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Weird irritating things

D

Dwoops

Active Member
So today the weirdest thing got me really irritated for no reason. I don’t know why I got so worked up about it because it is just a silly little thing.
So it is spring break and I’m home from college, my parents as a treat got my siblings and me some muffins, blueberry and chocolate chip. I can’t stand the texture of blueberries so I never eat them, and my family knows that. Anyways, there were two left and my younger sister purposefully took the blueberry one and left me the chocolate chip one for the next morning. She said that she was saving it for me. I thanked her and planned to save it for later. Anyways, later my older brother sees the last muffin and just says,” that looks good, I think I’ll have it for breakfast tomorrow.”(same time I was planning on eating it). I don’t know why, but this made me so frustrated, and it seems like such a little thing. Note that I haven’t said anything to my siblings about my suspected aspergers/autism. I was really conflicted because I wanted to say something about it, that I was saving it, but at the same time it wasn’t really mine since we were all supposed to share them. It also just felt weird to contradict him for something so insubstantial.
I guess I wanted to share this weird event that irritated me for no reason. If someone has some insight, I’d love to hear it.
PS: The muffin has not been eaten yet, and I wake up earlier than he does. I’d eat it, but I’m still conflicted because it feels kind of like lying to just take it since he said something about it.
Lastly as a final note, I know the muffins aren’t a serious topic, but I feel like this can be extrapolated to more serious subjects. Thanks.
 
I guess you felt like that because you had been looking forward to eating the muffin, and then suddenly you are presented with the possibilty that you can't, so feel very disappointed.

You have priority to decide what happens to the muffin, because you laid claim to it first, but as the muffins were intended for the whole family, the fair thing to do is share it and split it with your brother.
 
Or plan B... Drive to the store and get more muffins (then shove 4 or 5 in brothers mouth at once)...
Or maybe not... A crime scene over muffins is just not worthy of the energy it would take. (just kidding)

Just go get more muffins, and roll on with a good day...

But I get it... Weird crap like that gets to me too sometimes, until I think about it, and then consider...

YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID, but don't join the crowd.... : )
 
If your brother is aware that you cannot cope with the blueberry texture and yet said that, then it is not surprising that it would annoy you.

If you think that is so stupid to get annoyed about; how's this one for you? I have designated cloths all all different colours and one time, I came home to see my husband using one of my "designated cloths" on his van and it was FILTHY. I could feel a tide of anger rise in me and just about managed to say: what are you doing and all he said was: oh, needed a cloth and saw this, so grabbed it! :eek: I felt myself stamping my feet as I walked and grabbed an old rag and whipped MY cloth out of his hand and handed the dirty rag instead and he was like: ok, time for the white jacket for you!!!

Has not happened since and now have plenty that he can "grab" and at least he asks now, what can he use.

In truth though, even NT's get irritated over seemingly petty things and my husband is a great one for that. He is a very untidy man with his paperwork and yet, if I was to pick up one and place it an inch away, he will say: can't you put things back where you found them?

Anyway, to go back to your situation. If your brother is unaware of your distaste for blueberries, then try and see that if he doesn't know, then he can't be to blame and if he does know, he is being nasty.
 
Suzanne said:
"designated cloths"
Click to expand...

I sort of get this (in some weird way) I don't have "special towels" really... But I do have car wash rags, dusting rags, and then I have dish rags and towels, and bath rags and towels (they are for kitchen and bath stuff only)... So I wouldn't take my bath rag and towel to wash my jeep... That's just gross...

Yet I truly know people who will take a bath towel and use it to clean up what I consider a toxic spill, or motor oil, or whatever and then throw it in the wash... NO NO NO! Its just wrong... In my head.

It's as wrong as someone fixing my plate for a meal... Just please don't... because people let all the food run together and I basically won't eat it if that happens.

