WARNING-SENSITIVE TOPIC: Is Anyone Else A Social Pariah Because You Said The Wrong Thing?

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

Well, I officially hate myself now.. I ended up saying the wrong thing, and now everyone thinks I'm a zoophilic monster. It started when the staff on a game accused my character's site of having made content. I didn't see anything sexual about it. Then a few months later, I learn I'm banned for zoophilic interest, and the "evidence" they used is when I said I was one of those people who are into animals. I tried to explain that that's not what I meant, but they didn't believe me. When I said I was into animals, I meant as far as studying them (ecology, zoology, anatomy), taking care of them, and getting a job as a vet tech. I'm not a zoophile. I would never even do such a thing, but everyone thinks I am. In the message I got for why I was banned, they also traced my hyena profile picture to an uncropped version that they deem inappropriate on a site called fur affinity. I don't even know why they would search up my profile pic. It was cropped, and there was nothing inappropriate about it. And then you have to have the sfw filter off on that fur affinity site to even see nsfw content. That site had nothing to do with the game in the first place, and I didn't share any links or anything. But they're still using that against me plus the fact that they took what I said the wrong way. I seriously didn't mean it that way. But.. No one cares.. It's over. My life is over, and they're probably gonna report me to the government. I'm a social parish now.. All because I can't say the right thing in social situations. Starting now, I'm just avoiding social interaction altogether before I mess up anything else. I'm already the worst person alive, and I should just kill myself off because I do anymore damage...

 

[Fino]

Wow, that sounds really tough. I would be so upset if that happened to me. But I wouldn't worry about any governmental reporting. Even if things like that happened, as far as I know, you didn't break any laws. It's legal to "be into" animals, as long as you don't harm any, as far as I know. And you may have gone a bit overboard in the last bit of your post when it devolves into "my life is over" and "I should kill myself." I can certainly understand having this extreme reaction initially. I've been known to do it plenty. But I'm sorry this situation has happened to you. I know it's going to be hard for a while.

 

[Aspychata]

Sometimes if someone or group doesn't want you in a clique, they will use anything to get you out, twist your words, take things out of context, whatever, makeup outright lies. So perhaps don't pile all the blame on you but realize it maybe outside of your control.
It is very like us to internalize all the blame as our fault. But sometimes it's not us. There are other things going on and we can just be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

[Streetwise]

Join the club I'm the president if I say anything on social media or a forum about Christianity I'm waiting to be attacked you now already know the rules for anyone else
No 1 terrible tight feeling in your gut and choking feeling from from filtering every word
No2 what the crap do I do now
No3 Hell doesn't feel far away
No4 great asthma attack from publishing rules
No5 when will the sarcasm start

 

[Suzanne]

So, they took you literally then? Which in fairness is what we do all the time as aspies!

I can see where they are coming from though, because to say: I am into them and your profile pic ( if the same one as here) clearly shows the atonomy of an animal, so, well, does add up to what they perceive.

I would love to take photos of our dachshund, because he is so cute, but I refrain, because the position he is in, shows his atonomy and I feel that is inappropriate.

The best you can do, is just be clear and state what you meant and if they are bent on misunderstanding, then really, that is their issue and not yours.

I have been there a few times; my words being taken out of context and yes, it makes me feel sick to the stomach, due to the misunderstanding.

 

[Crossbreed]

I would love to take photos of our dachshund, because he is so cute, but I refrain, because the position he is in, shows his atonomy and I feel that is inappropriate.

(You can pixelate [blur] privates with photo-editing software. )

 

[Thinx]

It sounds like they are a clique who try to exclude people they don't want to play with. I think they're just being mean, and you shouldn't take this seriously, except as an example of how the world works if you are a bit unconventional.

Sorry this happened, no one who's read your posts here would think anything like that about you, but people on the Internet don't know us, and some of them are going to be weird, prissy and judgemental or bullies, unfortunately.

 

[Statest16]

So what your saying is that because of your special interest in wildlife especially the largest member of the mongoose family "the hyena" there accusing you of bestiality.This is very bizarre,I hope this straightened out some how,loving wildlife doesn't mean you LOVE wildlife.

