The 1%

[Chance]

Sometimes we feel less than... Less than what others expect, what others call "normal," how others perceive things, how others communicate, and a thousand things more...

But for those of us who can see the wind, hear the plants, feel the energy in words, sense the invisible, and smell what others see as impossible... One percent is beyond special.

So many of us (myself included) often feel crushed by a world that maybe isn't what we expected.

With all my soul, I feel we were ALL born for a reason... Some great, some small, but ALL extremely significant NT/ND, it makes no difference. The difference is in what we do with what we have, and how we treat others in the process.

Our trials are not meant to crush us (though it seems they are/or do)...
They are there to make us stronger than the other 99%.
This LIFE seeks out those who are special... the others... They are just takers of LIFE.

I hope this helps others, because at times its the only thing in life that I have left to grasp for.

So many of our posts are about how weak we are... In a different light they show how strong we are... : ) Now I want to see how strong you really are.

Each one of us has endured more than most normal people can imagine. On top of that we have to decipher a blurred reality where things just don't add up with our minds screaming everything is different than others perceive it... We have to analyze what happens in ways we have to figure out on our own, in situations we may not even understand.

Often the time is not there to allow for us to seem as acceptable in this reality, so we close off, or explode. Their status quo is not our master... Its simply a marker for what people call 'normal"... I often forget that.

We are not just out of the box thinkers... For the most part we don't even notice there is or was a box... Those mental boxes of social acceptance are for people who need to shove other people into them...

To someone like me... That is more like a mental prison... Not much more, yet to others its a place where things are safe - IF you can play by the rules of their status quo, traditions, rituals, and countless other markers that define people... great... If not well your in the 1%

One thing that keeps me thinking, when I sink into that dark place is this...

Some (maybe most) of the greatest inventions, writings, art, etc... Much of it came from people who today would be / and are "classified" just as we are. Those people were called stupid, criticized, made fools of, yet they all went through very dark and troubling times... Only to finally do what 99% of the rest of the world cant even imagine. Later they became heroes, and they hold the torches of "special", and NO ONE can take from them.
Who is it now to keep their torches glowing in a world of darkness, if no one is left to care?

At times, it seems this world is a very dark and mean place... That is what happens when people are hurting on levels they no longer understand. Even a wounded animal will bite, or even kill, a person trying to help it.

So if that darkness is knocking at your mental door... Invite it in, but let it known that it can only stay if it is converted into some form of secret greatness. No one else may understand (at least for now), but thats okay... Just let it be okay, and KNOW it will be of value at a later time.

Our mental land scape is a property that cant be valued until it is placed in a conscious market place. Make yours priceless, that way no one can own you at any level. That was a secret personal goal of mine, until now it seems... : )

We are the few, the insecure, yet we are strong (in ways others cant see)... yet we can do, see, and sense, what others cant... At some point a few of us take a risk that seems insane. We may have to fail 1000 times in doing so, to find our way... but IF we seek it with honor, and determination, that door will finally open.

In that "insanity", we are often called the freaks, the geeks, and the retards... The words of the jealous, in times of mediocrity, always fall back where they came from. Never be mediocre. Never settle for less than what you dream about.

We are what we think about the most... If we are thinking doom and gloom, then doom and gloom is sure to become who we are. If we are thinking we can do the unthinkable, then we are in for the ride of our lives, never to say that is easy... but look at the alternative...

For people like us... There isn't an alternative... except to give up, and be crushed by the weight of the expectations of those who have lost their own way... That is not an option for me.

This is not a rant, there is no conundrum...

Just a post to remind us who we are, and its not always the weak ones, as we think we are.
Special has no price... And lots of "normal" people cant see special until it has so far surpassed their dogmas and stupid traditions; They may see, but yet they are blind to what surrounds them... Even worse they want to to make what IS NOT like them, become like them...
Sorry, that is not what I seek from my LIFE... and that alone places me in a very small minority of this planets inhabitants.

Special people live unordinary lives at a cost, that alone makes an extraordinary people. 1% is where special people live... special lives.

So who really wants to be part of the 99% anyway? Look at history... It paints the future, until we change the narrative. Nothing changes, it only evolves into worse nightmares...
Special is not made in massive moves, or great accomplishments (at least at first)... for most of us that is too much to grasp all at once. Its often in very small (uncomfortable) steps, that we take everyday to that place we feel at HOME with.

