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Thinking negative.

Tony Ramirez

Single forever. Friends?
V.I.P Member
Is it normal for people like me to think negative? I was thinking they are having something in the park but walking there it drizzle a bit and I said it is going to rain and they are going to cancel. Of course the event went on and I had a good time.

Or when I use to go to in person groups before the pandemic and I will think no one or just a couple of guys no girls will show and it would be canceled.

Thinking I am not going to make any friends because of the pandemic but I ended up making a few new ones and have a closer friendship with two girls.

Yet I still think negative. I won't have a good time event will be canceled or they won't show up. Then the one time I think positively and the negative thing happens no one shows up and the event was canceled so I go right back of thinking negative so if it turns positive it's okay but if it turns negative it soften the blow.

I got this because when I was younger I had a lot of negative experience some really bad in school growing up and with my cousins which were not nice.
 
I think it is too easy for aspies to fall into the habit of negative thinking. I see a lot of threads and comments on this forum about overthinking the bad consequences of something, either before or after.

Disclaimer: This is my opinion only, and I consider myself to be a mediocre armchair psychologist.
 
Just now my female friend left a positive voice message after dealing with issues. Yet I still can over think all the negative things in my past even though I concord many things I could not even attempt when I was an teenager going through bad times.
 
I guess it's possible for any bad things to happen, but they still might not go how you expect in the end. You might have to miss an important event, and then think about how incredibly unlucky you are for missing it. But then something terrible might happen at that event, and you'll be stunned by how incredibly lucky you were to not be there. You might predict what will happen, but you can't predict how it will affect you or how you'll feel.
 
It's a habit you have to consciously change. Not saying I've accomplished that all that much, but that's what I've learned. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, force yourself to think something positive. The more you do it, the more automatic it should come.
 
Guess you need to see if it benefits you some way. If l figure out the worse case senerio and have planned accordly then l turn positive because l avoided some of the inconvience. Like l know Fridays are horribly busy, so l try to shop beforehand so that l can be nicely parked at home with most of the things l need and avoid shopping on Friday. Because l have negative thoughts of dealing with idiots on Friday in stores.
 
I think negativily, but for me it is a safety harness, because each time, I have felt positive about a situation, it went badly wrong and so, it is safer to think of the negative, rather than the positive.

But, in day to day activities, I am quite positive person ( I was told this fairly recently, which surprised me so much that I looked deeply and thought: ah, maybe I am not that negative then)?
 
For every negative thought you have, the opposite could also be possible.

'It may rain. It may not.'

'The event may be cancelled, it may not'.

I may make a complete fool of myself should I attend,
I may not.
... you see where I'm going with this? :)

If they gave out recognisable qualifications in negative thought patterns, I'd finally be great at something :)

Fear of the unknown and lack of control can encourage negative thinking styles which, over time, can become a default setting.
Until we try a different approach.

I believe the trick is to trust yourself to be okay, whatever happens.

'It may rain, - I'll take my brolly'

'The event may be cancelled, - I'll feel disappointed but can find something else to keep me occupied'
and so on.
 
"Positive thinking" "Think positive" I used to be told a lot as a child by my therapist and speech therapist.
 
"Positive thinking" "Think positive" I used to be told a lot as a child by my therapist and speech therapist.
I was told the same rubbish and it never worked .Of course my Church friends tell me the same thing but there lives seem to be better than mine or under the surface who knows.
 
I proactively think positive and avoid negative thought patterns. I have recognized that negativity can consume me and I have greatly improved my life with positive thoughts, and influences. I often Find it difficult to interact online as there is frequently a great deal of negativity on any given forums. I try to focus on positive posts, threads, or ideas. Not that everything is negative, but I recognize the more negative concepts, ideas, and situations I expose myself to; the more negative my life becomes.
 
I was told the same rubbish and it never worked .Of course my Church friends tell me the same thing but there lives seem to be better than mine or under the surface who knows.

It's easier said than done, but when I feel backed into a corner sometimes (my failed quest for a coffee last night, ahem!), deep breathing... Take a moment, deep breaths for a minute or two, I have found that it actually works well for me
 

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