I love bears and snakes but have never slept with one.

 

[Misery]

Okay, look, I'm just going to be incredibly blunt about this:

You have to just get over it. IT IS THE FREAKING INTERNET.

It doesnt matter what site you're on, what you're doing, what reasons you have for doing whatever it is you're doing, what you plan on doing, who you are, what you like/dislike... none of those things matter. They dont stop the fact that THIS IS THE FREAKING INTERNET and this random nonsense can happen to anyone, at anytime, sometimes for literally no reason whatsoever. Or sometimes (okay, often) because some useless troll thinks it's funny. Or some other deeply stupid cause.

If you're getting that bothered because of what happened at a forum on the freaking internet, of all things, there needs to be some reassessment of priorities here.

I say this as someone who has been on the Net for as long as the blasted thing has existed. To say I've experience in this one is an understatement.

 

[oregano]

Zoophilia seems to be the new "it accusation" these days on such places as gaming forums. This is possibly due to prominent trolling forums like Kiwi Farms openly taunting and exposing real actual zoophiles to the point that 1 or 2 were actually arrested and thrown in jail for "sexual abuse of an animal" based on what the trollers dug up. Now the whole thing is trying to get anybody canceled by simply labeling them zoophiles as a way of shutting down the conversation. It's like "pedophilia" two years ago-simply toss it out there and it shuts down the discussion because the accusation is so barbaric that nobody wants to challenge it because they will be canceled with it themselves. This sort of thing predates the internet by centuries, of course. IMO it's simply part of human nature, part of our innate programming to view the world as "our tribe" vs "their tribe". For all our technology, we are still not very far from our caveman roots, especially where our brains are concerned.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

Sometimes if someone or group doesn't want you in a clique, they will use anything to get you out, twist your words, take things out of context, whatever, makeup outright lies. So perhaps don't pile all the blame on you but realize it maybe outside of your control.
It is very like us to internalize all the blame as our fault. But sometimes it's not us. There are other things going on and we can just be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Thanks.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

Okay, look, I'm just going to be incredibly blunt about this:

You have to just get over it. IT IS THE FREAKING INTERNET.

It doesnt matter what site you're on, what you're doing, what reasons you have for doing whatever it is you're doing, what you plan on doing, who you are, what you like/dislike... none of those things matter. They dont stop the fact that THIS IS THE FREAKING INTERNET and this random nonsense can happen to anyone, at anytime, sometimes for literally no reason whatsoever. Or sometimes (okay, often) because some useless troll thinks it's funny. Or some other deeply stupid cause.

If you're getting that bothered because of what happened at a forum on the freaking internet, of all things, there needs to be some reassessment of priorities here.

I say this as someone who has been on the Net for as long as the blasted thing has existed. To say I've experience in this one is an understatement.

Um.. They literally searched up my profile picture and found me on another site that has nothing to do with the game. I should worry that they could possibly search me up and find me anywhere, and if they try to spread the accusation, that could cause some problems in the real world. Some people have either been denied a job or lost one because their employer found them on the internet. And because I'm 21, it's possible that can happen, even if it is just on a game, they can search up my username and find me on other sites.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

So what your saying is that because of your special interest in wildlife especially the largest member of the mongoose family "the hyena" there accusing you of bestiality.This is very bizarre,I hope this straightened out some how,loving wildlife doesn't mean you LOVE wildlife.

I love bears and snakes but have never slept with one.

No, it's because I said I was into animals, and they took that phrase the wrong way. Then they searched up my hyena profile picture and found me on a site called fur affinity. Then they also deemed my hyena drawing as inappropriate (the my avatar on this site). I just can't say things right in social situations. Anything I say, someone gets offended, and I end up excluded because everything I say is taken the wrong way.. When I was I was one of those people who are into animals, I didn't mean it on a sexual way. But that's how they took it. To be honest, I should've never socialized at all.. This type of thing always happens. I say the wrong thing without knowing it, and the next thing I know, I'm punished for commuting a crime or offending someone.

