Social Groups and Extracurricular Clubs for Aspies

[Lysander]

When the idea of orchestrating a social meetup for others with Aspergers first occurred to me (not gonna lie) I kind-of had a nerdgasm.

As it turns out, I actually DO have some modicum of neurological symmetry within my own species, for as I had then found, there are already in existence social groups designed specifically for Aspies.

Such reprieve from the interpersonally cannibalistic qualities to be endured of standard interactions! I had taken heed to consider the potential obstacles, but found, not altogether too surprisingly, that there are cornucopiate examples of successful such groups. All-inclusive and emotionally supportive, these groups tend to focus on an adaptive palette of specific topics rather than, simply, the fact that an interaction is taking place. The neurotypical realm could learn a thing or two.

SO, here I have returned with my finding, to share with other of my kind. Indeed, I plan to have a go at it - there can be no certainty of success, given the rare and independent nature of the autistic community (I don't see our independence as negative, just a reality to acknowledge) - but I have no reason to believe that it would be any more improbable than organizing nonreligious folk (who have been herded, as cats are, with a similar purpose of peaceful solidarity and mutual happiness) or indeed of other Aspie groups I have studied!

Given that you are curious, I suggest searching the "Meetup" website for groups in your area.

Feel free to share your reaction, encouragement, advice, feelings, and thoughts.

 

[Randomperson]

Thank you for the suggestion, but when I search for meetup groups within 50 miles of my zip code nothing pops up, and that is searching for all meetups, sometimes I really hate living in the this far beyond the middle of nowhere.

 

[Lysander]

Thank you for the suggestion, but when I search for meetup groups within 50 miles of my zip code nothing pops up, and that is searching for all meetups, sometimes I really hate living in the this far beyond the middle of nowhere.

I found - or maybe didn't find - the same thing. I live in a small community too - nothing is arranged yet. In fact, I guesstimate that all of the African Americans in my city could stand comfortably in one large room. Still, I see this as an opportunity . . . come to think of it, I bet web conferencing is on the move too. Technology these days! It's fun for everyone, but I think Aspies might be getting a better deal than the average person with the advent of diverse social devices.

 

[Randomperson]

I found - or maybe didn't find - the same thing. I live in a small community too - nothing is arranged yet. In fact, I guesstimate that all of the African Americans in my city could stand comfortably in one large room. Still, I see this as an opportunity . . . come to think of it, I bet web conferencing is on the move too. Technology these days! It's fun for everyone, but I think Aspies might be getting a better deal than the average person with the advent of diverse social devices.

Maybe, but it is extremely lonely not having any "in person" friends or like minded individuals to do any sort of activity with.

 

[Lysander]

Maybe, but it is extremely lonely not having any "in person" friends or like minded individuals to do any sort of activity with.

Yeah, I agree. . . and there's nothing like a welcome hug. They're just so damn hard to come by.

It's also really hard to get started with making friends, too - because people evaluate through comparison so often, I think, and I know I've often felt impeded by not already having friends. For instance, if someone made a great first impression, but had malicious friends, that would provide the sought-after message indicating whether to move forward or back out. . . and that's just part of what makes it so complicated.

Have you looked for other activities that interest you? For me, it's easier to be around new people when we're focused on something else. . . like the view while out on a hike. There's no obligation to sign up for life if you don't like it - I hope that comforts somewhat.

 

[King_Oni]

I voted "probably not" but then again, I'm wondering what exactly you're aiming at, since that seems a bit unclear.

But the general notion of getting together with aspies in particular for extracurricular activities doesn't feel like something I personally would need.

Then again; I was on a dutch autism forum for a while and they often had meet ups and I read some comments and "reports" from those. I don't know... it just didn't feel that appealing to me.

 

[Dwayne]

A few of us recently formed a local group and had our first meeting last Saturday. It was great! We could hardly believe how much we have in common. I was almost instantly at ease with everyone since they "got" me. We spent three hours just talking and comparing. Now we need to figure out some activities.

 

[Daniel]

Great timing on this thread... I went to my first Asperger's meetup last night. I had a really good time. There was a starter topic, but beyond that, the conversation was free to develop organically.

It was the first time I'd ever been around more than one spectrumite at the same time. I definitely noticed the difference in the dynamics of the conversation compared to typical group interactions. Very comfortable, everyone listened well, and one could share at whatever length and depth felt comfortable. Varied perspectives, but open minds!

 

[Rich Gray]

Great timing on this thread... I went to my first Asperger's meetup last night. I had a really good time. There was a starter topic, but beyond that, the conversation was free to develop organically.

