Skipping classes

[convallaria]

I can't bring myself to go to school. I can not study. I can not concentrate on learning. I hate medicine, I hate the education system, I hate classmates, teachers. Nothing interests me. I have never been interested in learning these subjects, but earlier I just forced myself to study because I was afraid. I was afraid that I am nothing without a university. This is the only reason why my parents sometimes treat me as a person and allow me to live in this apartment.
Maybe you had similar problems? I think this is related to autism. How to stop skipping classes?
I will not go to a psychiatrist because I do not want to spend money, it is too expensive, and my parents do not give me money even for treatment.

 

[Judge]

Higher education is not for everyone, despite what some think. Though I'm inclined to think it has nothing to do with Neurodiversity, either.

Yet so many seem to excel when offered the alternative of going to a vocational school for a much shorter time, in comparison with a major commitment to a university for years.

I've done both. If I could do it again I would have likely bypassed going to a university altogether, and gone straight to a trade school. Of course hindsight is always 20-20.

 

[Monachopia]

You might just not be in the right mental state to learn right now... and that's ok. My first year of university... sounds a little like yours. I skipped class, I had to retake two modules, it was all too much, I was severely depressed. Thing is, I realised at 19 I was probably not quite ready for it all yet. There are options to take a step back and defer the next two years if you can't pause this one. You can take some time out, focus on your health even if you find a part-time job in the meantime and then go back to Uni when you're ready be it in a year or more's time. It's not going anywhere. You need to be better first and then make a decision.
Also, remember Uni isn't for everyone. There are many successful people who didn't even go. =)

 

[Fino]

You described exactly how I felt in high-school. For college, I did better, but I also took several long breaks, and it took me eight years to graduate under-graduate school.

 

[Theta.G]

What are you interested in?

 

[Peter Morrison]

I'm glad you are posing your dilemma to all of us here. We have many shared bad experiences with education. If you want to get back to a good state of mind in school, you need to adjust your attitude and focus only on the goals that benefit you. Don't let any negativity interrupt your ability to concentrate. Hence, the attitude adjustment. If any one of us had a chance to go back and do things differently, we would. At the time, we didn't understand our options and we didn't understand ourselves. If you want to finish well, you need to embrace your classes and do the work, even if it is hard at times. The flip side can also mean that you are truly not ready for school because you can't see the purpose. It's hard enough for us to function in the real world without having depression and lack of motivation breathing down our necks. Think carefully about any decision to quit. It also makes no sense to try half-heartedly, only to have to repeat a class after missing the opportunity to get through it once, properly. It's about having your own motivation. If you want the degree you have to do your best. You'll never be sorry for trying your best. Eye on the prize, as they say. Make it all about you, nobody else.

 

[Gritches]

I agree with @Sportster ; it certainly sounds like you're overwhelmed.

My long-term psych has been pushing me to go back to college, but with a less-than-full-time class load, maybe half-time. Yes, it would take longer to get a degree, but us-all-people do tend to get overwhelmed and can express it in harsh ways. What you describe is exactly how I feel when I'm overwhelmed.

My point: it's better to go half-time and take twice as long than it is to burn out, crash into the ground, and end up with nothing at all.

 

[BraidedPony]

I always loved school. I loved the desks, pencils, pens, paper and the books! I loved having everyone sitting quietly in rows. I love learning.
After graduation I worked in different universities and would take free classes in subjects I didn’t even like just to go.
But, I did take a few years off after high school because I was burned out and wanted to party with my boyfriend which was even more fun than school! Lol
I can’t really imagine NOT having a year or two off to relax.

 

[Fino]

I always loved school. I loved the desks, pencils, pens, paper and the books! I loved having everyone sitting quietly in rows. I love learning.
After graduation I worked in different universities and would take free classes in subjects I didn’t even like just to go.
But, I did take a few years off after high school because I was burned out and wanted to party with my boyfriend which was even more fun than school! Lol
I can’t really imagine NOT having a year or two off to relax.

I know how you feel! I love the idea of school! It's the reality of it when all the humans are forced to be involved that's the problem.

 

[BraidedPony]

I avoided psychology type classes as much as possible, but they are required for any degree along with algebra, English, a foreign language, sociology...

 

[Fino]

Wow! Opposite for me! Psychology was often the only class I attended in the year of high-school I took it!

 

[TempeFan]

When I graduated high school, I had a scholarship and no other options. My best friend had a job, a fiance, and divorced parents who each would have welcomed her to live with them. I had no where else to go. I neither liked nor disliked school. It was just all I ever had, since I never had a home.

College was also a complete waste of time and money! Being a great student who graduates with honors does not result in lasting employment unless you also have the demographics, connections, and social savvy to fit into an NT world. Back when I graduated, being a female with a Bachelor's degree in Business Adminstration was the definition of unemployed. Nowadays, it's easier for a woman to get a lower paying job, especially in the traditionally female professions, and even possible to get a shot at whatever one has the interest and training to do. For a woman on the spectrum, keeping a job requires being the best or in some cases the only authority in your field or else being mediocre and generic enough to fly under the radar, which means always behaving exactly as expected. Nothing will get you fired faster than excellent job performance which "messes up the curve" and in most professions, spending more time doing your job than in socializing is signing your own dismissal slip.

