Universal Translator

[Neia]

Most of my NT friends consider me a "good listener" and like to share their problems with me.

This makes me feel rather guilty because the only reason I don't keep interrupting them as they talk, is because I feel like I can't get a word in.
I usually try to say something that I think might be useful, or share something I experienced, but they keep talking, and I learnt that you shouldn't interrupt people because it offends them.

So I mostly let them speak until the "Am I wrong?" or the "What do you think?" kind of tag question comes. Then I try to give an appropriate answer that is based on my knowledge and might be useful for the person. Usually they seem happy with this.
But some times I've gotten into trouble because I thought I should say something, because I see a problem with their reasoning and point it out without them asking for help.

Then, the opposite doesn't seem to apply.
I mean... if I'm trying to share my own issues they feel free to interject, even when I haven't finished telling them what the problem is, or am not looking for advice, but just to vent.
I like being very specific, and remembering things and retelling them quite exactly (as much as I can) so as to get my point across well, and getting an appropriate reply. Also to avoid misunderstandings.
But when they interrupt me, if I try to insist and go back to telling them whatever I'm telling, they call me out and say that that I'm not listening and am stuck and stubborn, and other similar things.

Some people, like that Psychiatrist, really don't like it when I try to share as much info as possible on some issue.

At times I wonder if it isn't just better to shut up and stay in my corner. But then, my NT friends, seem to find it offensive if I don't share. I don't want to hurt them and, truth be told, it does feel good to share my problems with others.

I wish that a Universal Translator existed that was tuned to Neia language.

 

[Au Naturel]

I mostly let them speak until the "Am I wrong?" or the "What do you think?" kind of tag question comes

When that tag comes up, people are not asking for advice. Almost without exception, they are looking for someone to confirm what they've already decided on. Tell them what they want to hear and move on.

When they interrupt you, it is usually because they don't want to hear any more. They want to give you a preset answer they've been thinking about instead of listening to you. Thank them, and move on.

 

[TBRS1]

I have the same experiences exactly.

Why is it that things are only rude or wrong when I do them, but not when someone else does them to me?

I cut a bunch of people out of my life because I got sick of being treated with blatant disrespect. They were mostly family. Friends I could pick, and I picked better.

 

[Outdated]

This makes me feel rather guilty because the only reason I don't keep interrupting them as they talk, is because I feel like I can't get a word in.

This is a common autistic trait. It takes us longer than others to process voice in to meaning, and vice versa. The more voices at once the slower we get. Most of us have no trouble with one or two people but as you add more voices to the group we get left further and further behind.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Most of my NT friends consider me a "good listener" and like to share their problems with me.

This makes me feel rather guilty because the only reason I don't keep interrupting them as they talk, is because I feel like I can't get a word in.
I usually try to say something that I think might be useful, or share something I experienced, but they keep talking, and I learnt that you shouldn't interrupt people because it offends them.

So I mostly let them speak until the "Am I wrong?" or the "What do you think?" kind of tag question comes. Then I try to give an appropriate answer that is based on my knowledge and might be useful for the person. Usually they seem happy with this.
But some times I've gotten into trouble because I thought I should say something, because I see a problem with their reasoning and point it out without them asking for help.

Then, the opposite doesn't seem to apply.
I mean... if I'm trying to share my own issues they feel free to interject, even when I haven't finished telling them what the problem is, or am not looking for advice, but just to vent.
I like being very specific, and remembering things and retelling them quite exactly (as much as I can) so as to get my point across well, and getting an appropriate reply. Also to avoid misunderstandings.
But when they interrupt me, if I try to insist and go back to telling them whatever I'm telling, they call me out and say that that I'm not listening and am stuck and stubborn, and other similar things.

Some people, like that Psychiatrist, really don't like it when I try to share as much info as possible on some issue.

At times I wonder if it isn't just better to shut up and stay in my corner. But then, my NT friends, seem to find it offensive if I don't share. I don't want to hurt them and, truth be told, it does feel good to share my problems with others.

I wish that a Universal Translator existed that was tuned to Neia language.

This was the story of my life. Back when I was actually in social situations a wide variety of people came to me to talk at length about their problems, even people I hardly knew would come up and talk.

I must have had a neon sign over my head saying, Good Listener Here.

But finding someone to listen to me when I am upset is quite rare.

I no longer have any social experiences to speak of, so it is less of a problem now.

