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So hard to achieve!

Suzanne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I am trying to be registered as disabled and so, have to visit a psychiatrist, which I am doing, but each time I go into that room, I have a huge battle with myself.

Show my true self in all its nakedness ie stimming etc,

Stick to that mask and behave as though everything is ok.

I feel so damn vunerable in that room and as though I am on a stand in court, to test if I am authentic.

Of course, if I want financial help, I need to go in there raw. But, how on earth do I cope with showing myself how I really am?
 
I think you are just going to have to be yourself. Now isn't the time to mask or fake anything. I understand how vulnerable you will feel - like being naked in front of strangers - but you need to do it if possible.
 
It sounds difficult for you. It seems like you should be as much yourself without masking as you can, and at least try to tell them that it is hard for you to do. I'd say try not to worry about it as much as you can (which is not easy I know from experience) and do your best. I'm rooting for you.
 
Completely understandable. Most of us know the cost of taking away our own mask. And just how hard it may to do it, even to seek legitimate help.

"Naked in front of strangers". -A good metaphor indeed.

But "Ya gotta do what you gotta do" to get where you need to be.
 
I do know the answer, but sure do appreciate all of you responding to my thread.

Just need to reconcile myself to the fact that to get what I need and what, I must reveal the inner me, which I always hide ( not evil lol) All my negativity about myself, which I try to hide, has to come out, in order for things to happen.
 
I completely understand, Suzanne. I am having this battle many places in my life, wondering if and when it is ever okay and safe to release the mask.

Would it be helpful at all to you to think about how many unique behaviors a psychiatrist has seen? A psychiatrist will see many different people with many different unique behaviors, and they probably are used to seeing folks like yourself, and folks like me. Even better, they are likely desensitized from watching people stim, rock, show anxiety, and much more intense things. You probably won’t shock them.
 
Sometimes demasking can be hard, especially when you do so by instinct. I know in my diagnosis there were some things that were missed or noted as non-issues because at the end of the day, the doctor's office isn't home, and I've conditioned myself to put on certain masks in certain environments by default.
 
Why would you not show your true self to a psychiatrist who needs to see your true self in order to get you registered? At least tell them you're having a difficult time shaking your mask.
 

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