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Featured social anxiety is a nightmare

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Suzanne, Jan 22, 2021.

  1. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    The one thing that causes anxiety and confusion, is unknown places; situations and people and that is what I have to deal with next tuesday, in order to stay in France!

    No doubt many have heard of brexit? Well, when it first entered the news, I thought: ah, my chance to return to my birth country and now, here I am, having that chance, but reckon it is wiser to stay put and so, have to get a residency card to be legal here in France.

    I stupidly asked a couple of people I know, who have already had their appointments and now, waiting for their cards, because I know there are stairs and that is one nightmare to me and at the top of the stairs, is a door which will be opened by a chap, who will take my husband's and my tempertures and then, we can only go in one at a time and have finger prints taken. It only lasts a short time, but for me, so scared of making a fool of myself and my coodination is dire, so if I have to go in first and then, go out, I might just fall down the stairs or even go through the wrong door. Really, my intelligence goes out the window, so to speak.

    Hubby suggests I take my document that proves I am on the autism spectrum and perhaps they will allow us in together, since we will have had our temperatures checked and I so hope I am ok, but the other day, I regretfully, let a lady into the house, to talk about our electricity. She was wearing a fabric mask and I know those are not affective. I was wearing the medical version, but was a little too close to each other, because as, is common, sometimes I do find myself too close to a person, especially when I feel out of control.
     
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  2. Mary Terry

    Mary Terry Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I think you'll be fine, Suzanne. You seem a very competent, thoughtful person to me. I never thought about what Brexit does to expats like yourself living in Europe. How long can you stay in France with the residency card?

    Here in the US, they are recommending that we wear double masks (such as one of those blue hospital masks with a cloth mask over it) or a n95 mask that only medical personnel seem to have. We're lucky to have some n95's and I'm trying to save them for situations where I know I'll have to be close to people. So I'm doing the double masking from now on. Hopefully, we can get vaccinated soon.
     
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  3. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Wishing you all the best with this post Brexit nonsense
     
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  4. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    10 years.

    I am trying to tell myself that I have been in hospital a few times here and had to deal with things on my own and succeeded. My problem, though, is when I am not alone, I do tend to allow the other one to take charge and become stupid in the process.

    As for vaccination, I do not want that, so I am hoping that I will not be forced.
     
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  5. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    They don't want to know much about you Suzanne, it's just a production line to them, they will have procedures and a script, just follow instructions. You'll do fine.
     
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  6. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    Ask yourself this: Why does it even matter if you do something like open the wrong door?

    I 100% guarantee you: nobody at this place you're headed to is going to give even .00001% of a fart about something like that. Most wont even notice.

    I do stuff like this all the time since I tend to be a bit airheaded and spacey, and indeed, nobody cares or notices. Unless I do something that is somehow loud, which will get a mildly confused and very brief glance from someone near, and that's the extent of it.

    This is coming from someone who has done things like walk into a Walgreens in full costume (I was at an anime/gaming convention) because I was too lazy to change just for that short interaction. Even then... the cashier's entire response was that sort of dead-eyed look that someone who has been bored out of their mind for 6 hours gets.

    Most people are too absorbed in their own little world to care about stuff like this.

    Also you're not going to fall down the stairs. Just hold the bloody rail.
     
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  7. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Your mind is creating little minefields because the big unknown is are you staying vs leaving. That thought is scary and you have zero control so it's easier to obsess about other details. l do this regularly like clockwork.
     
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  8. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I know and the contradictory part is that does not sit comfortably either. I rather be seen as a human, over just another object passing through.
     
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  9. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Ask that all the time and STILL get freaked out at the thought and so, end up not. It is like I have weights on my feet.
     
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  10. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Exactly! MOST, which means the other part do look and pass judgement and sadly, here in France, it is very common to stare, as I am not French.
     
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  11. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I'm in a similar position to you. Except that mine involves going to the police station, and that makes me very nervous.
     
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  12. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    Your husband will be right outside if you need him and you can leave the room at any time.

    For all of the imagined scenarios you're anticipating pre appointment,
    the opposite could also be true.

    You may stumble on the stairs?
    You might not?

    You may panic without your husband?
    You might not?

    We can never really know what's going to happen until it happens.

    That "stupid" you mention happening when you're alone in unfamiliar environments is anything but.

    It's a fantastic evolutionary process helping us to survive.
    Okay, there maybe nothing during your appointment that's threatening to kill you but your brain doesn't know that.

    The level of stress and anxiety you'll experience will trigger a 'fight/flight' response.
    We don't need all of our memory when primed to run like the wind and evade danger.
    "Stupid" is just unavailable memory while the brain prioritises resources. - adrenaline to muscle, heightened senses.

    Forgetting how to complete a form, write your own name, engage in social etiquette and niceties or if a door pushes or pulls to open is pretty normal at such a high level of anxiety, I think. :)
     
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  13. Mary Terry

    Mary Terry Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Ten years is a long time so that's good.

    One tip - when they fingerprint you, you need to relax your hands so they can roll your individual fingers on the paper. You'll turn over to them the rolling of each finger. I assume that is how they will take your fingerprints because that is how they did it when I was fingerprinted as part of the background investigation required to obtain a law license in the US. Maybe there is a more modern way to photograph fingerprints that I don't know about.
     
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  14. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Thanks so much everyone for taking the time to post.

    Feeling mentally better today, about it. Just panicked when I first found out what is involved but after praying to my God, Jehovah, I feel calmer.
     
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  15. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    May you know the peace of Jehovah
     
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  16. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    A wonderful spiritual sister actually took the time to write out a detailed diagram for me, with all the information that I need to know. So, first, temperature is taken, then have to wash hands and then hand in passport and two photos and then use my right hand and press firmly down and then, my two thumbs.
     
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  17. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Why the police station?

    We had to fill in an online form and prove that we have been in France for the length of time we stated, which is around 19 years now and also a document that is less than 6 month's old. And then told that if we got an email with a date, then they have accepted our documents and yeah, we got the date.

    Can fully get why you would be nervous. Police always scare me, but that is due to childhood lies.
     
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  18. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    That's where they issue residence permits. It would be really great if they could do it online!
     
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  19. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I wish that for you too.

    Here it is at the prefacture. Which I think is the town hall in English.
     
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  20. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I spent most of the night in prayer to my Heavenly Father, Jehovah, due to excess anxiety for the impending visit for residency card and finally, got up earlier than usual, but anxiety was manageable.

    My panic was, stangely enough, the thought of having a fever and then not understanding what they were saying and fumbling about in my panic.

    I stood in front of a machine and signed with utter relief when the lady said that you are ok. No fever. I was then shown to a waiting room, whilst my hubby went first.

    I thought: he is taking a bit too long. Oh no, what does that mean? Is there a lot of things to do?

    He came out of a room and suddenly disappeared, which panicked me again, but soon my name was called and I sat facing a really charming young man and as usual, I had what I needed in my hand. Passport and two pictures. Signed my name and thanks to a sister, knew what to do with fingers, so did that and he said: all done, merci. Actually, it was all in French and feel rather proud that I could understand and respond in French. After that, no worries with where to go ( terrible coordination), because there were a few members of staff who guided me and voila relief at last. So now, have to wait for a month, for our residency cards, which means, we are entitled to all that the French are.

    Oh, I am covered 100% in all health for 10 years, because of being on the spectrum.
     
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