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Synesthesia?

albinoblanke

New Member
I always liked watching things. As a child I watched a lot of movies and even horror movies by myself. It gave me a nice feeling. Today that feeling has become more complex, is clearer and better noticeable when seeing other things instead of movies. I've noticed a few years ago that when I see something, this is especially the case with random things such as random pictures, I feel a world in and created by my mind.
Sometimes I even see it clearly. This world gives me different feelings and really influences my mood. The feeling is not limited to only movies but a lot of things, I don't know what triggers it exactly but I can feel it when I see movies, commercials, random pictures and foto's, sometimes I even feel it when I hear a certain sound.
It is very sensitive, I remember scrolling through my phone and I saw a picture of a navigation system for less than one second and I felt it very sharp, it made me scroll back to the picture and look at it for a while. The world is not the same every time, it depends on the thing I am looking at.

I know that I might have synesthesia associating with numbers. Looking at the door in front of me right now makes me feel the numbers 4 and 0 and 27 comes to mind when I look at the silver door handle. But is this feeling of a imaginary world when looking at things also associated with some form of synesthesia?

Last year the imaginary world caused my first meltdown. That day I had seen 8 movies, the last one was Rain Man. It happened during the credits of the movies, if you've seen the movie you know that during the credits, these random pictures are shown, really random. It triggered a world I had never experienced before, I had a sensory overload. I had built up some stress back then which did make me even more sensitive.
I write this so you can have an idea of how much of an effect it can have on me.

Do you guys think it could be synesthesia too? Like my feelings for numbers? Or could it be something else? And are there other with a form of synesthesia? I appreciate your opinions. :)
 
You're just highly imaginative. I have the feeling you don't really understand what synesthesia is.
 
You're just highly imaginative. I have the feeling you don't really understand what synesthesia is.

How come? I am not sure if my mind creating these worlds is a form of synesthesia but I am almost certain my feelings for numbers is. Not to mention that there are a lot of forms of synesthesia, way more than the usual you hear about like grapheme synesthesia.
 
Synesthesia means that you will always respond to certain triggers in a specific way. If you always get the same numbers when you look at a door, then, yes, that's synesthesia. But if it varies, it isn't. It's a state in which one sense responds to another sense in a way that makes them equivalents.
 
What you're describing sounds like a sensory processing issue, which is closely associated with synesthesia, but isn't actually synesthesia.

I have several types of synesthesia and have studied it for many years. Most of us find it's related to memory storage, so yes, if a silver door handle reminds you of those particular numbers, something like that does seem synesthetic. But the truth is it would have to be far more widespread, that is... part of your everyday experience. Those of us who are highly synesthetic don't generally have moments that stand out as "wow, this is interesting" because this is how our minds have always worked. It's commonplace.
 
Synesthesia means that you will always respond to certain triggers in a specific way. If you always get the same numbers when you look at a door, then, yes, that's synesthesia. But if it varies, it isn't. It's a state in which one sense responds to another sense in a way that makes them equivalents.
Well yes and no. There is multiple kinds of synesthesia and I doubt any of us are in the medical or psychatry feild to properly know all the different kinds of synesthesia types there are like all 150 pokemon. But it its usually a blend of multiple senses together.

I know exactly what the OP is describing but I don't have a word for it. I just remember dealing with it when I was going through puberty. (I was friends with the cast of Naruto) It could be synthestia depending on other senses involved. I dunno, I'm not a doctor The number thing is definitaly synesthesia, but the imaginary world thing, i don't know.
 
What you're describing sounds like a sensory processing issue, which is closely associated with synesthesia, but isn't actually synesthesia.

I have several types of synesthesia and have studied it for many years. Most of us find it's related to memory storage, so yes, if a silver door handle reminds you of those particular numbers, something like that does seem synesthetic. But the truth is it would have to be far more widespread, that is... part of your everyday experience. Those of us who are highly synesthetic don't generally have moments that stand out as "wow, this is interesting" because this is how our minds have always worked. It's commonplace.

Looking at any door I will always see a 4 because most doors are rectangles which in my mind, is always associated with 4, same goes for buildings. If the door were pink, I would see 34, 3 is pink. The opposite is also consistent. Seeing 9999,999999999999... really makes me feel uncomfortable, I don't like the number 9 and don't like seeing too many of the same number, to me the numbers get purer and purer which is like putting too many syrup into a cup which would taste awful.

The numbers are consistent but I am not sure about my imaginary world. Perhaps I am very highly imaginative when it comes to that, but I shouldn't feel it this much if this were the case. Is there perhaps something like extreme imagination which is not good?
 
I meant to respond to this earlier but forgot about it.
What albinoblanke describes seems like a more visual version of the audio/musical things that go on in my head. I used to call it synesthesia too but I don't think it is. What I do know, or believe I know, is kinda scattered but I'll do my best to convey it.

