The Way i Speak Causes Problems

[ConqueringZero44]

So, most of my life. I've had a really cryptic and strange way of speaking, i can't exactly describe it. Through the web. But, if you'd ever meet me. You would notice. I make mistakes with wording ALOT to the point that it causes me to get labeled a "Liar" or "Manipulator" when i can't even do that, and to heck with doing that to people. If i even try to lie. I smile. Dead. Give. Away, i can't. But, this is becoming an issue. I think. And i do pick up on when i am saying the wrong things, i find it really hard to catch myself mid-way. I just don't want to pause every conversation because that just adds to the problem. Because i have to think about what i have to say. Usually i do know what i want to say. Except, when it comes outta my mouth. I don't know if anyone else has this difficulty. But, i like to think that my Asperger's is a big factor in this. I have always talked differently. I am not ashamed of this. I just think it is a slight problem.

I don't want to have to explain to neurotypical people all the time. I shouldn't even have to defend what i am.

 

[Pats]

I'm sure being aspie has everything to do with it. Sounds like a no-win situation. If you talk, the wrong things come out which makes what you say inaccurate, but if you pause and think carefully about what to say, they think you're manipulating. Did I get that correct?

 

[Tom]

I think unusual speech patterns is a very common occurrence among autistic people. You are right it shouldn't mean a thing. But it can cause problems if it causes misunderstandings. It might be good to talk about it with some one you trust and who can help you pinpoint things that are causing difficulties and how to avoid it. If you want to go the professional route, there are speech therapists who do this for a living. I'm not saying erase your originality, just to perhaps modify specific aspects people are consistently misconstruing.

 

[Ginseng]

I sometimes say the wrong thing when I meant the right thing. Then people correct me and think I don’t know what I am talking about when I do know. I don’t go back and try to explain either because it always seems pointless. And sometimes people do think I am lying when I am not. It is painful, but it seems pointless to try to explain. I think I would make it worse trying.

 

[Ken S.]

I say, hear & read things wrong. When reading I have to re-read every paragraph 2 to 3 times to make sure I got it right. When having a conversation I say "what?" often because the words said aren't always the ones I heard and my brain to mouth filter is nonexistent.

 

[china autie]

Yes I have a bit of expressive language aphasia. In my case I have the kind that causes me to substitute the wrong sounds so I wind up with the wrong words. Like I will say "wrong" when I mean "long". That is different from what you are having though.

I have also had people accuse me of lying which is rather hurtful. I am not good at it in the first place and do not desire to be.

The other thing that hurts is people not waiting for me to order my thoughts into sentences.

For that, I tell them "Excuse me, I wasn't done" or "I need a minute." Those things do not work well. And I should not have to trot out one of my many diagnoses on demand. Doing that does not fix it either.

Some people are rude. Some are indifferent. Some are impatient. And at times that enraged me.

I am careful about who I surround myself with these days. If I really need to say something lengthy and get it right, it goes into an email.

Social situations with acquaintances like work people are difficult. Nowadays, I eat whatever food there is and ask a question once in awhile. People love to talk about themselves. Once they get started on that, the pressure is off of me to perform like some act in a circus.

Speech and Language therapists can help though I have a limitation with what my medical insurance will pay for. Going to Toastmasters helps some people but that is too overwhelming for me.

I do not have a television. Sometimes I watch TED talks to try to improve my own communication a little bit.

 

[ConqueringZero44]

I'm sure being aspie has everything to do with it. Sounds like a no-win situation. If you talk, the wrong things come out which makes what you say inaccurate, but if you pause and think carefully about what to say, they think you're manipulating. Did I get that correct?

Yep, right on the mark. I do not like this at all. It's just hell when it starts up.

I say, hear & read things wrong. When reading I have to re-read every paragraph 2 to 3 times to make sure I got it right. When having a conversation I say "what?" often because the words said aren't always the ones I heard and my brain to mouth filter is nonexistent.

Now, that i do alot aswell. Haha, i used to read Robin Hobb's Assassin's Apprentice (Good book btw)
And i would go over and over and over with the same words. And get stuck in a loop.
And i do the "what" thing aswell to the point it gets mocked alot. Annoys me to no end.

Yes I have a bit of expressive language aphasia. In my case I have the kind that causes me to substitute the wrong sounds so I wind up with the wrong words. Like I will say "wrong" when I mean "long". That is different from what you are having though.

I have also had people accuse me of lying which is rather hurtful. I am not good at it in the first place and do not desire to be.

The other thing that hurts is people not waiting for me to order my thoughts into sentences.

For that, I tell them "Excuse me, I wasn't done" or "I need a minute." Those things do not work well. And I should not have to trot out one of my many diagnoses on demand. Doing that does not fix it either.

Some people are rude. Some are indifferent. Some are impatient. And at times that enraged me.

I am careful about who I surround myself with these days. If I really need to say something lengthy and get it right, it goes into an email.

Social situations with acquaintances like work people are difficult. Nowadays, I eat whatever food there is and ask a question once in awhile. People love to talk about themselves. Once they get started on that, the pressure is off of me to perform like some act in a circus.

Speech and Language therapists can help though I have a limitation with what my medical insurance will pay for. Going to Toastmasters helps some people but that is too overwhelming for me.

I do not have a television. Sometimes I watch TED talks to try to improve my own communication a little bit.

It is extremely painful having to explain to people the difficulty's with who we are as, alot of them do not take it very well. I get told i am making "Excuses" because i am "Lazy" or i just get called every name under the sun. Because, they can't understand what i am trying to tell them. And like you were saying it makes things even harder when you have to stop and think about what you want to say.
I really am not liking the fact, that i cannot win. We shouldn't be called "Liar's" just because we were born this way. It's completely unfair.

 

[SusanLR]

My thoughts are quick, but, they don't come out that fast.
So many act like if I take a second to put the words together that I'm not paying attention.
Especially if they ask a question.
It's like I should reply in a split second. A second seems too long for them.

Another problem I have is in trying to explain something, my mind runs away in different directions
at the same time and the explanation can come out with what sounds like non-related words.
It's me thinking outloud.
And the person I live with is rude and will say things like: "I don't know a thing your saying." In an angry tone.
Others have ask why I have to go all around the world to explain something.
Too many thoughts at the same time.

If anyone watches NCIS New Orleans, Sebastian makes me think of my speech pattern and he
gets the same looks and get to the point remarks.

 

[Suzanne]

I took on being fearful to talk, but it has been terribly tiring for me, because I cannot think what I say is wrong and so, find it better to be just silent.