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The most scared you have ever been...

Chance

"all who wander are not lost" - Tolkien
V.I.P Member
I have been through many things (especially as a kid) where I was terrified but that was in a punishment sense... I'm talking just flat out scared, because way too much is way too far out of your control...

I have mentioned several times, where I am... we are under extreme drought conditions, and we have had wildfire after wildfire around, near, or close to us. I haven't been on here because our luck apparently ran out...

Imagine this if you can...Spring Break... Maybe 100 campers (RV's), 300+ kids of all ages running around all over 800 acres on foot, in golf carts, on 4 wheelers.

I was at the bank about 45 miles away, and got a call from our Office manager, who was trying so hard to stay in control but her voice was shaking asking me to please hurry and get back, "We have a fire on the property!" At first I was cool... thinking some jerk broke the burn ban and they had a little fire, but my gut was already screaming different because of her voice...

Chills instantly went up my back, and she hung up... Then a text that said, "Damn oh damn..."

By this time I was back on the road and rolling about 120+ miles an hour with the flashers going and this is what I saw from nearly forty miles away rolling up from out of the canyon...

IMG_0588.PNG


As I got closer I got more terrified just trying to imagine the living hell that was happening down in that hole...

IMG_0578.jpg


When I got there they wouldn't let me in... I started freaking the hell out... But I held it all in and logic was right... The fire was so hot the electric poles were on fire, and they said it would melt the outside of my vehicle, or there wouldn't be enough oxygen that it could make it nearly through a mile wide stretch of super intense heat...

By this time we had lost all power, and every cell number I called went to voice mail, so I was having a really bad time... I turned around and had to make a 40 mile square to get back on the north side of the fire and back to the office...

After I got there, most all the RVs were parked all along the road side and it looked like a war zone. People and stuff everywhere. I never said a word, I grabbed a radio and jumped in my old Gramp's Suburban (I leave it there all the time) and off into hell I went to join the firemen.

I turned on all the water on the golf course, which wraps around the camping area and that was doing great until a dozer crushed my main line, and we lost all pressure so that was the end of that.. Then it was back to fighting this like insane fools. I was driving through fires to get to stuff that needed to be gotten out of the way.

I had to hook on to a fire truck (full of water) that got buried up in the sand and pull it out...
I had all 4 tires spinning in low lock and we did get it out but now my motor is knocking really bad... It got hot but you have to do what you have to do in a situation like this... I will get it fixed.

Its now finally over... They brought in three tanker planes with fire retardant and we had 9 volunteer fire departments, and the Texas Forrest service fight this thing mainly because of all the people involved, and us not knowing where anyone was at the time...

It was so freaking scary to even think someone might be trapped in that... I did kind of puke when a young deer came running out smoking and collapsed on the golf course... I didn't kind of puke, I did puke... It made me sick at my stomach... I just don't handle stuff like that real well...

I am very very tired (but cant really sleep). I smell like smoke no matter how many showers I take... I think it's inside me, not outside me.

This fire started because a little 4 wheeler a kid was riding backfired, and just that little pop and spark was all it took to set off a tender box nightmare... It burned over 600 acres in just a couple of hours then we had to keep putting out hot spots all night that would flare up over and over. Cedar trees EXPLODE by the way... It's insane to watch how they do this...

Well anyway it's over now, and to imagine any of those people being trapped (possibly burning alive) in that messed me up pretty bad... but everyone is accounted for, and no structures or RV's were lost... Now to just get past all of it in my head... : )

So the nightmare turned out really well... And someday the massive damage it caused to the land will be lush and green again. It's just sad all those trees just GONE...

This is just a glimpse of the scorched earth where I work... I'm gonna pop my drone up as soon as it's not so windy and the people are gone... and get a birds eye view of what it did.

Well poop it says the video file is too big... Here is just a snapshot for now...

IMG_0582.jpg


Feel free to tell your most scary moments... This to date was mine.
 
i think when i knew i shouldn't have taken two different antidepressants for more than one day !!!I have never had anything like that in my life!,days on days on days of panic attacks that's why I feel frightened if I read that anybody takes anything more than 40 mg of an antidepressant .
I can't feel what you felt as the warning system in my brain tells me it's too much.
i've seen fire like that !someone lit !!!!!!!!something and threw it into the allotments behind my house !I heard about the fire moving but never seen it like that! and of course the path up to the allotment is very narrow for the fire engine! just barely got there !it was licking the fence of the house next door and sparks were coming off.
I think after the first one!when I got back to the house after my mother was gone !I can't say the D WORD! I stood in the lounge and I felt like there was another me standing next to me -just standing staring at the lounge ( Front room ,sitting room )no thoughts just completely empty , I knew something bad had happened just couldn't grasp it .
 
