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So...I just found out I may have a 37yo step-sister

Jorg

Jorg

Well-Known Member
Well...I don't know how to start, I kind of confused. I have spent the lockdown with my parents and as any other person the stress and anxiety of being indoors just has made us a little stressed. As I am used to be indoors, not going to much it is not a problem for me, but I have seen my parents argue more often, I have always know they're like dogs and cats but idk, I just ignore it.

Now, this morning they argued as always but my mom was really upset, we went to my brothers house to drink coffe and talk about it, aaand apparently I have a step sister from my father, apparently she doesn't want to meet us, but I have no problem with that.

I guess the real problem I have right now is that I always saw my father as a responsible, honorable, kind of figure. From him I learned to be organized, responsible, and to do the right thing, now, is like my world was a kind of lie, idk...

Apparently my "new step-sister" was born like 2 years after my parents got married and like 1 year after my older brother was born. Until now, he was, I think, the only brother who really new of her, I don't know if my other brother knows....

I know, and I think I have made the desision, that nevertheless, I will not try to find her, I have lives almost 30years without knowing, and it shouldn't change who I feel I am, but it bothers me that I saw my father like a honorable guy, not doing mistakes or when he did it, try it to solve it...
 
It's a shock. Right now, things are hard. Maybe take a deep breath and just hold it together. Maybe down the road, you can decide about asking your father about it or not. My ex was crushed that his father didn't want to meet him. His father just moved away and started a complete new family leaving two sons behind. One was a pretty well-known artist.
 
Crossbreed said:
Wouldn't your dad's daughter be your half-sister?
Click to expand...

I really don't know the term in english (my native language is spanish), In spanish the term (translated) is half-sister, but I didn't know if that was correct in english, so I wrote "step-sister" thinking they were the same, sorry.
 
Believe that the stigma that used to exist when I was growing up, of children born outside of marriage has been slowly eradicated over the years. People hid their alliances and someone's younger sister or brother may have actually been their own child. With divorce and separation as well as IVF (in-vitro fertilization) perceptions have changed.

Discovered recently that a grandparent before the war, and marriage had an entire family in another country. Then another in another country. Fascinating to know that entire family trees exist outside of the ones we knew.
 
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Mia said:
Believe that the stigma that used to exist when I was growing up, of children born outside of marriage has been slowly eradicated over the years. People hid their alliances and someone's younger sister or brother may have actually been their own child. With divorce and separation as well as IVF (in-vitro fertilization) perceptions have changed.

Discovered recently that a grandparent before the war, and marriage had an entire family in another country. This when a sibling received a dna test for christmas and an aunt appeared claiming a close connection. Then another in another country. Facinating to know that entire family trees exist outside of the ones we knew.
Click to expand...

Agree, but in my country , being mostly catholic (and living in like the most religious province) it is still like weird, don't get me wrong, it happends, I have a 2nd cousin whos father didn't raised him, he got his mother's last's names and his younger brother is for another father. Still my cousin grew up great and he's doing a PhD in someting related with biologic engineering in France.

And apparently not even my grandmother (my father's mother) doesn't know about it either, the news about it would probably kill her. She was fourios when one of my uncles got divorced years ago.
 
We ALL make mistakes, don't hold that against him. We all fall at some point.
 
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