Hi,
I have just recently gone through the process of having my 9 year old assessed for autism and should have the results soon. The reason I left having him assessed for so long was because my older son who is now 15 seemed to have way more indicators for autism, but when I suggested it to his nurse/doc/paed/anyone they didn't seem to want to hear it, and I figured if he didn't have autism then my younger son couldn't.
So I'll give you a history of my 15 year old.
From the moment he was born something wasn't right. He would cry non stop. I'm not even exaggerating. The only time he wouldn't cry was when I had my boob in his mouth and he wouldn't take a dummy or bottle or anything other than the breast. If I wanted to shower he would scream the entire time. I slept with my boob in his mouth, it was the only way I could get any sleep. In addition to this he only slept for around 8 hours a day. What newborn only sleeps from 8 hrs? I asked the nurse about this and she came over and sat there watching him scream, but nothing ever came out of it. She never gave me any advice, medication, nothing. As he got older he refused to try any foods or try the bottle. It wasn't until he was 18 months we finally got him to eat custard and a few months later we got him off the breast and onto a sippy cup. For the first 18months of his life all he had was breastmilk. I told the dr and nurse about this and he was referred to a paediatrician and dietician and I had a social worker come out for a while. We had to wait on a loooong waitlist to see the paediatrician and I'll get to that later.
He also didn't talk other than a few words until he was 4 years old. He was referred to a speechie but by the time he came up on the wait list he was already speaking and I wasn't aware that there could also be language problems even if he was speaking so I told them I no longer needed the appointment.
Meanwhile, while waiting for the paediatrician he was an extremely fussy eater. The only thing I could get him to reliably eat was noodles and pasta and ofcourse anything junk food. I was still seeing the dietician at this time who gave me advice like "just keep trying" and "just give him what he will eat", but never suggested something else might be going on.
He had a lot of behaviour problems, he would have angry outbursts for no reason, he would bite for no reason, he would bang his head on the wall or the ground repetitively. He got expelled from daycare for biting. Apparently this had never happened before and the daycare was reprimanded and had to take him back. He loved breaking things and pulling things apart. Anything he got, a toy, clothing, furniture, he would try to break straight away. At school he would try to deliberately annoy kids and then laugh. He would pull down his pants and chase people around the playground.
He would seek a lot of sensory stimulation. He loved spinning around, climbing and thrill seeking. I remember waking up one morning to a rumbling on the roof, went outside and found him running back and forth over the roof! He would fill his pants with sand and walk around with it. He would eat soap, dirt and other non food items. At school he would eat glue and erasers. I tried taking them away and he would steal them off other kids and eat them. He never slept. He could literally stay up all night. I think his record for not sleeping was three nights. He learnt to go to the toilet quite by about 4, but by 5 he was withholding and becoming constipated. He was eventually diagnosed with encopresis. But he would walk around with poo in his pants and not even be bothered by it. He would also take it out and smear it on walls etc. and he did this right up until the age of about 12.
So when he was about 6 we finally got to see the paediatrician. During the assessment she kept criticising my parenting skills. Saying I was too permissive with my then 3 year old because I allowed him to play with the toys in her office. She found a wart high up on my 6 year olds bum and told me I had to get him tested for stds. (He didn't have any and it was extremely embarrassing to have to go in for these tests) She found that he had low iron and vitamin d and put him on supplements. She told me to get parenting classes and that was about it.
I pretty much broke down after this point I had been waiting so long to get help with him and I had been told all his behaviour issues were to do with my parenting. I stopped trying to get help after this point because it just seems like no one was listening to me or taking me seriously.
My son continued to struggle with all aspects of life. Failing every year of school, yet they kept pushing him forward. He would have intense relationships that would fizzle out after a few months and then those kids never wanted anything to do with him. he continued being a fussy eater, having angry outbursts, pooing himself, eating non food items, being destructive etc. etc. and I just did my best to cope.
Then at around 12 everything changed. It was like a switch went off. He started to try new foods, he stopped pooing himself, he stopped being so hyperactive. In fact he did the opposite and went really quiet. He found a friend and he has maintained that friendship til this day. I don't really know what caused the change. Maybe it was puberty, but it was also at this time we introduced him to the guitar and he was a natural. He loves that guitar and plays it for hours a day. So I thought maybe he just needed something to keep him occupied and to help channel his energy.
Now he still has a few issues. Like he is incredibly shy. He just grunts when people talk to him (which could just be a teen thing) and he refuses to get a job because he doesn't want to talk to people. He also has no interest in working in the future. All he wants to do is play guitar. (He also has an interest in scootering and parkour, but they aren't as intense as with the guitar). He is still failing school and his teachers claim he has the ability but just doesn't put in the effort. I don't think he even has the ability. I've been trying to teach him what a noun is and he just doesn't get it.
So I wasn't sure if his issues were caused by autism, because why would they just suddenly disappear? I thought maybe I could get him assessed because if he does have autism he will get extra help with school etc. but I also don't want to waste their time if there are more needing children out there waiting to be assessed.
So do you think it's worth getting him assessed? Can autistic behaviours change over time for no reason? Could there be another explanation for his earlier behaviour? Does autism display differently in teens?
I have just recently gone through the process of having my 9 year old assessed for autism and should have the results soon. The reason I left having him assessed for so long was because my older son who is now 15 seemed to have way more indicators for autism, but when I suggested it to his nurse/doc/paed/anyone they didn't seem to want to hear it, and I figured if he didn't have autism then my younger son couldn't.
