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Tired Of Being Stereotyped

KevinMao133

Well-Known Member
Tired of it

No matter what I do, people always like to say I’m unattractive and put labels on me

Took me a while to admit things but it does bother me

Women don’t care about me, and I don’t even know what to do

So anyways I might not overcome this issue
 

Calrid

Member
First, why do you care if people find you unattractive? Not many people like anyone "normal" or x. Why does it bother you, it's just human nature, you might as well be bothered by the sun rising in the morning. Women care a lot about a lot of things, if they are not caring about you it's because of the first two comments you made. or something else I don't know women are crazy in general. So anyway overcoming an issue that is not really an issue is nothing to overcome. You're just being human. Like everyone else.
 

Fino

Alex
V.I.P Member
That's odd that people would continually say you're unattractive. Is it the same few people every time?
 

Suzanne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Generally, if someone passed comments about another's looks, it is because that person has made a derisive comment about the other person's features and so, if that is not the case with you, then, they are the weird ones to even say that to you.

I have had it said to me in my childhood that I am so ugly, I will be alone for the rest of my life. I have often wanted to get in touch and say: actually, I am married hahahha

It is cruel to say that to anyone.
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
I suffered from feeling horrible about myself also due to my mother's neglect. I think as a female or male, we all have a our types that we find highly attractive. So I think you might be somebody's type even though you think you aren't attractive. I love men that look like they walked right out of a European postcard. I know a guy that looks very European. He becomes very upset when l compliment him so l struggle with this at times. So just be yourself. Maybe work on yourself stylewise to feel better about yourself. Grab some attention getting glasses. Wear signature sneakers or loafers. Get a man bracelet or a shaven head. Do something that makes you stand out and increases your confidence. Get a interesting tattoo. Create an authentic you so that woman notice and come up to talk to you. Kinda of like creating your persona. It may take a little while to come out of your shell, and feel like you own it but it can accomplished. Some woman will help you at stores if you ask them. If you see a woman, and you like her style, and you are at the store, say hey do you thinks this shirt is flattering? Do these boots create interest?

I have said this before. A heavily tattooed man with a shaven head, and scars, and a menacing scowl, walking a fou fou white fluffy poodle, will have woman coming up to talk to him about his dog.
 

Leo Zed

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Also, I believe that there is more to attraction than just physical appearance. Someone once told me that she was sapiosexual. She told me that meant that she was attracted to people who are intelligent. She informed me that there are other forms of attraction as well. For example, someone who is demisexual becomes attracted to another when an emotional bond has been established.

I found that to be true in my case. I became friends with a woman, and I soon established a connection with her. I then became very attracted to her. After some time, she told me that she would never be able to get into a relationship because she was too unattractive. I tried to explain to her that that was not true. I tried to express my feelings to her, but, unfortunately, I failed. She was very adamant about the way she felt about herself.

To make a long story short, don’t give in because a certain segment of our population likes to stereotype others. Chances are that such people may have their own insecurities. Anyways, keep putting yourself out there to meet women. Probability dictates that the more you interact with women, the more likely you will get into a relationship.

That’s what I’m doing. I started working again not too long, and I found myself isolated and sad as usual. Now, I just say hello to everyone I walk pass by. I am starting to become acquainted with a few people. I am starting to see myself making friends. And who knows? Maybe I will get into a relationship. It is the only logical thing I can think of to get into a relationship. Just forget about other people’s labeling you. If you fall, then get up again and keep going forward.
 

Matthias

Well-Known Member
Tired of it

No matter what I do, people always like to say I’m unattractive and put labels on me

Took me a while to admit things but it does bother me

Women don’t care about me, and I don’t even know what to do

So anyways I might not overcome this issue

It's human nature to form opinions about people and those opinions that you call labels or stereotypes are usually correct.

different people. at this point I don’t care anymore, I just let them say whatever they want. I’m already tuned out by now

Burying your head in the sand/avoiding your problems will guarantee they won't go away. The proper response to being told you have a problem (such as being unattractive) is self-reflection (examining yourself to see what qualities make you less attractive), asking for more information (Why do you think I'm unattractive?), and then making the effort to become a better person (such as exercising or going on a diet). If you're unwilling to grow up and deal with your problems, you will continue to be left behind.
 