Also, hyenas aren't part of the mongoose family. They're just mostly related to mongooses. Hyenas have their own family called hyaenidae.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

It sounds like they are a clique who try to exclude people they don't want to play with. I think they're just being mean, and you shouldn't take this seriously, except as an example of how the world works if you are a bit unconventional.

Sorry this happened, no one who's read your posts here would think anything like that about you, but people on the Internet don't know us, and some of them are going to be weird, prissy and judgemental or bullies, unfortunately.

Yeah.. This isn't the first time I've been excluded/banned from a social situation because of not knowing I said the wrong thing.. The first time was at a summer camp when I was only 9-10.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

Zoophilia seems to be the new "it accusation" these days on such places as gaming forums. This is possibly due to prominent trolling forums like Kiwi Farms openly taunting and exposing real actual zoophiles to the point that 1 or 2 were actually arrested and thrown in jail for "sexual abuse of an animal" based on what the trollers dug up. Now the whole thing is trying to get anybody canceled by simply labeling them zoophiles as a way of shutting down the conversation. It's like "pedophilia" two years ago-simply toss it out there and it shuts down the discussion because the accusation is so barbaric that nobody wants to challenge it because they will be canceled with it themselves. This sort of thing predates the internet by centuries, of course. IMO it's simply part of human nature, part of our innate programming to view the world as "our tribe" vs "their tribe". For all our technology, we are still not very far from our caveman roots, especially where our brains are concerned.

Because a lot of people are on furry sites or animal games. So zoophilia is either a common accusation there or there are actual zoophiliacs. But we don't know.

 

[Judge]

In the message I got for why I was banned, they also traced my hyena profile picture to an uncropped version that they deem inappropriate on a site called fur affinity.

First and foremost, take down that image and never use it again. While you appreciate animals, making a point to prominently display their genitals is simply not a wise thing to do. Worse when you humanize them wearing eyeglasses. Anatomical correctness is certainly logical, but you are pitting it against some potentially very conservative social values. Where for some, it's very easy to surmise that 1+1=3. That one image may have created a prejudice against you that just wouldn't go away.

The reality seems that one or more persons in control of that community simply didn't like you based on that image and whatever it was that you may have been posting over time. So they went out of their way to investigate you to see how you carry yourself on other sites. It's not necessarily fair, but then on the Internet there is no fair. Just the collective will and authority of others.

In this case it went very badly for you when obviously someone took your image and used it for their purposes and not your own. But trying to explain it is likely pointless, because it seems clear that these people intended to eject you from their online community searching for any excuse to do so.

Much like politics, sometimes perpetuating a falsehood can go a long way. Many of us have at one time or another been formally ejected from an online community. It happens. When it does, all you can do is move on, knowing that you either made a grievous social error and violated terms and conditions, or that you may simply be the victim of a mean-spirited clique and little else.

As for any legal repercussions, I wouldn't be seriously concerned about that. That could too easily result in a personal injury lawsuit against anyone seriously making such allegations in the real world. Conversely, just understand that being kicked out of an online community is not likely to be realistic grounds to sue a web host.

 

[Misery]

Um.. They literally searched up my profile picture and found me on another site that has nothing to do with the game. I should worry that they could possibly search me up and find me anywhere, and if they try to spread the accusation, that could cause some problems in the real world. Some people have either been denied a job or lost one because their employer found them on the internet. And because I'm 21, it's possible that can happen, even if it is just on a game, they can search up my username and find me on other sites.

Heard it all before, honestly.

Ignore it.

That being said... dont give out personal info anywhere on the net. Anywhere. If your real name isnt out there, employers wont find a bloody thing. Due to that being very specifically what they search for. Dont give them a username that you actually use either, no need for them to search that. They cannot search for a username if you do not give them one... it's seriously that simple.

And yes, that means Facebook and similar things. I dont care if your family is doing it. Dont put your name on there.

And, when it comes to employment, for the love of poodles DONT give them a normal Facebook or social media account.

