Smell triggers help!

[Purple_Bug]

I have a sensitive sense of smell. The smell of my step daughter really triggers me. She has had issues with washing but her parents now say it’s resolved. Except I can still smell her enough to put me of my food and it makes me angry and irritated when she’s around. My 4 year old autistic son is also bothered by her smell and I get challenging behaviour from him because of it.

my partner can’t smell it. In fact this morning when I said please ask her to wash he told me she had a shower this morning. It’s starting to look like I just don’t like her and am being nasty.

can anyone relate? Can you smell smells no one else can? What do I do?

 

[SimonSays]

I can relate. I struggle with cigarette smoke, especially inside. I don't much like coming across it outside, but smokers have to smoke somewhere, but inside, I find it very difficult to tolerate.

There are other smells I can't stand; body odour is difficult to deal with. But If I've said something, and things don't change, if I don't accept it, I'm going to suffer. I have to get creative. I've got to do something to make it easier for me because I can't expect the world to revolve around me as much as I would like it to.

It is difficult to eat when you can smell what seems to be unnecessary. Like someone hasn't emptied the bin, or as you experience, seems not to have washed. It feels like it shouldn't be that way, something could be done very simply and I wouldn't have to suffer any more. And yet what about somebody who is incontinent, who has to wear those incontinence pants. I've been in queues in the shops behind old women, and the smell of stale urine is difficult to stand. But they’re doing their best. They just have an issue. They still have to go shopping like everybody else.

So while BO is very difficult to tolerate, if you can stop blaming her for being that way and just accept that you are hyper sensitive to it. Perhaps you could put some air fresheners around or light some incense, or even sit in another room or outside. Come up with some creative solutions to minimise the effect it has on you, and that starts to change the way you feel about it. Shift from being an angry victim to finding peace.

 

[Gerontius]

CovID-19 masks can be your secret weapon. Take peppermint oil or oil of wintergreen & put a tiny drop inside the mask. (Not to be confused with crazy housewives shilling for Young Living.) This is an old trick that doctors and nurses use when confronted by some of the smells in the operating room--like gangrene. Maybe it would work.

 

[SimonSays]

CovID-19 masks can be your secret weapon. Take peppermint oil or oil of wintergreen & put a tiny drop inside the mask. (Not to be confused with crazy housewives shilling for Young Living.) This is an old trick that doctors and nurses use when confronted by some of the smells in the operating room--like gangrene. Maybe it would work.

A bit tricky to benefit from it while eating, but for other times, a great idea.

 

[Thinx]

I'm not sure how old your step daughter is, but it's possible she's not yet washing as thoroughly as she might. How is your relationship with her? It seems like you feel you can't talk to her about this, is there a reason for that? I was wondering why you discussed the issue with your partner, rather than with the child or young person herself?

Do you think maybe your relating with your stepdaughter could be improved, so that you could handle issues like this and resolve them?