Had my ADHD assessment. She jokingly commented that it was the fastest assessment she has ever done with a client. It was supposed to be 90 minutes, but we were done within 30. Once the formal questions were done, I didn't have anything further to ask in all honesty. I went into the assessment knowing, and when she diagnosed me, I just had a big grin on my face.
I think all the reading I'd done beforehand from websites, books and chatting to people with ADHD definitely helped. All that introspection and such like that I've been mulling over for a long time etc.
So I scored full marks - which sounds almost comical, but much like the online tests I'd done in the past where I was consistently getting 95-100% it seems with a professional diagnosis that is also the case. She said that scoring full marks means it affects me in every area of life that they have criteria for. But again - I smiled. Why? Because I guess I'm happy with that closure. ADHD is part of me. There's a reason why when I first read about the condition, it hit home so hard. Why it felt like I was reading my autobiography
This makes me feel confident that an Autism assessment later in the year will go the same way. As people have said in the past - probably ASD1. But it's better to know, and make it official I suppose.
Am I relieved? Sort of. I kinda wanted to ask for a partial refund as we hammered through it in 30 mins instead of 90. Some of the questions though - they had me laughing, as I looked back to my childhood and adult life and she described issues with impulse control, distractions, leaving things unfinished, not listening to people, talking over people, reckless behaviour, making mistakes etc etc. I wondered why I was laughing at some of the questions - perhaps it was just because I'd read it all before, so many times - but to hear that this was the official criteria, and it paints such a perfect picture of my life. Ahh, I don't know - it's just nice to feel understood. Sure, sometimes we like to think we're different and unique - but to fit a disorder so perfectly did seem rather funny to me - but in a good way.
So, next Friday I have a 45 minute (maybe 15?
) chat with a Psychologist who will discuss medication. She thought it could help, and I think it might. Considering my history with self medicating, I really shouldn't hold onto such a stigmatising view of medication. It was designed to help people. So perhaps try? She was quick to assure me that it's not like anxiety and depression meds I'd tried before - it's not a daily, rigorous regime. There can be as many days off meds as I desire. On weekends and such like it isn't necessary to be taking the meds. But, she said it could help with focus, impulse control and fidgeting less.
Let's try it eh? At the end of the day, it's a lifelong condition - and perhaps I will find something that genuinely helps me. I'm happy to accept this is part of me. From the first day I read about ADHD and Autism - I knew. So perhaps spending over £500 to have it formally recognised is another example of my poor impulse control - I won't begrudge it. It'll be over £1000 to have ADHD and Autism confirmed. Then again, she recommended I have the Autism assessment too. It's best to know isn't it? Perhaps the cost seems excessive to some, but this is for me - nobody else.
I'm not expecting any sort of miracle when it comes to medication. But, it could be another tool in my arsenal to help me. If it's a step in the right direction, why not? At the end of the day, my concentration, impulsivity and such like does cause me stress. If I can minimise some stress in my life, I may as well approach that possibility with an open mind.
Just remembered one question though - she asked me how my self care and diet was. I laughed harder at that question than any other. I said to her:
"My diet is a car crash. I live off little more than sugar and carbs."
"Oh my god"
That really did make me smile. You know what's funny? I'm at a point now where I'm replacing meals with snacks/sweets etc and I'm losing more weight. I'm actually closer to my original weight that I had most of my adult life (before drinking). My six pack is back and I'm feeling and looking better. Funny that - all those fad diets "don't eat sugar!" "avoid all carbs". Well you know what? It seems that you can eat cake for breakfast and still look ripped. Just fidget all day long and twirl a big stick for 2-3 hours a day. You'll be fine.
An apple (pie) a day keeps the Dr away. Sure, I know long term it's not healthy, but I see old people and think to myself - nah. I'd rather eat everything and die of a heart implosion in my 50's or 60's.
So, there were have it. One of the few tests I got full marks on.
Grade A*
Distinction in ADHD.
The relief has caused a real buzz, as has the coffee. Hyper hyper.
All joking aside - this is a big moment. Perhaps it seems out of sorts to have been laughing at certain questions, or getting through 30 minutes and having nothing further to say. But ADHD and Autism has been on my mind for such a long time now. Questions I had - I read and answered for myself. Now, I'm not a religious man myself, but I cannot fault the wisdom that is within a lot of religious texts, so let's end on a more serious note, with a quote from the prayer of Saint Francis:
"To be consoled as to console; To be understood as to understand"
A prayer for peace, and the words above speak to me with regards to the assessment and the understanding and peace I've found in learning about ADHD and Autism.