I felt a lot of fear when I first started having panic attacks and my mind would get totally consumed with nothing but the thought I was going to stop breathing if I didn't hyperventilate forcefully to keep it going.
Everything around me was just like it wasn't there.
Only the fear and the physical sensations I was having.
I've had it this intense for hours.
That's a lot of fear. But, I've learned to handle them and haven't had that intensity for many years now.

The worst fear I've felt from an external event was just
before I was wheeled into the OR for the liver cancer
removal.
The nurse came in with papers where I was waiting which included a toe tag. (33% survival prognosis)
The surgeon came in and said a prayer while holding my hand. Then when I was pushed through the doors on that guerney into a round room with observation deck for students to watch and saw those massive lights with a little table shaped like a cross where I had to lay so they could get in as close as possible... I lost it and went into
a shaking shock state.
 
I have been through many things (especially as a kid) where I was terrified but that was in a punishment sense... I'm talking just flat out scared, because way too much is way too far out of your control...

I have mentioned several times, where I am... we are under extreme drought conditions, and we have had wildfire after wildfire around, near, or close to us. I haven't been on here because our luck apparently ran out...

Imagine this if you can...Spring Break... Maybe 100 campers (RV's), 300+ kids of all ages running around all over 800 acres on foot, in golf carts, on 4 wheelers.

I was at the bank about 45 miles away, and got a call from our Office manager, who was trying so hard to stay in control but her voice was shaking asking me to please hurry and get back, "We have a fire on the property!" At first I was cool... thinking some jerk broke the burn ban and they had a little fire, but my gut was already screaming different because of her voice...

Chills instantly went up my back, and she hung up... Then a text that said, "Damn oh damn..."

By this time I was back on the road and rolling about 120+ miles an hour with the flashers going and this is what I saw from nearly forty miles away rolling up from out of the canyon...

View attachment 43011

As I got closer I got more terrified just trying to imagine the living hell that was happening down in that hole...

View attachment 43012

When I got there they wouldn't let me in... I started freaking the hell out... But I held it all in and logic was right... The fire was so hot the electric poles were on fire, and they said it would melt the outside of my vehicle, or there wouldn't be enough oxygen that it could make it nearly through a mile wide stretch of super intense heat...

By this time we had lost all power, and every cell number I called went to voice mail, so I was having a really bad time... I turned around and had to make a 40 mile square to get back on the north side of the fire and back to the office...

After I got there, most all the RVs were parked all along the road side and it looked like a war zone. People and stuff everywhere. I never said a word, I grabbed a radio and jumped in my old Gramp's Suburban (I leave it there all the time) and off into hell I went to join the firemen.

I turned on all the water on the golf course, which wraps around the camping area and that was doing great until a dozer crushed my main line, and we lost all pressure so that was the end of that.. Then it was back to fighting this like insane fools. I was driving through fires to get to stuff that needed to be gotten out of the way.

I had to hook on to a fire truck (full of water) that got buried up in the sand and pull it out...
I had all 4 tires spinning in low lock and we did get it out but now my motor is knocking really bad... It got hot but you have to do what you have to do in a situation like this... I will get it fixed.

Its now finally over... They brought in three tanker planes with fire retardant and we had 9 volunteer fire departments, and the Texas Forrest service fight this thing mainly because of all the people involved, and us not knowing where anyone was at the time...

It was so freaking scary to even think someone might be trapped in that... I did kind of puke when a young deer came running out smoking and collapsed on the golf course... I didn't kind of puke, I did puke... It made me sick at my stomach... I just don't handle stuff like that real well...

I am very very tired (but cant really sleep). I smell like smoke no matter how many showers I take... I think it's inside me, not outside me.

This fire started because a little 4 wheeler a kid was riding backfired, and just that little pop and spark was all it took to set off a tender box nightmare... It burned over 600 acres in just a couple of hours then we had to keep putting out hot spots all night that would flare up over and over. Cedar trees EXPLODE by the way... It's insane to watch how they do this...

