University

[buttercuplols]

Hi everyone

I have put off uni for a long time.

Today I went to an open day I had spent 6 weeks psyching myself up for. NT partner took me in the car and upon arrival announced he was going home and would collect me later. I lost my ****, missed the course talk and spent the morning locked in a toilet cubicle on the edge of a panic attack.

I'm really upset as I feel I learnt nothing, wasted a day and I feel pathetic. I have no idea what the uni or course are like now. This was my chance to get used to the idea of going there and if it's anything like today then... well, what can I say.

I have completely depleted my energy resources all for nothing.

How did anyone else cope going to uni? Was there extra support/help? (UK) Any coping strategies? I thought this open day would be one but it's made things worse.

 

[Nao]

Hi. I'm also in the UK. I have a book called 'Preparing for Adulthood' which is produced by a local charity and I was given to assist my teenage ASD son, I think it may cover issues like Uni and what extra help is available so I'll have a look thro and let you know if I find anything relevant. I would also try to speak or email (could be easier) your tutor or if there is a SEN co-ordinator and explain your situation. I'm sure you won't be the first ASD student so just be honest about your fears and worries. My way of dealing with such situations is to try and blend into the background until I feel more comfortable or pretend to be the most confident person in the room, although I suspect I can come across as a bit of an arrogant knob when I do that! [emoji1]

 

[buttercuplols]

Hi. I'm also in the UK. I have a book called 'Preparing for Adulthood' which is produced by a local charity and I was given to assist my teenage ASD son, I think it may cover issues like Uni and what extra help is available so I'll have a look thro and let you know if I find anything relevant. I would also try to speak or email (could be easier) your tutor or if there is a SEN co-ordinator and explain your situation. I'm sure you won't be the first ASD student so just be honest about your fears and worries. My way of dealing with such situations is to try and blend into the background until I feel more comfortable or pretend to be the most confident person in the room, although I suspect I can come across as a bit of an arrogant knob when I do that! [emoji1]

I will seek out that book if I can. I'm sure I do the 'arrogant knob' thing too! Hahaha! [emoji4] [emoji12] [emoji23]

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I attended uni in the UK

They do offer support for people with AS, academically with extra time and computer access in exams, and also a 'mentor' who is basically a person who helps you sort out your life and cope with anything you are having problems with.

I was introduced to my mentor on my first day, she showed me around the uni, pointing out quiet areas to work and so on, she helped me with organisation and time management for assignments and revision, helped me write important emails, spoke to lecturers on my behalf when I was having problems in their seminars, she offered to go to the clubs and societies fair with me to help me talk to people and sign up for things, and attend the first meet up of the clubs I joined with me, she taught me some coping strategies for class debates and presentations. Basically the mentor is there to help you with anything you need help with. Sometimes we just sat around and drank tea together.

Anyway, my advise would be to contact the disability support team at the uni you are considering, they will be able to explain what support you can access. If you explain the problems you had on the open day and your concerns they might be able to arrange for you to visit the uni and talk to the lecturers.

 

[buttercuplols]

I attended uni in the UK

They do offer support for people with AS, academically with extra time and computer access in exams, and also a 'mentor' who is basically a person who helps you sort out your life and cope with anything you are having problems with.

I was introduced to my mentor on my first day, she showed me around the uni, pointing out quiet areas to work and so on, she helped me with organisation and time management for assignments and revision, helped me write important emails, spoke to lecturers on my behalf when I was having problems in their seminars, she offered to go to the clubs and societies fair with me to help me talk to people and sign up for things, and attend the first meet up of the clubs I joined with me, she taught me some coping strategies for class debates and presentations. Basically the mentor is there to help you with anything you need help with. Sometimes we just sat around and drank tea together.

Anyway, my advise would be to contact the disability support team at the uni you are considering, they will be able to explain what support you can access. If you explain the problems you had on the open day and your concerns they might be able to arrange for you to visit the uni and talk to the lecturers.

Thanks. I spoke to the disability team but they only really knew details on dyslexia help. Nothing AS specific. I guess I will try with what you said about contacting them to explain and see if I can get some info. I just wish these things weren't so ****ing difficult! Why can't life just give you a break and a day off being an aspie sometimes?! :'(

 

[Mr Allen]

I'd love to do a game design course at Uni, but they don't do it in Sheffield and even if they did I'm a) too old and b) not clever enough to do Uni, I failed every subject except typing at school.

 

[HappyHermit]

I went to uni, but not in the UK. No assistance for people with hidden disabilities anywhere to be found. I found it pretty hellish, but it was a sink-or-swim proposition for me, and there were no alternatives. I had to work to support myself anyway, so it was hell, but either with or without the possibility of improvement.

There's no way I could have studied my subject online the first time around, but I went back later and completed another degree by distance learning that I never would have managed to do by attending regular uni again. It was a very different experience, online versus attending.

So if there's any chance you can complete your degree by distance learning, or partly by distance learning, I would strongly encourage you to do that. It'll depend on the subject and your financial situation, though some distance learning options honestly aren't more expensive than regular uni and just as legitimate (not all of them, but some).

That way you could work on your coping skills separately from your course work. Doing both together if you haven't had to before sounds like a bit of a tall order now.

 

[Astroganga]

I'd love to do a game design course at Uni, but they don't do it in Sheffield and even if they did I'm a) too old and b) not clever enough to do Uni, I failed every subject except typing at school.

A)you're not and b)wrong. My mum left school with no qualifications, struggles with even basic maths, and she has beautiful handwriting but struggles with writing a lot, grammar and spelling. She was labelled 'thick' at school in the 50s and 60s. I also suspect she is an Aspie but that is another story. At the age of 45 she did an access course and went on to do a degree in philosophy and some other pretty highbrow subjects, so all written work, no practical stuff like you would have on a game design course. She graduated with a 2:2. She has gone on to do some online courses too.

 

[Kupu2]

Uni isn't just dry academic work. There is a huge amount to be gained by attending vs online study. Depending on what subjects you do, I guarantee you'll end up with at least one aspie lecturer. My specialisation was chock full of spectrumites (I am speculating, of course.). So, being there, lecturers/tutors etc get to know you better and can be more empathetic. They are also invaluable for referees later on - if you look for work or post grad study. You can also buddy up with those similar to you. And they will be there...!

Getting others' perspective on things helps too. I grew exponentially after my many years in that arena. All growth for us ADSers requires a huge gulp and an eyes closed leap of faith.