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Turned down possible promotion

Misty Avich

I'm just angry
V.I.P Member
I was suggested a possible promotion to being a charge hand at work.
A charge hand is like a supervisor. My boss said I have better people skills than the previous charge hand, but even so I don't think I would cope being in charge of other adults. I get too sensitive with people's moods, and if people don't do as expected a higher up authoritative person would yell at me for it, but I don't like bossing people around. Also due to ADHD I am very disorganized and have trouble prioritizing my thoughts into actions and staying focused on task, even if I have diaries and calendars.
In my experience at work I have noticed that even the most competent of people who get in charge become absent-minded. At first I thought "why do they always take absent-minded people on to be in charge?" but then I figured that I think the duty of being in charge/a supervisor makes people become absent-minded. So it must be a demanding job and me being a bit careless and absent-minded anyway I just don't think I would be very competent for the position.
I'm not really the type of person to think "I want to be the big I Am". I don't like telling people what to do.

Do you think it's for the best that I turned down a possible promotion?
 
<< Edit - I just noticed you've already turned it down. CBA re-writing - please forgive the parts that don't match your question >>

Sounds like an opportunity for a graceful refusal, and a request for a different kind of senior position if/when one comes up..

One possible neutral excuse: tell your boss that you don't think you're suited to the role because you're an incurable "people pleaser", and it's hard for you to give orders to adults.

Work on the framing though.
* Make sure to thank your boss, and say that you appreciate them trusting you enough to make the offer.
* Be supportive of your boss in future (without annoying anyone else of course, especially your immediate colleagues). Trust deserves a certain amount of loyalty, and both can evolve naturally to work both ways.
* Don't share information on any other traits you think aren't ideal for the position.
It's easy to "over-share" these, and accidently make yourself out to be much worse than you are. Nobody's perfect, and it's way too easy to describe yourself compared to perfection rather than normal/average. It's easier and safer to be economical with the facts.

As to why, based on your email, I'm leaning towards your not accepting the promotion:

A "tactical leader" like a charge hand needs to keep track of the entire activity - i.e. more of the work than non-leaders do. Typically the smarter people in a team are better at this, but that doesn't mean they are necessarily effective as leaders.

They also need skills in other areas, including
* Feeling comfortable telling adults what to do. This can be learned, but not necessarily quickly - and some people develop those skills naturally, so they have an edge.
* The ability to quickly and accurately frame verbal instructions. Easier for some people than others. It helps to think verbally; visual is next; and "symbolic thinkers" have to work hard to learn it.
* The ability to keep track of and remember key aspects of the work as a whole, and of the other people's part of it.
Naturally well organized people have a big advantage here. And that helps make up for gaps in their ability to verbally interact in a work-centric way (the second point).
BTW I put this last, but IMO it's the hardest to train up to basic levels. You can get "enough to get by" of the others faster

If you don't have a sufficient amount of each of the necessary skills, you'll overload one way or another.
It sounds like you've seen symptoms of this in previous charge hands.
 
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Many organizations take the approach of offering management positions to those who are technically able at a position.

The issue is that management is often quite different from being in a technical role. One can be great at a technical role but find managing the same to be challenging. Or vice versa.

If one is doing well at a technical role, and ghey're comfortable in that position, as you would appear to be, I would suggest asking about the possibility of being made a senior (technical role) where you continue performing at the position while also being a trainer and/or mentor to newer staff, and perhaps also help with writing or reviewing procedures guides.
 
Do you think it's for the best that I turned down a possible promotion?
Unfortunately in a very general way, I suspect most employers take a very dim view of any employee offered a promotion. And that it's possible that it may impact any future considerations of promotion.

Only time can tell...
 
Middle management, as a job, stinks. You have all the responsibility, take all the blame, and get minimal support (if that - they gave you the job so they could forget that the job is critical but hard), if that.

"Climbing the success ladder" is a silly fad that a lot of people fall for.

Better to decide for yourself what work you will do, how much it takes to have as much as you actually want, and whether the trade off is worthwhile.

These things are your choices - I've turned down promotions, my son-in-law does this on his job yearly... we're all cool with our own choices.

You will be, too!
 
Unfortunately in a very general way, I suspect most employers take a very dim view of any employee offered a promotion. And that it's possible that it may impact any future considerations of promotion.

Only time can tell...
They all like me at work because I do a great job and I'm police and pleasant even after everything I've been through (like my mother dying, etc). I know they like me, and it was only a suggestion. There are plenty of other people they could ask, or employ a new person for the job, but I do feel flattered too.
 
Do you think it's for the best that I turned down a possible promotion?
It seems like you know yourself pretty well and that you could see that your strengths do not match up with the expectations of the new job. It could’ve been tempting to jump at the chance because of a possible pay rise or just the notion that it is always a good thing to be promoted and grow within an organization. But I think you are right to think it through based on what the job would really entail and how that would be taxing to you. I would’ve made the same decision as you.
 