Well anyway it's over now, and to imagine any of those people being trapped (possibly burning alive) in that messed me up pretty bad... but everyone is accounted for, and no structures or RV's were lost... Now to just get past all of it in my head... : )

So the nightmare turned out really well... And someday the massive damage it caused to the land will be lush and green again. It's just sad all those trees just GONE...

This is just a glimpse of the scorched earth where I work... I'm gonna pop my drone up as soon as it's not so windy and the people are gone... and get a birds eye view of what it did.

Well poop it says the video file is too big... Here is just a snapshot for now...

View attachment 43013

Feel free to tell your most scary moments... This to date was mine.
You did really well Chance! Out of control fire is absolutely terrifying! And when there's wind behind it it moves unbelievably fast! We have terrible bush fires in Australia and I have been caught up in a couple, but nowhere near as bad as your experience!

I think the most scared I have ever been was when my tractor slid down the side of a dam and I thought it was going to turn over with me trapped underneath. Somehow I managed to scramble off and miraculously it just hung there until my neighbour came and dragged it out! Another time I was driving up a steep winding road with a sheer drop beside me and a big truck came round the bend overtaking! There was no room for three vehicles to pass one another yet somehow we did! To this day I don't know how how.

I have decided that the only explanation is that my time wasn't up and 'someone' was looking after me. Guess I still had lessons to learn!

I guess you do too.
 
Oh Chance so awful for you! I'm so glad you and everyone are OK that's brilliant news, but it sounds terribly frightening. You were so brave, wow. I am not brave at all although I do get that way we seem to do what we have to. I was on sleep in duty once in a hostel and there was a fire.the alarm woke me I was in sole charge with 26 adult residents. I opened the flat door oneighbour the second floor and there was smoke. I thought if there's smoke here people may be dying on first floor. Terrified. I opened the door to the hostel top floor and helped people thru we had a guy with a leg in plaster to his thigh he was slow. Then the warden arrived he actually was there in his flat wow relief. There was a fire engine on it's way. We had to check roomsomething the warden did the floor below I got the easier one but it was smoky and he had to carry someone out who'd been drinking and was out of it. It turned out to be a sofa with a cigarette we think. This was years ago . The fire crew picked it up and threw it in the garden through the window. Whole ground floor blackened with smoke. But I recall most the fear that people were maybe dying and on my watch. That weight of fear and responsibility. Everyone was ok though what a relief, like you have too. Much smaller compared to your experience but I ll always remember that.
 
As a kid was always scared of school bullies. Have been scared of police and legal things nearly every day of my adult life.

But one day was scarier and that was the day after 9/11. It was the first problem that was way bigger than my life, or my family, or my town... No thoughts in particular, but just this anxiety fear of the unknown. The evening of 9/11 people were filling gas cans and stations had doubled or tripled their prices. I filled one too since I lived in the boonies. The next day on my 25 mile drive to work, the world seemed silent, and I saw one car... a Honda Insight. That really messed with me.
 
1) on losing my first baby, 3 months into pregnancy.

2) the realisation that hormones only took you so far with child rearing.
If I’d have lived in a village tribe where the emphasis is on survival skills, hunting and providing for the village, simple enough eh?

The scarey bit was realising in order to fit in my children had to be productive and contributing members of society.
Saying and doing the right things, sociable, caring, able to make their own money to live on (problem solving)

I had to go and get a few qualifications at night school and research like billio in order to set them on the right track without squashing their own individuality.

I’ve been afraid/ terrified many times in my life to date.
I’ll add more when I’ve organised my thoughts.
:)
 
@Chance, you did so good. I'm proud of you.

The only time I really experienced a similar feeling was in the military in 1990 flying supplies in and out of the middle east. This was after Iraq invaded Kuwait and had set all the oil wells on fire. We had to dress out in chemical warfare protective gear before we landed anywhere in case Iraq bombed the base while we were on the ground. I guess the first flight in was the worst. 3 months into that deal we landed at some place (I forget where) in the middle of the day and it was dark on the ground because of the oil well fire smoke complete obscured the sun. Roiling, inky black and grey "clouds" horizon to horizon...the stench of burnt crude oil. It was like some sort of apocalyptic movie scene.

I stopped feeling the fear after the first few flights, I had to just shut it out in order to do my job. I guess it would have been OK, maybe, but it just went on and on. First Iraq war, Panama invasion, no-fly zone enforcement, Somalia, Afghanistan war, 2nd Iraq war, ... I have a list somewhere.
 
