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shutdowns vs meltdowns?

psychotopsy

psychotopsy

Active Member
Hello.
I experience what I think are shutdowns from time to time. I get irritated, can't talk or find talking extremely difficult, feel exhausted when it happens. It gets better when I get to spend time on my own and stim in a preferably dark place with no sounds that would irritate me.
I have understood that meltdowns are a more outward experience and shutdowns are more inward. I don't recall having anything like a meltdown in the past 10 years or so though. Is it common to experience one more than the other? Is there anyone else here who gets shutdowns but not meltdowns?(or vice versa)
 
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For me, yeah. Sure.

I can shutdown periodically. Meltdowns are something I very rarely experience. It would take a lot for me to lose it to the point of experiencing a meltdown.
 
Life is hard for me at the minute. I shutdown every single day. So i've learnt how to minimise the effects and bring to to an end as swiftly as possible. I know what will make them worse. Some days i melt down too. But because they have happened a lot recently i've learnt how to put then on hold. But as soon as it's not so inconvenient it all comes out, i can't hold it back any longer.
 
And as far as i can understand it, my meltdowns look like toddler temper tantrums on steroids. Things get broken and i tend to hit things or head butt things and remember very little about the day afterwards. For me shutdowns take the form of not being able to speak or make any noise. To help these, I have to not over-do it or try to talk too early in the day, or put myself in a situation where i am expected to speak to people. I kind of ease myself into talking. Kind of make humming noises first, then manage one word at a time and usually it progresses from there.

Sorry i should have put that in my last post on this thread.
 
I force myself into shutdowns, elsewise I'd more regularly have meltdowns instead of shutdowns. I'd rather it count and get the point across when I do get really angry rather than everybody dismiss me with "oh, she's just mad again".
 
I have shutdowns far more often than meltdowns. I agree with AsheSkyler that the former can prevent the latter, and I think many of us get better about avoiding full-blown meltdowns with age.
 
I haven't had a meltdown since I was in my early 30's, that's almost 20 years. I do shutdown when I'm too stressed, to over stimulated. For me that's not talking, not doing anything, going to my bedroom and sitting on the bed cross legged and waiting until I can speak and, feel like moving again.

I do more stims with my feet than my hands and, am doing those most of the day, every day (unless I'm standing or walking of course.) That's why I hate shoes with closed heels or toes, I can't twirl my toes together and swish my heels back and forth over the sole of the shoe in those.

For me, a meltdown is a violent affair. I scream, throw things, lash out at people and hit or kick them and, break things. The last time one happened, I sent a band mate to the emergency room because I broke a heavy glass ashtray over his head. I broke four windows out of the tour buss by smashing them with the same band mate's guitar, which was also destroyed in the process. I didn't remember much of it but, my bodyguard who handcuffed me and tied me in my bunk told me what I had done.

At the time we all took it for a small breakdown, and I skipped the next concert to rest. We thought that was what I needed. I think it was stress, it was my first stadium tour and, only four gigs into it and, my first time being in the Middle East where there are so many restriction on what females can and cannot do. I was terrified I would do something that would get us all thrown out of the country.
 
I had a lot of meltdowns when I was a child, but fewer as an adult. If I'm out with my partner with friends, I often find that at the beginning I can talk and be cheery, but after while I can no longer keep this up. I find it hard to talk and his talking begins to hurt me, I wish him to stop talking. I can barely manage one-syllabic sentences, and I withdraw into myself. It happens with other social situations too - I start off being able to talk and then after a while I no longer can, and I just stop talking. It happens a lot when we go out on an excursion somewhere, not so much at home. Sometimes I feel tired and lethargic, too.
 
I am aware that a full blown meltdown in public could end up badly for me, and at my age, bending over for the soap is a trial in itself without adding 'Big Tony'.

Like others here, I have learnt the wisdom of shutdowns, although I occasionally misjudge my timing.
 
I always thought I was just a misanthrope until I learned about shutdowns: I can be great company and enjoy people for one day of a trip but after that...it's physically painful to talk and I can't get my mouth to say things properly. I always sound angry when I can manage to talk at all, and my body gets rigid and later my muscles ache like I've been weightlifting, all over. On the forth or fifth day, I really can't speak at all, without a huge mental effort, and then only simple things. It takes days to recover from just a three-day trip visiting family.

Now I know this is a shutdown coming on. But I don't have any strategies for managing my family and friends' expectations. They don't understand I need time alone, even when I try to explain it. And that sometimes, on day 3, all I can do is be with them physically, not mentally. They find it painful to watch and I find it painful to disappoint them.

Either I need a good excuse or I need to limit my visits. Probably a mix of both.
 
Harrison, I can imagine. I have actually seen what happens when "Big Tony" as you put it, gets in the middle of his human having a meltdown.

My friend, DJ [nickname] lost it at his first professional audition when they asked him to dance and, he had not planned on having to dance as well as sing. Dj's guitar went flying, unfortunately the guitar strap caught Big DJ on it's way across the room. Add wailing in pain to a normal meltdown.

The talent scouts thought he had gone mad, I'm sure. I tried to explain that he had anxiety that was triggered by surprises in small spaces (which the audition room was) but I don't think the believed me.
 
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Harrison said:
I am aware that a full blown meltdown in public could end up badly for me, and at my age, bending over for the soap is a trial in itself without adding 'Big Tony'.

Like others here, I have learnt the wisdom of shutdowns, although I occasionally misjudge my timing.
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Is 'Big Tony' your name for a meltdown?
 
Harrison said:
No, 'Big Tony' is the guy standing behind me in the prison showers waiting for me to pick up the soap. Where I'd end up if I had a full meltdown :D
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Oh, I see, I would never have guessed that. I'm not very good at picking up on references. Is it a commonly used expression?
 
Harrison said:
I believe so, although Big Tony can be replaced by any other available inmate :)-
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Yep. Some Hollywood equivalents: "Wolf" (Escape From Alcatraz) or "The Sisters" (Shawshank Redemption) ....:eek:

Being a "fresh fish" in much of any prison seems a likely place for a meltdown.
 
I do both. I shut down when I get too overwhelmed/stressed. I usually melt down when I get really mad like if plans have been changed at the last minute, when something comes up that I need to do at the last minute or (as immature as it sounds) when something doesn't go my way. Then a shut down usually follows a meltdown. I'm 30 years old and its so embarrassing when this happens, I hate it :(
 
amarie. said:
I do both. I shut down when I get too overwhelmed/stressed. I usually melt down when I get really mad like if plans have been changed at the last minute, when something comes up that I need to do at the last minute or (as immature as it sounds) when something doesn't go my way. Then a shut down usually follows a meltdown. I'm 30 years old and its so embarrassing when this happens, I hate it :(
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awh that's unfortunate :disappointed: don't worry though, it doesn't sound immature. at least not in the context of a meltdown that you can't help. it is a pity though that a lot of the things aspies/autistics can't help doing are perceived as immature.
 
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