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Transgender? Gender-fluid? Agender?(funny)

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Tcx, Apr 7, 2020.

  1. Tcx

    Tcx Beginner.

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    Hi!
    Not sure if this belongs here but I'm too afraid(annoyed, lazy) to post this on LGBT forums. I prefer this forum. Also looking for similar experience. I consider these incidents very funny. Hope you can smile as well.

    So the incidents are like this:
    humans: me, my mother, my sister, my therapist, shopkeepers, my gaming buds(or, not and, command-wise)
    location: everywhere
    frequency: almost once every 1 or 2 weeks(on average 7-14 days per calling, counted within 30 days, not 100% accurate)
    Dialogues:
    When chatting and I say something, it would be followed up by other people(my mother, my sister or my therapist and so on):
    >I: "me saying something"
    >They: "Com'on, sir"/"Mr., can you blablabla"/"Bro blablabla"
    >They: "sorry I mean lad"/"sorry Ms."/"I mean sis"(1)
    >They: "well actually you sound more like a robot"(2)
    Option(1)and(2)can be both presented in the same period of chatting.

    Today is the first time being called a guy again for this week and the second time being called a guy in April.
    Maybe because I'm into data collecting(special interest?) so I'm sensitive to repetitive sentences. I have this tendency to count the frequency. Today I told another person(my mother):"you already said that(called me a sir) twice this month" and she replied me with"you sound more like a robot" which(robot) has been mentioned at least 3 times this month. Very funny. This week is at the peak of the data chart-2 times mentioned within 7 days!

    I'm 23 almost 24 years old, 5'5 not with flat breasts who doesn't look like a guy. My current interest is Excel(still working on pre-VBA) which shouldn't be a general guy's interest. I dress normal(I consider as) clothes. I play Maplestory which is a game that equally has mainly both sexes(XX and XY). I don't look like a male(as far as I know). My voice isn't deep. Just plain. I come to a conclusion that I give others an impression of males. Especially in games, people would insist that I were a male when I told them I am a female. Even after voice chatting, they would forget that I am a female and kept saying 'he' which is very funny. This happens everyday.

    I mentioned this to a friend of mine and she told me that I might be transgender. I did some google and I doubt it. I don't hate my body. I don't have the urge to be a man. And about gender-fluid, I have some idea about both genders but I won't even want to stick to one or change from one to another one. For agender, I somehow know what genders are but I don't give a damned. Yet it's really funny. I laugh every time someone apologizes to me. The acting of them apologizing to me is really funny. Queer? But I don't have much insistence on being 'special?' Maybe I misinterpret any of the label. I'll apologize in advance.

    Imagine a shopkeeper you don't know talking to you and end up with the opposite gender of your born sex like: "goobye sir(in my case)" and follow up by: "I'm sorry ms." It's even funnier when your biological parent/siblings call you such. I almost want to ask my mother if she wants a son or not.

    Have you ever experienced that in before as well? If so, how was it? How do you feel? Is it funny? And, how should I interpret these incidents? Do I need to take any action? Like trying to wear a dress and counting the frequency they call me a sir each week/month again?
    Any comments are appreciated! Hope you all have a nice day!

    April 7th Tcx
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 7, 2020
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  2. Wolfgangus Faldestolius

    Wolfgangus Faldestolius Little notes from an armchair

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    You have to not reject the thesis that what others state are a "gender identity" should be placed lower in the conceptual pecking order than factually being you.

    Thus I was accepted by girls as nigh on one of them (in the outer echelon) because I didn't threaten them. I don't know how I didn't threaten them. I also liked and like ladies (that technically "looked" feminine) that are not stereotyping themselves so much as to not be one of the blokes (rather loosely) - but I have an awful wide picture of what men & women look like.

    I learned that some languages don't have a separate pronoun for he & she, and Egypt had female kings. Some doctors are women, some sea captains.

    Consider yourself as honorary doctor in the school of life - your own captain on this ocean!

    Comically my mum would forget all our names and call us all by the whole string of names of my siblings and I and her sister, all reeled rapidly off in one breath!
     
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  3. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Well apparently there are proportionally more trans/non-binary people who are on the autistic spectrum than the proportion of NTs who are trans or non-binary. However, I think part of the issue is about our general way of not noticing / not being influenced by social norms. We don't notice or don't care that pink is for girls and blue is for boys, or if we do we don't think anyone can really mean it because there's no reason for it and it's silly. Ditto, many many other norms, including gender norms.

    Our brains are different. We don't notice or don't see the point of these norms, but to NTs they are more significant and sometimes meaningful. Personally I have no problem seeing that there's potentially a lot of genders, including more mentally driven or spiritual genders, and or that gender isn't relevant to many areas where it is customarily invoked. So what? Is my main approach to gender.

    However, the majority tends to think otherwise. I guess we have to live with that reality, and it may be why your family and others react the way they do. It's not about you, it's about gender norms, people feel uncomfortable if they can't place you into one of two categories. This is usually done via norms of speech and appearance. Sometimes you seem to come over with more masculine norms, from their perspective, and so they can't tie down who you are, genderwise. Whereas you are not trying to say anything about gender with how you come over, probably, from what you describe.
     
