Such confusions with phobias. Social phobia or agoraphobia?

[Suzanne]

I was diagnosed with social phobia and it is true that I prefer going out very early in the morning, so as to no danger of meeting people and if I do, then I go out even earlier. Hubby asked why I am so scared of people and I could not answer.

But, I think I also suffer from agoraphobia, because even if I am out side a little way from my home, I cannot wait to get back to the sanctity of my home and visably give a sigh of relief.

There are so many things I miss out on, because of these things, but I just cannot get passed them. It is like I have a huge mental brick wall and even thinking about doing something simple like getting on a bus or going alone, into a shop, I break out in sweat at the idea.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

My only phobia is the feeling of claustrophobia when I am in crowds. Tight places don't bother me, though.

 

[Judge]

I was diagnosed with social phobia and it is true that I prefer going out very early in the morning, so as to no danger of meeting people and if I do, then I go out even earlier. Hubby asked why I am so scared of people and I could not answer.

But, I think I also suffer from agoraphobia, because even if I am out side a little way from my home, I cannot wait to get back to the sanctity of my home and visably give a sigh of relief.

There are so many things I miss out on, because of these things, but I just cannot get passed them. It is like I have a huge mental brick wall and even thinking about doing something simple like getting on a bus or going alone, into a shop, I break out in sweat at the idea.

Nothing "confusing" about it from my perspective. That reflects very closely to a place I was in many years ago, shortly after my father died. Leaving me in "a fog" where I seemed trapped. Until desperation drove me to get back to work in a job that required a fair amount of human contact personally on the office floor and especially dealing with agents over the phone. Plus the help of some prescription pharmaceuticals.

Yeah, there was a time when having to deal with much of any complete stranger left me in a cold sweat. Quite literally.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

You are not alone. Nor are you broken. I have experienced similar things to what you describe. For me it seems to get worse during periods of prolonged isolation, or on those days where I do everything wrong(twice!). I really like nature and being in the forest, and donot feel fear of being outdoors in general.

If I am in a social setting, the feeling goes away mostly if I can remain engaged with someone who I trust, that is with me.

 

[Thinx]

Sorry you are up against this. Have you spoken about it in therapy? I love to get outside and walk, it lifts my spirits and feels good to do. I wonder if part of what you are up against is historic, from past issues? It's very tiresome for you to have to deal with this. It's good that home is a haven though.

 

[Suzette]

There is another thread today discussing abuse. Many years ago the emotional abuse I faced every day made me feel anxious to be more than a few feet from my door.
That sounds so contradictory. To be afraid if being away from the place where I experienced the most grief and fear. But abuse robs something vital from you.

I could not afford therapy but I recognized that I had to "get over" my state of fear if I was ever going to be strong enough to get out. I started really small. I started taking out the trash every day. Then walking to the front gate. Then walking the half block to the mail box. Then around the block. It took a year of incremental gains but I did do it.

It might be worth trying a small change in your routine like going out in the morning just to see if that feels good. If that feels good, try the incremental approach and see how it goes. You don't have to talk to anyone or even look at them. Just go at your own pace.

 

[Au Naturel]

There is another thread today discussing abuse. Many years ago the emotional abuse I faced every day made me feel anxious to be more than a few feet from my door.
That sounds so contradictory. To be afraid if being away from the place where I experienced the most grief and fear. But abuse robs something vital from you.

I could not afford therapy but I recognized that I had to "get over" my state of fear if I was ever going to be strong enough to get out. I started really small. I started taking out the trash every day. Then walking to the front gate. Then walking the half block to the main box. Then around the block. It took a year of incremental gains but I did do it.

It might be worth trying a small change in your routine like going out in the morning just to see if that feels good. If that feels good, try the incremental approach and see how it goes. You don't have to talk to anyone or even look at them. Just go at your own pace.

Most of the limits in our lives are either learned or self-imposed. The way to get beyond that kind of limit is to keep pushing on it. Over time it will stretch. Doesn't matter what the limit is. But being right there at the limit is scary so you have to develop a mindset that the risk is worth the reward.

 

[Misery]

Phobias and fears are very, very strange things.

Sometimes you fear what you shouldnt, sometimes you dont fear what you should. Often there is no logic.

In my case for instance, something I DONT fear is driving. Ever. I've been in accidents, too, one of which pretty much obliterated the car I had at the time (I was fine though). I've had to drive through absolutely atrocious and dangerous weather conditions, and all sorts of stuff.

But the whole time, I'm just like.... "eh". What's that? Had a near miss at an intersection? Heart rate wont even speed up. When driving I have absolute, total confidence and no fear... that's just how it always worked.

But then we have phobias.

Tell me that I have to go get my blood drawn, and OMG ABSOLUTE PANIC, THE DOOM IS UPON US ALL, THE THORN GOD COMES TO CLAIM OUR BLOOD, THERE IS NO ESCAPE


None of it makes any bloody sense, but fear in general often doesnt. It's not a logical thing and it just takes control.

But that's how it is for most people, even if some will never admit it. So at least know that you're not alone in experiencing things like this. The exact nature of the fear may differ from one person to the next, but still, it's just something each of us has to deal with. And I think being on the spectrum just makes it that much tougher since we're so easily overwhelmed. Certainly doesnt help....

 

[Skittlebisquit]

There is another thread today discussing abuse. Many years ago the emotional abuse I faced every day made me feel anxious to be more than a few feet from my door.
That sounds so contradictory. To be afraid if being away from the place where I experienced the most grief and fear. But abuse robs something vital from you.

I could not afford therapy but I recognized that I had to "get over" my state of fear if I was ever going to be strong enough to get out. I started really small. I started taking out the trash every day. Then walking to the front gate. Then walking the half block to the mail box. Then around the block. It took a year of incremental gains but I did do it.

It might be worth trying a small change in your routine like going out in the morning just to see if that feels good. If that feels good, try the incremental approach and see how it goes. You don't have to talk to anyone or even look at them. Just go at your own pace.

I would add to that a little, gently. There are some places that seem to be blessed, or are known to be. An excursion to places of great beauty or shrines might be fun to try. The ally at my side seems to make a great deal of difference, and the group of allies to accompany me, does even more so