John Parris
Member
I've been struck by the difficulty we seem to have answering the question 'what is Aspergers?'
So I thought I'd start a discussion by answering the question 'What Aspergers means to me.' Please feel free to comment – maybe put in words what it means to you!
'Hello. My name is John, I'm 70 and Aspergers.'
'Really! Interesting, so what does that mean?'
For me, the defining feature of Aspergers is how the brain deals with inputs and outputs. The brain has difficulty interpreting inputs from the five senses, sometimes too sensitive, sometimes the opposite, many times failing to process all the detail in the signals being received. Also the brain has difficulty in the command and control of outputs – the co-ordination of physical actions and communication. Being Aspergers, I may not be sensing the world as it really is and subconsciously I know I don't have the skills to deal with it. Before diagnosis, I didn't realise this, I just believed I should strive to be like everyone else.
Facial expressions show the physical co-ordination problems. The brain has to co-ordinate many muscles to form expressions. Non-Aspergers people learn to skilfully control these muscles to give subtly nuanced expressions. As an Aspergers person I have difficulty doing this. Look at my usual vague non-responsive benign face. Then when I try to make an expression it looks either exaggerated, understated or just plain wrong. Also, I shuffle around with my nightmare gait, creating havoc with collisions and breakages. In many activities requiring physical skill with pen, brush, hand tool or ball I'm just plain embarrassing.
I find verbal communication difficult, regularly saying the wrong thing to the wrong people at the wrong time, in the wrong situation and badly put. Not good with social situations, sometimes I've avoided them, been stumped or I tended to blurt out my first often negative or inappropriate reaction, only having to walk it back when I've had time to think about it – or someone has told me its wrong. Sometimes I think my response was a really good joke!
My development has been severely affected by these difficulties. I blundered in or compromised with sometimes weird workarounds to avoid difficult situations. As a result I learnt the wrong way from the wrong, often bad example from the wrong people or situation. This has two main components: First, my expectations about how situations work; what I think I can or should say or do were often just plain wrong. Second, what I said and did were usually defective copies of what should be. I call these Wrong Expectations and Poor Copies. Sometimes these might seem convincing, often they were grotesque parodies.
It is often said that Aspergers people are all different. My conclusion is that at a fundamental level we are all very similar. The same poor understanding of sensual input, poor physical co-ordination and communication skills. Further, the way I think I think is basically normal, albeit adapted by struggling to understand the way things are and to respond with poorly co-ordinated tools.
Yes, we have different characters and personalities and some Aspergers people also have other disabilities. But in many other ways the differences between us are in how we have mis-learnt from our individual experiences. Because of this what I expect and how I say and do things can be very different to other Aspergers people. We baffle people, we make diagnosis and description difficult as we have developed different Wrong Expectations and Poor Copies. But these are results of trying to cope, not symptoms of the problem.
So I believe we are all the same but different!
So I thought I'd start a discussion by answering the question 'What Aspergers means to me.' Please feel free to comment – maybe put in words what it means to you!
'Hello. My name is John, I'm 70 and Aspergers.'
'Really! Interesting, so what does that mean?'
For me, the defining feature of Aspergers is how the brain deals with inputs and outputs. The brain has difficulty interpreting inputs from the five senses, sometimes too sensitive, sometimes the opposite, many times failing to process all the detail in the signals being received. Also the brain has difficulty in the command and control of outputs – the co-ordination of physical actions and communication. Being Aspergers, I may not be sensing the world as it really is and subconsciously I know I don't have the skills to deal with it. Before diagnosis, I didn't realise this, I just believed I should strive to be like everyone else.
Facial expressions show the physical co-ordination problems. The brain has to co-ordinate many muscles to form expressions. Non-Aspergers people learn to skilfully control these muscles to give subtly nuanced expressions. As an Aspergers person I have difficulty doing this. Look at my usual vague non-responsive benign face. Then when I try to make an expression it looks either exaggerated, understated or just plain wrong. Also, I shuffle around with my nightmare gait, creating havoc with collisions and breakages. In many activities requiring physical skill with pen, brush, hand tool or ball I'm just plain embarrassing.
I find verbal communication difficult, regularly saying the wrong thing to the wrong people at the wrong time, in the wrong situation and badly put. Not good with social situations, sometimes I've avoided them, been stumped or I tended to blurt out my first often negative or inappropriate reaction, only having to walk it back when I've had time to think about it – or someone has told me its wrong. Sometimes I think my response was a really good joke!
My development has been severely affected by these difficulties. I blundered in or compromised with sometimes weird workarounds to avoid difficult situations. As a result I learnt the wrong way from the wrong, often bad example from the wrong people or situation. This has two main components: First, my expectations about how situations work; what I think I can or should say or do were often just plain wrong. Second, what I said and did were usually defective copies of what should be. I call these Wrong Expectations and Poor Copies. Sometimes these might seem convincing, often they were grotesque parodies.
It is often said that Aspergers people are all different. My conclusion is that at a fundamental level we are all very similar. The same poor understanding of sensual input, poor physical co-ordination and communication skills. Further, the way I think I think is basically normal, albeit adapted by struggling to understand the way things are and to respond with poorly co-ordinated tools.
Yes, we have different characters and personalities and some Aspergers people also have other disabilities. But in many other ways the differences between us are in how we have mis-learnt from our individual experiences. Because of this what I expect and how I say and do things can be very different to other Aspergers people. We baffle people, we make diagnosis and description difficult as we have developed different Wrong Expectations and Poor Copies. But these are results of trying to cope, not symptoms of the problem.
So I believe we are all the same but different!
