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Super Scared Into Full Time Work

T

ThisGuyIsThisGuy

Active Member
Hi, there! I know this is out of the blue, but I want to ask this because I'm feeling very down about myself and I desperately need some input for those that are out on the field.

I'm a 30 year old male living in Tennessee. I got my degree on December 31, 2017 with a GPA of 3.94. I was so proud of myself. I felt like that degree was my ticket to independence, proof that I had "made it" and ready to face the world.

Then... I went through many entry-level positions... All have turned me down. I tried going for internship, but I already graduated and it was too late. Then, I decided to look for other jobs. I got a security guard job in Nashville, but the drive to Nashville and back took an hour, and the job consisted of sitting still and looking at a camera, not getting up without permission. I felt so overwhelmed by the 10 hour shift and 2 hours of driving that I quit, and quit crying my eyes out.

At the end of the year, I have a part-time job delivering food. It's not glamorous, but it's helping me get used to working. I'm still wondering how I'm going to get to a computer or software development position with no experience but food delivery under my belt, though. I'm so scared, and I can't commit too much into a job or I lose my SSI or MedicAid. I don't know what to do. I do like being productive, but I also want my me time to decompress and make video games on my spare time... I don't know what to do and it's making me cry so much...

Please, please tell me. What was your first step into a job like? How did you transition to it? Am I going to be ok? What should I do?
 
What is your degree?
Starting work is definitely a transition from college.
 
If you are in America, be very careful. There are extremely complicated rules for SSI and Medicaid and going back to work. Have you been to VR?

If you lose health care now, it's a horrifying prospect and no one really cares if you have it or not or even if you die in the US.

Think very hard on if you can work, support yourself, pay co pays, deductibles, premiums, uncovered costs, etc AND rent, food, clothes, toiletries, taxes, etc.......

In other countries, social mobility is MUCH easier to attain than in the US for the very reason of health care.

Look at all your options realistically and proceed with extreme caution. Losing health care in this time could be a disaster that cannot be remedied by anything other than a very good paying job with the most excellent benefits.......
 
There is a book called “Cracking the Coding Interview.” You don’t have to go out and buy it, but you definitely should go to the bookstore and thumb through it. Read the 2-3 pages in the chapter about “Before the Interview." It offers this advice:

Do some large projects in your own time. Pick projects that will stretch your abilities. Prepare to talk about them, how you tackled them, and what you learned.

The book has lots of other good advice, but I think you should just start with this, because it will help you establish the experience that employers are looking for.
 
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TheFreeCat said:
If you are in America, be very careful. There are extremely complicated rules for SSI and Medicaid and going back to work. Have you been to VR?

If you lose health care now, it's a horrifying prospect and no one really cares if you have it or not or even if you die in the US.

Think very hard on if you can work, support yourself, pay co pays, deductibles, premiums, uncovered costs, etc AND rent, food, clothes, toiletries, taxes, etc.......

In other countries, social mobility is MUCH easier to attain than in the US for the very reason of health care.

Look at all your options realistically and proceed with extreme caution. Losing health care in this time could be a disaster that cannot be remedied by anything other than a very good paying job with the most excellent benefits.......
Click to expand...

VR? What's that? What do you suggest I do? At the moment, I'm living with my family and we are all working to take care of each other, including myself. Where are you from, friend?
 
The book NervousRex suggests is available in my library as an ebook, maybe yours too.
Just FYI.
 
I was a registered nurse and when I started the nursing program the counselor helped me apply for any and all scholarships I might be eligible for. One of them was from the hospital and I agreed to give them 2 years of working there after I finished school. I worked there 15 years.
Also, before I chose to go into nursing I had studied want ads to see what field was in most need at the time and that happened to be one of them. But I had to have something that I could support my kids and be secure in my field.
 
ThisGuyIsThisGuy said:
I'm already on the way of completing my first video game that programmed myself, but I'm sure they want to see the source code themselves. I'll check it out. What do you suggest?
Click to expand...