I think... I hope... Each one of us still has that beacon inside us... That one thing that lights the fire of desire to do what others wont do... We all CAN do most anything we set our minds to do... most just don't care enough, or want the world handed to us/them...

That is not what LIFE is... LIFE is a chance to be something special in what ever tiny, or huge, way we choose... So as one of the microscopic 1%... I am grateful to see the blurred reality and find my way in unbalanced narratives. IF that is ALL I was given to define in LIFE then so be it, but we all have a next level, and that never ends.

I haven't had much time to be on here at all, and I have missed it a lot... but I just wanted to take a few minutes to tell all those who have helped me in ways you will never know... Thank you

When I found this place... I was maybe at one of the most confused times in my life. A small fractional part of that 1%, helped me make a lot of sense, where nothing was making sense.

Be thankful for the small things in life... never be led by people who are less then you.
That is how our world loses it footing...
To see that for what it is... is how people find out who they are.

Again thank you...

Now if you choose... show me some of the deepest part of your greatness,
if you dare to step out and light the torch. : )

I will check back when I can... Its insane at work right now.

 

[Suiseiseki]

I'm not great, the idea that I am is stupid. Most people with aspergers are just as normal in their "greatness" as everyone else.
I don't like being this way, I would much rather have a normal mind and a normal life. This one sucks.
I don't care about my novels or painting at the end of the day, it is worthless to me.
I don't want to be special or unique, I only ever wanted to be normal.
But since I can't I just exist in some apathetic mess.
I just wanted to have a normal job, a family and not be surrounded by the garbage I like.
Somedays I can't leave my near empty room (which is empty for a reason) to look at it in my place, I can't stand to see it there, a shrine to what's wrong with me.
I hate it.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Sometimes we feel less than... Less than what others expect, what others call "normal," how others perceive things, how others communicate, and a thousand things more...

But for those of us who can see the wind, hear the plants, feel the energy in words, sense the invisible, and smell what others see as impossible... One percent is beyond special.

So many of us (myself included) often feel crushed by a world that maybe isn't what we expected.

With all my soul, I feel we were ALL born for a reason... Some great, some small, but ALL extremely significant NT/ND, it makes no difference. The difference is in what we do with what we have, and how we treat others in the process.

Our trials are not meant to crush us (though it seems they are/or do)...
They are there to make us stronger than the other 99%.
This LIFE seeks out those who are special... the others... They are just takers of LIFE.

I hope this helps others, because at times its the only thing in life that I have left to grasp for.

So many of our posts are about how weak we are... In a different light they show how strong we are... : ) Now I want to see how strong you really are.

Each one of us has endured more than most normal people can imagine. On top of that we have to decipher a blurred reality where things just don't add up with our minds screaming everything is different than others perceive it... We have to analyze what happens in ways we have to figure out on our own, in situations we may not even understand.

Often the time is not there to allow for us to seem as acceptable in this reality, so we close off, or explode. Their status quo is not our master... Its simply a marker for what people call 'normal"... I often forget that.

We are not just out of the box thinkers... For the most part we don't even notice there is or was a box... Those mental boxes of social acceptance are for people who need to shove other people into them...

To someone like me... That is more like a mental prison... Not much more, yet to others its a place where things are safe - IF you can play by the rules of their status quo, traditions, rituals, and countless other markers that define people... great... If not well your in the 1%

One thing that keeps me thinking, when I sink into that dark place is this...

Some (maybe most) of the greatest inventions, writings, art, etc... Much of it came from people who today would be / and are "classified" just as we are. Those people were called stupid, criticized, made fools of, yet they all went through very dark and troubling times... Only to finally do what 99% of the rest of the world cant even imagine. Later they became heroes, and they hold the torches of "special", and NO ONE can take from them.
Who is it now to keep their torches glowing in a world of darkness, if no one is left to care?

At times, it seems this world is a very dark and mean place... That is what happens when people are hurting on levels they no longer understand. Even a wounded animal will bite, or even kill, a person trying to help it.

So if that darkness is knocking at your mental door... Invite it in, but let it known that it can only stay if it is converted into some form of secret greatness. No one else may understand (at least for now), but thats okay... Just let it be okay, and KNOW it will be of value at a later time.

Our mental land scape is a property that cant be valued until it is placed in a conscious market place. Make yours priceless, that way no one can own you at any level. That was a secret personal goal of mine, until now it seems... : )

We are the few, the insecure, yet we are strong (in ways others cant see)... yet we can do, see, and sense, what others cant... At some point a few of us take a risk that seems insane. We may have to fail 1000 times in doing so, to find our way... but IF we seek it with honor, and determination, that door will finally open.