I have been through many things (especially as a kid) where I was terrified but that was in a punishment sense... I'm talking just flat out scared, because way too much is way too far out of your control...

I have mentioned several times, where I am... we are under extreme drought conditions, and we have had wildfire after wildfire around, near, or close to us. I haven't been on here because our luck apparently ran out...

Imagine this if you can...Spring Break... Maybe 100 campers (RV's), 300+ kids of all ages running around all over 800 acres on foot, in golf carts, on 4 wheelers.

I was at the bank about 45 miles away, and got a call from our Office manager, who was trying so hard to stay in control but her voice was shaking asking me to please hurry and get back, "We have a fire on the property!" At first I was cool... thinking some jerk broke the burn ban and they had a little fire, but my gut was already screaming different because of her voice...

Chills instantly went up my back, and she hung up... Then a text that said, "Damn oh damn..."

By this time I was back on the road and rolling about 120+ miles an hour with the flashers going and this is what I saw from nearly forty miles away rolling up from out of the canyon...

View attachment 43011

As I got closer I got more terrified just trying to imagine the living hell that was happening down in that hole...

View attachment 43012

When I got there they wouldn't let me in... I started freaking the hell out... But I held it all in and logic was right... The fire was so hot the electric poles were on fire, and they said it would melt the outside of my vehicle, or there wouldn't be enough oxygen that it could make it nearly through a mile wide stretch of super intense heat...

By this time we had lost all power, and every cell number I called went to voice mail, so I was having a really bad time... I turned around and had to make a 40 mile square to get back on the north side of the fire and back to the office...

After I got there, most all the RVs were parked all along the road side and it looked like a war zone. People and stuff everywhere. I never said a word, I grabbed a radio and jumped in my old Gramp's Suburban (I leave it there all the time) and off into hell I went to join the firemen.

I turned on all the water on the golf course, which wraps around the camping area and that was doing great until a dozer crushed my main line, and we lost all pressure so that was the end of that.. Then it was back to fighting this like insane fools. I was driving through fires to get to stuff that needed to be gotten out of the way.

I had to hook on to a fire truck (full of water) that got buried up in the sand and pull it out...
I had all 4 tires spinning in low lock and we did get it out but now my motor is knocking really bad... It got hot but you have to do what you have to do in a situation like this... I will get it fixed.

Its now finally over... They brought in three tanker planes with fire retardant and we had 9 volunteer fire departments, and the Texas Forrest service fight this thing mainly because of all the people involved, and us not knowing where anyone was at the time...

It was so freaking scary to even think someone might be trapped in that... I did kind of puke when a young deer came running out smoking and collapsed on the golf course... I didn't kind of puke, I did puke... It made me sick at my stomach... I just don't handle stuff like that real well...

I am very very tired (but cant really sleep). I smell like smoke no matter how many showers I take... I think it's inside me, not outside me.

This fire started because a little 4 wheeler a kid was riding backfired, and just that little pop and spark was all it took to set off a tender box nightmare... It burned over 600 acres in just a couple of hours then we had to keep putting out hot spots all night that would flare up over and over. Cedar trees EXPLODE by the way... It's insane to watch how they do this...

Well anyway it's over now, and to imagine any of those people being trapped (possibly burning alive) in that messed me up pretty bad... but everyone is accounted for, and no structures or RV's were lost... Now to just get past all of it in my head... : )

So the nightmare turned out really well... And someday the massive damage it caused to the land will be lush and green again. It's just sad all those trees just GONE...

This is just a glimpse of the scorched earth where I work... I'm gonna pop my drone up as soon as it's not so windy and the people are gone... and get a birds eye view of what it did.

Well poop it says the video file is too big... Here is just a snapshot for now...

View attachment 43013

Feel free to tell your most scary moments... This to date was mine.

Just wow, but...

For a second I thought it was the 'fired' guy taking it too far one more time...
 
Chance you are amazing the way you dealt with that. Hope the memory fades quickly- that's the stuff of nightmares and PTSD.

My experiences pale in comparison but here they are:

I thought I might die twice:

Once scuba diving when I was deep and got caught in an up current while very underweighted so could not control my ascent. It was in a very remote area of the Philippines with no medical services. I'm still not sure why I didn't get the bends.

The other was during a sit in in Georgia in 1965. We were in a mixed group and the owner of the restaurant told all the other customers to leave then put tear gas through the A/C system to force us out. When we finally had to leave there was a crowd waiting for us outside the door. I expected they were going to grab us and kill us as we filed out but they just stood and stared.
 