It was the first time I'd ever been around more than one spectrumite at the same time. I definitely noticed the difference in the dynamics of the conversation compared to typical group interactions. Very comfortable, everyone listened well, and one could share at whatever length and depth felt comfortable. Varied perspectives, but open minds!

I know two other people with Aspergers. Both are fun to talk to at parties. I have a friend who, before he had a kid, would throw a party once a month or so. He would also have people over every Wedsnesday to watch Japanese cartoons. Lots of interesting and intelligent folks showed up.

I get most of my social integration via playing D&D every other week with friends. I suppose I am lucky to have them.

Currently I have been going to Star Trek: Attack Wing tournaments. I have had mostly good experiences. I suppose I lower my neurotypical camouflage when thinking competitively. Sometimes people think the lack of eye contact, and awkward body language means I am up to no good.

I may need to let the judge or store owner know I have Aspergers, and tell them what it is. At one shop I won 7/10 tournaments, everyone is pissed off at me, and thinks I am cheating (I am not). One guy threatened to punch me, and then the judge (a volunteer) said he wanted to punch me too.

 

[Lysander]

I know two other people with Aspergers. Both are fun to talk to at parties. I have a friend who, before he had a kid, would throw a party once a month or so. He would also have people over every Wedsnesday to watch Japanese cartoons. Lots of interesting and intelligent folks showed up.

I get most of my social integration via playing D&D every other week with friends. I suppose I am lucky to have them.

Currently I have been going to Star Trek: Attack Wing tournaments. I have had mostly good experiences. I suppose I lower my neurotypical camouflage when thinking competitively. Sometimes people think the lack of eye contact, and awkward body language means I am up to no good.

I may need to let the judge or store owner know I have Aspergers, and tell them what it is. At one shop I won 7/10 tournaments, everyone is pissed off at me, and thinks I am cheating (I am not). One guy threatened to punch me, and then the judge (a volunteer) said he wanted to punch me too.

Oh Sh** - that's an intense reaction. . . but. . . haha, what sore losers.

Way to go, smacking them all at Star Trek: Attack Wing.

To move forward a little more politely (still laughing, haha) I like the idea of prior communication while in a directly social and competitive engagement. I empathize with you here; in situations in which others have harboured an elevated tendency toward suspicion (whether because of a competition or because they're just paranoid in general) I have often been unusually singled out due to atypical social registry.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I'm leery of any social function, and not because I wouldn't find this kind of gathering uninteresting. I am less in love with the air conditioner than everybody I meet excluding elderly women on blood thinners.

 

[Poppet]

I would love to join some kind of social meetup group, but I haven't found anything for adults or young adults in my area (which is Charlottesville, VA. If anyone knows of any groups out here please let me know!)...
I also looked for a group on Meetup (and a general Google search) in Seattle when I was living there over the summer and only found one active group and it seemed kind of small (which to me implied that they all knew each other and I would be the awkward newbie who would feel like a random third wheel). I wish I could find some kind of social group or even just a support group for people around my age. All that I do ever see (if anything) are groups for parents with little children on the spectrum, or severely handicapped individuals trying to learn the basic life skills (like daily living skills support groups that I would be really out of place at and probably even seem a bit insensitive to try to fit in to)...
I wish I could find a group I would fit into because I would really like to make some friends I could relate to in this aspect of my life...

I read somewhere about an autism retreat. It sounded awesome at first but after looking into it a little the only info I found (which wasn't much) made it basically sound like a hotel environment where people went to basically be alone or hang out in their secluded tight knit groups... Not really what I'm looking for since I'm the only aspie I know in real life.

 

[paloftoon]

Groups for adults are hard to come by, especially when you're not near a big city. It takes a lot of responsibility to run even a simple run if you want it to continue. Meetup costs money. I guess you could also try your luck with Yahoo Groups, Facebook groups, and I think there are Google Groups too.

 

[curtis cline]

I guess face to face meetings are ideal. But for rural aspies maybe facebook groups are something. I left facebook as it was even more socially awkward than real life...but I pissed off eveyone with my long obsessively detailed posts. I dont get normal people at all. But I once worked at a firm that had 100 programmers and had a goid friendship with a cpl who were able to think and talk at the same level. I am confused by people who say they have Aspergers but like a hug. I shun physical contact except for the obvious exception...which I rather enjoy. But I do like to talk to people who get me. I often go for months without a decent conversation...which is a bit lonely. So I kind of understand the need o meet.