The One Characteristic Aspies Share

[Hadarian]

I know that people have said that each person with high-functioning autism is unique and different and that there is not supposed to be any one "symptom" or characteristic which we all have, but I have actually found one potential "symptom" that we all seem to have. Let's say that so far, I haven't seen one of us that is lacking it:

We all seem to be light years ahead of "normal people" in our level of self-awareness and in the skill of articulating and expressing to others our behavior. I have never in my entire life seen such a large collection of people in one place who are so impressively self-aware and articulate, skilled in analysis of self and behavior as I have seen on this website. It really impressed me when I first came here and to me this is one trait that all Aspies seem to share. We are hell-bent on analyzing ourselves and are good at it. We are skilled at stepping outside of ourselves and breaking down our thought processes and our feeling experiences and analyzing their causes and the ways in which people interact with us and we interact with them and we are driven to explain to ourselves and anyone who will listen, precisely why people are judging us badly and wrongly and why we cannot function well in this system that they have set up.

Is this not a characteristic that can be attributed to all Aspies? I think it may be. And I think it is awesome and, for me, very heartening to find so many people who are as driven towards self-awareness and skilled in articulating their "findings" as I am.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

That we all disagree with each other is a common trait...

 

[Progster]

I wouldn't say that I have always been so self-aware, perhaps more so since diagnosis, perhaps that's why I'm constantly analysing my behaviour. I used to walk around in a little bubble of oblivion as far as the world was concerned and didn't really have a sense of identity or self, or know who I really was.

 

[Pats]

I think the reason we are so self aware is because we try so hard to figure out why to all out questions. Why are we so different? Why do I not fit in? Why are things so difficult for me that seem to be easy for everyone around me? We study things, including ourselves.

 

[Mia]

I have never in my entire life seen such a large collection of people in one place who are so impressively self-aware and articulate, skilled in analysis of self and behavior as I have seen on this website.

Perhaps we attempt to understand ourselves even when it's painful, some of us dig deep at varying times in our lives. I'm far more realistic even critical of my abilities, skills, detraction's than some people I've encountered in my life. We study and continue to learn. Innate, inborn curiosity drives some of us.

 

[Judge]

I don't know that each and every one of us on the spectrum all share this trait.

However in my own case, I could honestly say that my greatest "special interest" has for some time been the pursuit of my own autism. A continuing quest to determine who and what I really am.

 

[Aspychata]

Can truthfully say l don't feel it's me against anybody, l feel everybody has good and bad things. Try to point out one perfect person on the planet, and l can show you a infinite amout of different people, some gifted, some sociopaths, some........ , so l don't feel a universal need "to fit in" to anything, since we all are constantly evolving, some of us forward, some of us backwards.

 

[Hadarian]

That we all disagree with each other is a common trait...

I don't disagree with everyone here. On the contrary--I disagree with "normal" people on almost everything, almost across the board. One of the most unexpected and pleasant surprises I found on this site is that I not only agree with a lot of people here, but I feel like most people here, even the ones who have a manifestation of autism that is in direct contrast to mine, seem to be looking at the world through the same sort of eyes I am.

I wouldn't say that I have always been so self-aware, perhaps more so since diagnosis, perhaps that's why I'm constantly analysing my behaviour. I used to walk around in a little bubble of oblivion as far as the world was concerned and didn't really have a sense of identity or self, or know who I really was.

I was completely unaware too until relatively late in my life. I analyzed myself because of so much suffering.

I think the reason we are so self aware is because we try so hard to figure out why to all out questions. Why are we so different? Why do I not fit in? Why are things so difficult for me that seem to be easy for everyone around me? We study things, including ourselves.

I think so too. In my case, I grew up in a family that didn't like me and I, not being at all intellectually inclined, was forced to learn to understand myself and learn to articulate everything in order to defend myself against them. I was in my early 40's before I could begin to defend myself against them, and I'm still working on this.

I think we are in a way forced to explain ourselves to a world that doesn't have a clue. And since we are the minority, the onus is on us to defend ourselves and explain ourselves. If not to others, than at least to ourselves.

Well, anyway, it's a theory I had. I've never even met anyone with ASD in person. But I would estimate that 99% of the people I meet/have met in my life could not care less about the sort of self-analysis we engage in--in fact, I can't remember ever meeting a person who did not go out of their way to run as fast as they could AWAY from uncovering who they were. They go out of their way to NOT self-reflect and self-analyze. And this is one of the reasons I would rather be by myself than with someone, anyone else.

 

[tlc]

I've noticed for a long time on dating sites, most people would say things like "I don't like talking about myself" or "I'm not good at describing myself". I didn't understand why it was so hard. I would do a good writeup about myself and wished others would do the same. To weed out people who were not a good match because I don't like wasting people's time or my own. True I'm alone because things didn't work out in the end and I'm done for at least awhile, but the ones I got were still pretty good matches and were together for years.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Maybe, the ability to look folks in the eye when they talk. I'm quite good at it nowadays. The problem is, I don't hear a word they are saying if I do so.