Last edited:
When I was about 7 years old and I was in the middle of a field and a thunderstorm started. I was absolutely terrified and ran home and hid under the blankets. Then, the next day, all the other neighbourhood kids made fun of me.

When a pack of stray dogs started chasing me, and one bit my legs.

When a reversing van knocked me down, and I was lying on the road and I didn't know whether the van driver was aware that I was down, behind the vehicle or not, I was terrified that he might just keep on reversing.

When I found a lump in my breast, had a biopsy, and the biopsy said the the tumour was malignant. The time between the biopsy and waiting for the results of further scans and surgery to tell me whether the cancer had spread or not.
 
I have been through many things (especially as a kid) where I was terrified but that was in a punishment sense... I'm talking just flat out scared, because way too much is way too far out of your control...

I have mentioned several times, where I am... we are under extreme drought conditions, and we have had wildfire after wildfire around, near, or close to us. I haven't been on here because our luck apparently ran out...

Imagine this if you can...Spring Break... Maybe 100 campers (RV's), 300+ kids of all ages running around all over 800 acres on foot, in golf carts, on 4 wheelers.

I was at the bank about 45 miles away, and got a call from our Office manager, who was trying so hard to stay in control but her voice was shaking asking me to please hurry and get back, "We have a fire on the property!" At first I was cool... thinking some jerk broke the burn ban and they had a little fire, but my gut was already screaming different because of her voice...

Chills instantly went up my back, and she hung up... Then a text that said, "Damn oh damn..."

By this time I was back on the road and rolling about 120+ miles an hour with the flashers going and this is what I saw from nearly forty miles away rolling up from out of the canyon...

View attachment 43011

As I got closer I got more terrified just trying to imagine the living hell that was happening down in that hole...

View attachment 43012

When I got there they wouldn't let me in... I started freaking the hell out... But I held it all in and logic was right... The fire was so hot the electric poles were on fire, and they said it would melt the outside of my vehicle, or there wouldn't be enough oxygen that it could make it nearly through a mile wide stretch of super intense heat...

By this time we had lost all power, and every cell number I called went to voice mail, so I was having a really bad time... I turned around and had to make a 40 mile square to get back on the north side of the fire and back to the office...

After I got there, most all the RVs were parked all along the road side and it looked like a war zone. People and stuff everywhere. I never said a word, I grabbed a radio and jumped in my old Gramp's Suburban (I leave it there all the time) and off into hell I went to join the firemen.

I turned on all the water on the golf course, which wraps around the camping area and that was doing great until a dozer crushed my main line, and we lost all pressure so that was the end of that.. Then it was back to fighting this like insane fools. I was driving through fires to get to stuff that needed to be gotten out of the way.

I had to hook on to a fire truck (full of water) that got buried up in the sand and pull it out...
I had all 4 tires spinning in low lock and we did get it out but now my motor is knocking really bad... It got hot but you have to do what you have to do in a situation like this... I will get it fixed.

Its now finally over... They brought in three tanker planes with fire retardant and we had 9 volunteer fire departments, and the Texas Forrest service fight this thing mainly because of all the people involved, and us not knowing where anyone was at the time...

It was so freaking scary to even think someone might be trapped in that... I did kind of puke when a young deer came running out smoking and collapsed on the golf course... I didn't kind of puke, I did puke... It made me sick at my stomach... I just don't handle stuff like that real well...

I am very very tired (but cant really sleep). I smell like smoke no matter how many showers I take... I think it's inside me, not outside me.

This fire started because a little 4 wheeler a kid was riding backfired, and just that little pop and spark was all it took to set off a tender box nightmare... It burned over 600 acres in just a couple of hours then we had to keep putting out hot spots all night that would flare up over and over. Cedar trees EXPLODE by the way... It's insane to watch how they do this...

Well anyway it's over now, and to imagine any of those people being trapped (possibly burning alive) in that messed me up pretty bad... but everyone is accounted for, and no structures or RV's were lost... Now to just get past all of it in my head... : )

So the nightmare turned out really well... And someday the massive damage it caused to the land will be lush and green again. It's just sad all those trees just GONE...

This is just a glimpse of the scorched earth where I work... I'm gonna pop my drone up as soon as it's not so windy and the people are gone... and get a birds eye view of what it did.

Well poop it says the video file is too big... Here is just a snapshot for now...

