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Therapy for People on the Spectrum

sisselcakes

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Hi All.

I’m writing to request feedback on your experiences with therapy.

I’m a licensed clinical social worker and worked in direct care for over ten years with a diverse group of clients.

I am considering returning to direct care part time with a focus on working with adults with ASD.

I have spent a lot of time educating myself about ASD and have personal experience from dating someone on the spectrum.

I’ve read that people have had bad experiences with therapists who weren’t knowledgeable about ASD.

I was hoping people could share with me, generally speaking, what characteristics and behaviors by therapists were effective/helpful, and which weren’t?

Thank you. Trying to get some perspective on this.
 
I’ve read that people have had bad experiences with therapists who weren’t knowledgeable about ASD.

The therapist I once had didn't seem to be knowledgeable about much of anything, other than to constantly reiterate the limits of my HMO's mental health coverage. Left me a tad jaded if ya know what I mean. :oops:

Made me feel like I was dealing with a government bureaucrat rather than a healthcare worker. :mad:
 
The only metal health professional that I have ever seen was the one who diagnosed me. I was referred to him by my GP and he made sure that the doctor was very experienced with autism. I believe that this is absolutely vital.
 
I find that with my short attention span and short term memory loss, I don't really need therapy. I simply cover my ears and eyes when stuff gets overwhelming. All that therapy stuff really hasn't helped. And things like DBT or CBT have left traumatizing scars. And group therapy! I'm like a cat in a bathtub, clawing to get out.

I just try to avoid too much stimuli, find a book nook to be alone and cozy, spend time with my family, and try to see the good in others.
 
I have had counselling with my wife, before I was diagnosed.

The counselling was unhelpful to say the least. The counsellor did not pick up on my different responses.
So since you have knowledge of ASD I would suggest getting familiar with alexithymia and theory of mind. many people on the spectrum have alexithymia (to a greater or lesser degree) [and more than the general population]. Theory of mind seems to be an area where folks on the spectrum also struggle.

If you want more clue PM me

At least these are the two areas where I am currently struggling to get my mind round.
 
The people I've seen just proved they had no clue about how I was functionning. I don't remember one time when I left and felt like "oh that was useful!". Never happened. I always left and felt like "how weird people are, let's analyze all this weirdness and the awkward comments and this weird thinking and those strange propositions".

therapy
/ˈθɛrəpi/
noun
noun: therapy; plural noun: therapies
treatment intended to relieve or heal a disorder.

If you intend to relieve or heal anything, I believe you're just mistaking yourself. It won't work. Just my opinion. All you can do is guide, give explanations where the person struggles, and give more knowledge about how YOU function. But there's no healing or relieving anything as far as I'm concerned. I'm very suspicious about someone having no idea how I function nor why I do things the way I do them or about what I need and what's happening, and proposing me therapy. I doubt it can work althrough emotional support might help, but that's all I think. There is no therapy for people on the spectrum, as well as there's no therapy for people being gay or whatever. People with ASD aren't monkeys to try therapies on. They won't work. Emotional support can work, giving explanations on points the person struggles to get about other people's behaviours can work, but I don't believe in a therapy for ASD. It's not psychological. You can help with the comorbities and some precise points of struggle I guess, althrough you'll struggle yourself to understand what it's all about. But it's unlikely you can change anything about autism in a person's brain, that's just how it functions. Any therapist not understanding and accepting that can't, ever, be effective. There's no other program in my brain nor other way to process information. It's way more general than the points you just observe from the outside, and it has nothing to do with just behaviour and behaviour modification, nor with personality. You can find 2 people with ASD having very, different personalities and/or with different manifestions of it. They're all different individuals before all. The more I tried to talk to others and to therapists the more it was obvious they just were clueless about my functionning and where and why I was struggling. I was even proposed to listen to sounds that send me straight to meltdowns at a low level while breathing to make things better, and the person was extremely impatient to check how it was going as if I was a monkey to experiment a stupid therapy on. No, it won't work, my ears hear the same, and no, I'm not paying for that. That's how clueless people are, they just have no idea, honestly.
Also from the stupid advices and comments I have heard, I've been adviced to "accept the moment". I can assure that person that if I didn't accept the moment, I'd be dead. Simple as that. I'm still here, means I do accept the game. That doesn't take away the struggle to deal with the moment. It's insane to tell that to someone, how is it supposed to help, I'm clueless. But at least when I'm clueless, I have no issue admitting it. Something therapists don't seem to be doing.
Now, that's just my point of view and opinion from personal experience. Tons of problems to try to communicate with the therapist, and a therapist having no clue but believing he/she had an understanding (lol) and proposing stuffs that just can't work because it can't be changed. Believing they understand and know better. Talking to a wall is more pleasant and less expansive.
 