Or... best of all... delete all of the blasted things and dont go near social media. Again, nobody can find something that simply doesnt exist. If you think they wont accept the idea that you dont have one, make a fake one for them to find that is all flowers and happy bunnies or you showing off things you've accomplished

To be totally honest, this is all rather obvious logical stuff. And again, this is coming from someone with experience in all of it. Unfortunately, braindead society has taught too many people to do this nonsense, despite the problems it causes being so very, very, very easy and simple to avoid.

No matter how resourceful employers are, they cant find you if there isnt anything to find. Also frankly most of them are... not very thorough, and that's putting it VERY mildly. There's a reason why the old practice used to be just jamming random friends into the "references" part of the application: Because they were not going to ACTUALLY call them anyway, and even if they did, well... a good friend will happily tell a lie for you in that situation (even going so far as to pretend to be some manager).

And just to emphasize and demonstrate that: I was never good at jobs. Any of them. Got fired all the time (and it was later determined, as part of my diagnosis, that I was 100% not suited for employment of any sort). Yet... I could still get every job I ever applied for. Why? Well, I sure as bloody heck never gave them anything they could ACTUALLY use to learn enough to find out how many jobs I'd crashed through. All they got was a bunch of bogus info that would lead them nowhere.

If an employer IS searching you out now, it's probably a higher-profile position you're interested in, particularly one where you have exposure to the public (such as being a PR guy). They do the search specifically because you become part of the "public face" of the company. If you're looking to be some manager at freaking Walmart or something... believe me, they could not give less of a fart.

Seriously. It's not worth worrying about. It IS, however, worth learning from. And that should be the one and only takeaway here.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

So, they took you literally then? Which in fairness is what we do all the time as aspies!

I can see where they are coming from though, because to say: I am into them and your profile pic ( if the same one as here) clearly shows the atonomy of an animal, so, well, does add up to what they perceive.

I would love to take photos of our dachshund, because he is so cute, but I refrain, because the position he is in, shows his atonomy and I feel that is inappropriate.

The best you can do, is just be clear and state what you meant and if they are bent on misunderstanding, then really, that is their issue and not yours.

I have been there a few times; my words being taken out of context and yes, it makes me feel sick to the stomach, due to the misunderstanding.

They actually took me figuratively because I just learned the hard way that being "into animals" in the neurotypical world means zoophilia. I tried to explain to them that I meant in a literal sense (meaning that I love studying, interacting with, and caring for animals as to why I wanted to be a vet tech), but they didn't believe me because they found I'm also on a furry site. But it's not like I was sharing things from the site or even mentioning it. They just searched upy profile and found that I'm on a furry site (which has nothing to do with the game, so idk why they searched my profile pic). But theyentioned that part od the reason they accused me of zoophilia is because my profile pic is an uncropped version of an "inappropriate" hyena drawing (basically the one in my avatar here). I cropped the hyena drawing because I knew how sensitive people were to anatomical features, but they went and looked for an uncroooed version on a furry porn site anyway. I don't know the reason for them looking up my profile pic. I mean, it's cropped and not showing the anatomical features Just because I'm on a furry site doesn't mean I'm actually attracted to animals irl. But because they decided to put that, my profile pic, and the fact that I said I was into animals together as "evidence", they concluded that I "expressed zoophilia" and banned me for life from the game. By the way this is a game that was coming out called FeralHeart Unleashed. It has a temporary server opened up called FeralNeighborhood that users are playing on until Unleashed comes out. This is like the original FeralHeart (I haven't been banned from this game, and I told friends on there about what happened with FeralNeighborhood; luckily they believe me). So the original FeralHeart is all I have now.. I would say I also have Dragons Den, but the server is blown out from a lightning strike and the game owner has to get a new motem.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

First and foremost, take down that image and never use it again. While you appreciate animals, making a point to prominently display their genitals is simply not a wise thing to do. Worse when you humanize them wearing eyeglasses. Anatomical correctness is certainly logical, but you are pitting it against some potentially very conservative social values. Where for some, it's very easy to surmise that 1+1=3. For some, that one image may have created a prejudice against you that just wouldn't go away.