You actually may gain more notoriety from working on open source productivity software than games. Everyone seems to want to be a game developer. I've lost count of how many people on this forum alone have stated that ambition. Making something useful rather than fun stands out far more than any game you could produce.
Take a look at GitHub and see if there's any ongoing projects you can dip your toe into to assist and start learning how to coordinate with other developers as a team. If you really want to make your mark, find a gap in the open source "market" and start a project to fill it. For example one that I know is itching to be filled is a video post processing package that fills the role of Adobe After-effects. There's plenty of open-source video editors and 3D programs, but there's no open source alternative to After-effects right now. Finding a project like that and making something brand new would certainly get you noticed and make your résumé shine :)
As to how to transition to the workplace. It isn't always easy and many of us end up just coping out of necessity. Do what you need to survive and keep working on your ambitions in the background. It's all too easy to fall into the trap of having to carry on doing unsatisfying or low paid work just to make ends meet and losing sight of your dreams ;)
I wish you luck and fortitude.
 
Mr Allen said:
Move to Silicon Valley, CA, apparently jobs are like Gold dust there.
Click to expand...
This is simply not true and not very good advice. Silicon Valley is an incredibly difficult place to make it. The pressure to produce is intense and the environment is challenging enough for a neurotypical, let alone someone on the spectrum. As @Graphin writes, try contributing to an open source project. One of the larger projects out there is Samba which implements Windows file sharing, print serving, and authentication for Unix systems. This project would give you a wealth of knowledge about systems administration, engineering, and software development and will allow you to build a large and diverse skillset.

Samba - opening windows to a wider world

I am not a software engineer but I've done large scale projects with Samba and I can say that the people who work on it are wizards. If you can hunt for bugs, submit patches, and really use Samba, you could write your own ticket in IT.
 
No clue how SSI or MedicAid works in USA.

Your best choice is to stay in the zone where all that is taken care of, while working on your own projects. The problem with this is that most people work on stuff on their own time that has no chance of hitting it big. The dude that made Minecraft is super rich now, so it is possible even with a video game.

You can work on things that aren't games that have a chance of bringing in some money, this also raises your chances of getting hired on non-video game jobs. Your major in video game programmer just... it looks really really bad.

If you don't end up getting a few good hits that make quit a bit of money (In the zone of 20k or so) you are going to end up poor. So you really have to take it seriously and not just work on pet hobby projects.

Not sure how much the security job made (Net, that is, considering loss of SSI and Medicaid if applicable) but that was definitely a gem if it wasn't for a horribly low salary. 2 hour drive could've been fixed by moving closer. I really think you jumped the gun on that one. Also, if you can't handle that... you seriously can't handle programming in a company. Sitting still and looking at a camera is super chill compared to having to deal with whiny co-workers, whiny bosses all the while frying your brain trying to put out good coding. Not a programmer myself, but I've been in the whole "Use your brain for a living" situation and it's far worse than just boring monotonous work.
 
Mr Allen said:
Move to Silicon Valley, CA, apparently jobs are like Gold dust there.
Click to expand...

Mattymatt said:
This is simply not true and not very good advice.
Click to expand...

Captain Pedantic here.
bebfcc039ac367b99dae8588fd77814a737f1784_full.jpg


Actually the original statement IS true even if it was used in the wrong context. The phrase "like gold dust" means something is hard to find because so many people are seeking the same thing, so the statement is valid. However it is used to support the advice to go to the place where the resource is scarce, which is contradictory.

So - "Don't move to Silicon Valley because jobs are like gold dust there"

LIKE GOLD DUST | meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary
 
ThisGuyIsThisGuy said:
Hi, there! I know this is out of the blue, but I want to ask this because I'm feeling very down about myself and I desperately need some input for those that are out on the field.

I'm a 30 year old male living in Tennessee. I got my degree on December 31, 2017 with a GPA of 3.94. I was so proud of myself. I felt like that degree was my ticket to independence, proof that I had "made it" and ready to face the world.

Then... I went through many entry-level positions... All have turned me down. I tried going for internship, but I already graduated and it was too late. Then, I decided to look for other jobs. I got a security guard job in Nashville, but the drive to Nashville and back took an hour, and the job consisted of sitting still and looking at a camera, not getting up without permission. I felt so overwhelmed by the 10 hour shift and 2 hours of driving that I quit, and quit crying my eyes out.