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My first therapy session went like this.

Me: Tells psychologist what my problems are AND how they make me feel.

Him: "And how does this make you feel?"

Me: "It makes me feel like walking out that door without paying you."

Which is exactly what I did.

The Second psychologist I saw was only useful in the sense that I had to see him as a screening process for people seeking drugs (which is ludicrous as anyone that wants speed gets it from street sources) before I could see a psychiatrist that could prescribe me the meds I need.

IMHO psychology is nothing more than a tool used to manipulate people.
 
Hi All.

I’m writing to request feedback on your experiences with therapy.

I’m a licensed clinical social worker and worked in direct care for over ten years with a diverse group of clients.

I am considering returning to direct care part time with a focus on working with adults with ASD.

I have spent a lot of time educating myself about ASD and have personal experience from dating someone on the spectrum.

I’ve read that people have had bad experiences with therapists who weren’t knowledgeable about ASD.

I was hoping people could share with me, generally speaking, what characteristics and behaviors by therapists were effective/helpful, and which weren’t?

Thank you. Trying to get some perspective on this.
I've had some bad experiences with therapy. I think OT messed up my life in the long run. but I wasn't diagnosed with ASD at the time so?? Regardless alot of therapists don't have a great understanding of ASD. I want therapists who are accepting of my views and don't try to deny them. Also what type of therapy are you talking about. I general don't like medical professionals who don't explain anything or act like they know me better than I know myself cause they have a fancy degree. My favorite doctors are the ones who make you as educated as possible with what's going on then help you make decisions along with them.

There are several types of therapists. A Vast amount of the mental care workers even psychiatrists who have no excuse. In general you should not deny anything they are telling you. If they say something you should accept that that's how it is. Also don't try and blame it on them or make them feel guilty. That's a horrible thing to do. I've never been that close to my case workers except one, who was kind of sketchy. I haven't interacted with a case worker in quite a few years.
 
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I've had two very bad experiences and gave up, most people don't realise how much harm a bad or unsuitable therapist can do.

I've learned to help myself, there was no other option for me and I occasionally had a helping hand from friends and lovers. So it goes.
 
I would definitely prefer any therapist I work with to be qualified in an area of specialism they propose to offer. Normally I would not think it's enough to say one has educated oneself and dated someone who is typical of the intended client group. A neurosurgeon can't get the job on the basis of private study and dating someone who was having brain surgery. Hopefully.
 
SO many on here have had terrible experiences.

I think some things that made me feel safer were:

1. When I went in if the therapist right off the bat asked how the lights were and the temp. And if moved or wore sunglasses did not blink at all.

2. Allowed me to stand up for the session. Didn't write it in the chart! One did----client stood for whole session AS IF THAT WAS WEIRD. IT WAS NOT WEIRD FOR ME! FIRED!

3. Quit talking about their problems and how much they know or want to learn about autism.

4. Ask about my special interest. OH YEAH. If you want me to talk in full and coherent sentences, ask about my special interest.

5. TREAT SOME PRO BONO. Even when I had Gold plated insurance, I never went to a therapist who did not have sliding scale and pro bono. I did not want to feel like I was in some privileged place when so many autistic people are homeless and in jail and with abusers because therapists can be so greedy.

Funny thing about autistic people. No one gets us but we get one another, like bees in a hive. So it hurts when so many are left to rot
 
Hi All.

I’m writing to request feedback on your experiences with therapy.

I’m a licensed clinical social worker and worked in direct care for over ten years with a diverse group of clients.

I am considering returning to direct care part time with a focus on working with adults with ASD.

I have spent a lot of time educating myself about ASD and have personal experience from dating someone on the spectrum.

I’ve read that people have had bad experiences with therapists who weren’t knowledgeable about ASD.

I was hoping people could share with me, generally speaking, what characteristics and behaviors by therapists were effective/helpful, and which weren’t?

