"The Good Doctor" Season 3 Ep. 1

[Judge]

Wow. So autistic Dr. Shaun Murphy had his first formal date. Which from his perspective turned into a date from hell. While all his NT coworkers seemed exasperated that the date went bad at all. And yet his NT date seemed to weather both the date- and his autism all quite well.

I just really related to Shaun's perspective and agonized about it right along with him.

If anything it was a good episode in explaining how our perspective of social events can be so different from the neurological majority. Though this one was painful for me to watch. Yet it was a lesson that may be lost to most NTs. Not sure if they could really understand us enough to appreciate such an episode in just how stressful such structured social events can be for those of us on the spectrum, even if and when they work as planned.

 

[unperson]

Didn't know it was back on, thanks for the tip.

 

[SusanLR]

I watched it too. Glad it is back.
@Judge I was feeling the same way about relating to how Shaun felt.
It did feel painful to know just doing something like a social date is so tiring to us.
Trying to remember what to say, when to say it, how to act.
I felt he was right for walking away when he went to see her through the lab window,
yet it does hurt to know how difficult and tiring something like a date can be.
Sometimes, most times, the pleasure isn't worth the pain.

 

[Judge]

It did feel painful to know just doing something like a social date is so tiring to us.
Trying to remember what to say, when to say it, how to act.

A social ritual that is little more than mental and emotional torture to me. Which is why I chose instead to focus on making friends. Less pressure, no rituals, no expectations in comparison.

To see this dynamic expressed through a television character....well, let's just say that it really "hit home".

Kudos to executive producer Daniel Dae Kim who also portrayed Dr. Jackson Han who was previously fired for his discrimination towards Dr. Murphy. I don't always agree with the writing or direction the show may take, but in this episode I thought it was spot-on when it comes to autistic thought processes. Where the issue of dating can be an emotional minefield.

 

[Crossbreed]

I agree about formal dates, but his first season outing with Lea was a "date" of sorts.

 

[Judge]

I agree about formal dates, but his first season outing with Lea was a "date" of sorts.

"Of sorts" indeed.

Lea was a friend first. Then that friendship seemed to evolve into something else. However it didn't last, though at least at the present they appear to be platonic roomies and little else.

I've always thought of a formal date as an outing with someone you don't really know well if at all, but want to. A scenario that I chose to avoid with one exception. And for me, that date went about as well as did Shaun's.

I guess this is why I seemed to relate so much to this particular episode.

 

[Crossbreed]

This show sure does a lot of cancer surgeries without ever bringing an oncologist into the loop...!

 

[Judge]

Another example of how close to home the writing of this show can be.

Shaun is torn between Carly and Lea. He just told Carly that he likes her, but feels a need to impress her. With Lea, he doesn't have to.

Carly- Dating
Lea- Friendship

I've posted many times how I just could not deal with dating as a social institution. Instead, choosing friendship. Not because I want to, but because from my perspective I have no real choice.

Yeah. I really am autistic. There are times when I wonder...but something always brings me back to reality. Dr. Shaun Murphy is a fictional character, but he seems very real to me as an autistic person in terms of his difficult social relationships with well...just about everyone. Painful to watch, but so very real to me.

I'm not classically autistic nor a savant. But at times I see so many of his social struggles in myself. And now he's fearing that everyone hates him.

This thing called autism isn't easy. Though if I was coerced into dating, I wish it would have been with a gentle soul like Carly. Though I have a feeling this isn't going to end well for Shaun- or Carly. But then relationships didn't end well for me either.

Art imitating life....<sigh>

 

[SusanLR]

I think if I were in his position I would stay with the friendship since he is comfortable with it.
It looks like a good deal for both. She wants to be there to comfort him and doesn't have sexual
feelings for him. Split rent and each does their own thing.

Trying to get into the dating touch relationship is not comfortable for him.
Never was for me either, so I would have chosen friendship.
Why make yourself miserable with the romance stuff if you don't really want it?
That's when you also get into the jealousy and control issues.
Not my cup of tea.

 

[tducey]

I've saw ads for this show, really should check it out. I think they handle the Autism thing well with him.

 

[Judge]

Sex and love. With a steep learning curve involved, I hope they don't give Dr. Shaun a heart attack. With or without Neurotypicals.

I like seeing more of Richard Schiff's character. Glad he's back...