If you are going to invest in a college education, it is imperative you pick just the right field of study for you. If you are to have any chance of a sustainable career, you must pick something you are really interested in doing AND, more importantly, something you can do in a way than an employer is willing to let you do it. Take your time and do your research. Examine your options. Free career counseling is available in most school systems. If you can't stand going to a 4 year university, get your degree online, take a shorter course at a vocational or trade school, learn on the job as an apprentice, apply for an internship, try it before you buy it. Don't do anything before you answer the first all important question below:

What are you interested in?

 

[convallaria]

Thank you all for the your help and attention!

Higher education is not for everyone

My parents thinks that higher education is for everyone and i just not try hard enough. They think that I complain too much. "Why is the daughter of our friends graduated from the university with a red diploma, can play the piano, knows 10 languages, and you can't do this? Are you stupid?" They expect too much from me because I learned to read early, went to school early and was smarter than my peers in childhood.

Yet so many seem to excel when offered the alternative of going to a vocational school for a much shorter time, in comparison with a major commitment to a university for years.

I would like to go to this kind of school as an alternative to the university. But earlier I did not think about education and just went where my parents said so as not to be responsible for my personal choice.

You might just not be in the right mental state to learn right now... and that's ok. My first year of university... sounds a little like yours

In the first year of study, I did not understand at all where I was and what was happening. I did not even remember the names of all the subjects that we studied. Now I am in the third year and everything just got worse.

You can take some time out, focus on your health even if you find a part-time job in the meantime and then go back to Uni when you're ready be it in a year or more's time

I would like to do this! and thought about taking a sabbatical. But my parents will never allow me to do that. So if I'm going to leave the university, I will have to say goodbye to my family.

What are you interested in?

Nothing. Nothing useful. I like to watch movies or sometimes play games. Listen to music? I rarely write stories and lyrics.

The flip side can also mean that you are truly not ready for school because you can't see the purpose.

Maybe this is true. I do not see any reason to study, to work where I do not like. Motivation is zero.

College was also a complete waste of time and money! Being a great student who graduates with honors does not result in lasting employment unless you also have the demographics, connections, and social savvy to fit into an NT world.

So I think. What is the point of study if I can't socialize and work with people?

 

[Monachopia]

In the first year of study, I did not understand at all where I was and what was happening. I did not even remember the names of all the subjects that we studied. Now I am in the third year and everything just got worse.

I would like to do this! and thought about taking a sabbatical. But my parents will never allow me to do that. So if I'm going to leave the university, I will have to say goodbye to my family.

I'm sorry to hear things are tough for you... It isn't fun when you're having to push yourself through something just to get to the end... I do believe that university shouldn't be pushed on people right after school, it's often the case that they don't know what they want to study yet or they're just not ready for it. Your parents don't sound very supportive either in the grand scheme of things... They must want you to do well and care, but seems they're going about it in the wrong way.

Have you reached out to campus health and wellbeing services? Most universities offer a way to get help for free, be it counselling or some extra help with the coursework. Have you talked to any lecturers? There is usually a Year leader who can be reached out to if you're having problems and they usually will try to help somehow. I'm very reluctant to ask for help, but if you don't say anything no one will know and you'll feel more isolated... I'm on my third degree (talk about self-punishment...) and last year was my final year, but I was struggling so much that I asked for help and coursework extensions. No lecturer or course leader wants their students to fail, so there is a way to make things work for you if taking a break isn't an option. I'm in the UK and don't know where you are studying, but usually there will be support resources available.
I hope things get easier for you. <3

 

[Graphin]

Sounds like the asian stereotype.

Sometimes getting a completely new approach to thinking about a subject might help, but that sounds very bad

 

[Mr Allen]

If I could've, then 31 years ago I would've gone to a different secondary school, only down side of that would be that I wouldn't have met my ex and her annoying Brother.

 

[Theta.G]

Nothing. Nothing useful. I like to watch movies or sometimes play games. Listen to music? I rarely write stories and lyrics.

How much school do you have left? In this case it might be better just to bite the bullet and continue school. You may not see any use it now, but it could be very useful in the future. If you are studying "medicine" aka drugs doesn't necessarily mean that you have to become a doctor and hand out pills. Doesn't really mean that you have to become a chemist and synthesize new drugs.

However... lets just say in the future once school is completed you don't know what to do with your life in you get more involved with writing. Well then you'll have a Phd or whatever else degree to slap on the front of the book by your name and you could even use what you learned from school in that book. Or perhaps you start writing for a medical television show if you have a degree to back you up it amplifies your credibility because that's how a majority of the professional world measures ones knowledge and expertise. Yes it is wrong but you have a chance.

