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Featured Very emotional around you....

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Aspychata, Mar 22, 2020 at 9:37 AM.

  1. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Is it part of being on the spectrum? There is a occasional friend- and l have always felt very emotionally pulled and pushed. He maybe on the spectrum also. Yes, l really like him, and yes, l try to emotionally pull back but it has zero effect for me.

    It was like this even before we met face to face. I was already somehow dialed into him. I have even left my car door open, after seeing him. We don't discuss much about this but l finally told him to please talk in gentle way because my plate is full of too many not great feelings about where l live.

    Guess l feel stung, like how can someone have such an effect? I am a very logical human being.

    Do you deal with someone who leaves you in this state? Is it a good relationship? Are relationships on the spectrum wrought with emotional landmines because of so much sensitivity between the two? It's like the very good of it is also the very bad of it sometimes.
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2020 at 9:47 AM
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  2. christopher.k

    christopher.k roosterman

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    Almost sounds like love been having that feeling towards a pregnant work friend I really wish I could talk to her about it.......
     
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  3. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Finally we talk about feelings- but that took several years to talk about * feelings*.
     
  4. SDRSpark

    SDRSpark Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yep...I've felt that a few times. I don't like it, to be honest, I wind up attempting really bad relationships whenever it happens.

    I've started seeing "that feeling" as a red flag to be honest. In my experience, and this is no way universal, I feel this way about narcissistic brutes.
     
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  5. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Oh. That's a interesting take on it. Don't know what to say. Think the other person isn't narcissistic just good with their boundaries. They have never been mean to me. We take breaks and l always end up missing him.
     
  6. onlything

    onlything Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It happens to me at times as well. Just a sudden preference towards a stranger that has no logic in it at all. I don't like it when it happens and never ends well if I do let my guard down, so I tend to either ignore that person or avoid them until the illogical feeling fades. I thought that maybe it's hormones reacting to something but who knows.

    What this feeling definitely does is make me feel completely out of control of myself. So I make sure to thoroughly crush it before it can hurt me again.
     
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  7. Ken S.

    Ken S. Dog Cookie King V.I.P Member

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    That is a human thing not exclusive to the spectrum. Especially when you get a first hand look at how things are run. After having to take psychology classes for a managerial position my morals (Yeah I know that's funny) wouldn't allow me to take the job. They were on how to manipulate your workers cloaked in the fake mask controlling NT's use.
     
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  8. Rasputin

    Rasputin High Functioning ASD / Aspie V.I.P Member

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    This sounds like it could be good you you provided you take it slow. It sounds like he has been taking it slow.
     
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  9. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Don't feel out of control, just confused at the intensity of feelings. It's not love hate- l have been in that- that's toxic.
    Think the intensity leaves me scratching my head alot.
     
  10. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

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    I agree with @Ken S. - that it's not a spectrum thing. Our emotions can often be overwhelming and/or out of context to a situation, but that can apply to everyone.

    Perhaps a way to deal with this is to speak to the other person involved. Open, honest communication can only be a good thing and if you have some clarity around the relationship status, you may be able to relax and things will feel less intense.
     
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  11. onlything

    onlything Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    If you're quite analytic in your approach, then maybe writing everything down would help? It does seem to help me rationalise the feeling. Who is it towards? How does it feel? What does it make me feel physically? What was the first impression? What did I like about the person so far? What did I not? What kind of feeling is it exactly? What do I want from them? What do I expect? What is likely to happen? Etc.

    If you're not really analytic in these things then I don't think I can help yu with that... I have a very specific approach towards my feelings.
     
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  12. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Okay , l will do my best to explain to myself infatuation considering l never experienced this quite at this level. Nobody has ever cause me to completely forget something. It's just a feeling of utter contentment, peace, and time stops, and l forget who l am. That's the best way to describe it. I am no longer me. Then it was in motion before l met them in person. And of course by explaining it- it's just more confusing. Lol
    I am a true believer in letting things take their path. I don't expect anything because my life has been so topsy turvy that l have zero expections. And l don't like push that agenda on people, most people are adults and perfectly capable of making their own choices. Also l kinda like not knowing what is going to happen. It's more interesting. Now l feel like a bipolar- l like the intensity, keeps it moving along. After a couple of years- think they finally figured me out, but l have a lot of layers, and most people never get past them.
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2020 at 4:44 PM
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  13. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    You always give great advice. Have you ever encountered a intense interest? Guess it's a fascination, and l want to know what makes them tick, and then l just want to tickle them and see them smile and laugh.
     
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  14. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

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    Thank you :)

    Intense interest …..…….. in my late teens/early 20's I was in a very unhealthy relationship (unhealthy on many levels). My state of mind was not good and I know now that I was in a state of 'Limerence' Limerence - Wikipedia

    Turbulence, angst, chaos, uncertainty along with overwhelmingly powerful feelings of romantic love, adoration (undeserved, lol), unachievable goals and unrealistic dreams.

    At the time I didn't recognise how unhealthy the relationship was as I was so caught up in being part of this person's life.

    I never, ever want to feel like that again and have not done so for over three decades.

    I never experienced that (hideous) intensity with my husband and for that I am very grateful as mutual love and respect is balanced, which in turn brings peace of mind.

    @Aspychata - it may not seem like it now, but you have half the battle won as you recognise something is amiss. I didn't.
     
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  15. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

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    I'm going through this currently with another on the spectrum.
    Guess you could call it infatuation at first sight, but, really his looks had little to do with it.
    He isn't prince charming, but, he isn't a turn off either in looks.

    You are so correct about talking about 'feelings' is difficult. It is very slow for both of us.
    We are both happy when we are together and when we part I just feel like I'm in a daydream
    state the rest of the day.
    The emotional sensations aren't the normal ME, so yes, it is odd but good.
    Neither of us have ever been married and we're 55 and 63 yrs. old.
    He was the first to admit he felt an instant connection. I did too and told him so.
    We both skirt around out right saying how much we feel, but, say things to each other that hints of
    it.
    Both being on the spectrum I think makes it a little more difficult to talk about.
    We are good with hugs and cuddles. It just isn't what I would have ever expected to feel at my age.
    I think I will just let it play out as will and not expect too much or too permenant.
    Relationships have always ended badly in my life.

    Welcome to Cloud 9 -- not a truly logical place.:confused:
     
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  16. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Thank you for that unbiased post. Just because it's intense doesn't always mean it's wrong or not correct, so l like to keep an open mind. Guess because l have seen them so long , it's harder to walk away now.
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2020 at 1:51 PM
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  17. SDRSpark

    SDRSpark Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    This is ridiculously common in business and it's really sickening.
     
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  18. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Happy for you!
     
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  19. some/aspies/need/hugs/13

    some/aspies/need/hugs/13 Active Member

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    Ok so I get the feeling you are describing every now and then. usually in my case it happens with a female who is a specific type of personality, very kind, caring, and who is the kind of person who is always willing to give a hug. A lot of the time these feelings let me know they are a good person to be friends with or a possible girlfriend and not just putting on an act, I usually choose friendship though because it is safer and I get to know them better that way. Also I find the dangerous ones send up a red flag in the form of causing an anxiety attack when I see them.
     
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  20. christopher.k

    christopher.k roosterman

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    know what you mean I usually have trouble getting past the anxiety wall with ladies close to or at my own age so I usually take it as a good sign from my intuition/aspie 6thx sense that they're not just tolerating me and genuinely mean it when they give me positive buzz.
     
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