Thank you. Trying to get some perspective on this.
I hope nobody here is offended by my repeating this once again. I had seen at least a dozen psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists and counselors, and not one recognized autism as the core problem, or even present. It was discovered by a job search counselor who set up an evaluation. Since I was diagnosed, I did get some therapy. A typical visit consisted of:
"How is your depression?" "Under control."
"How is your ADHD?" "Not a big problem."
"Fine. Here is a renewal prescription for you ADHD and depression meds. See you in two weeks."
Nothing about autism, and no support for it. You may think you detect a bit of bitterness in some of my comments. Yes, there is bitterness over a wasted life because nobody cared that I was having problems.
 
The therapist I once had didn't seem to be knowledgeable about much of anything, other than to constantly reiterate the limits of my HMO's mental health coverage. Left me a tad jaded if ya know what I mean. :oops:

Made me feel like I was dealing with a government bureaucrat rather than a healthcare worker. :mad:

One thing I find when I go on my own insurance plan and look for providers, they tend to say they "specialize" in almost all the disorders and that's just impossible!
 
The only metal health professional that I have ever seen was the one who diagnosed me. I was referred to him by my GP and he made sure that the doctor was very experienced with autism. I believe that this is absolutely vital.

Thank goodness your first experience was good and you ended up with a knowledgeable professional, and that your PCP was aware enough to refer you!
 
I find that with my short attention span and short term memory loss, I don't really need therapy. I simply cover my ears and eyes when stuff gets overwhelming. All that therapy stuff really hasn't helped. And things like DBT or CBT have left traumatizing scars. And group therapy! I'm like a cat in a bathtub, clawing to get out.

I just try to avoid too much stimuli, find a book nook to be alone and cozy, spend time with my family, and try to see the good in others.

That makes a lot of sense. If you don't mind me asking, what symptoms were they trying to treat? Was it simply getting overwhelmed or did you have depression or anxiety?
 
I have had counselling with my wife, before I was diagnosed.

The counselling was unhelpful to say the least. The counsellor did not pick up on my different responses.
So since you have knowledge of ASD I would suggest getting familiar with alexithymia and theory of mind. many people on the spectrum have alexithymia (to a greater or lesser degree) [and more than the general population]. Theory of mind seems to be an area where folks on the spectrum also struggle.

If you want more clue PM me

At least these are the two areas where I am currently struggling to get my mind round.

Yes, I'm very familiar with the concept of alexithymia. My ex dealt with that, thus I dealt with it as the partner. It's hard for me to wrap my head around. Actually, though, someone on here made a great analogy. He or she said that verbalizing how your are feeling is similar to having a word on the "tip of your tongue."

I'm also familiar with theory of mind which is also challenging for me to understand because I can quickly see another's point of view.

I guess I understand these concepts intellectually, but have a hard time imagining how it would feel.

My ex and I went to therapy. The therapist knew some about Aspergers, but sometimes i noticed he would mess up in how to talked to my ex. Then I would see him get back on track when my ex looked perplexed. LOL
 
The people I've seen just proved they had no clue about how I was functionning. I don't remember one time when I left and felt like "oh that was useful!". Never happened. I always left and felt like "how weird people are, let's analyze all this weirdness and the awkward comments and this weird thinking and those strange propositions".

therapy
/ˈθɛrəpi/
noun
noun: therapy; plural noun: therapies
treatment intended to relieve or heal a disorder.

If you intend to relieve or heal anything, I believe you're just mistaking yourself. It won't work. Just my opinion. All you can do is guide, give explanations where the person struggles, and give more knowledge about how YOU function. But there's no healing or relieving anything as far as I'm concerned. I'm very suspicious about someone having no idea how I function nor why I do things the way I do them or about what I need and what's happening, and proposing me therapy. I doubt it can work althrough emotional support might help, but that's all I think. There is no therapy for people on the spectrum, as well as there's no therapy for people being gay or whatever. People with ASD aren't monkeys to try therapies on. They won't work. Emotional support can work, giving explanations on points the person struggles to get about other people's behaviours can work, but I don't believe in a therapy for ASD. It's not psychological. You can help with the comorbities and some precise points of struggle I guess, althrough you'll struggle yourself to understand what it's all about. But it's unlikely you can change anything about autism in a person's brain, that's just how it functions. Any therapist not understanding and accepting that can't, ever, be effective. There's no other program in my brain nor other way to process information. It's way more general than the points you just observe from the outside, and it has nothing to do with just behaviour and behaviour modification, nor with personality. You can find 2 people with ASD having very, different personalities and/or with different manifestions of it. They're all different individuals before all. The more I tried to talk to others and to therapists the more it was obvious they just were clueless about my functionning and where and why I was struggling. I was even proposed to listen to sounds that send me straight to meltdowns at a low level while breathing to make things better, and the person was extremely impatient to check how it was going as if I was a monkey to experiment a stupid therapy on. No, it won't work, my ears hear the same, and no, I'm not paying for that. That's how clueless people are, they just have no idea, honestly.
Also from the stupid advices and comments I have heard, I've been adviced to "accept the moment". I can assure that person that if I didn't accept the moment, I'd be dead. Simple as that. I'm still here, means I do accept the game. That doesn't take away the struggle to deal with the moment. It's insane to tell that to someone, how is it supposed to help, I'm clueless. But at least when I'm clueless, I have no issue admitting it. Something therapists don't seem to be doing.
Now, that's just my point of view and opinion from personal experience. Tons of problems to try to communicate with the therapist, and a therapist having no clue but believing he/she had an understanding (lol) and proposing stuffs that just can't work because it can't be changed. Believing they understand and know better. Talking to a wall is more pleasant and less expansive.