The reality seems that one or more persons in control of that community simply didn't like you based on whatever it was that you may have been posting over time. So they went out of their way to investigate you to see how you carry yourself on other sites. It's not necessarily fair, but then on the Internet there is no fair. Just the collective will and authority of others.

In this case it went very badly for you when obviously someone took your image and used it for their purposes and not your own. But trying to explain it is likely pointless, because it seems clear that these people intended to eject you from their online community searching for any excuse to do so.

Much like politics, sometimes perpetuating a falsehood can go a long way. Many of us have at one time or another been formally ejected from an online community. It happens. When it does, all you can do is move on, knowing that you either made a grievous social error and violated terms and conditions, or that you may simply be the victim of a mean-spirited clique and little else.

The profile I had in there wasn't showing that part. It was cropped. They decided to search it up and find the uncripoed version all the way on a nsfw site. Idk why, but they did so anyway. As far as I know, the only warning I got from them before was when they deemed my character bio site as "inappropriate" when there is no nsfw content on there. Mt character site is here: Chubster G. Keswick ~ Aliases you can see for yourself if it's inappropriate or not. But anyways, I didn't post anything inappropriate. Plus, it's a game server. When I said I was one of those people into animals, I didn't know that they would take it as sexual. When I said that while interacting with other users in-game, I meant that I loves studying animals, interacting with them, caring for them. And the hyena drawing has glasses because it's a sona, but I was attempting to draw an anatomically correct animal. Even the cubs have glasses, I think. I'd have to look back at the drawing. I drew that hyena drawing based on a google images photo of an actual hyena laying in that position. At the time (which was about 2 years ago), I was just trying to draw my sona ad a mother with her cubs. There was nothing special about that. I just never should've interacted with anyone at all. Every time I socialize, it ends in me getting into trouble or excluded for it. I didn't know they would take what I say the wrong way or even search up my profile pic to find it on another site.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

Heard it all before, honestly.

Ignore it.

That being said... dont give out personal info anywhere on the net. Anywhere. If your real name isnt out there, employers wont find a bloody thing. Due to that being very specifically what they search for. Dont give them a username that you actually use either, no need for them to search that. They cannot search for a username if you do not give them one... it's seriously that simple.

And yes, that means Facebook and similar things. I dont care if your family is doing it. Dont put your name on there.

And, when it comes to employment, for the love of poodles DONT give them a normal Facebook or social media account.

Or... best of all... delete all of the blasted things and dont go near social media. Again, nobody can find something that simply doesnt exist. If you think they wont accept the idea that you dont have one, make a fake one for them to find that is all flowers and happy bunnies or you showing off things you've accomplished

To be totally honest, this is all rather obvious logical stuff. And again, this is coming from someone with experience in all of it. Unfortunately, braindead society has taught too many people to do this nonsense, despite the problems it causes being so very, very, very easy and simple to avoid.

No matter how resourceful employers are, they cant find you if there isnt anything to find. Also frankly most of them are... not very thorough, and that's putting it VERY mildly. There's a reason why the old practice used to be just jamming random friends into the "references" part of the application: Because they were not going to ACTUALLY call them anyway, and even if they did, well... a good friend will happily tell a lie for you in that situation (even going so far as to pretend to be some manager).

And just to emphasize and demonstrate that: I was never good at jobs. Any of them. Got fired all the time (and it was later determined, as part of my diagnosis, that I was 100% not suited for employment of any sort). Yet... I could still get every job I ever applied for. Why? Well, I sure as bloody heck never gave them anything they could ACTUALLY use to learn enough to find out how many jobs I'd crashed through. All they got was a bunch of bogus info that would lead them nowhere.

If an employer IS searching you out now, it's probably a higher-profile position you're interested in, particularly one where you have exposure to the public (such as being a PR guy). They do the search specifically because you become part of the "public face" of the company. If you're looking to be some manager at freaking Walmart or something... believe me, they could not give less of a fart.

Seriously. It's not worth worrying about. It IS, however, worth learning from. And that should be the one and only takeaway here.

Ok.