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Unable to control emotions?

Emotional dysregulation/mood swings with your Asperger's


  • Total voters
    5

mysterionz

oh hamburgers!
V.I.P Member
When I’m under a lot of stress, I find it super hard to control my emotions and can be in extreme states of emotion (some days it’s anger, some days it’s happiness and I feel on top world, and some days I feel normal. When I feel angry, I want to smash a wall or yell at my parents, and other days I just feel like offing myself because I’m a waste of space to my family. I can’t see a therapist because my dad believes therapy is a scam and because my mom’s financial situation isn’t doing too hot. There’s a history of bipolar disorder in my family, but I’ve been told I don’t have it as the symptoms would’ve shown up by now. I also have really bad anxiety that gets worse when I’m under pressure and I feel like I’m gonna pass out.

is this normal? What should I do?
 
My emotions are anything but beige. I can wholeheartedly agree with your descriptions of extreme emotional states.

At the very least, it makes us interesting company.

Ed
 
Do what i'm doing. Cut yourself off from society and don't come out. That's what's (almost) working for me anyway. Hell, i've been doing this for so long, when i wake up in the morning i'm just numb now. My own household where i'm supposed to feel safe and protected is now nothing short of a mental asylum. It is not something that gets better or changes, except to get worse somehow.

I wish i had advice to give you, friend, but i'm too shattered.
 
I don't know if it's normal or not but I was much the same as you at age 18. Being a teenager was a massive emotional rollercoaster ride for me, it settled down as I built more confidence in myself.
 
This sounds difficult, I wonder if there's any low cost or free therapy you could get? Or counselling from health services? Would your dad have to even know? I'm in the UK and our systems are different, so I am not sure what you can access where you are. Do you have any available income from your work at all? Or perhaps talking with a friend you trust would help?
 
I am going to GO AGAINST the previous posts.

Wow, you are passionate. You feel things. Guess what 10,000 people will show up and tell YOU to dial down your emotions.

It's a pleasure to meet you. :)

It does get easier the older you get. Just accept that u feel emotions strongly. So you need to practice loving yourself first. Then do your best to filter those other feelings. Yes, we call it masking. But feeling things doesn't make you horrible or threatening, it just means you feel and relish life.
 
I can’t see a therapist because my dad believes therapy is a scam and because my mom’s financial situation isn’t doing too hot.
I’ve been told I don’t have it as the symptoms would’ve shown up by now.
If you haven’t seen a therapist, who is telling you that you definitely don’t have bipolar symptoms? I’m not second-guessing YOU, I’m just wondering if you could benefit from some support outside of your father’s possibly narrow view of mental health treatment.

Edit: note, the average age of onset for a certain type of bipolar disorder is approximately 25 years old, so whoever is telling you that is misinformed. I am NOT saying you have BPD. I’m just saying that you are at exactly at the age where different types of things can come up and identifying the right thing now can be massively helpful to you in your life.

is this normal? What should I do?
It’s a problem if it is upsetting to you or makes your life difficult. What is normal and comfortable for you is most important, regardless of what that looks like to the outside world. If you are functioning well and feeling good, then normal doesn’t matter so much. From the way you wrote things, though, it sounds like your emotions are somewhat out of control and too intense in ways that you do not like.

I would share with you one idea that comes to mind from reading lots of posts here about intense emotional outburst… It’s a tricky one and I find it annoying, but also very useful. Identify the triggers. If you can, start to realize what sort of patterns lead up to these intense emotions and maybe you can find a ways to start to calm yourself before your emotions get too intense.

If you haven’t already, starting to take note of any patterns in your emotions could be helpful and important. It may feel like they are chaotic, but if you really start to notice and pay attention, maybe there’s more of a cycle to them or maybe there are certain things that are instigating the anger or the happiness etc.

Lastly, I would just say keep talking to us. You’ll get so many varied opinions, and you deserve to hear lots of ideas. Your personality (and art) is quite exuberant and it is lovely. I would echo @Aspychata and say that it’s been a pleasure to meet you here in the forum.
 