Certain textures and sounds give me odd feelings. I've always been a very texture-oriented person. I enjoy touch, am stimulated a lot by certain textures and also by certain sounds. Here are a few associations I can remember:

The key of G feels very safe, I can almost feel like I am laying in grass in the middle of summer with the sun beating on me, warm but not scorching. The grass is soft beneath me. The key of C also does this to some extent, it's a very sort of flat and dull perception though. Perhaps this is because the key of C is often easiest to traverse on the piano, which is the only instrument I play.

The key of A flat makes me think of bright light, too bright to stand but also too dazzling to ignore, and if I'm in the mood for that sort of thing it can be quite an uplifting experience. It also feels smooth in a way, like if I could touch it, it would feel like shiny glass. If I'm not in the mood for it, it can become overwhelming. But that one I can actually explain, I remember hearing very lush A flat choir chords on TV while watching the bright sunlight shining through the window, and I can remember it being a very powerful experience for some reason.

The key of F sharp feels very tight, like I'm having to traverse a building with many twists and turns. Perhaps this is because F sharp on the piano is full of black keys which are short and narrow with more space in between. Its relative minor, E flat, is strangely open to me though, I don't know why. I just love the sound of it, it's contemplative and windy-feeling in a way.

Certain textures that I can reach out and touch remind me of certain note ranges too. For instance, something very smooth reminds me of a glockenspiel's high ringing, or a flute. A rough piece of wood is like a bassoon. Sandpaper or some pajamas I used to have which had really rough writing was very brassy, like a french horn or trombone section playing ominous chords which used to scare me as a kid so much that I had a lot of irational fears. Things that have ridges remind me of low piano notes. And certain synthesizer sounds make me think of rubber, with tight flourishes or a strong but very controlled vibrato giving the rubber a very stretchy quality that I find fascinating and creepy. If I'm not completely awake, if I'm drowsy or just waking up, and I hear something that triggers one of these, it can really do odd things to my head, to the point where I begin hallucinating and have to create silence and get some sleep.

What perhaps makes this most uncomfortable is dealing with attraction. Since texture and sound are both very sensitive areas for me that can intertwine, I have a hard time figuring out what attraction is like, versus the perceptions my brain fabricates.

At the risk of completly humiliating and shaming myself, I'll share a story about that. A few years ago, I had a girlfriend who had really soft hands and hair and a sweet voice to my perception. Personality wise she was really fun and easy to talk to, and was also very intelligent and qwirky like me, so there was a mental connection, but physically I was attracted to her too and it messed me up. I was almost entranced by her for these reasons, to the point where I avoided certain keys and certain sounds for a while after we saw each other. We had a long distance relationship and only saw each other every few months after we moved apart. I even found a synthesizer sound which for some reason brought those attractive qualities back to me, and I almost dedicated my ideas with that sound to her. Even though I knew it was silly, she wouldn't get it. She wasn't very musical, and didn't have odd sensations like I did. I still used that sound in some compositions, the ones where I felt contemplative and a little out of sorts. Now I listen to those tunes and wish I'd backed off just a little bit, but back then I couldn't stop using it, and I still would use it today, though I think I'm mostly over the craziness by now and would probably use it a lot less wildly.

But this isn't synesthesia because, while I can make generalizations, I don't experience hard connections that I can describe. I experience another world sometimes, in fact a lot of the time when I'm thinking musically, I am transported to an alien planet with abstract textures and shapes. But because they're abstract, consistency isn't there. There are trends, some being very strong and very consistent, but many are on the edges of perception, so far out that I can only catch glimpses, and trying to describe it shatters it. Every time is a bit of an adventure because I really don't know what to expect, and most of the time I can't remember what I perceived anyway, unless it took me back to the real world and inspired me to do something. So maybe, it is indeed a wild imagination.

I do use some association to remember things, for instance I remember number sequences or the spelling of words by imagining them in braille or on a computer keyboard, and I remember music with shapes, roughly resembling those of piano keys, but that isn't synesthesia really. I've also found my ability to perceive my sensations to be fading somewhat, and I don't really know why. So, it's probably more imagination, with some odd sensory association going on behind the scenes.
 
I meant to respond to this earlier but forgot about it.
What albinoblanke describes seems like a more visual version of the audio/musical things that go on in my head. I used to call it synesthesia too but I don't think it is. What I do know, or believe I know, is kinda scattered but I'll do my best to convey it.

Certain textures and sounds give me odd feelings. I've always been a very texture-oriented person. I enjoy touch, am stimulated a lot by certain textures and also by certain sounds. Here are a few associations I can remember:

The key of G feels very safe, I can almost feel like I am laying in grass in the middle of summer with the sun beating on me, warm but not scorching. The grass is soft beneath me. The key of C also does this to some extent, it's a very sort of flat and dull perception though. Perhaps this is because the key of C is often easiest to traverse on the piano, which is the only instrument I play.

