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Very Emotional Moment Coming Up For Me

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by Jonathan1990, Jan 23, 2022.

  1. Jonathan1990

    Jonathan1990 Active Member

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    For years I have always wanted a girlfriend but up until now this seemed impossible. On Wednesday though I'm meeting a woman who's fancied me since 2014 when I last saw her. We have been in touch with each other since 2018 for 4 years. Since then she's always gone on about meeting up with me and has not been able to due to her autism and mine. This week though her mom is bringing her to McDonald's so I can finally see her for real. Today I've founded out things I never knew.

    1. She is adopted as her original parents threw her out at birth along with a brother who I'll probably never meet with him been somewhere else in the country.

    2. The only warning that I was given was that she has to have things in her ears to help her hear better which I will find funny.

    3. Just like me she's been wanting a boyfriend for years.

    4. She went to the same school as I did but must have gone somewhere after I left between 2007 and 2011 when she graduated.

    5. We are just both unique.

    I already knew that she's come on a long way since I saw her last. She can now talk. She's also made herself better looking and dyed her hair pink to look more attractive.

    I need advice on how to cope for the next couple of days as I feel very nervous about this extraordinary moment and struggling to eat during the day and sleep at night.
     
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  2. Neonatal RRT

    Neonatal RRT Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    She might be feeling the same way you are. My guess it will be awkward with a lot of nervous energy,...just try to smile and use some subtle humor. Engage her in her special interests,...act interested even if you really aren't,...talk about family, friends, pets, etc. Does she like to travel, etc. What are her future plans, etc. Basically,...just like you,...if someone appears interested in you as a person, the talk will never end and you will hit it off. If she tries the same techniques with you, she's giving you the "green light" to elaborate,...but just watch her facial expressions and body language. If it looks like her eyes are glazing over in boredom,...transition the conversation back to her and let her talk for a while.

    The best dates are the ones where you can sit and talk about life and each other, and the hours go by like minutes. Just be genuine,...don't get insecure and start to exaggerate about yourself,...be honest and comfortable in your truth. If it works out, great. If not,...that's a part of dating. Most of us "old farts" back in the day,...before dating apps and computers, had to find the guts to simply walk up to a girl and take our chances. As you would suspect, 9 times out of 10 we were shot down in flames.:D Rejection is part of the dating game. You can't let yourself get discouraged.

    Good luck! :)
     
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  3. Suzette

    Suzette Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    This is exciting! You have already gotten good advice. The best I can do is to remind you that she is already a friend! There is nothing to be worried about. Just gave fun together.
     
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  4. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    HI and Welcome @Jonathan1990

    Wishing you all the best with the meeting.
    Be yourself, relax and enjoy it. I know you will be uptight and nervous (but so will she).

    Dont be someone you are not - yourself is enough and fine
     
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  5. Gerald Wilgus

    Gerald Wilgus Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I am sure there is anxiety, both you and her. Just recognize that she feels the same anticipation, hoping for the best at your meeting. It sounds exciting and you have gotten good advice already. Put her at ease, and reassure her that this is pleasant for you, too. Watch her body language. Is she leaning in as you talk? Is she playing with her hair? We don't do eye contact well but some behaviors, like grooming, closing distance and some touch, is common to NDs and NTs. She may be signaling her interest and comfort.

    Don't worry. She is putting effort into meeting you and that means a lot. When I first met my spouse, we developed a nice rapport during several months of talking by phone. Then, I showed up at her door after a bad day, dirty and bedraggled after car problems and being caught in rain which created a festival of mud. She didn't call the police, and we have been together for 44 years. I wish you such luck.
     
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  6. Gerald Wilgus

    Gerald Wilgus Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    That's nice! When I met my spouse it was 3 years after I began working on myself. We had some nice adventures on that trip (carpooling to a trail maintenance trip). At one point my self-rejecting autistic mind tried to sabotage my happiness, but I worked past that.
     
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  7. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    There probably isn’t much you can do to feel less nervous. You can’t really talk or reason yourself out of feelings like that. Just have to go with it until the meeting takes place. I suppose you could do a little prep work, such as think of things to say or topics to discuss.
     
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