View attachment 43013

Feel free to tell your most scary moments... This to date was mine.
just went
I have been through many things (especially as a kid) where I was terrified but that was in a punishment sense... I'm talking just flat out scared, because way too much is way too far out of your control...

I have mentioned several times, where I am... we are under extreme drought conditions, and we have had wildfire after wildfire around, near, or close to us. I haven't been on here because our luck apparently ran out...

Imagine this if you can...Spring Break... Maybe 100 campers (RV's), 300+ kids of all ages running around all over 800 acres on foot, in golf carts, on 4 wheelers.

I was at the bank about 45 miles away, and got a call from our Office manager, who was trying so hard to stay in control but her voice was shaking asking me to please hurry and get back, "We have a fire on the property!" At first I was cool... thinking some jerk broke the burn ban and they had a little fire, but my gut was already screaming different because of her voice...

Chills instantly went up my back, and she hung up... Then a text that said, "Damn oh damn..."

By this time I was back on the road and rolling about 120+ miles an hour with the flashers going and this is what I saw from nearly forty miles away rolling up from out of the canyon...

View attachment 43011

As I got closer I got more terrified just trying to imagine the living hell that was happening down in that hole...

View attachment 43012

When I got there they wouldn't let me in... I started freaking the hell out... But I held it all in and logic was right... The fire was so hot the electric poles were on fire, and they said it would melt the outside of my vehicle, or there wouldn't be enough oxygen that it could make it nearly through a mile wide stretch of super intense heat...

By this time we had lost all power, and every cell number I called went to voice mail, so I was having a really bad time... I turned around and had to make a 40 mile square to get back on the north side of the fire and back to the office...

After I got there, most all the RVs were parked all along the road side and it looked like a war zone. People and stuff everywhere. I never said a word, I grabbed a radio and jumped in my old Gramp's Suburban (I leave it there all the time) and off into hell I went to join the firemen.

I turned on all the water on the golf course, which wraps around the camping area and that was doing great until a dozer crushed my main line, and we lost all pressure so that was the end of that.. Then it was back to fighting this like insane fools. I was driving through fires to get to stuff that needed to be gotten out of the way.

I had to hook on to a fire truck (full of water) that got buried up in the sand and pull it out...
I had all 4 tires spinning in low lock and we did get it out but now my motor is knocking really bad... It got hot but you have to do what you have to do in a situation like this... I will get it fixed.

Its now finally over... They brought in three tanker planes with fire retardant and we had 9 volunteer fire departments, and the Texas Forrest service fight this thing mainly because of all the people involved, and us not knowing where anyone was at the time...

It was so freaking scary to even think someone might be trapped in that... I did kind of puke when a young deer came running out smoking and collapsed on the golf course... I didn't kind of puke, I did puke... It made me sick at my stomach... I just don't handle stuff like that real well...

I am very very tired (but cant really sleep). I smell like smoke no matter how many showers I take... I think it's inside me, not outside me.

This fire started because a little 4 wheeler a kid was riding backfired, and just that little pop and spark was all it took to set off a tender box nightmare... It burned over 600 acres in just a couple of hours then we had to keep putting out hot spots all night that would flare up over and over. Cedar trees EXPLODE by the way... It's insane to watch how they do this...

Well anyway it's over now, and to imagine any of those people being trapped (possibly burning alive) in that messed me up pretty bad... but everyone is accounted for, and no structures or RV's were lost... Now to just get past all of it in my head... : )

So the nightmare turned out really well... And someday the massive damage it caused to the land will be lush and green again. It's just sad all those trees just GONE...

This is just a glimpse of the scorched earth where I work... I'm gonna pop my drone up as soon as it's not so windy and the people are gone... and get a birds eye view of what it did.

Well poop it says the video file is too big... Here is just a snapshot for now...

View attachment 43013

Feel free to tell your most scary moments... This to date was mine.
just went onto the Texas Forest service Facebook page one of the family members of the firefighters is asking for prayer
 
One of THE scariest times was when someone brought a big massive Python into school one day, I'm pretty much TERRIFIED of Snakes anyway, but this was particularly scary.

Also, the night before my first white belt grading in Japanese Karate, I was aged about 15 at the time, and was REALLY nervous as I tend not to do well under exam conditions, but I passed easily, and as I've trained under a few different teachers I've passed white belt and other ranks since then.
 
Holy crap!

I can not top that.

