I can’t see a therapist because my dad believes therapy is a scam and because my mom’s financial situation isn’t doing too hot.
I’ve been told I don’t have it as the symptoms would’ve shown up by now.
If you haven’t seen a therapist, who is telling you that you definitely don’t have bipolar symptoms? I’m not second-guessing YOU, I’m just wondering if you could benefit from some support outside of your father’s possibly narrow view of mental health treatment.
Edit: note, the average age of onset for a certain type of bipolar disorder is approximately 25 years old, so whoever is telling you that is misinformed. I am NOT saying you have BPD. I’m just saying that you are at exactly at the age where different types of things can come up and identifying the right thing now can be massively helpful to you in your life.
is this normal? What should I do?
It’s a problem if it is upsetting to you or makes your life difficult. What is normal and comfortable for you is most important, regardless of what that looks like to the outside world. If you are functioning well and feeling good, then normal doesn’t matter so much. From the way you wrote things, though, it sounds like your emotions are somewhat out of control and too intense in ways that you do not like.
I would share with you one idea that comes to mind from reading lots of posts here about intense emotional outburst… It’s a tricky one and I find it annoying, but also very useful. Identify the triggers. If you can, start to realize what sort of patterns lead up to these intense emotions and maybe you can find a ways to start to calm yourself before your emotions get too intense.
If you haven’t already, starting to take note of any patterns in your emotions could be helpful and important. It may feel like they are chaotic, but if you really start to notice and pay attention, maybe there’s more of a cycle to them or maybe there are certain things that are instigating the anger or the happiness etc.
Lastly, I would just say keep talking to us. You’ll get so many varied opinions, and you deserve to hear lots of ideas. Your personality (and art) is quite exuberant and it is lovely. I would echo
@Aspychata and say that it’s been a pleasure to meet you here in the forum.