaks link you shared suggests.
Thank you for sharing those links, I've bookmarked them

 

[Jumpback]

This ^ sounds so similar to me. I've tossed and turned over going to get an evaluation, and worry that I will be diagnosed as autistic, and worry that I won't, and in the won't category It makes me feel like I'm just a spastic looser. I know it's not the right train of thought, but that is where my brain goes. I have gone through periods of being very unproductive, channeling my hyper focus into escapes like video games, and reading. This would cause problems in relationships, work, ect...
I've even recently found out Autism is a common family trait on my fathers side, as several members have been diagnosed.
but the fear about the result still keeps me from doing it.
Regardless if we are or not, it does seem like we have a lot of comrades that share our problems and that brings some comfort knowing I'm not alone. I hope it does the same for you.
I've been trying to turn my quirks into super powers. I try to channel my hyper focus, and my need to organize things repeatedly, onto other tasks. It's been a very gradual change but overtime I got better. Sadly Covid set me to backslide a little, but i'll keep working on it. I find putting myself on a schedule that is consistent week by week helps, My phone has various alarms that I also include messages that remind me that a task only takes x amount a minutes, or If I do x, it will be easier to do Y later. similar to what the autism speaks link you shared suggests.
Thank you for sharing those links, I've bookmarked them

I think that an issue is that the brain doesn't have categories of X or Y, these are things that people create so psychs have simple things to diagnose someone with and insurance companies have a diagnosis to be billed for. And like since ASD literally has spectrum in the terminology it is a very broad category.

I have seen that adults can be diagnosed for what they were like as kids, and I would have fit ASD as a kid, so that's the approach I would have to take if I were trying to get diagnosed

But I seriously have significant issues that can only fit within ASD because there just is no where else they would fit in the DSM. I don't know, just when you mentioned reading books as a result of stress, I really related to that. But I just go avoid and calm down because it's so difficult for me to get through some complicated organizing task and so on that I haven't figured out ways around things (though I have got some great advice on here) the way I have with certain social issues and such, because I suspect that I just have worse issues with executive functioning and lower issues with other autistic symptoms than others do