At the end of the year, I have a part-time job delivering food. It's not glamorous, but it's helping me get used to working. I'm still wondering how I'm going to get to a computer or software development position with no experience but food delivery under my belt, though. I'm so scared, and I can't commit too much into a job or I lose my SSI or MedicAid. I don't know what to do. I do like being productive, but I also want my me time to decompress and make video games on my spare time... I don't know what to do and it's making me cry so much...

Please, please tell me. What was your first step into a job like? How did you transition to it? Am I going to be ok? What should I do?
Click to expand...
First of all, congratulations on your degree and graduation with honors. With a GPA like yours, have you thought about looking at Federal Government jobs? You would qualify for both Schedule A (preferential treatment for people with disabilities) and Superior Academic Achievement (special treatment for people with a GPA above 3.50.) If you are interested, see if you can get VocRehab with Tennessee. The councilors will be able to guide you through the process of obtaining Schedule A employment.
 
Autistamatic said:
Captain Pedantic here.
bebfcc039ac367b99dae8588fd77814a737f1784_full.jpg


Actually the original statement IS true even if it was used in the wrong context. The phrase "like gold dust" means something is hard to find because so many people are seeking the same thing, so the statement is valid. However it is used to support the advice to go to the place where the resource is scarce, which is contradictory.

So - "Don't move to Silicon Valley because jobs are like gold dust there"

LIKE GOLD DUST | meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary
Click to expand...
I guess your correct but Gold Miners have an expression: "Everyone finds a little gold dust."
 
ThisGuyIsThisGuy said:
VR? What's that? What do you suggest I do? At the moment, I'm living with my family and we are all working to take care of each other, including myself. Where are you from, friend?
Click to expand...


VR is Vocational Rehabilitation. Do not go to work until you speak with a "Benefits Specialist".

If you do go to work, you will lose health care. If your disability effects your ability to work long enough and hard enough to be able to get a good job with full benefits, then you will have to pay into the Exchanges.

If you cannot work long and hard enough to make enough to pay all the co-pays, deductible, and premiums, then you will be in a very hard place, as a person who has a disability. If you are cured, great! Then you won't need health care and you can be like the rest of the middle class Americans and buy into some catastrophic plan with a $10,000 deductible and just NEVER ever ever go to a dr.

Most plans, even the Bronze, can be about $200 and month plus all sorts of other costs, like co pays, deductible, premiums, and uncovered things....

But as you were disabled enough to be on SSI till you are 30, then you better be really careful. America is not a place where people can move out of Disability and not risk your actual life. In other countries, you might be able to try. You might lose housing, money, and help , etc. But only in the US can you actually lose your LIFE because health care is attached to your benefits. Brilliant.

So yes, call VR and ask to speak to a Benefits Specialist and do not make a move till you do.

If you need any more info, feel free to ask.
 
Mattymatt said:
This is simply not true and not very good advice. Silicon Valley is an incredibly difficult place to make it. The pressure to produce is intense and the environment is challenging enough for a neurotypical, let alone someone on the spectrum.
Click to expand...

It is also ridiculously expensive to live there, and many startups pay engineers next to nothing, promising them a share in the company when it goes public.

A few years ago, I got a call from a headhunter wondering if I would be interested in joining a startup in San Jose. He couldn't tell me what the product was, because they hadn't launched it yet. Since the cost of living in San Jose is twice what it is for where I live, I stated that I make $X and if I moved to San Jose I'd need that salary doubled to cover the cost of living. This guy then explained that only the CEO makes what I am making right now and no one makes double that. He then went on to tell me that all the engineers work 80 to 90 hours a week and many sleep on site. I cut the conversation off and said, "Well, I make what your CEO makes, and I get to go home at 5. It sounds like we're not a good match for each other." A few months later, they sent me their product launch announcement. It was ... <dramatic drumroll> ... a nightlight that is also a smoke detector. That's it. That's what a team of people gave all their waking hours for months and months on starvation wages for.

I can't imagine getting anything from Silicon Valley but horror stories.
 
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