In that "insanity", we are often called the freaks, the geeks, and the retards... The words of the jealous, in times of mediocrity, always fall back where they came from. Never be mediocre. Never settle for less than what you dream about.

We are what we think about the most... If we are thinking doom and gloom, then doom and gloom is sure to become who we are. If we are thinking we can do the unthinkable, then we are in for the ride of our lives, never to say that is easy... but look at the alternative...

For people like us... There isn't an alternative... except to give up, and be crushed by the weight of the expectations of those who have lost their own way... That is not an option for me.

This is not a rant, there is no conundrum...

Just a post to remind us who we are, and its not always the weak ones, as we think we are.
Special has no price... And lots of "normal" people cant see special until it has so far surpassed their dogmas and stupid traditions; They may see, but yet they are blind to what surrounds them... Even worse they want to to make what IS NOT like them, become like them...
Sorry, that is not what I seek from my LIFE... and that alone places me in a very small minority of this planets inhabitants.

Special people live unordinary lives at a cost, that alone makes an extraordinary people. 1% is where special people live... special lives.

So who really wants to be part of the 99% anyway? Look at history... It paints the future, until we change the narrative. Nothing changes, it only evolves into worse nightmares...
Special is not made in massive moves, or great accomplishments (at least at first)... for most of us that is too much to grasp all at once. Its often in very small (uncomfortable) steps, that we take everyday to that place we feel at HOME with.

I think... I hope... Each one of us still has that beacon inside us... That one thing that lights the fire of desire to do what others wont do... We all CAN do most anything we set our minds to do... most just don't care enough, or want the world handed to us/them...

That is not what LIFE is... LIFE is a chance to be something special in what ever tiny, or huge, way we choose... So as one of the microscopic 1%... I am grateful to see the blurred reality and find my way in unbalanced narratives. IF that is ALL I was given to define in LIFE then so be it, but we all have a next level, and that never ends.

I haven't had much time to be on here at all, and I have missed it a lot... but I just wanted to take a few minutes to tell all those who have helped me in ways you will never know... Thank you

When I found this place... I was maybe at one of the most confused times in my life. A small fractional part of that 1%, helped me make a lot of sense, where nothing was making sense.

Be thankful for the small things in life... never be led by people who are less then you.
That is how our world loses it footing...
To see that for what it is... is how people find out who they are.

Again thank you...

Now if you choose... show me some of the deepest part of your greatness,
if you dare to step out and light the torch. : )

I will check back when I can... Its insane at work right now.

Man, what did you have for breakfast?

Please don't say pop tarts. I don't want to be eating them everyday.

Great post should do a proper reply later

 

[LucyPurrs]

But for those of us who can see the wind, hear the plants, feel the energy in words, sense the invisible, and smell what others see as impossible... One percent is beyond special.

This is so true!

 

[Chance]

I'm not great, the idea that I am is stupid. Most people with aspergers are just as normal in their "greatness" as everyone else.
I don't like being this way, I would much rather have a normal mind and a normal life. This one sucks.
I don't care about my novels or painting at the end of the day, it is worthless to me.
I don't want to be special or unique, I only ever wanted to be normal.
But since I can't I just exist in some apathetic mess.
I just wanted to have a normal job, a family and not be surrounded by the garbage I like.
Somedays I can't leave my near empty room (which is empty for a reason) to look at it in my place, I can't stand to see it there, a shrine to what's wrong with me.
I hate it.

I have been in that place, was in that place for a really long time... and I finally decided to embrace who I am and not worry about what I perceived as "normal"... Most people are drowning in drama, and their own contradictions (only because we were conditioned to do so)... It finally hit me... and I suddenly started asking myself... Why do I want, what I am nothing like? Maybe embrace who you are, and your brand of normal might be better than you realize right now. I hope you find your way out... No one can do that for any of us. Its all in choices.
Please know you are more than you give yourself credit for. : )

 

[Suiseiseki]

I have been in that place, was in that place for a really long time... and I finally decided to embrace who I am and not worry about what I perceived as "normal"... Most people are drowning in drama, and their own contradictions (only because we were conditioned to do so)... It finally hit me... and I suddenly started asking myself... Why do I want, what I am nothing like? Maybe embrace who you are, and your brand of normal might be better than you realize right now. I hope you find your way out... No one can do that for any of us. Its all in choices.
Please know you are more than you give yourself credit for. : )

You don't know me.
I don't much care to "embrace" that side of me, because the people I want to be around don't so, to me there's no point.