The food thing is always a huge deal with me. I only eat one thing at a time and no food touches... I KNOW it's as STUPID as the day is long... but I have been like this since I learned to eat. It's just gross for food and their juices to join other food on a plate... Bones on my plate or an animal carcass (skeleton) on the table is another meal ender for me : (

Its not that I don't like meat or bones... I just want to take care of that mess before I sit down to eat. I'm a freak and I know that... : )
 
You had your plans (for the muffin) changed without consent. The same thing irritates me, too.

We recently had my wife's parents over to visit for a week. I love them and they're wonderful, but I somehow always get irritated around them. This time, I figured out why: they do things their way, which isn't my way. I like my morning routine and the breakfast I make every morning. When I came into the kitchen one morning, they had already made something else for breakfast. They thought they were being considerate and helpful, but I got annoyed because wasn't what I planned. I had to do a little introspection to realize why I was suddenly irritated, and that night I talked to my wife about it. She said, "You don't have to eat what they made." (Duh, of course! Naturally, I didn't think of that.)

The next day, the same thing happened. I realized that, it wasn't my plan, but I still have a choice. I weighed what I normally have for breakfast and how long it would take to make against just eating what they made. I decided to play nice and eat what they made. This time, since I consciously made the decision to change my plan, I wasn't upset.

Maybe you felt like you had your plans and decisions taken away from you. How can you assert yourself or take back your freedom to choose next time?
 
Chance said:
I sort of get this (in some weird way) I don't have "special towels" really... But I do have car wash rags, dusting rags, and then I have dish rags and towels, and bath rags and towels (they are for kitchen and bath stuff only)... So I wouldn't take my bath rag and towel to wash my jeep... That's just gross...

Yet I truly know people who will take a bath towel and use it to clean up what I consider a toxic spill, or motor oil, or whatever and then throw it in the wash... NO NO NO! Its just wrong... In my head.

It's as wrong as someone fixing my plate for a meal... Just please don't... because people let all the food run together and I basically won't eat it if that happens.

The food thing is always a huge deal with me. I only eat one thing at a time and no food touches... I KNOW it's as STUPID as the day is long... but I have been like this since I learned to eat. It's just gross for food and their juices to join other food on a plate... Bones on my plate or an animal carcass (skeleton) on the table is another meal ender for me : (

Its not that I don't like meat or bones... I just want to take care of that mess before I sit down to eat. I'm a freak and I know that... : )
Click to expand...
Not stupid or I am too.
Everything you said I relate to.

@Suzanne : Untidy with paperwork man?
Ha, the guy I live with runs around yelling and angry
when he has to do paper work. Once I tried to help
look for something he couldn't find and was told never
to touch anything pertaining to his papers.

And as far as the muffin, I would feel let down.
We're not dealing with the Muffin Man are we?
:D
 
SusanLR said:
he guy I live with runs around yelling and angry
when he has to do paper work. Once I tried to help
look for something he couldn't find and was told never
to touch anything pertaining to his papers.
Click to expand...

My husband does not yell, but he does say sharply: be quiet, can't you see I am concentrating or trying to? I actually told him recently that if he actually said: baby, give me 10 minutes and we can talk or something like that, then I would not feel like sticking my tongue out ( a very mild form of how angry I feel).

The thing is, and I pointed this out to him, is that I do not shout at him to be quiet. If I am absorbed into something, I can't hear him anyway; but if I am not and won't be long, I will just say: hang on and will be there with you in a minute.

He recently shot at me with: I should tape you, so you can see how nasty you sound and I said: I am happy for you to tape our arguments, because then, I can listen and think of ways to correct my behaviour. He chose not to say anything and the difference is: He thinks he does not wrong and I acknowledge that I do a lot wrong.

My husband will say to me: so you are just going to sit there then and not get up and help me search for what I am looking for? I do get up and search, but that is because he brought it to my notice.
 