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  4. Darwin

    Darwin Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Your writing style is a bit formal (which I respect). Maybe it’s because of that? Females tend to be less formal and serious, and more concerned with expressing their feelings. Maybe that’s why. I had similar experiences but that was before puberty (before my voice became deep). Almost all the time then, when I answered the phone, people would think I was a girl.
    Same thing happened and still happens to me on online games, too. Many, mistakenly, think I am a girl even though we only chat.

    It’s not annoying to me, though. And I don’t consider myself transgender or gay. I like being a unique person. Me being very emotionally sensitive actually helps me a lot when interacting with people. I can tell when someone is lying or hiding something. I am very good at interpreting body language, something that most males are bad at.
     
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  5. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    To be clear the only reason you think you might be trans is because other people keep mistaking you for a man? Sorry if I misunderstood what you were saying, but that's not how being trans or gender fluid works.

    I've been mistaken for a man on several occasions because I have short hair and some people have rubbish eyesight. I don't care because I'm not insecure about my appearance or gender.
     
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  6. Tcx

    Tcx Beginner.

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    sup!
    Because:
    1)I don't hate my body.
    2)I don't have the urge to be a man.
    Thus:
    1)I don't consider myself as a transgender.
    2)The phrase 'transgender' was delivered to my brain by a friend of mine who suggest it. And I went to LGBT Wiki page searched for more info and found out there are so many genders. In my country I often/only hear about LGB, not even TQIA(I don't know if I misspell it or not.)
    3)I basically have no idea about the whole identity(?) stuff.
    4)I came to the forum and ask for more information, maybe guides.

    Glad to hear what you said! I think you're a strong person!
     
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  7. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    Sorry I am still confused why you think you might be anything other than a cis woman.
     
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  8. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Just ask people why they called you that, say you are curious, you want to understand their perception.
    Sometimes in life- ask why, it can solve 85% of questions we have. Sometimes l am so surprised to hear the answer, like l was totally off base.
    Hey- you just called me (this). Did l do or say something that made you think that way?
     
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  9. Tcx

    Tcx Beginner.

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    Hello again!
    Short answer: I don't fit what I think of as a woman's image. I don't fit a man's as well. Therefore I don't think of myself as a cis woman.
    Long answer: I just googled what cis mean and I think I can give you a properer answer now.
    1) I'm Asian. LGBTQIA info is rare here.
    2) I was usually a top student in schools despite dropping out of university(medicine) due to mental breakdowns.
    3) I have weird interests in weird stuff which were uncommon among the same age peeps (both male/female).
    4) I was somehow into entrance exam(high school and freshman for uni level.) My collection of textbooks is over 100+. Well...I'm still into it but I'm trying to convert them into digital forms. It's my current project. I can show you picture of my collection if you want!
    >>5) As a result of 1-4, my parents were happy that I didn't develop any above-friendship relationships. Actually, I doubted I had friends outside my gaming circle(all males.)
    6) Things like self-image or identity wasn't well-known in my country or it can be I was too focus on what I enjoyed and dismissed all the other information gathering. Both ways are possible.
    7) I still have contact with my highschool friends(?) and some from the university I dropped out . A bunch of female humans I sorta know. Every time we had a gathering, I couldn't join their conversation. I'm not interested in any of their topics as well. They alienated me. But it's okay since I don't understand what they said as well haha.
    8)I'm not into cosmetics, clothes, fancy foods, shopping, shiny decorations, novels, mangas, dramas, movies, yoga, streams. These were something they liked.
    Also, I'm not into cars, models, DIY, sports, almost all games except maplestory, belt, watch, movies, chatting(except information exchange/gathering like this!) These are my male friends like.
    >>9)combine 6-8, I get a result: I'm not accepted by either female or males, spiritually speaking.
    >>>10)combine 5 and 9: I might not be a cis woman. The possibility is relatively high from my semi-analysis.
    Hope you can understand my situation more! Have a nice day!
     
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  10. Tcx

    Tcx Beginner.

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    Hello! Will do next time! Thank you very much! Didn't think of that before.
     
  11. Wolfgangus Faldestolius

    Wolfgangus Faldestolius Little notes from an armchair

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    When people call you what they call you, you should instruct them nicely but firmly, to say "Aye Aye Cap'n"!
     
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  12. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Is Gender Fluid like White Out, but for genders?

    ;)
     
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  13. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    What I'll say is, gender stuff can be.... confusing. Well, confuses the heck outta me anyway.

    I'm male, technically. About as masculine as a flower though. I've been mistaken for a girl at random intervals. Usually, I dont have too much response to this. My perception of my own gender identity is... well, yeah, confused. Fluid? I dont know. But I sure as heck dont fit into the usual idea for a male, and I really dont want to. Even though society says I'm supposed to. Society can go jump in a pit full of sharks though.