So I'll give you a history of my 15 year old.
From the moment he was born something wasn't right. He would cry non stop. I'm not even exaggerating. The only time he wouldn't cry was when I had my boob in his mouth and he wouldn't take a dummy or bottle or anything other than the breast. If I wanted to shower he would scream the entire time. I slept with my boob in his mouth, it was the only way I could get any sleep. In addition to this he only slept for around 8 hours a day. What newborn only sleeps from 8 hrs? I asked the nurse about this and she came over and sat there watching him scream, but nothing ever came out of it. She never gave me any advice, medication, nothing. As he got older he refused to try any foods or try the bottle. It wasn't until he was 18 months we finally got him to eat custard and a few months later we got him off the breast and onto a sippy cup. For the first 18months of his life all he had was breastmilk. I told the dr and nurse about this and he was referred to a paediatrician and dietician and I had a social worker come out for a while. We had to wait on a loooong waitlist to see the paediatrician and I'll get to that later.
He also didn't talk other than a few words until he was 4 years old. He was referred to a speechie but by the time he came up on the wait list he was already speaking and I wasn't aware that there could also be language problems even if he was speaking so I told them I no longer needed the appointment.
Meanwhile, while waiting for the paediatrician he was an extremely fussy eater. The only thing I could get him to reliably eat was noodles and pasta and ofcourse anything junk food. I was still seeing the dietician at this time who gave me advice like "just keep trying" and "just give him what he will eat", but never suggested something else might be going on.
He had a lot of behaviour problems, he would have angry outbursts for no reason, he would bite for no reason, he would bang his head on the wall or the ground repetitively. He got expelled from daycare for biting. Apparently this had never happened before and the daycare was reprimanded and had to take him back. He loved breaking things and pulling things apart. Anything he got, a toy, clothing, furniture, he would try to break straight away. At school he would try to deliberately annoy kids and then laugh. He would pull down his pants and chase people around the playground.
He would seek a lot of sensory stimulation. He loved spinning around, climbing and thrill seeking. I remember waking up one morning to a rumbling on the roof, went outside and found him running back and forth over the roof! He would fill his pants with sand and walk around with it. He would eat soap, dirt and other non food items. At school he would eat glue and erasers. I tried taking them away and he would steal them off other kids and eat them. He never slept. He could literally stay up all night. I think his record for not sleeping was three nights. He learnt to go to the toilet quite by about 4, but by 5 he was withholding and becoming constipated. He was eventually diagnosed with encopresis. But he would walk around with poo in his pants and not even be bothered by it. He would also take it out and smear it on walls etc. and he did this right up until the age of about 12.
So when he was about 6 we finally got to see the paediatrician. During the assessment she kept criticising my parenting skills. Saying I was too permissive with my then 3 year old because I allowed him to play with the toys in her office. She found a wart high up on my 6 year olds bum and told me I had to get him tested for stds. (He didn't have any and it was extremely embarrassing to have to go in for these tests) She found that he had low iron and vitamin d and put him on supplements. She told me to get parenting classes and that was about it.
I pretty much broke down after this point I had been waiting so long to get help with him and I had been told all his behaviour issues were to do with my parenting. I stopped trying to get help after this point because it just seems like no one was listening to me or taking me seriously.
My son continued to struggle with all aspects of life. Failing every year of school, yet they kept pushing him forward. He would have intense relationships that would fizzle out after a few months and then those kids never wanted anything to do with him. he continued being a fussy eater, having angry outbursts, pooing himself, eating non food items, being destructive etc. etc. and I just did my best to cope.
Then at around 12 everything changed. It was like a switch went off. He started to try new foods, he stopped pooing himself, he stopped being so hyperactive. In fact he did the opposite and went really quiet. He found a friend and he has maintained that friendship til this day. I don't really know what caused the change. Maybe it was puberty, but it was also at this time we introduced him to the guitar and he was a natural. He loves that guitar and plays it for hours a day. So I thought maybe he just needed something to keep him occupied and to help channel his energy.
Now he still has a few issues. Like he is incredibly shy. He just grunts when people talk to him (which could just be a teen thing) and he refuses to get a job because he doesn't want to talk to people. He also has no interest in working in the future. All he wants to do is play guitar. (He also has an interest in scootering and parkour, but they aren't as intense as with the guitar). He is still failing school and his teachers claim he has the ability but just doesn't put in the effort. I don't think he even has the ability. I've been trying to teach him what a noun is and he just doesn't get it.
So I wasn't sure if his issues were caused by autism, because why would they just suddenly disappear? I thought maybe I could get him assessed because if he does have autism he will get extra help with school etc. but I also don't want to waste their time if there are more needing children out there waiting to be assessed.
So do you think it's worth getting him assessed? Can autistic behaviours change over time for no reason? Could there be another explanation for his earlier behaviour? Does autism display differently in teens?
People would look at me funny anywhere I went with my trail of children. I saw another paed after her who was just as bad. *Trigger Warning* He walked in and pulled my sons pants down and bent his legs up to look at his bum without even speaking to him or trying to explain what he was doing first leaving him traumatised. He then told me I was selfish because I no longer wanted to physically hold my son down, while he was screaming and crying, and force enemas on him. This is why I avoided trying to get help for my kids for so long. I was terrified of what would happen.
