Tone of Voice

[Jane082]

Hello,

I have been told my soon to be 13 year old son may have high functioning Aspergers. I definitely have noticed noise sensitivity. Most recently, he complains when I talk to our pets “like a baby.” I tell him that’s just how people talk to animals, especially pets. He seems really stressed out about it. He will be in a different room and hear me talking to them and then I hear him complain and sometimes slam the door.

Why is he so bothered by this and what should I do about it?

 

[unperson]

Not understanding flexibility in voice tone can be very useful and appropriate?

 

[Tom]

People, any people, can easily become annoyed by little things. That is normal. It's good for him to learn that he can't control such things and has to figure out other ways to deal with it peaceably. Ear plugs, headphones, moving to a different area, etc. On your part it might be good to also make an effort to not use that tone of voice if you notice he is in earshot. Meeting halway, making effort on both sides is I think a good approach with those close to you. But he has to learn he will not be able to expect that from strangers and the random events of life.

Just as a side note. I approach animals differently. I speak to them mostly like they are people, with occasional exchanges with me trying to mimic their language. I do not think mine is a good approach if you are doing serious training however. That seems to require set commands and consistant usage. But I guess that communication with animals, much like with people is to a large degree communicated by body language, tone, what you are emoting, etc.

 

[Ezra]

13 year olds get annoyed by a great many trivial things.

 

[Misery]

13 year olds get annoyed by a great many trivial things.

Yeah, pretty much.

And generally, they're going to have to learn to bloody well deal with it, regardless of being on the spectrum or not. It's just part of growing up.

 

[Giraffes]

As suggested he finds this and probably loads more annoying, his teenage brain and Autism will contribute to this, i find certain pitch, intonation and accents interesting and mimic them perfectly a gift for a impressionist a pain if you do it to your boss and they think you're taking the p***

 

[Aspychata]

The world revolves around them at this age. As they mature, then they start to see outside of themself.

 

[Trophonius]

He's just 13.

Interestingly enough, it's fairly common that men develop some autistic traits during adolescence, and these disappear later into adulthood; this does not occur in women. More on this topic can be read in the books The Female Brain and The Male Brain by Dr. Brizendine.

 

[SusanLR]

And maybe he thinks talking to animals is just illogical.

...and why do humans talk to animals like babies?
Or is it humans talk to babies like animals? Fascinating.

 

[Jumpback]

Possibly, in just being 13, he finds mom to be embarrassing or something along these lines, and he is not verbal enough to explain more thoroughly.

For me, finally figuring out I have the ability to be funny was a huge help. Figuring out how to make light of something without being mean or accusatory solved a lot of social issues I had before. But this took a long time to develop