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Some dire statistics

Jordy

Well-Known Member
Sexuality in autism: hypersexual and paraphilic behavior in women and men with high-functioning autism spectrum disorder
Suicide and schizophrenia: a systematic review of rates and risk factors
DEFINE_ME
Outcomes for disabled people in the UK - Office for National Statistics
Suicides in the UK - Office for National Statistics

These are some extremely dire statistics regarding autism and relationship success and suicidal ideation. I hope we can drop the just work on yourself attitude and accept that autism is nightmare for most individuals suffering from it.
 
I see your point but what choice do we have? If I give up, sit down and say "the world sucks and everything is hopeless and why try anything", it only gets worse. We all have to fight and try and try again. I don't think we have much choice, not on this planet.
 
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Suicides are have been increasing across the board, that isn't an Autism specific thing, it's a humanity thing. Which in my opinion, is largely effected by totalitarianism.
 
I see your point but what choice do we have? If I give up, sit down and say "the world sucks and everything is hopeless and why try anything", it only gets worse. And self-pity is never pretty, no one wants to see that. It doesn't help anything, it just makes a bad situation worse. Sometimes I want to quit, just quit everything and give up because the world sucks. But that is not something adults can do. We all have to fight and try and try again. I don't think we have much choice, not on this planet.

100% Agree.

We didn't get asked if we wanted to play this game (life).
We didn't get asked if it was okay that we got the "hard" setting.
We didn't get asked if it was okay that we didn't get the manual.
We didn't get asked if it was okay that our toolbelt may have an unusually limited capacity.

What is within our powers, is to play the game anyways, meet other characters, learn more about potentially adapting the game to our own needs, and doing our best to help one another succeed, for united we are stronger.
 
You don't ever have to change your attitude, that's totally up to you. You do seem to kinda seek out the worst case scenario and then live it though. Maybe spend less time with the family members who seem negative and maybe a bit cruel? I'm really glad I moved out when I was 18 and went to University. It was really tough at first yet still I liked it better than being at home.

There is more out there than you think. And I met plenty at university and after who tended to be pretty pessimistic or nihilistic. It doesn't stop people achieving goals, plenty think it's pretty cool to have that kind of attitude. Be who you want to be.
 
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Most people have far less control over their lives than they imagine and far more control over their attitudes than they are willing to exercise.
Been awhile since I saw your posts on here; good to see you again.


invalidating advice about having to change my attitude.

It is mentally draining to voluntarily validate more doomposting--especially if one has been there before, left that place, and then found out that no, it's not this big universal thing that makes autism equal the curse of God or Cthulu or whatever-have-you. It's got a lot to do with a lot of other things.
 
i just don't want people to keep giving me invalidating advice about having to change my attitude.

The reason people keep giving that advice though is because it's important.

After all, if you go into every bloody situation with "I'm going to fail at this" in your mind... how in the pickled heck are you supposed to succeed?

I always give people that very bit of advice, but I aint pulling it out of my butt... I give it to them because I went through it myself. An attitude change was *the* thing that made the difference for me in managing to succeed at things I did. I even managed to achieve a childhood dream... and there's no bloody way I could have had even a ghost of a chance of pulling THAT off if I'd gone in with a "woe is me I cant do this" attitude.

Yet, I still recognize autism as being stuffed full of problems and difficulties.

Again, this sort of advice aint just given at random or because it "sounds nice" or something. It's given because it IS important.

Note, also, that this advice DOES NOT JUST APPLY TO AUTISTICS. It applies to NTs as well. It also isnt specific to any given situation.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The moment you start to believe that you cannot win, is the moment you've already lost the fight. Why would you want to lose before the battle even begins?
 
Been awhile since I saw your posts on here; good to see you again.




It is mentally draining to voluntarily validate more doomposting--especially if one has been there before, left that place, and then found out that no, it's not this big universal thing that makes autism equal the curse of God or Cthulu or whatever-have-you. It's got a lot to do with a lot of other things.

I experienced A Series of Unfortunate Events and temporarily abandoned most of my social media. It is good for your mental health to do so.
 
i just don't want people to keep giving me invalidating advice about having to change my attitude.
There are many different perspectives on any issue. They are all "valid" but they don't give you a complete picture. Changing one's "attitude" is changing the direction you approach something from. Seeing it in a different way. We are all blind people trying to describe an elephant.