Strictly speaking, the most fear I've ever felt was probably my first panic attack. I had never had one before, so I thought I was having a heart attack and that it was curtains for old Gritches.
 
Now that this nightmare has a little history behind it...(but very far from being all fixed and repaired)...

I noticed something that maybe I should have noticed a long time ago. Sure I was freaking terrified, but it was all REAL. It was not false terror like in a panic attack or anxiety. I kept waiting to loose it, but I never once come unhinged, or tried to shutdown. I might have been more focused in that situation than in any situation I have ever been in... Its weird really.

I had NO DETAILS of what was going on in this, and there was no time for details and chit chat. I had to just instinctively go... No one bothered me, no one ridiculed me, we were all doing our best and most of all I was looking for people and pets... I was actively searching for one missing man, and he was found okay. He walked up the river and got out without harm, shortly after I went looking for him.

So I guess when the fear is very real and there is no time to worry over stuff...
I can handle it maybe better than just normal everyday life and anxiety.
Now how do I retrofit that intense FOCUS into my everyday life???

We have all been so busy that none of us have really got to set down and discuss much of anything. Today is the last day of Spring Break so most all people will pull out, and it wont be crazy again until Memorial Day, except for 3 golf tournaments (2 High School and one real)...

It is actually cloudy and sort of rainy this morning so I am taking a quick break... I'm thinking of just going out and standing in it... Haven't seen much more than a drop in over 6 months... It's all supposed to clear out in a couple of hours, no big rains at all, and it's back to repairing stuff.

I hope to get a chance to pop "toothless" (my drone) up, and get a real look (video) of the aftermath... Its crazy enough from the ground, but I have to see it from the sky.

One of my most favorite hideouts is now ashes... I had this place on the river called "2 willows"... It was hidden and really hard to get too even on a four wheeler... It's nothing but baron ash. It's really sad.
It's like this place sort of lost part of its soul. So far I feel blank and emotionless or just sad I guess.
I wonder how others feel?

Its just so scared and fire breaks are cut all through it and they dozed up huge trees... I know they were doing their best but its like this place is sort of tainted now... It was already badly abused by drunken fools, but we kept all that cleaned up and renewed... This... Is going to take years and even then it will never be the same... : (

I will post the video, the first chance I get. I apparently have to keep them pretty short to upload them, unless that was a glitch the other night... I gotta get back to it now... so later I guess.
 
Holy crap!

I can not top that.

Strictly speaking, the most fear I've ever felt was probably my first panic attack. I had never had one before, so I thought I was having a heart attack and that it was curtains for old Gritches.

Its not about topping anything dude... We arent doing one ups that I know of...
It's sickening more than anything... I sort of just feel lost and sick down deep deep inside, but very very grateful at the same time...
It could have been so so much worse. : )
 
It must be reassuring to know that when the chips are down you won't panic. I know that's how I felt during my first unforeseen crisis while scuba diving- it was a huge relief to know that I could keep my head in an emergency. But up to that point I was terrified I would panic even though I've never had a panic attack.
 
It must be reassuring to know that when the chips are down you won't panic. I know that's how I felt during my first unforeseen crisis while scuba diving- it was a huge relief to know that I could keep my head in an emergency. But up to that point I was terrified I would panic even though I've never had a panic attack.

I love water, I have loved it since I was tiny... But burning up or drowning would be the 2 ways I would not want to die... I'm glad you figured your situation out as well... : )

I have had so many anxiety and panic attacks that I can basically hide them at this point. But it was how I noticed how different they were than how the real thing is... I somehow want to use that, but not sure how...
 
Its not about topping anything dude... We arent doing one ups that I know of...
It's sickening more than anything... I sort of just feel lost and sick down deep deep inside, but very very grateful at the same time...
It could have been so so much worse. : )
what I never understand is when there is a wildfire /fire in Australia and it's all black how little green things start to appear ?????and why is there a tree in Australia that only releases its seed if there is a fire ?that's wrong .
 
Its not about topping anything dude... We arent doing one ups that I know of...
It's sickening more than anything... I sort of just feel lost and sick down deep deep inside, but very very grateful at the same time...
It could have been so so much worse. : )

Oh I didn't mean anything about one-upsmanship, that's just something that didn't translate well over a text medium. I guess I could try to rephrase what I meant: "I thought I've been through some scary stuff, but it pales in comparison to that; that must've been intense."

But I agree, could've been worse, just glad nobody was hurt.
 

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