 

[Judge]

This is a common autistic trait. It takes us longer than others to process voice in to meaning, and vice versa. The more voices at once the slower we get. Most of us have no trouble with one or two people but as you add more voices to the group we get left further and further behind.

Indeed. When it comes to multitasking, I find communication unsustainable when it involves more than one person in real time. And yet I can multitask in real time reasonably well provided it doesn't involve having to listen to or interact with another person.

Lately I'm finding an increased difficulty in understanding people speaking in clear English, but who speak it just too fast for me to keep up. Not sure if that's autism or just the aging process.

 

[Outdated]

It might be age related, not physically caused by age but simply because we socialise less as we get older and skills and tolerances diminish a bit.

 

[Neia]

Indeed. When it comes to multitasking, I find communication unsustainable when it involves more than one person in real time. And yet I can multitask in real time reasonably well provided it doesn't involve having to listen to or interact with another person.

Lately I'm finding an increased difficulty in understanding people speaking in clear English, but who speak it just too fast for me to keep up. Not sure if that's autism or just the aging process.

Don't scare me if I lose English I'll be totally stranded.

 

[Judge]

Don't scare me if I lose English I'll be totally stranded.

I bet your ability to comprehend Spanish spoken by a Cuban is a whole lot better than mine no matter what age I was or am now...lol.

 

[Outdated]

Don't scare me if I lose English I'll be totally stranded.

I don't think you'll lose your English, more likely you'll just be less tolerant of people that don't speak it well.

 

[Mary Terry]

I bet your ability to comprehend Spanish spoken by a Cuban is a whole lot better than mine no matter what age I was or am now...lol.

I'm losing my ability (or willingness) to understand the so-called "English" spoken by some local residents. I need an interpreter for some of them and yet we'll all native-born Americans.

 

[Judge]

I'm losing my ability (or willingness) to understand the so-called "English" spoken by some local residents. I need an interpreter for some of them and yet we'll all native-born Americans.

Reminds me of once having to work with someone from Hawaii with a serious "Pidgin" English accent and vocabulary...lol.

 

[Neia]

I bet your ability to comprehend Spanish spoken by a Cuban is a whole lot better than mine no matter what age I was or am now...lol.

That's the advantage of being Portuguese we usually have no difficulty in understanding Spanish, Italian, even French is reasonably easy for us. As long as we don't have to write it, or speak it

 

[Judge]

That's the advantage of being Portuguese we usually have no difficulty in understanding Spanish, Italian, even French is reasonably easy for us. As long as we don't have to write it, or speak it

I still bust up laughing whenever I hear a native-Spanish speaking person condemn everything spoken by Mexicans. Often from those who were born in Central America. Go figure.

 

[Neia]

That's actually something I noticed, nowadays when I try to speak French, my brain jumps to Italian. I really have to think about what I want to say.
Not that I ever really cared about French. Still hate it to this day.

 

[Outdated]

I find it funny when people come here believing that they speak English but they only speak American English. There's always lots of confusion and misunderstandings, most Aussies are fully aware of this of course and find it amusing.

 

[Judge]

I find it funny when people come here believing that they speak English but they only speak American English. There's always lots of confusion and misunderstandings, most Aussies are fully aware of this of course and find it amusing.

Well, everybody knows that English was invented by Ben Franklin.

 

[Neia]

I still bust up laughing whenever I hear a native-Spanish speaking person condemn everything spoken by Mexicans. Often from those who were born in Central America. Go figure.

I'm a total language snob.

When a Brazilian tries to correct my Portuguese I have to bite my tongue. Particularly when they insist in using modern grammar
Some years ago the stupid Portuguese government agreed to a Grammar agreement to make things easier for Brazilians and etc.
They murdered the Portuguese language.
I will not comply with it.

 

[Judge]

I'm a total language snob.

When a Brazilian tries to correct my Portuguese I have to bite my tongue. Particularly when they insist in using modern grammar
Some years ago the stupid Portuguese government agreed to a Grammar agreement to make things easier for Brazilians and etc.
They murdered the Portuguese language.
I will not comply with it.

Ooooooh yes, I've heard about that as well. As much animosity as with the Mexicans and their version of Spanish.

Bleedin' colonials and all. Wot!

 

[Outdated]

I'm the same, pedantic about language, but there's also some words that I have misspelt since I was a kid. 50 years later I still have to go back and correct myself every time. The brain likes to stick with what it learnt first.