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When I’m under a lot of stress, I find it super hard to control my emotions and can be in extreme states of emotion (some days it’s anger, some days it’s happiness and I feel on top world, and some days I feel normal. When I feel angry, I want to smash a wall or yell at my parents, and other days I just feel like offing myself because I’m a waste of space to my family. I can’t see a therapist because my dad believes therapy is a scam and because my mom’s financial situation isn’t doing too hot. There’s a history of bipolar disorder in my family, but I’ve been told I don’t have it as the symptoms would’ve shown up by now. I also have really bad anxiety that gets worse when I’m under pressure and I feel like I’m gonna pass out.

is this normal? What should I do?
I wish I have been more assertive with my parents when I needed psychiatric help at 20, and my dad told me to see him instead.
This is your right to receive psychiatric help if you need it. If you are a man, this is neglect, if you are an adult I do not see why you should not get psychiatric help. It does not matter what your dad thinks. I believe that parents who do not believe in psychiatric help are psychiatrically damaged themselves.
 
Sometimes yes, but I feel I'm also pretty self-aware so when I feel an episode coming on I have things I do to pull it back before it goes too far.
 
When I felt emotions as a child, my AS mother would just put me in quarantine until I settled down and got quiet. When I began to experience them again as an adult, they seemed like exotic visitors with information to be explored, but dangerous to try to control. I've gotten a bit better at keeping a calm center to observe them from since.
 
Do what i'm doing. Cut yourself off from society and don't come out. That's what's (almost) working for me anyway. Hell, i've been doing this for so long, when i wake up in the morning i'm just numb now. My own household where i'm supposed to feel safe and protected is now nothing short of a mental asylum. It is not something that gets better or changes, except to get worse somehow.

I wish i had advice to give you, friend, but i'm too shattered.
That's what I wish I could do, cut myself from society. But that would mean I'll have to live on benefits and I hate claiming money from the government because I feel like I'm being watched or that I don't really deserve it or something. But since the passing of my mother I feel safer indoors where I can engage in my hobbies and escape this society. Outside is just depressing; more fields and trees are disappearing to build more houses and apartments everywhere (not reserved for people like myself though), drugs seem to be the trend among people moreso nowadays, crime rates have gone up, cost of living has gone up, all the local stores are closing and so it feels there's no sense of community any more, most people in public are judgemental and unfriendly, there are too many cars on the road now, money seems to come first before anything else, and it's all just so depressing. So it's little wonder people want to give up work and hide away in the safety of their homes.
 
When I’m under a lot of stress, I find it super hard to control my emotions and can be in extreme states of emotion (some days it’s anger, some days it’s happiness and I feel on top world, and some days I feel normal. When I feel angry, I want to smash a wall or yell at my parents, and other days I just feel like offing myself because I’m a waste of space to my family. I can’t see a therapist because my dad believes therapy is a scam and because my mom’s financial situation isn’t doing too hot. There’s a history of bipolar disorder in my family, but I’ve been told I don’t have it as the symptoms would’ve shown up by now. I also have really bad anxiety that gets worse when I’m under pressure and I feel like I’m gonna pass out.

is this normal? What should I do?
I am so bad with rage because of my illness and trauma
Mood swings can happen but I can be pretty balanced most of the time
But I am hypersensitive and can struggle with anxiety
When you have trauma shutdowns and meltdowns can get pretty severe
I think it is worse with our nervous systems and trauma dyregulation, it throws everything off wack
 
When I’m under a lot of stress, I find it super hard to control my emotions and can be in extreme states of emotion (some days it’s anger, some days it’s happiness and I feel on top world, and some days I feel normal. When I feel angry, I want to smash a wall or yell at my parents, and other days I just feel like offing myself because I’m a waste of space to my family. I can’t see a therapist because my dad believes therapy is a scam and because my mom’s financial situation isn’t doing too hot. There’s a history of bipolar disorder in my family, but I’ve been told I don’t have it as the symptoms would’ve shown up by now. I also have really bad anxiety that gets worse when I’m under pressure and I feel like I’m gonna pass out.

is this normal? What should I do?

I think it's normal in the sense that you feel extreme pressure and have an extreme response. Not healthy to continue, but normal as in expected.

I once had a support person tell me I had poor emotional control because of my describing similar situations. But, I think that's ridiculous. No one is perfectly poised all the time, and extreme anger/anxiety/whatever because of extreme stress should be expected. It's not like I attack or yell at people. If I had poor control, my life would be very different. What I mean by all that is, be careful not to blame yourself. A lot psychology has us look out ourselves and how we should change our viewpoint, but environments can often be the problem. Sometimes that's what we need to change. (I know in your case your options are limited, though.)

I hope you find what helps you, whether it's therapy, medication, or a new lifestyle.
 

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