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Featured Spontaneity a problem?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by WereBear, Dec 5, 2017.

  1. WereBear

    WereBear License to Weird V.I.P Member

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    I find this interesting, but I'm not sure it applies to me. Completely. :D I certainly prefer to plan and be informed.

    They say you should live in the present, and “they” form a chorus of voices that is growing in number by the second. Everywhere you turn these days, the message is loud and clear: life is better when you live in the moment.

    I get it; I really do. I know that when I hit that flow state, regardless of what I’m immersed in, time passes in a heartbeat and I tend to really enjoy myself.

    It’s just that I would prefer it if I could plan those moments of flow some time in advance. I want—no I need—to prepare myself for the event of letting go. I need to be mentally ready so that I may jump into the river and let the current take me.

    If I’m not prepared, that river turns out to be less of a serene, meandering brook, and more a surge of cascading torrents that pummel my senses until I’m half-drowned and ready to give up.

    This is why I, the introvert, despise spontaneity in all its forms.

    The Introvert’s Hate/Hate Relationship With Spontaneity

    Heck, if I am doing something I do not like, and get a sudden opportunity to do something I like better... I will leap on it!

    But I am indelibly set up to "live in a time frame." I cannot forget about the future, especially if I am about to do something that is foolish and will mess me up down the line. If I read that something is unhealthy, for instance, it is difficult for me to ignore that, longterm. The thought keeps bobbing up and annoying me, in a way that seems rare from my observations.

    Creative I am. Impulsive and wildly enthused I easily can be. Spontaneous does happen; for more than the person who wrote the above article. But I can see some of myself in their difficulty with not knowing.

    I sure have that.
     
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  2. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Interesting subject. Thanks for sharing.

    In my own case it's one of my traits that puzzles me, being what I consider to be a consummate introvert. Because I can be terribly, yet selectively spontaneous. To a point where I either surprise those who thought they knew me, or are just plain shocked by me.

    One person I worked with for many years even compared me to the character Jeff Daniels played in "Something Wild". A "closet rebel". :eek: :p



    But do I even like being spontaneous? LOL...not necessarily. Yes, it's complicated. :rolleyes:

    Maybe I'm just plain nuts. ;)
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2017
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  3. Warmheart

    Warmheart Something nerdy this way comes Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    What is this “spontaneity” of which you speak? ;)
     
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  4. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    "No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation."

    The Fifth Amendment, Constitution of the United States of America. :D
     
  5. OkRad

    OkRad Well-Known Member

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    If something is planned, it wreck everything. If something is NOT planned it wrecks everything. There is a Kierkegaard quote in there somewhere........BUt seriously, either way, I am screwed.

    I have to do the same thing every single day or I fall into chaos and it's large, massive chaos that takes months to recoup.

    I am fighting some horrific beasts, to be sure. It scares me that ONE DAY bad can lead to , oh, 6 months recovery because it is like I am in a perpetual pushup position over a sea of sharks. I just can't hold it forever, but I do, I do , I do....

    then, something will happen. It is generallly NOT just weariness or that crap. It's llike an accident or having to move, etc....

    Then BOOM, falling into the sharks and getting a limb or two chewed off. .........

    Now what???
     
  6. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    If anyone could grow them back by sheer force of will. It would be you.
     
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  7. OkRad

    OkRad Well-Known Member

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    Fridge, you rock. :) It's lonely up here on this cliff over those sharks, but by god, I keep spitting venom on them ..............Thank you for the vote of confidence........
     
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  8. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member

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    As a worrier I tend to live either in the future pondering what might go wrong or in the past hashing over old problems (again). As a daydreamer I also am often mentally absent. I have learned to keep tabs on the present, especially in company so I am not hit by a car or thought a complete space case.
     
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  9. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    I’ve got a truck load of spare arms and legs from my recent mannequin warehouse heist.
    Was thinking I could fill the sea with them round your way.
    Fill the sea with confusion for those sharks.
     
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  10. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    I guess it can really pay to occasionally have mannequins as your chum. ;)

    Bad pun if you know our slang. :eek:
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2017
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  11. Beguiling Orbit

    Beguiling Orbit Neurotribe Champion V.I.P Member

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    If I were to schedule a session of planned spontaneity, when it came time to do it I would probably hurt myself somehow — pull a muscle or something like that.
     
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  12. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    I suspect most of us live in a world of routines. Stands to reason that spontaneity runs completely contrary to this. Which can amount to anything from a disruption to a catastrophe. Though for myself, spontaneity usually implies something positive, even though it may well likely disrupt my routine.
     
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  13. OlLiE

    OlLiE Active Member

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    i can be spontaneous if a time slot is planned,
    spontaneous for me 'not having made prior plans'
    :)
     
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  14. Katleya

    Katleya A bit of an acquired taste V.I.P Member

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    This. This is exactly it, for me.
    I like everything to be planned and to follow a strict procedure, and I have a very hard time dealing with any change that comes my way... yet at the same time, I can follow suit on an idea that just popped into my mind with such impulse that people will be shocked, and will refuse to believe it just got into me right now, since I'm usually so meticulous about everything.
    How can someone who prepares all of her outfits for the upcoming week, checking weather reports and all, also be someone who reads about a museum somewhere else on a continent and book a flight on a whim? Seems to puzzle people. (The answer being that I then proceed to make a powerpoint to prepare my trip, so by the time the day of departure comes, I'm overly prepared and "processed" as usual).
     
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  15. Gritches

    Gritches Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I heard somewhere that "plans rarely work past step two". I find there's at least a grain of truth to that, because if I over-plan and expect things to go to plan I'm just setting myself up for failure when those plans don't come to fruition. My process is more...organic.

    Instead, I make my plans as general as possible and otherwise let the winds blow as they may. It fits with my "I do whatever I feel like doing" attitude and lifestyle.
     
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  16. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I hate it and I crave it sometimes.

    I don't appear to have a 'constant' regarding spontaneity.


    I've just revamped my bathroom.
    It wasn't planned.
    I made a decision one afternoon, fueled by mood, and went for it.
    The bathroom had been getting on my nerves for a while.
    I did something about that.


    Husband might say "let's go visit such and such a place" just out of the blue

    I'm like "Eh?"

    I'd have preferred a couple of days notice to get myself in the frame of mind to tolerate(?) Enjoy (?) 'such and such a place

    And yet ...

    Waking and knowing I have to do the same again today as I did yesterday and the day before can be soul destroying.
     
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  17. Chance

    Chance "all who wander are not lost" - Tolkien V.I.P Member

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    Maybe it my OCD and not ASD, or a mix of both, not sure?

    I have to plan as much as I can in advance if its something big...
    Being spontaneous? Ummm not so much, and that makes others upset.

    Just let me be me and we are all good... but no thats not what most people do.

    They push and shove to make me do stuff when I would never do it anyway...
    Thinking they are "helping" me when all they are doing is making me very upset sometimes.
     
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  18. isthisreallife

    isthisreallife Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I'm the same as Gracey. My spontaneity comes from my moods, otherwise I need my routines, and anything different needs to be planned.
     
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  19. Ragnahawk

    Ragnahawk Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Living in the moment is a sensing mtbi thing. Look at the group studies of the percentage of sensing types. It is a lot. Second if your an introvert, who thinks inwardly why the heck would you ride the waves of extroverts who literally spout everything on their mind
     
  20. Ragnahawk

    Ragnahawk Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Introverts typically like writing and reading.