Texting an aspie guy that I like him

[OKDokie_Miku]

How long do you think I should wait for a reply?

 

[Bolletje]

We can’t tell. There’s no general guidebook for Aspies. And no psychics here, as far as I can tell.

 

[AloneNotLonely]

Eh... the short answer is forever. I think texting him is a bad idea because you have no clue what his reaction is. On the other hand it's rather safe and he won't say something weird because he feels shocked and cornered.

But yea he can bounce around for 25 years not knowing what to say despite feeling the same.

 

[shysnail]

I mean, how long would you normally wait? And how long should you wait before doing what?

 

[tree]

 

[BraidedPony]

suggestion...maybe a simple i like you in a larger text about something else?
be prepared to wait while he processes the information

 

[Tom]

Did someone call for a psychic?

I must inform you upfront that I only accept payment in USD (US Donuts).

 

[paloftoon]

Ask what mode of communication he prefers- text for awhile, meet in-person sooner, and/or talk on the phone.
Everyone is different, but usually as a person is younger, they tend to want to start off with text.

 

[Bolletje]

Did someone call for a psychic?

View attachment 54764

I must inform you upfront that I only accept payment in USD (US Donuts).

Ha, I was waiting for you to stop by

 

[BraidedPony]

Isnt this National Doughnut Day? in the usa...

 

[Catana]

How long should you wait implies that you intend to do something if he doesn't respond. The ball is in his court, and liking him doesn't entitle you to do anything, really. If he doesn't respond, it's because he doesn't want to, and he may see you as a stalker if you push it.

 

[paloftoon]

How long should you wait implies that you intend to do something if he doesn't respond. The ball is in his court, and liking him doesn't entitle you to do anything, really. If he doesn't respond, it's because he doesn't want to, and he may see you as a stalker if you push it.

It is possible that a message didn't go through. A good rule you follow is it's okay to send 2, maybe 3 messages at the most. If you aren't sure about context, stick with the "2 rule" then. Over 3 is too much though. Don't wait on one person if you haven't met even once in-person. Even if you've met once in-person, it's okay to keep looking around as much as you can and want to handle until you've committed to someone else. If you question if another potential partner feels the same way, you can bring up your communication style/concerns to the other person/people to minimize confusion.

If you send more than one message, you can consider including in your message something like I'm not sure if the first one went through, so I'm sending another one. If you feel comfortable, on the 2nd or maybe third message, if it's text, you can offer to advance the quality of communication. If the connection is so bad, but if there is interest, offer to trade phone numbers or to meet in person or to talk on Skype, something like that. Don't give out unless you get permission to trade. Ask. If you get no answer or anything that isn't a "yes", move on. If they do give you a response, but it isn't a quality response, you can respond like once back, but suggest things that are only at your convenience and things that don't give up your dignity because you are trying too hard. Or, you can re-iterate advancing the quality of communication as an appropriate push back to imply (I stress you imply and not say that right out in this case) that you are serious and need the other person to reciprocate seriousness or to stop communicating and playing games is what that kind of response can imply.