Blind men and an elephant - Wikipedia

Giving advice is one of those things most people suck at. It is often given in a condescending way that belittles the problems of the person who receives it. Give me a buck for every time someone has gone the "If only you'd just (fill in the blank) you wouldn't have this problem." I could probably make a mortgage payment with it. Shrug it off.

Some people get all evangelical about their "advice" and insist that they know the Way, the Truth and the Light. They are also annoying.

There's an opposite problem where the person asks for advice but the response is always, "Yes - but...(fill in the blank.)" Usually offered so quickly that I know the person didn't listen to what I was saying but rather spent the time I was talking thinking of a reason it wouldn't work. People who do this are often called "Yabuts." They are just as annoying as the "If only..." people and the evangelicals.

All anyone can do is tell you what worked for them. If it worked for me it might work for you. Do not try to invalidate the advice giver. There is no reason to respond with a "yabut." Advice given with good intent should always be received with careful thought. Maybe it is a philosophy, like Budhism or Stoicism or a psychological approach like CBT or Radical Acceptance. Maybe it is a special interest that is broad and immersive enough to keep you doing positive things instead of focusing on the negative. Perhaps it is just a different way of looking at something or catching an incorrect assumption you might have. There is no advice that will make one non-autistic but there may be useful advice on how to play the hand you've been dealt.

Everything you experience in life is "valid" even if your perceptions can be incorrect.
If I relax my ego enough to listen open mindedly to what is being said, sometimes I can honestly shrug it off as nonsense and sometimes I see enough merit in what's being said to look into it. I could be wrong and I could be right or there could be a configuration where we are both right or both wrong. The most important lesson in life for almost anyone is to accept their own fallibility without letting it affect their sense of self worth. Nobody is perfect - or even close. There is always space to improve.
 
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iu
 
Sexuality in autism: hypersexual and paraphilic behavior in women and men with high-functioning autism spectrum disorder
Suicide and schizophrenia: a systematic review of rates and risk factors
DEFINE_ME
Outcomes for disabled people in the UK - Office for National Statistics
Suicides in the UK - Office for National Statistics

These are some extremely dire statistics regarding autism and relationship success and suicidal ideation. I hope we can drop the just work on yourself attitude and accept that autism is nightmare for most individuals suffering from it.

What is your new profile picture? It looks familiar, it reminds of a blueprint for a sølje.

sølje.png
 
So Apparently ASD people are statistically more likely to have the following.

Exhibitionistic disorder

• Sexual arousal through exposing one's genitals or sexual organs to a nonconsenting person.

No. That's when you get arrested.

Fetishistic disorder*

• Sexual arousal through play with nonliving objects.

hmnn..Nope. I don't think so.


Frotteuristic disorder

• Sexual arousal through rubbing one's sexual organs against a nonconsenting person.

No, I would never do that. That's when you get arrested.

Sexual masochism disorder*

• Sexual arousal by being bound, beaten, or otherwise made to suffer physical pain or humiliation.


Nope...I don't confuse the two. Love & Hate. Apparntly you are left-leaning if you are a male and like this.

Sexual sadism disorder

• Sexual arousal by inflicting psychological or physical suffering or pain on a sexual partner.


Well...That could be fun...if a person is into that...but nothing too excessive. If somebody wanted to be 'manhandled' I could oblige. Apparently associated with right of center males.

Transvestic disorder*

• Sexual arousal through dressing and acting in a style or manner traditionally associated with the opposite sex.

Nope.

Voyeuristic disorder

• Sexual arousal from watching others when they are naked or engaged in sexual activity.

I mean, Who wouldn't' getoff on that...? is that even abnormal?

Pedophilic disorder

• Primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children.

Hell no.
 
You don't get it. You don't have a alternative.

You may allow these obstacles to crush you, or merely test your resolve.

You must fight, you do not have a choice.
Actually no i don have to fight, i can do nothing and die i want to.

I have what the objects necessary to die too so i could leave any day i would want to.
 
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That's right, @phantom - you can insult people, drive them away and keep yourself small, if you so desire.

And keep being lonely and make a self-fulfilling prophecy. That's how it works.
 

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