Your feedback is intriguing to me and helpful. Hope you don't mind me digging in a little more.

RE: "how weird people are, let's analyze all this weirdness and the awkward comments and this weird thinking and those strange propositions". Did you mean that they were thinking that of you or that you walked away thinking they were weird?

RE: "All you can do is guide, give explanations where the person struggles, and give more knowledge about how YOU function. But there's no healing or relieving anything as far as I'm concerned." I should have made it clear that I wasn't talking about healing symptoms/traits of ASD. I meant counseling someone to help with mental health-related anxiety, depression, relationship, and life adjustments. So, I guess that would be supportive in nature- basically what you said about giving guidance. I would want to help someone find their own solutions because only that person really understands how they function.

"Also from the stupid advices and comments I have heard, I've been adviced to "accept the moment". " literally made me laugh outload. I'd be annoyed if someone told me that too! That's kind of basic CBT oriented therapy.

RE: "a therapist having no clue but believing he/she had an understanding (lol) and proposing stuffs that just can't work because it can't be changed." I would never assume I understand someone's experience. I could only try to understand.

Thanks for your response. Good material!
 
My first therapy session went like this.

Me: Tells psychologist what my problems are AND how they make me feel.

Him: "And how does this make you feel?"

Me: "It makes me feel like walking out that door without paying you."

Which is exactly what I did.

The Second psychologist I saw was only useful in the sense that I had to see him as a screening process for people seeking drugs (which is ludicrous as anyone that wants speed gets it from street sources) before I could see a psychiatrist that could prescribe me the meds I need.

IMHO psychology is nothing more than a tool used to manipulate people.

Me: "It makes me feel like walking out that door without paying you." That is hilarious.

Yeah, sadly you had a bad experience. I don't think therapists should work with people on the spectrum unless they have knowledge about it. In my experience, most therapist only have a superficial knowledge of ASD.
 
I've had some bad experiences with therapy. I think OT messed up my life in the long run. but I wasn't diagnosed with ASD at the time so?? Regardless alot of therapists don't have a great understanding of ASD. I want therapists who are accepting of my views and don't try to deny them. Also what type of therapy are you talking about. I general don't like medical professionals who don't explain anything or act like they know me better than I know myself cause they have a fancy degree. My favorite doctors are the ones who make you as educated as possible with what's going on then help you make decisions along with them.

There are several types of therapists. A Vast amount of the mental care workers even psychiatrists who have no excuse. In general you should not deny anything they are telling you. If they say something you should accept that that's how it is. Also don't try and blame it on them or make them feel guilty. That's a horrible thing to do. I've never been that close to my case workers except one, who was kind of sketchy. I haven't interacted with a case worker in quite a few years.


I completely agree that lots of therapist may be familiar with ASD, they really can't related to people on the spectrum. I think I have a pretty good understanding of the traits and challenges from my research and experience with my ex, but I don't think I could ever really understand the experience from the person's perspective. I can only imagine and I found that often I failed to understand my ex's point of view, though I am typically very able to do so with NT's (I guess bc they are like me!)

With an ASD or no ASD client, a therapist should not deny what someone is telling them. My style is to dig deeper to understand what something means to someone and get an idea of their perspective. I would guess that the intent of trying to understand the client would be important even if the therapist didn't totally "get it".
 

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