To mask or to embrace your autism...

[Aspie_With_Attitude]

A couple of weeks ago I had uploaded a new video explaining how difficult it can be masking our autism since I explained in this video that masking our autism does cause stress on our well being.

I love embracing my autism since it is all part of who I am, it's easier to let loose like a dog of it's own leash.

Do you mask or embrace your autism?

 

[Wolfnox]

Both. In public mask at home let loose.

 

[Misery]

I just cant be bothered with any of that masking stuff. Too much effort, dont care enough.

 

[OrangeSquash]

I mask when in my professional capacity, but i'm sure some people suspect. When i'm at home I am just me. Masking is exhausting - takes so much effort.

 

[Ronin82]

I still mask to a certain extent, especially at work, but lately I've been dropping the mask much more often. Takes less out of me to just be myself, and the people I'm around all know I'm autistic, so they don't care so much when I do something non-typical. Its a lot easier to just be me.

 

[Pats]

Over 60 years of masking, I don't know how to be myself around others. It IS draining so I spend way more time alone these days and enjoy it.

 

[clg114]

For the most part ,I embrace my autism. I like being a Aspie. I just would not be me if I wasn't autistic. It allows me to do things that others can not do. The only masking I do is with my customers. For example, I have found that if I do not look them in the eyes, they tend to think that I am not listening to them. So when I am talking with a customer, I make sure that I make eye contact.

 

[Apleba]

Mask, except with the selected people, which are not many. If I have a couple of drinks, I sometimes want to act more the way I am and tell people why I am acting the way I am acting, but I never do. The angry voice of masking doesn't allow me to, because masking if familiar and safe, and telling people that I'm autistic is uncomfortable and strange, and I don't know the consequences of that. I wish it could be different, because I sometimes feel as if it was unfair.

Related to that, my boyfriend is acquainted to another autistic person. Apparently that person just told that immediately, even though it was just a short term acquaintance. I asked my boyfriend (NT) why does he think I cannot do that. He said that is because I am an introvert, and that person was clearly an extrovert. Possible?

 

[BrokenBoy]

I mask.

 

[Judge]

It would seem that the real deciding factor in this equation remains those people who are in your immediate social orbit, and in real-time. Divided into those three decisive categories:

1) Those who want to understand and succeed.
2) Those who want to understand and fail.
3) Those who don't bother and expect or demand you unconditionally conform to the social majority.

Where the vast majority unfortunately falls under the third category. Leaving the ultimate question of whether or not dropping your mask has immediate and lasting consequences. I don't mask 100% of the time like I used to, but I still keenly understand the purpose of masking relative to my own social survival.

So I don't believe there is one absolute answer for all people on the spectrum. That each of us must individually assess our social environments, and often in real time to determine whether masking is our best option.

 

[Tom]

I read once something like 'it is better to don fearsome masks and scare your enemy away then have to fight them'. Maybe Sun Tzu.

I think masking is done for more reasons then hiding autism and done by NTs also to a large degree.

I guess my point is one can embrace their autism and still mask at times.

 

[Judge]

I think masking is done for more reasons then hiding autism and done by NTs also to a large degree.

I guess my point is one can embrace their autism and still mask at times.

Agreed. Stands to reason.

That there are times when it's simply pragmatic to do so, regardless of neurological considerations. Survival instincts aren't exclusive to any one group of humanity.

 

[Thinx]

I am not sure if I mask or if I just learned how to be and just do it? I think I learned how to be, and although some of it wasn't natural to me I performed it because it seemed required, at a level basic enough to go unquestioned by me.

I'm not sure fully how I would be had this not happened, but I am more aware than I was of areas where the way I am doesn't fit with the way I learned to be, and some of this has led to changes. Socialisation teaches us how to be a designated gender, how to be an ethnicity, how to fit in the groups we're born part of, or designated as part of, and most people learn a version of how to be neurotypical.

Most of us were (or are ) assumed to be neurotypical, and it defines how all should be, with other types of neuro functioning being defined as dysfunctional. Hard to say now, at 61, what's me, what's a mask. Mostly no one knows what I mean if I try to refer to any aspects of my neuro difference, so I m not so much masking as hiding in plain sight, as someone here has named themselves.

 

[Rectify]

I think masking is done for more reasons then hiding autism and done by NTs also to a large degree.

Ah yes, the work/professional version of themselves. The side they show when visiting their parents. The knockabout version that comes out when with close friends.

 

[SusanLR]

I soon learned to mask when in school. Not at home.
There I could be me and not think anything of it and was accepted.
Then there came the masking for my professional self. But, still not at home.
That's a big part of the reason I was so comfortable living at home.
Living with anyone else I felt the need to mask. Found that out from just
visiting relatives or relatives staying with us.
I couldn't wait for them to leave.
It was such a strain I would usually have a meltdown as soon as they were gone.

Now living with someone else I feel I must mask all the time.
Very tiring. The only time I can be me is alone time like when I can get away from
people and be to myself out in nature away from people.
Life has suddenly become uncomfortable without my own home.

 

[Progster]

I'm self-employed and need to mask it when dealing with clients or in public. At home, no need to mask.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

I'm self-employed and need to mask it when dealing with clients or in public. At home, no need to mask.

I'm currently trying to find a job, but I don't see why I would need to mask my Autism while working.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

I don't think I'd want to mask.

 

[Misery]

I'm currently trying to find a job, but I don't see why I would need to mask my Autism while working.

Mostly it's because of the damage it can do if you dont. Workers can and will get in trouble if they seem to act "weird" or different or unprofessional. Most companies care about looking good and saving face above all else (or extreme efficiency and professionalism, for those that dont work with the public), and anything that an employer thinks goes against those ideas can be trouble. It's why you see people getting yelled at or even fired for things like having unusual hair or stuff like that. Technically those things have nothing at all to do with their ability to do the job, but it's not "normal" so the employer doesnt like it, doesnt want it around, and will get rid of said person if they want to.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Mostly it's because of the damage it can do if you dont. Workers can and will get in trouble if they seem to act "weird" or different or unprofessional. Most companies care about looking good and saving face above all else (or extreme efficiency and professionalism, for those that dont work with the public), and anything that an employer thinks goes against those ideas can be trouble. It's why you see people getting yelled at or even fired for things like having unusual hair or stuff like that. Technically those things have nothing at all to do with their ability to do the job, but it's not "normal" so the employer doesnt like it, doesnt want it around, and will get rid of said person if they want to.

I hope I get a job even though I have slightly longer-than-normal hair for a dude to have.