Slim Jim

has glasses,shirt,hair, just need jim charisma now
Also, I believe that there is more to attraction than just physical appearance.
It's a chemical in the body. You can be attracted to anything really. Inanimate objects. hence: paraphilias of all kinds.
Someone once told me that she was sapiosexual. She told me that meant that she was attracted to people who are intelligent.
I am attracted to intelligence, but mostly, I'm attracted to a shapely body and a pretty face. That helps too. :D
 

Leo Zed

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
…but mostly, I'm attracted to a shapely body and a pretty face. That helps too. :D
I won’t deny that. That attraction happens only moments after those photons hit your retina - almost instantaneously. The other forms of attraction involves more time, that is, the time it takes to know someone. Anyways, the point that I was trying to make was that other factors can alter one’s attraction to another person.
 

Slim Jim

has glasses,shirt,hair, just need jim charisma now
It's a very complex thing. Neuroscientists have their work cut out for them. Understanding what makes a person be attracted and feel aroused to another person. To me, First comes interest, then comes Lust, then MAYBE out of that evolves love. But what do I know. When I develop emotions in this area, it turn my rational brain to mush.
 

Gerald Wilgus

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Kevin. I can't remember you discussing any lead up to this. As you may know, I did not think that I was either attractive or desirable, but those were lies I told myself through my inner dialogue. I eventually rewrote those dialogues and managed to mature socially.

What are you doing to put yourself out to women? You can't just hang back and have somebody present themselves. Are you cultivating your interests to become an interesting person? Do you like yourself? How are you engaging socially? Are you meeting the right people, the accepting ones?

Attraction is many faceted. I was always attracted to the intelligent ones, those with humanist values, accepting of differences, who enjoys the world, and those who have a life of their own, independent of their parents. With my future spouse we were friends first before we became intimate. It was the culmination of events because I thought her attractive in many different ways.
 

Thinx

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Lots of helpful ideas here in responses to you. You seem to be working hard to understand yourself and others. Don't be discouraged. Attractiveness is a lot about how you behave, how you speak to others, being interesting, funny or kind all contribute. Look around next time you are in a supermarket queue. Many or most of us are not what you may think of as stereotypically attractive. I'm certainly not, but if I smile a bit and use humour and joke a bit, and show interest in others, that seems enough to make connections. Bet you can do that.
 

Ronald Zeeman

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
You are who your parents, grandparents made you. other then that it's out of your control short of plastic surgery.
 

Stuttermabolur

A psychologist said so
V.I.P Member
Also, I believe that there is more to attraction than just physical appearance. Someone once told me that she was sapiosexual. She told me that meant that she was attracted to people who are intelligent. She informed me that there are other forms of attraction as well. For example, someone who is demisexual becomes attracted to another when an emotional bond has been established.
My ex was both sapiosexual and demisexual, while I am asexual. To tell you the truth, I did not like the fact that she was sapiosexual at all. I don't consider myself particularly smart (at least not compared to her), and so answering questions and bringing knowledge always brought extra baggage with it, as she was less interested in me the dumber she felt I was. I like reading and obtaining knowledge, but don't want it to have pressure or stress associated with it.

I don't care at all about the intelligence of anyone I might go into a relationship with. What mainly matters to me is kindness, and that we can communicate effectively. I have noticed that I tend to connect the most to autistic people (duh) or people with ADHD, perhaps because they tend to be spontaneous, fun and less shy, and thus complement my traits nicely. My ex had ADHD and I am fairly sure my mother and grandmother both have it.
 

Ronald Zeeman

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Your ex gives a whole new meaning to gold digger .I guess you had gold just not enough for your ex. Sucks to be only middle class.
 
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Stuttermabolur

A psychologist said so
V.I.P Member
Your ex gives a whole new meaning to gold digger .I guess you had gold just not enough for your ex. Sucks to be only middle class.
Are you talking about me? I don't really understand how class or gold applies to my comment. I don't think she can really help being sapiosexual, just like I can't help being asexual. Her demisexuality (or my asexuality) might actually have caused more issues in terms of compatability, as it turned out that she has a very high sex drive (though it didn't appear till after a few months), while I was never interested in sex. We are still friends though, and I wish her the best.
 

Ronald Zeeman

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
chasing brains is not much different than chasing a mate for money sounds like a similar situation, probably equally difficult to find.
 

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