 

[LucyPurrs]

I finally decided to embrace who I am

And who you are is so infinitely better than who you were trying to be. This is such welcome news!

 

[Judge]

So we're "one-percenters", eh? Point taken. I do kind of live a non-mainstream sort of lifestyle apart from my neurodiversity.

Then I guess I just need to get a motorcycle too. And a jacket...and some patches.

Oops. The guy from the CDC is shaking his head at me. He says we're "two-percenters" according to the statistics. I'm guessing we're actually more like five-percenters...but I don't think the other ninety-five percent want to hear that either.

 

[Suiseiseki]

It's difficult to view myself as being special in a good sense. I'm more like @Suiseiseki in that I don't want to be special. Making things worse is when people tell me that I'm a "beam of sunshine" or "a special person" or that I have a "gift."

What all of these statements have in common is that they are hollow and useless platitudes. With the exception of my therapist, who may very well be full of it, NOBODY has ever said that to me in-person, to my face.

Especially not an employer.

I have a difficult time lying to myself in order to believe that I am something that the world wants or needs.

What I want is a CURE for my affliction. I'm tired of being special, because apparently being special means not being able to afford food, health care, a place to live, and not being able to get a job or make friends.

It's not a life worth fighting to have. I'll exist for as long as I can.

It's also difficult to believe that I was "born for a reason," or that there is a reason why I can't make friends, or a reason why I can't work, or a reason why I failed when I pursued my dream career, or a reason why my ex-wife beat me mercilessly, or a reason why my previous employer said horrific things to me without consequence.

I have no use for anything that "works in mysterious ways," because I cannot read between the lines. Anything that functions as a mystery is not there for my benefit.

I just can't cheerlead and be positive about what is wrong with me.

And I despise the term "Aspie," because it not only feels like it is belittling my affliction, but it also sounds like a type of little foofy dog that just took first place at Westminster. I had to get that out, while I'm at it.

I cannot fool myself into believing that anyone is jealous of me, when they all look down on me, point, and laugh.

Indeed, special has no price, for no one is buying. I'm certainly not buying any of it.

I just can't trick myself.

What I need is a cure.

Finally someone gets it. I feel like I am crazy when I say these things and people tell me "oh no it'll all work out"
I'm almost 30, things aren't working out.
It's not something most people want, most people on these forums are miserable. They would be a lot better off being normal.
I can't work full time and have to be on government disability.
That is humiliating.
What kind of life is this?
And it is insulting to be told it's great and somehow better then, say my friends or my brother...

Spoiler alert, it's far worse.

 

[kay]

It's a difficult thing to remember sometimes. I really only enjoy the company of people slightly left of normal so there is no reason I should want to be normal myself. I wouldn't want to be around me anymore. And by slightly left of normal I don't mean people who have spent vast sums of cash to appear odd. You know, tattooed and blue hair. Those things are fine but not truly what makes a person odd. Actually at this point I guess those things are just fashionable. Nope, the slight left of normal generally are pretty subtle, you have to get lucky and get to know them before you really know how odd they are. Autism isn't what makes someone truly odd, though it's a start in the right direction. (today I am in "odd" appreciation mode. Not sure what sparked it but I am really aware of how little I even enjoy "normal".)

And I do understand those on here who just hate being in this 1% (CDC 2%). It does feel awful sometimes. I look at my life and feel like a worthless blob some days, just a burden. But then I remember that it's ok not to live up to others standards and I do have value to others even if most of society doesn't have the sense to appreciate that. But our society is a mess and values spoiled reality TV stars. And even though they have money that I will never have I still don't want to be them. I want my integrity and self respect.

Look at who and what the Nazi's valued and didn't value and the death and suffering caused. Doesn't mean they were right just because it didn't work out for thousands of people who had to go through that. Just because things in your life aren't meeting certain expectations doesn't mean you are not a valuable, wonderful person. Some of the best people die alone and miserable. Not fair at all, is it? Life really is a weird tragedy being played out repetitively over and over. It is hard to find purpose in all the senseless cruelty in the world. Yet most of us keep looking for that elusive bit of meaning to all of it. So strange, and it all came about because of matter and antimatter annihilating each other and the matter winning out? Is that correct, anyone understand all that physics stuff?