I would say you could become a youtuber but that would be a bad idea and false hope. Could have your own music channel with customized backgrounds and graphics or you could become a twitch or youtube gamer but in all honesty you won't get anywhere without a ton of persistence (Years of consistency without getting paid) and a stellar on screen personality.If you play into youtubes social justice agenda and follow all the rules you may be able to get put on a pedistal with a viral video. Hand picked by Youtube. But that is a longshot and depending on your views you may just be selling yourself out then get stuck having to act as someone you aren't.

In the mean time, during those classes you skipped maybe you can try a few new things in your spare time and see what resonates with you. Your parents will still pay for your housing and you get time to explore options. Once you have found something you like and are able to sustain yourself financially you can drop the "I don't want to effing study medicine" bomb on your parents. lol

 

[Iamnotarabot]

Can't you choose another degree next year? Try to contact your universtiy to choose something else than a medical degree?
Maybe I got it wrong and you are not at unni yet.

Talk honestly to your parents if you dont like your current orientation.You can find something else.
Why do you hate your current degree in the first place? you dont want to work in that field?

Dont waste your time, Its been 8 years that I am stuck at unni because I dont know what to do and I'm old now, dont do that mistake.

 

[Fino]

For most of my years through college I didn't know what I wanted to do after community college and people would constantly ask me and I would say something like, "I don't know, it'll come to me! Still got X years left!" And then the same when I transferred to a university, what I would do when I graduated. And the number got smaller and smaller each time and whenever it came to the point that I needed to know, I did know! Magic!

 

[convallaria]

I'm sorry to hear things are tough for you... It isn't fun when you're having to push yourself through something just to get to the end... I do believe that university shouldn't be pushed on people right after school, it's often the case that they don't know what they want to study yet or they're just not ready for it. Your parents don't sound very supportive either in the grand scheme of things... They must want you to do well and care, but seems they're going about it in the wrong way.

Have you reached out to campus health and wellbeing services? Most universities offer a way to get help for free, be it counselling or some extra help with the coursework. Have you talked to any lecturers? There is usually a Year leader who can be reached out to if you're having problems and they usually will try to help somehow. I'm very reluctant to ask for help, but if you don't say anything no one will know and you'll feel more isolated... I'm on my third degree (talk about self-punishment...) and last year was my final year, but I was struggling so much that I asked for help and coursework extensions. No lecturer or course leader wants their students to fail, so there is a way to make things work for you if taking a break isn't an option. I'm in the UK and don't know where you are studying, but usually there will be support resources available.
I hope things get easier for you. <3

My mother got married at my age and believes that I am already an adult. When I say that maybe I am not yet ready for university life and work, she says that I'm just too lazy. I think my parents want the best for me. But it seems to them that it is better to have a child with prestigious job and a diploma of higher education than just healthy and kind child. They are materialists. They raise me the same way their parents raised them. I have no right to blame them for that.
In our university there are no such services. But my university is literally a hospital. I am study (not study as you can see) on the hospital grounds. But even if you are a student, they won't cure you for free. One of the teachers asked why I lost so much weight in a few months. I honestly admitted that I took fluoxetine and she suggested that I go to a psychiatrist who had her daughter treated. This was the only teacher who was worried and was trying to help. All the others just mocked me, saying that if I do not want to study, then I have no place here. "If you have any problems - go away, we do not need problem students here."

How much school do you have left? In this case it might be better just to bite the bullet and continue school. You may not see any use it now, but it could be very useful in the future. If you are studying "medicine" aka drugs doesn't necessarily mean that you have to become a doctor and hand out pills. Doesn't really mean that you have to become a chemist and synthesize new drugs.

If we count this year, I need to study for another 4 years + 3 years of internship. My specialty is a doctor. Previously, I did not care who will be in the future, I thought it bad everywhere, so what difference does it make where to study? Now I am sick of everything related to medicine.

However... lets just say in the future once school is completed you don't know what to do with your life in you get more involved with writing. Well then you'll have a Phd or whatever else degree to slap on the front of the book by your name and you could even use what you learned from school in that book. Or perhaps you start writing for a medical television show if you have a degree to back you up it amplifies your credibility because that's how a majority of the professional world measures ones knowledge and expertise. Yes it is wrong but you have a chance.

I would say you could become a youtuber but that would be a bad idea and false hope. Could have your own music channel with customized backgrounds and graphics or you could become a twitch or youtube gamer but in all honesty you won't get anywhere without a ton of persistence (Years of consistency without getting paid) and a stellar on screen personality.

In the mean time, during those classes you skipped maybe you can try a few new things in your spare time and see what resonates with you. Your parents will still pay for your housing and you get time to explore options. Once you have found something you like and are able to sustain yourself financially you can drop the "I don't want to effing study medicine" bomb on your parents. lol

Sounds very inspiring. I like it. But more like a dream. Is it real? I am not so talented.