Promotion means salary increase and that's always good, but it's not worth stressing yourself out. That's not healthy. So if you don't feel comfortable with it, then you don't feel comfortable with it.
 
In forty years, I was never offered a promotion, got considered once, got beat out by another long-term employee.
together we both had close to 90 years' experience tough choice. The only thing I every turned down was an offer to chair ASTM subcommittee. Would have been very prestigious for my employer.
 
I think one thing we do that's not helpful is over-analyse our own abilities. I've noticed a lot of NT people have an emotionally driven response to things like this. Sure they wonder if they'll be up to the job, but they also have things like "I like the idea, I deserve this, I can see myself as a manager, this is my reward" or similar. They spend a lot of time focused on how the idea makes them feel, so things like pride get puffed up and obscure the concerns, and they take the role. NDs, on the other hands, can be very focused on a pragmatic assessment of their skills and find they don't fit the profile of the ideal role holder.

I've had this many times, where I don't put my hand up for something because I don't believe I fully fit the required profile. But when I see the person who ends up with the role they're usually a lot less competent than I am, and yet everyone seems to find they are great. It's frustrating.

I think we need to have more faith in our ability to learn and adapt. I think we can tend to de-risk the future too much - for me that's to avoid overwhelming negative emotion. We also need to actively challenge black/white thinking. Even if it doesn't work out, it won't be that terrible. Finally, we need to value ourselves as much as NTs do. Sure we don't have the same capabilities they do, but we have additional ones they don't. We might not fit the typical profile and find ourselves lacking, but perhaps an untypical profile might do better.
 
They all like me at work because I do a great job and I'm polite and pleasant even after everything I've been through (like my mother dying, etc). I know they like me, and it was only a suggestion. There are plenty of other people they could ask, or employ a new person for the job, but I do feel flattered too.

That's your perception. But behind closed doors, it is theirs as well?

Taking things at face-value in the workplace can be precarious, depending on the employer. Also understand that how people see you may change depending on turnover in management. Where newer people who don't know you may not appreciate you quite the same as their predecessors.

Like I said. "Time will tell...". Watch your six.

I speak of such things not from the perspective of nebulous cynicism, but rather the experience of many years in the corporate world.
 
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I was suggested a possible promotion to being a charge hand at work.
A charge hand is like a supervisor. My boss said I have better people skills than the previous charge hand, but even so I don't think I would cope being in charge of other adults. I get too sensitive with people's moods, and if people don't do as expected a higher up authoritative person would yell at me for it, but I don't like bossing people around. Also due to ADHD I am very disorganized and have trouble prioritizing my thoughts into actions and staying focused on task, even if I have diaries and calendars.
I think that sort of job, for ppl on the spectrum, who also have executive dysfunction is a recipe for disaster.
I am speaking from experience here. :cool:
 
I think that sort of job, for ppl on the spectrum, who also have executive dysfunction is a recipe for disaster.
I am speaking from experience here. :cool:
My experience is that they expect you to take on all the managerial responsibility while still doing your original job as well. And the lousy few extra dollars they give you for it simply isn't worth it. If they are genuinely offering promotion make sure to ask about the job specifications before accepting.
 
I was suggested a possible promotion to being a charge hand at work.
A charge hand is like a supervisor. My boss said I have better people skills than the previous charge hand, but even so I don't think I would cope being in charge of other adults. I get too sensitive with people's moods, and if people don't do as expected a higher up authoritative person would yell at me for it, but I don't like bossing people around. Also due to ADHD I am very disorganized and have trouble prioritizing my thoughts into actions and staying focused on task, even if I have diaries and calendars.
In my experience at work I have noticed that even the most competent of people who get in charge become absent-minded. At first I thought "why do they always take absent-minded people on to be in charge?" but then I figured that I think the duty of being in charge/a supervisor makes people become absent-minded. So it must be a demanding job and me being a bit careless and absent-minded anyway I just don't think I would be very competent for the position.
I'm not really the type of person to think "I want to be the big I Am". I don't like telling people what to do.

Do you think it's for the best that I turned down a possible promotion?
I don't know your situation, but I think it's worth at least trying, then you can see what it's like.

Don't think managers are perfect people. In fact, I am mostly a manager type, on a workplace skills test, and I'm a quiet and reserved person which only speaks when they truly have something to say.

They are saying that the classical outspoken person is not always the best fit for this job. Ruling with an iron fist is not proper management either. That is why to be kind and understanding is required. So I think this job would fit your description more than other people, and I'm pretty sure they had good reason to offer it to you.

You have shown good character and manager skills. So that's great for an autistic person that they can actually see that. And like you specified, managers have the highest empathy in a workplace, and they require partners who are sensitive.

You can change the absentmindedness of the leadership. Be that non absent minded leader. Create the environment that requires for you and ask for support.

This is a good change in workplaces, so I'm glad to see it actually happen for a change rather than in theory.
 
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Having been in a supervisory position, I did not like it, feeling responsible for my direct reports as well as representing management. I was happy in my technical work and contributed so significantly that I could write my own ticket for projects to support.
 

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