Ed
I think all the reading I'd done beforehand from websites, books and chatting to people with ADHD definitely helped. All that introspection and such like that I've been mulling over for a long time etc.
So I scored full marks - which sounds almost comical, but much like the online tests I'd done in the past where I was consistently getting 95-100% it seems with a professional diagnosis that is also the case. She said that scoring full marks means it affects me in every area of life that they have criteria for. But again - I smiled. Why? Because I guess I'm happy with that closure. ADHD is part of me. There's a reason why when I first read about the condition, it hit home so hard. Why it felt like I was reading my autobiography
This makes me feel confident that an Autism assessment later in the year will go the same way. As people have said in the past - probably ASD1. But it's better to know, and make it official I suppose.
Am I relieved? Sort of. I kinda wanted to ask for a partial refund as we hammered through it in 30 mins instead of 90. Some of the questions though - they had me laughing, as I looked back to my childhood and adult life and she described issues with impulse control, distractions, leaving things unfinished, not listening to people, talking over people, reckless behaviour, making mistakes etc etc. I wondered why I was laughing at some of the questions - perhaps it was just because I'd read it all before, so many times - but to hear that this was the official criteria, and it paints such a perfect picture of my life. Ahh, I don't know - it's just nice to feel understood. Sure, sometimes we like to think we're different and unique - but to fit a disorder so perfectly did seem rather funny to me - but in a good way.
So, next Friday I have a 45 minute (maybe 15?
) chat with a Psychologist who will discuss medication. She thought it could help, and I think it might. Considering my history with self medicating, I really shouldn't hold onto such a stigmatising view of medication. It was designed to help people. So perhaps try? She was quick to assure me that it's not like anxiety and depression meds I'd tried before - it's not a daily, rigorous regime. There can be as many days off meds as I desire. On weekends and such like it isn't necessary to be taking the meds. But, she said it could help with focus, impulse control and fidgeting less.Let's try it eh? At the end of the day, it's a lifelong condition - and perhaps I will find something that genuinely helps me. I'm happy to accept this is part of me. From the first day I read about ADHD and Autism - I knew. So perhaps spending over £500 to have it formally recognised is another example of my poor impulse control - I won't begrudge it. It'll be over £1000 to have ADHD and Autism confirmed. Then again, she recommended I have the Autism assessment too. It's best to know isn't it? Perhaps the cost seems excessive to some, but this is for me - nobody else.
I'm not expecting any sort of miracle when it comes to medication. But, it could be another tool in my arsenal to help me. If it's a step in the right direction, why not? At the end of the day, my concentration, impulsivity and such like does cause me stress. If I can minimise some stress in my life, I may as well approach that possibility with an open mind.
Just remembered one question though - she asked me how my self care and diet was. I laughed harder at that question than any other. I said to her:
"My diet is a car crash. I live off little more than sugar and carbs."
"Oh my god"
That really did make me smile. You know what's funny? I'm at a point now where I'm replacing meals with snacks/sweets etc and I'm losing more weight. I'm actually closer to my original weight that I had most of my adult life (before drinking). My six pack is back and I'm feeling and looking better. Funny that - all those fad diets "don't eat sugar!" "avoid all carbs". Well you know what? It seems that you can eat cake for breakfast and still look ripped. Just fidget all day long and twirl a big stick for 2-3 hours a day. You'll be fine.
An apple (pie) a day keeps the Dr away. Sure, I know long term it's not healthy, but I see old people and think to myself - nah. I'd rather eat everything and die of a heart implosion in my 50's or 60's.
So, there were have it. One of the few tests I got full marks on.
Grade A*
Distinction in ADHD.
The relief has caused a real buzz, as has the coffee. Hyper hyper.
All joking aside - this is a big moment. Perhaps it seems out of sorts to have been laughing at certain questions, or getting through 30 minutes and having nothing further to say. But ADHD and Autism has been on my mind for such a long time now. Questions I had - I read and answered for myself. Now, I'm not a religious man myself, but I cannot fault the wisdom that is within a lot of religious texts, so let's end on a more serious note, with a quote from the prayer of Saint Francis:
"To be consoled as to console; To be understood as to understand"
A prayer for peace, and the words above speak to me with regards to the assessment and the understanding and peace I've found in learning about ADHD and Autism.
Ed
Last edited:
