Wasted my 30's.

[Tony Ramirez]

I literally wasted my entire 30's. I did nothing. Stayed in the house all the time except for therapy and doctors appointments. I also had a terrible therapist and the doctor although was good I use to wait hours to see him.

I was bitter at God. I left the Church in my late 20's. I went to being antisocial. I gained much weight because I was on medication that the hospital gave me when I was committed for a week. The medication was bad. It did nothing to control my meltdowns or depression.

It was not until I was 42 when my sister nearly died and I came back to God and the Church. Covid almost made me give up again and revert but I had friends from Church who supported me.

Now at 45 1/2 I am fully back in the Church and and a new life group, more friends. I am doing Yoga just about everyday except Saturday and I have supportive great teachers. I however since doing yoga feel more energetic and in a better mood.

But I keep looking back at my wasted years. If I did not waste them and did what I did now in my 30s there is a possibility I could have been in a relationship. But I feel like I blew it. Your 30s are your prime years for socializing and doing things.

I also did more things this past four years than I did in my entire life.

 

[Rodafina]

I also did more things this past four years than I did in my entire life.

This is awesome and a great indication for your future. You’re pulling yourself up and out of the pit of despair!

I understand about what you wrote, though. I burned up all of my 30s with drugs and alcohol, and I am just coming out of the haze now. I’m hot on your heels though! I’ve done more for myself in the last year then the last decade. We must allow ourselves a second chance, even if we missed out on what most people call important years. For people like us, maybe the important years are the ones to come.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Thanks. I understand that. I feel like I am living life new again. I also don't feel old.

 

[Stuttermabolur]

I think you have come really far just in the past few months. Writing your thoughts down and doing yoga seems to have helped make you a lot more confident. I'm also glad that you seem to be able to socialize with others in a much more constructive way, and have a more positive outlook. That is a huge and very important change in a short amount of time, which I think is worthy of respect. I wish you continuing progress in your life.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Yes it was a wake up call even here after my extended vacation. I am just glad that places are open again. Covid rules and lockdowns was really bad for me but unlike before I had support from my friends.

Even forcing myself to do things I would have never considered in my life has opened me up. I am talking about Yoga. I thought I was too fat and old to do it. I was wrong.

 

[Lysholm]

This must be the season for existential regret.

Solidarity.

 

[Misery]

See?

I knew you could do it. And now you seem to have done it.

But as far as you come, you cant let yourself drop back into despair. Age will only hinder you if you let it. I think you'll find there's plenty of people who will socialize and connect at any age, really.

What will you do next?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

My goal is too lose all the weight first I gained because of the pandemic then lose more that I gained being on bad medication.

 

[Slime_Punk]

I know what it's like to burn up a whole decade doing stuff I'd rather not be doing, too. I definitely wasted my 20s drinking all the time and being lazy but vowed not to do that with my 30s and feel so much better for it.

It's only a small setback to realize that sort of thing, but sometimes realizing who you don't want to be is just as important as realizing who you want to be, and learning from past mistakes inspires future growth

 

[Thinx]

I see it as, we are on a journey. Sometimes we get stuck. Things overwhelm us. But at some point we get unstuck again through a combination of things, and carry on. We move forward.

You have moved forward after being stuck for all sorts of reasons. You got some help and you were ready to take it. Yoga seems to be just what you can use to progress forward, too, very glad you found that!

I found my 40s a very good decade for learning and progression. Maybe it's partly that we have been in the world long enough to learn enough by then, even when difficulties have held us back?

 

[Markness]

I see it as, we are on a journey. Sometimes we get stuck. Things overwhelm us. But at some point we get unstuck again through a combination of things, and carry on. We move forward.

You have moved forward after being stuck for all sorts of reasons. You got some help and you were ready to take it. Yoga seems to be just what you can use to progress forward, too, very glad you found that!

I found my 40s a very good decade for learning and progression. Maybe it's partly that we have been in the world long enough to learn enough by then, even when difficulties have held us back?

I can’t see it that way because I NEVER get unstuck. I am still in the same place I’ve been in since 2006.

I don’t want to continue into my 40’s at this rate.

 

[Thinx]

@Markness , Tony was stuck a long time, and now he has moved on. There just came a time when he could do that. Sorry you feel so down.

 

[Misery]

I see it as, we are on a journey. Sometimes we get stuck. Things overwhelm us. But at some point we get unstuck again through a combination of things, and carry on. We move forward.

Aye, I agree with this.

Heck, I've been stuck in my own messed up state (though it has nothing to do with relationships of any sort) for far too long... only recently did I really accept the problem for what it was, after some 20+ years of telling myself it was something else, and once I accepted that, a path forward finally showed itself. Now all I have to do is walk onto it.

They're all difficult steps though, yeah? Realizing the problem, accepting the problem, finding a path towards a solution, and then actually taking some real steps down that path. It's not easy for anyone, I think. Many get stuck like that. I keep referring to it recently as being stuck on a carousel of sorts, a busted, rotting thing that spins around in a loop that seems as if it will never end. We feel stuck to the horrid thing for all sorts of reasons. But all ya gotta do is just get up and walk right out of the thing. It aint easy, the thing is very shaky, but it can be done.

And you seem to have done that, @Tony Ramirez. Be proud of that.

I can’t see it that way because I NEVER get unstuck. I am still in the same place I’ve been in since 2006.

I don’t want to continue into my 40’s at this rate.

You can get unstuck.

Have I ever mentioned how long I had been stuck? I tell ya right now, it's... much longer than that. Longer than I want to think about. Just... too long. And it was awful, the whole way.

Yet here I am, jumping out of that horrid loop.

And ya know what? If I can do it, so can you. Stop telling yourself otherwise.

 

[Progster]

You seem to be a much more positive person than you were a couple of years ago. From your posts, you seem much happier. Concentrate on enjoying your life now, see beauty in each moment that comes, try not not to think about the past. The past is gone and isn't part of your current reality. You can't change it, but you can make it so it no longer has power over you, and move on with your life. You have many, happy and fulfilling years in front of you.

 

[Owliet]

I literally wasted my entire 30's. I did nothing. Stayed in the house all the time except for therapy and doctors appointments. I also had a terrible therapist and the doctor although was good I use to wait hours to see him.

I was bitter at God. I left the Church in my late 20's. I went to being antisocial. I gained much weight because I was on medication that the hospital gave me when I was committed for a week. The medication was bad. It did nothing to control my meltdowns or depression.

It was not until I was 42 when my sister nearly died and I came back to God and the Church. Covid almost made me give up again and revert but I had friends from Church who supported me.

Now at 45 1/2 I am fully back in the Church and and a new life group, more friends. I am doing Yoga just about everyday except Saturday and I have supportive great teachers. I however since doing yoga feel more energetic and in a better mood.

But I keep looking back at my wasted years. If I did not waste them and did what I did now in my 30s there is a possibility I could have been in a relationship. But I feel like I blew it. Your 30s are your prime years for socializing and doing things.

I also did more things this past four years than I did in my entire life.

I wouldn’t say that you wasted them. You had a difficult time and sometimes that happens. I’m really pleased with the changes that you are making now, you seem to be a much more positive mindset compared to how you were previously and even if you’re 45, 50, 80, that change is really difficult to do. So, you are making a lot of changes and feel better. Don’t think about the wasted years, you didnt waste them because they helped you be where you are now, /even if it doesn’t feel like it.

As someone who studies and teaches history, its a bit of a joke that I say you can’t look At the past and wish for things that may have been. You cant change it. Just continue to move forward, because you’re doing that now and that’s really good To see.=)

 

[AprilR]

I think it is a miracle just to survive depression and other mental illnesses. Just bc it is invisible doesn"t mean it wasn't there. You did what you could with the blocks in your life. Its not fair to blame yourself.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Thanks all. It was also good at Church. I feel my social skills improving. I talked to two woman. One I know from the Thursday group. It's easier to talk to them when you have something in common like yoga.

 

[tommynewage]

I literally wasted my entire 30's. I did nothing. Stayed in the house all the time except for therapy and doctors appointments. I also had a terrible therapist and the doctor although was good I use to wait hours to see him.

I was bitter at God. I left the Church in my late 20's. I went to being antisocial. I gained much weight because I was on medication that the hospital gave me when I was committed for a week. The medication was bad. It did nothing to control my meltdowns or depression.

It was not until I was 42 when my sister nearly died and I came back to God and the Church. Covid almost made me give up again and revert but I had friends from Church who supported me.

Now at 45 1/2 I am fully back in the Church and and a new life group, more friends. I am doing Yoga just about everyday except Saturday and I have supportive great teachers. I however since doing yoga feel more energetic and in a better mood.

But I keep looking back at my wasted years. If I did not waste them and did what I did now in my 30s there is a possibility I could have been in a relationship. But I feel like I blew it. Your 30s are your prime years for socializing and doing things.

I also did more things this past four years than I did in my entire life.

I identify totally. I wasted the past decade of my life. I’m just now getting slowly back to my feet having nearly drowned myself in alcohol and depression. I got into financial trouble, lost my girlfriend of 6 years who I thought loved me but she didn’t. She broke up with me after I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and then blocked me and refused to talk to me, like it was my fault I got diabetes. Lost friends. Just loss after loss. I became a nihilist and was reading Camus and other existentialist philosophy. I was in college but got so depressed and behind on debt that I dropped out my senior year.
Now I’m sober and just trying to stay afloat and am hopeful for once and it’s been a long time since I was hopeful. I had pretty much given up.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I never drank. Actually alcohol to me is disgusting. It tasted like vomit and cough medicine. I just stayed in my house and only went out unless I had to. I would also sleep till the late afternoon and stay up most of the night on the computer. I was on the computer a lot.