The key of A flat makes me think of bright light, too bright to stand but also too dazzling to ignore, and if I'm in the mood for that sort of thing it can be quite an uplifting experience. It also feels smooth in a way, like if I could touch it, it would feel like shiny glass. If I'm not in the mood for it, it can become overwhelming. But that one I can actually explain, I remember hearing very lush A flat choir chords on TV while watching the bright sunlight shining through the window, and I can remember it being a very powerful experience for some reason.

The key of F sharp feels very tight, like I'm having to traverse a building with many twists and turns. Perhaps this is because F sharp on the piano is full of black keys which are short and narrow with more space in between. Its relative minor, E flat, is strangely open to me though, I don't know why. I just love the sound of it, it's contemplative and windy-feeling in a way.

Certain textures that I can reach out and touch remind me of certain note ranges too. For instance, something very smooth reminds me of a glockenspiel's high ringing, or a flute. A rough piece of wood is like a bassoon. Sandpaper or some pajamas I used to have which had really rough writing was very brassy, like a french horn or trombone section playing ominous chords which used to scare me as a kid so much that I had a lot of irational fears. Things that have ridges remind me of low piano notes. And certain synthesizer sounds make me think of rubber, with tight flourishes or a strong but very controlled vibrato giving the rubber a very stretchy quality that I find fascinating and creepy. If I'm not completely awake, if I'm drowsy or just waking up, and I hear something that triggers one of these, it can really do odd things to my head, to the point where I begin hallucinating and have to create silence and get some sleep.

What perhaps makes this most uncomfortable is dealing with attraction. Since texture and sound are both very sensitive areas for me that can intertwine, I have a hard time figuring out what attraction is like, versus the perceptions my brain fabricates.

At the risk of completly humiliating and shaming myself, I'll share a story about that. A few years ago, I had a girlfriend who had really soft hands and hair and a sweet voice to my perception. Personality wise she was really fun and easy to talk to, and was also very intelligent and qwirky like me, so there was a mental connection, but physically I was attracted to her too and it messed me up. I was almost entranced by her for these reasons, to the point where I avoided certain keys and certain sounds for a while after we saw each other. We had a long distance relationship and only saw each other every few months after we moved apart. I even found a synthesizer sound which for some reason brought those attractive qualities back to me, and I almost dedicated my ideas with that sound to her. Even though I knew it was silly, she wouldn't get it. She wasn't very musical, and didn't have odd sensations like I did. I still used that sound in some compositions, the ones where I felt contemplative and a little out of sorts. Now I listen to those tunes and wish I'd backed off just a little bit, but back then I couldn't stop using it, and I still would use it today, though I think I'm mostly over the craziness by now and would probably use it a lot less wildly.

But this isn't synesthesia because, while I can make generalizations, I don't experience hard connections that I can describe. I experience another world sometimes, in fact a lot of the time when I'm thinking musically, I am transported to an alien planet with abstract textures and shapes. But because they're abstract, consistency isn't there. There are trends, some being very strong and very consistent, but many are on the edges of perception, so far out that I can only catch glimpses, and trying to describe it shatters it. Every time is a bit of an adventure because I really don't know what to expect, and most of the time I can't remember what I perceived anyway, unless it took me back to the real world and inspired me to do something. So maybe, it is indeed a wild imagination.

I do use some association to remember things, for instance I remember number sequences or the spelling of words by imagining them in braille or on a computer keyboard, and I remember music with shapes, roughly resembling those of piano keys, but that isn't synesthesia really. I've also found my ability to perceive my sensations to be fading somewhat, and I don't really know why. So, it's probably more imagination, with some odd sensory association going on behind the scenes.

Are you emotionally attached to your worlds? Because a world to me can really make me sad, happy and sometimes even scared. Even colours can be triggers. Looking at websites with specific colours in them can make me feel really sick and scared and I often click them away.

I am not really good at remembering singular words or texts with nothing but words. But I can remember information really well if they have numbers in them. Sometimes I remember something that is represented by numbers after looking at them once. I was very good in history in high school because of this. Reading a paragraph once was sometimes enough because the numbers of history dates would be wandering around in my head for days and sometimes a whole week. Oh.. wow. I just realized that is probably the reason I didn't like to learn languages. No numbers, lol.
 
Yeah, I can be emotionally attached to my worlds. It's why I avoid certain music or sounds when I don't think I can handle them. I know the reasons I can't is because the world I'll be pulled into will be too much for me, and it's something I can't explain to other people very easily, because "it's kinda uncomfortable for me" just won't cut it.

My imagination sometimes helps me learn things, but I can't think of any specific examples of that. For me, it is pretty much exclusively a creativity tool, because when I concentrate too hard on learning, the worlds or whatever don't come nearly as often.
 

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