    Honestly I dont know how to feel half the time. It's all confusing. And of course there's so much encouragement NOT to express any of it, eh? I'm very into cosplay, have been for a long time, and I think that's pretty much why: because when at one of those conventions, I can wear whatever bloody thing I want. So I'd get costumes just like any other cosplayer, except that the characters I did were mostly female. Heck, one outfit was this backless thing with a miniskirt (I needed a whole lot of caffeine for that one). In all the years of doing that I dont think I ever got even one negative comment or response about it, regardless of which character I was doing. People all seemed to like it (even if I'd then watch someone else doing something similar, yet getting bashed for it). I tell ya, this actually just increased the confusion. Reactions by immediate friends to some of these just made it even more confusing. I'll just say, I didnt receive any expressions of disapproval. Or surprise.

    So yeah, that's where I stand on that, definitely a bit lost on the whole thing. I find myself quite frustrated by it, really.

    As for humorous incidents, there was one that lasted for some time. There's a gas station I frequent near here. Every day (well, not during this virus thing) I'd go over there to get my fountain drink. Or as I call it, my sanity drink (caffeine, you see). At one point during winter this new cashier guy started working there. Friendly enough, but....

    Well, you know how sometimes it's REALLY obvious when someone is hitting on someone, or trying to flirt? Yeah. It was like that. Godzilla would do a better job at hiding behind a small bush, than this guy did at hiding that fact.

    Now, when I'm out and about, I normally dont speak unless I have to. So, all of my interactions at that place can usually be accomplished via simple nods or me pointing at something. No vocals, then. Despite the lack of talking over a long period, the guy was CLEARLY still interested.

    Well, until the day when I needed to refill the car. See, normally I refill at the OTHER gas station, the one with the lot that isnt designed by deranged maniacs. But on that day, I'm pretty sure there was ice around, preventing me from really going too far... so that gas station it was. Which meant having to pre-pay, which meant going inside and mentioning which pump I was at.

    Same guy there. I told him the pump number. That was the only thing I said. Boy you shoulda seen his face, upon me finally speaking for the first time. He clearly realized that what he thought was the case, really wasnt the case. I'm trying really, *really* hard not to laugh at that, and barely make it out of the station without giggling.

    And after that point, he was always waaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy more subdued whenever I came to the counter. He doesnt work there anymore (I swear that place goes through employees REAL fast) but still, it never stopped being funny.



    Oh, and as for the bit about people thinking you're male when you're gaming online: I can tell you why that is. Very simply put, it's because there's this constant assumption that females do not play video games. And thus, if someone is saying they are female in the gaming community, 95% wont believe that. "It's just some dude in his basement pretending to be a chick", I see lines like THAT alot. Entirely regardless of how she acts, what she says, or what her personality is. And yeah, sometimes even voice chat doesnt clear this up. No, I dont know why. But as a life-long gamer, I've watched this one happen OFTEN.

    This, despite that there are ALOT of girl gamers nowadays... it sure aint just Maplestory.

    The internet can be a deeply idiotic place sometimes. But what else is new?



    There, I'm done rambling. Maybe.
     
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  14. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

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    I've had this experience since around age 20.
    Many times I've had people call me sir. Like out shopping and a salesperson says, "can I help you, sir?"
    I've had several jobs where I used my van to make deliveries - florist, magazines to convenience stores,
    pharmaceuticals to nursing homes, etc.
    Lots of "thank you, sir." And more "can I help you, sir?"
    I usually had my hair in a pony tail and sometimes a baseball cap on. Gender neutral clothes.
    I do have a rather deep voice and have been mistake for a guy many times on the phone.
    It never bothered me and the look on their face was rather amusing when upon further speaking or
    a closer look, they realize the mistake.
    I always act as if nothing was wrong. Like it didn't even happen.
    I could always dress up nice and be called pretty as a girl/woman.
    But, dressing up isn't a way of life for me.

    It doesn't happen as much now that I am older and heavier. Maybe a little more curvy makes a difference?
    Still fool people on the phone though asking if I'm Mr....?
    I've played the game with a few solicitors through the convo. Making them think I'm a Mr.

    I don't know what the politically correct term for how I feel about my gender is except I just call
    it neutral. If it weren't for seeing my own anatomy, I wouldn't feel really anything.
    Also being romantic-asexual probably makes it seem indifferent to me.

    As far as socially fitting one gender or the other, I don't find I have things to talk about in common with
    most women. More so with guys. A lot of them are into cars as an interest and I'm not.
    But, other interests more so.

    As far as I'm concerned people could be all sexless and it wouldn't bother me.
    I just don't identify and don't care.
     
  15. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝

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    Before she developed, one of my daughters was constantly being mistaken for a boy. She was even ran out of the women's pool locker room until my wife vouched for her.

    She is now married and has two kids.

    Once while visiting her older sister in her college dorm, she noticed older sis' photos on the wall.

    Younger: Your girlfriend is pretty. Who is she?
    Older: (surprised) That's you...!

    Younger was being serious and (apparently) face-blind. Other traits make me (& others) suspect that she is ASD1, but she rejects that possibility.