Should I proceed with diagnosis for my 3 year old?

[Sunset81]

Hi ,
My son is almost 3. He is at the point where he has been referred for assessment for ASD as the Paediatrician suspected he had some traits.
From my own instinct, I think he would be on the lower end of the spectrum.
He can read, has a brilliant memory, can count to 100, all that sort of stuff.
Anyway, I am really torn about whether to go ahead and get him diagnosed as it is likely he will get a diagnosis, or should I wait. I feel like 3 years old is so young to label him.
Also what are the implications of getting a formal diagnosis? Will there be any negative affects from this? What are the benefits to getting a diagnosis?
I am also thinking of the future and that I may have to sit him down and tell him about him having ASD and how this might affect him psychologically.
I am so confused and don't know what to do. He starts nursery in September and I am thinking should I wait and see how he gets on there and what his teacher thinks?
Basically I don't want to get a diagnosis and regret it when in my mind, his ASD is quite mild.
Any advice would be welcome as I have no experience in this sort of situation. Thank you

 

[menander]

I would go to a very good neuropsycholgist and ask for a very thorough neuropsych exam. I say this because if there are any differences, one slight one could handicap him for life. I have a "specific learning disability" on top of the autism. The autism did not disabled me. The SLD did and I never knew. I just kept going round and round and failing and never knowing why. I was astounded when I had the autism assessment and they discovered the SLD. I never expected what they found.

I cannot tell you the difference knowing that would have made in my life. I would have had an entirely different life and not one filled with unexplained and mysterious failures despite seeming smart enough.

Do it. I implore you. He may not have the resources to do it when he is older.

A good nuero-psych will keep the records hidden and no one will know but you and your son if he needs to know.

What location are you? Maybe we can help you find an truly outstanding neuro psych that will not cut corners and help you.

 

[AngelaS267]

Do it now. Early intervention is the best solution. and I agree with the first response. Get someone who specializes in Neurodiverse disorders. Getting misdiagnosed or having just one thing ignored or missed could defeat the purpose all together and set him back tremendously. Good luck, and I hope the little guys is okay.

 

[Nervous Rex]

I agree with @menander and @AngelaS267. The sooner you know, the sooner you can make adaptations to help him.

Throughout the process, I encourage you to learn to have a growth mindset, if you don't already (you can just google "growth mindset" for definitions and articles). That will help you focus on what your son can do and can learn. Rather than focusing on autism as a limitation, you can learn what approaches help him learn best and what strategies help him best cope with challenges.

Also, try to instill the same growth mindset in him, so that when you tell him about autism, it will be to help him understand why certain approaches and strategies work for him, not why he can't/shouldn't try certain things.

 

[Aspertastic7]

I agree with the answers above too. I don't know how it works in your country, but here it's an advantage if you get diagnosed with some sort of ASD before the age of 5, as you then have the right to apply financial help from the invalidity insurance when it comes to therapies and stuff due to the fact that it will be categorised as a "congenital defect".

 

[Ezra]

You'll have to weigh out the pros and cons. There's the advantage of establishing an early safety net and early intervention, and the possible disadvantage of being labeled early. Then again if there's the likelihood of eventual diagnoses, then the earlier the better. My being diagnosed at 3 put me into a special category. But also I was diagnosed as severely autistic.

 

[Sunset81]

Thank you so much everyone who has replied. I live in Northern Ireland.
You have convinced me to go ahead and continue with this process. He is being put forward for a hearing test and also he has an appointment with ear , nose and throat doctor just to rule out any speech problems. Goodness knows how long it will be anyway before he gets an assessment with this Covid 19 going on.
Best of luck to you all x

 

[Crossbreed]

I am also thinking of the future and that I may have to sit him down and tell him about him having ASD and how this might affect him psychologically.

Frame it as "You think differently than most people." (When he gets older, you can give him more specifics.)

Test him for intellectual giftedness, too. Request a non-verbal IQ test.

Those that I know about have a minimum age requirement of 5yo, but they may have others.

 

[Sunset81]

Thank you Crossbreed, that is great advice.

 

[sparks]

Hi Sunset81
My 3yr 10 month old son has recently received a formal diagnosis. His mother always wanted an assessment but I was like you, I was a little worried that a diagnosis would label him.
My son was just over 3 yrs old when his assessment began. We where advised to put him into a nursery so that his behaviour could be observed. During his time at nursery it was obvious that he had certain issues and we had to move him to a quieter more structured nursery with less children.
Over the past year his issues have become more pronounced.
Getting a formal diagnosis has helped financially, we get a payment to help with his special needs and he has been granted an EHCP to help and support his education up until he is 25 yrs old if needed.
I am now extremely glad that we had him assessed, just reading his case notes opened my eyes to the challenges he may face. To me, he seemed fine but I believe that I too have the same issues so I wouldn't readily recognise them.
My son will be starting school in September and we have been advised to place him in a special needs school initially and see how he gets on with a view for him to attend main stream school in the future.

 

[ExplosiveTMT]

Frame it as "You think differently than most people." (When he gets older, you can give him more specifics.)

This is what my mum did with me.

 

[ExplosiveTMT]

i think the best way is to get it diagnosed, so that it's done. The earlier you do it the sooner you can do your best to get support networks in place so that when later down the line your son faces greater social challenges (for example, heading off to primary school for the first time, which from my personal experience was pretty stressful change for me) there are avenues of getting him help when he needs it. My advice is to keep asking support services if they can get a referral and i won't say be mean with them about it, but send them reminder emails or phone calls every now and again to remind them that your son needs to see them. Maybe your GP can be asked of what places he can refer your son aswell.
I would also advise to keep in mind doctor to check your son to see if he has other co-morbid conditions such as anxiety in depression aswell. But i won't say that's a thing you need to look at now, but you can keep it in mind for if things get challenging later in his life. Anxiety and depression have a pretty high rate of occurences people with asd. Plus there's other people's advice in this thread.
And there's also plenty of personal stories on here and in the resources tab there's books and guides on what asd/autism/asperger's is. And you can always post more questions on this site as years go by.