Last edited:
Well, thanks for all the input.
I decided to just go down there and take it in front of him, letting him say something if he wanted. He did so I gave the muffin to him, then he said he wouldn’t eat it because I wanted it, when in reality I just wanted the whole scenario to be over... my brother is probably the only person who can get on my nerves. In the end I got him to at least split it so he could have some.
I like the reference to Solomon, but it was kind of the opposite, both of us trying to force the other to take the muffin.
 
I wonder if it has to do with the fact that we like to plan everything ahead of time because it alleviates anxiety. So when somebody does something that completely ruins the plan, we overreact. The muffin is just the symbol of a plan destroyed. I think maybe others are able to be more spontaneous because they don't plan ahead in the first place.
 
Chance said:
I sort of get this (in some weird way) I don't have "special towels" really... But I do have car wash rags, dusting rags, and then I have dish rags and towels, and bath rags and towels (they are for kitchen and bath stuff only)... So I wouldn't take my bath rag and towel to wash my jeep... That's just gross...

Yet I truly know people who will take a bath towel and use it to clean up what I consider a toxic spill, or motor oil, or whatever and then throw it in the wash... NO NO NO! Its just wrong... In my head.

It's as wrong as someone fixing my plate for a meal... Just please don't... because people let all the food run together and I basically won't eat it if that happens.

The food thing is always a huge deal with me. I only eat one thing at a time and no food touches... I KNOW it's as STUPID as the day is long... but I have been like this since I learned to eat. It's just gross for food and their juices to join other food on a plate... Bones on my plate or an animal carcass (skeleton) on the table is another meal ender for me : (

Its not that I don't like meat or bones... I just want to take care of that mess before I sit down to eat. I'm a freak and I know that... : )
Click to expand...

About the food touching...I know it must be a huge inconvenience when it comes to other's reactions, but I think (as I'm sure you know deep down anyway!) that if you have always hated food touching and mixing in that way it's probably something you do with your tastebuds and maybe a sensitivity to how the food tastes together. Of course, neurological difference can appear stupid to other people who don't have that difference, and so they'll look to find uncharitable reasons for why you do. If you just hate something -- like you say there's no need to force yourself through misery when it may not ever change anyway -- more important things to think about! :)
 
When I lived in a group home I remember when someone else was cooking or serving supper the food on my plate would be half-drowned in the water the frozen peas or mixed vegetables were cooked in, and I remember getting up and showing them this "brilliant invention" we had known as a slotted spoon, which could scoop up the veggies while letting all that water drip back out. You think your food just touching each other on the plate is bad...:tongueclosed:
 
Chance said:
I sort of get this (in some weird way) I don't have "special towels" really... But I do have car wash rags, dusting rags, and then I have dish rags and towels, and bath rags and towels (they are for kitchen and bath stuff only)... So I wouldn't take my bath rag and towel to wash my jeep... That's just gross...

Yet I truly know people who will take a bath towel and use it to clean up what I consider a toxic spill, or motor oil, or whatever and then throw it in the wash... NO NO NO! Its just wrong... In my head.

It's as wrong as someone fixing my plate for a meal... Just please don't... because people let all the food run together and I basically won't eat it if that happens.

The food thing is always a huge deal with me. I only eat one thing at a time and no food touches... I KNOW it's as STUPID as the day is long... but I have been like this since I learned to eat. It's just gross for food and their juices to join other food on a plate... Bones on my plate or an animal carcass (skeleton) on the table is another meal ender for me : (

Its not that I don't like meat or bones... I just want to take care of that mess before I sit down to eat. I'm a freak and I know that... : )
Click to expand...

My mother and I don't like leaving bones on our plate, either. Today we went to Swiss Chalet for rotisserie chicken, and we kept an extra napkin on the table so we had a place to put our chicken bones.
My mother once told me, however, that she's please to see me now eating chicken and leaving nothing but the bones. When I was a kid I would eat the skin and some of the meat but the fat and gristle around the bones would gross me out and I'd get in trouble for "wasting" it. Apparently boneless chicken was a luxury back then.
 
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