My husband is currently reading several books at the same time about such stuff and gets excited and tries to explain what he is reading. We both know that he really has no idea what he is reading. And I really, really don't know what he is reading. Just gives me a headache.

 

[onlything]

I just want to be myself without ridicule. To just do what I feel is worth doing or that I feel like doing. To just go my own way. To just live my own life. Nothing more.

And I don't want to be 'normal'. 'Normal' is a societal construct created by majority and nothing else. If I would be 'normal', I wouldn't be myself and if I wouldn't be myself, I would go against everything that is important to me. In fact, what is important to me would stop being so and whenever things you love turn worthless - it's painful, it feels like dying. So if I was 'normal', I would in fact not exist. Turning 'normal' would be dying to give place to someone else. There would be another person living in a body similar to mine but I myself would have never existed in the first place.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

What I need is a cure.

Maybe what you need is to accept it.

As near as you're going to get to a cure.

One man's meat is another mans platitude...

Meaning I can agree with you that you were born for a reason and all that is claptrap.

We have to define ourselves.

Hard work but good work - maybe

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Turning 'normal' would be dying to give place to someone else. There would be another person living in a body similar to mine but I myself would have never existed in the first place.

If that was me,in case I turned normal, I would buy clothes that don't quite fit.

That would really annoy the person that replaced me.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Hard to accept not eating, not accessing health care, and being homeless.

Maybe you can accept that. I cannot, and that might be my human failing. Shame on me for wanting to eat something.

Accepting asbergers was my meaning.

Eating isn't the same thing.

The 'shame on me for wanting to eat something' comment.

What was your purpose?

It could have several purposes.

Lashing out.

An inner mental process ,part of lashing out at yourself.

Another purpose.

 

[kay]

I think the expectation of being able to eat, access medicine, and have a place to live are reasonable expectations.

Consider the American experience. Homeless people and people who are not working are not considered to be valuable. The are less-than-human.

It is not unreasonable to have those expectations, of course you deserve food and shelter. Everyone does. That's the point, you are not less than human for not having those things or being different. Our culture does tend to treat certain groups of people as less than, but it's not right.
I have not been homeless (lived with my mom for over 40 years, then an aunt, then moved in with my boyfriend, so it's not like I wasn't close to homeless), but have a horrible employment history and am not currently working. Yep, society expects me to have a job, a college degree. Before I was 40 I hadn't even had a romantic relationship. And there was a long time as an adult I really couldn't drive except for rural areas and had no car. Plenty of things about me that I know most people look down their nose at. But despite all that, and sometimes bad treatment I have received for being different, I am really not worthless. It is easy to feel like that but intellectually I know that what society may value isn't always what matters. I don't want to allow myself to judge myself by the messed up standards that surround me.

 

[LucyPurrs]

Hard to accept not eating, not accessing health care, and being homeless.

Maybe you can accept that. I cannot, and that might be my human failing. Shame on me for wanting to eat something.

No one should consider the homeless or the unemployed as less than human and no you should not accept that not eating, being homeless and not having access to medical care is ok by any stretch of the imagination but these things are not due to autism- there are thousands of people in the US in your situation and it is shameful that our country accepts this but I don't think you can ascribe it as due to ASD. This is in no way an attempt to minimize your problems or ignore the difficulties ASD can present for you. Rather it is a condemnation of our country allowing this to happen to anyone. I think that if you stop condemning yourself , you will find that you do have valuable qualities just like others do. Don't let the bastards get you down in other words. If you give up your power to them they will abuse it.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Accepting Asperger's means accepting all of the horrible things that comes with it. I don't accept being unemployable, and I don't accept what gets in the way of that, including Asperger's.

As for the rest, I have no interest in armchair diagnosis.

It may be .

Correlation is not causation.

 

[tree]

@Fridgemagnetman

You have hit on one of my old favorite phrases:

"Correlation is not causation."

"A verb must agree with its subject in number" was my
favorite in 7th grade.

"Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny" was fun.

 

[sidd851]

@Fridgemagnetman

You have hit on one of my old favorite phrases:

"Correlation is not causation."

"A verb must agree with its subject in number" was my
favorite in 7th grade.

"Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny" was fun.

Now YOU'VE hit one of MY favorites...
"Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny";
Always wanted this one on a t-shirt...

 

[LucyPurrs]

Always wanted this one on a t-shirt...

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