aspieandconfused_87
Active Member
Hello,
So I have been talking to this girl for about a week now, we finally met on Saturday and had a good time together, she offered for me to stay over for dinner but I wasn't hungry yet and I wanted to get back home before it got any later as I had been out since 12 that day and I was ready to go home. I dropped her off at her house and gave her a hug goodbye, she went inside after saying she would like to see me again, later that night we sang some songs together on a karaoke app, we had a good time.
Sunday night we ended up talking a lot, at one point during our conversation I mentioned how I do not really feel empathy with people and that my feelings are are based on logic and analyzing the situation, she got defensive and said I sounded like a psycho by the way I described things, she mentioned that a lot of guys in her past have used the logic and data, spock analogy as an excuse to be rude, or mean, or to treat her poorly, she said that it made it sound like I didn't really care about anyone or anything, I told her that it wasn't like that it's just I can't really connect with how other people are experiencing things, I could tell she was feeling some degree of frustration/anger, she eventually calmed down and explained her point and that she thought I was feeling down on myself or something, I didn't feel down on myself, at not least that I was aware of, I was stating a opinion and observation about myself, after all of that she told me that she liked me a lot actually and it was because I wasn't putting on a facade to impress her or pretending to like her just to hook up, a little confusing to say the least.
Many things were discussed and lots of details was brought up about my past dating life and intimate relations it became clearer to her just how inexperienced I am, I have only had a hand full of girl friends and that was in high school, and they were all short lived but one, and the few intimate partners I have had were all one offs so I never really got to explore that side of things beyond basic stuff, she made it clear that intimate relations was a very important aspect of a relationship she wanted, which I have no problem with, but she also made it very clear that she wants a partner who is assertive and confident and has "swagger" when it comes to intimate relations and that she wants the guy to make the first move, which again I have no problem with at least as far as making a move, the confidence and swagger part on the other hand I would probably struggle with I am sure I will be awkward at least at first, but that I know can be normal even for NT's with a new partner.
Anyways based on the way she ended the conversation and her reaction to a few things that were discussed I would not be in the least bit surprised the she ends things with me soon I am pretty sure that she does not see me as someone she wants to be intimate with now as I have given her plenty of reasons to not want to be with me and I basically told her all of my faults and issues (word vomit), she will probably say she would like to be friends, but I would rather not, at this point I have no obligation or enough investment into things to continue anything beyond what we are right now, yeah we get a long and all but I just don't see the point in being friends after that.
I would like to say that I should just give up on dating but I know that isn't the best thing to do as I will just continue to be stuck in the same cycle and never make any progress, I know I do not always want to be alone but this dating thing sucks so bad and is so frustrating at times.
So I have been talking to this girl for about a week now, we finally met on Saturday and had a good time together, she offered for me to stay over for dinner but I wasn't hungry yet and I wanted to get back home before it got any later as I had been out since 12 that day and I was ready to go home. I dropped her off at her house and gave her a hug goodbye, she went inside after saying she would like to see me again, later that night we sang some songs together on a karaoke app, we had a good time.
Sunday night we ended up talking a lot, at one point during our conversation I mentioned how I do not really feel empathy with people and that my feelings are are based on logic and analyzing the situation, she got defensive and said I sounded like a psycho by the way I described things, she mentioned that a lot of guys in her past have used the logic and data, spock analogy as an excuse to be rude, or mean, or to treat her poorly, she said that it made it sound like I didn't really care about anyone or anything, I told her that it wasn't like that it's just I can't really connect with how other people are experiencing things, I could tell she was feeling some degree of frustration/anger, she eventually calmed down and explained her point and that she thought I was feeling down on myself or something, I didn't feel down on myself, at not least that I was aware of, I was stating a opinion and observation about myself, after all of that she told me that she liked me a lot actually and it was because I wasn't putting on a facade to impress her or pretending to like her just to hook up, a little confusing to say the least.
Many things were discussed and lots of details was brought up about my past dating life and intimate relations it became clearer to her just how inexperienced I am, I have only had a hand full of girl friends and that was in high school, and they were all short lived but one, and the few intimate partners I have had were all one offs so I never really got to explore that side of things beyond basic stuff, she made it clear that intimate relations was a very important aspect of a relationship she wanted, which I have no problem with, but she also made it very clear that she wants a partner who is assertive and confident and has "swagger" when it comes to intimate relations and that she wants the guy to make the first move, which again I have no problem with at least as far as making a move, the confidence and swagger part on the other hand I would probably struggle with I am sure I will be awkward at least at first, but that I know can be normal even for NT's with a new partner.
Anyways based on the way she ended the conversation and her reaction to a few things that were discussed I would not be in the least bit surprised the she ends things with me soon I am pretty sure that she does not see me as someone she wants to be intimate with now as I have given her plenty of reasons to not want to be with me and I basically told her all of my faults and issues (word vomit), she will probably say she would like to be friends, but I would rather not, at this point I have no obligation or enough investment into things to continue anything beyond what we are right now, yeah we get a long and all but I just don't see the point in being friends after that.
I would like to say that I should just give up on dating but I know that isn't the best thing to do as I will just continue to be stuck in the same cycle and never make any progress, I know I do not always want to be alone but this dating thing sucks so bad and is so frustrating at times.