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Wearing headphones in public

onlything

onlything

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
What does wearing headphones to public mean?

Logic tells me that it means that 'I don't want to communicate, so pass me by without bothering' but I know that I shouldn't apply my logic to others. Also, it doesn't seem to work like this on too many people. I'm asked all the time during travel or a walk about money(beggars), my view on political/health aspects(activists), way to go(tourists) or any other little thing(random people I've never met before). Only tonight, exactly at 0:40 at night I was walking back from work to get some transport home from the nearest shop and I was stopped by some guy that started giving me compliments about my looks sounding at that like he was trying to sell me something. Turned out he was working in a marketing but when I askied what he wanted, he said he was 'shamelessly hitting on me' and proceeded to talk to me about his Indian mother(?).

Anyway, it's not the first time people just start talking at me about some parts of their lives when I just want to listen to music in peace. And it's rather confusing.

So what does wearing headphones mean in the end? Does it mean anything at all? Does it send any message? And if possible, how to make the message let people in this magical NT way know that 'No, I don't want to talk to you or anyone, so get out of my way'?
 
Walk fast, look pissed. It's surprising that people will bother you while wearing headphones. I don't usually get that problem, and I sure as hell don't get it twice because of the furious death-look I'll give anyone who forces me to pause my music, take out my earbuds, and ask them what the hell they want. The way I see it, wearing headphones/earbuds should be a perfectly clear indicator that you wish to be left alone, so they are in the wrong.

If you really want to be left alone, use the headphones and carry a stress ball. People leave you alone when you're squeezing a stress ball.
 
Same happens to me. One would think that the message would be clear - I want to listen to music, I don't want to be disturbed, leave me alone - but people still try to talk to me. Worse, they try to catch my attention by poking me, and I detest that. I quickly move away from people who do that.
 
When I see the occasional one wearing headphones out, I think: I wonder what they are listening to and we would get on great!

The occasions I have worn headphones, they are so tiny, that you can only tell by the lead that I am listening to music.

Once, this one guy asked me what I was listening to and in truth, I knew the type of reaction I would receive and did. You see, I have always dressed like a lady ie skirts and dresses and yet, my music at that time was Led Zepplin etc and the guy burst into laughter and we ended up chatting about music and then he asked if I would like to go out for a drink and I showed him my hand and he said something very complimentary to me. Basically, my wedding ring.
 
Gritches said:
Walk fast, look pissed. It's surprising that people will bother you while wearing headphones. I don't usually get that problem, and I sure as hell don't get it twice because of the furious death-look I'll give anyone who forces me to pause my music, take out my earbuds, and ask them what the hell they want. The way I see it, wearing headphones/earbuds should be a perfectly clear indicator that you wish to be left alone, so they are in the wrong.

If you really want to be left alone, use the headphones and carry a stress ball. People leave you alone when you're squeezing a stress ball.
Click to expand...

I imagine you. The head phones rived out of the ears, the listening device thrown to the floor. The murderous unblinking stare.
The T-shirt ripped off and thrown.
''This sh+ts going down'
 
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Yep. My headphones, along with my "unapproachable" aesthetic and demeanour tends to keep people away from me. Doesn't work all the time though.
 
Some people really don’t notice your wearing head phones. Honestly! Others don’t care.
 
I wear headphones when I'm in the back of Dad's car on long journeys, plugged into my phone so I can have my music on.
 
I tend to live in to my music, halfway dancing as I walk. That I think usually indicates that I’m not really present here. People usually don’t bother me then.

When I walk past touristy places I try to look as if I am lost. No one will ask me for directions etc. It used to work great last summer when I was working in a busy area. Personally I would also find a person who looked like they knew the area if I was looking for directions.

For the other random people who say something or shout ie. creepy men or marketing people I just keep moving, occasionally going “nope”

Now the people who usually come and tap me on the shoulder either have something to tell me about me, like my keys are hanging out of my purse etc. or ask if they can have a minute to chat. The latter usually get a response of me rolling my eyes and putting my head phones back on while looking im a different direction.
 
I went through a phase of not wearing any.
I was asked for more directions to specific places and standing still (at a bus stop Or queuing at a counter) the people I stood near tended to start a conversation.

I might start carrying a stress ball too.

When you say “look p*ssed”
Do you mean drunk? Or angry? @Gritches
 
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I don't have headphones myself but I've seen others wearing them. Really not that big a deal to me.
 
i always just think headphones means a person is listening to something on their headphones. That's all it ever means for me. I will choose to approach a person who is not listening to (or reading, or otherwise attending to) anything before someone who is, but only because I don't like to interrupt people in whatever they are doing, not because I assume they want everyone to keep away from them.
 
i do the exact same thing on a subway train,while avoiding a certain woman upon eye-contact like a ninja & taking my eyes off of her.
 
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The solution is easy.

Be prepared to be rude.

Unless its relevant to me I'm not going to take them off, and I'm not stopping, i just shake my head.

We get brought up to be polite as society expects it, but some people take advantage of that.

It's deliberate, and they get very skilled.

Make eye, contact, smile, ask a question - we are programmed to answer.

Break your programming.

Be blunt.

Don't stop walking ever, don't say anything but "No, thanks" or "no, I'm not interested"


We owe nothing to people who use our own politeness against us.
 
Hm, I often wear headphones walking out in public areas. Whether trains, streets or shopping mall. Most of young people wear headphones and I think it's perceived as normal. Even if somebody among other people doesn't think like that I don't mind.
 
Sorry about that. If I see a pretty girl I always start shamelessly hitting on them, headphones or not.

The most effective way (as I have also found for myself) is to look like a bum, or unattractive. For me one set of clothing or another is the difference between being a magnet for crazy people, smelly homeless guys, lost tourists and girls looking for a good time versus sitting in a full bus with a seat free next to me. "I'm a criminal" vibe is the best I have found, as a guy at least.

Resting ***** Face might also work, but I have heard from reliable sources that this is a magnet for the "You look much prettier when you smile" approach. Women aren't so bold, while smelly homeless guys are too bold, so Resting... uhm... Dick? Face doesn't work too well for me. Blending in with the bums keeps them at bay.

To me headphones mean "I'm easily bored". Not much else :eek:. If they're ugly it means "I have no taste" as well.

So just fix it at the root... attractive means people start talking to you. Changing that fixes everything. Well... there might be a few guys into that... but I'm sure overall less people would approach...So just hide that pretty face.
 
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