ghostie
Active Member
I'm trying to find a career that I can live with and that also will pay enough to let me stay in my current apartment and the thing I'm trying to do is to learn programming. It's going ok I guess, I understand the programming parts well enough usually, but I really struggle to get through the course because I have a hard time understanding what the people are asking me to do. It's taking me so long to get through this course.
Then I found a local company here that hires people on the spectrum, but then on their website they list all these great things the autistic people can do and all I can think is that I just got the sensory problems and no idea about social anything but also I got severe learning disabilities (diagnosed when I was in college taking mechanical engineering which I was always getting 85-95% in so I laughed it off) but really, I do suck at learning, and I suck at thinking, and I just generally feel dumb because I can't make my brain think and no one understands when I say that but I just think maybe I'm too dumb to be autistic because everyone's always talking about gifts that autistic people have but I didn't get anything like that.
Then I found a local company here that hires people on the spectrum, but then on their website they list all these great things the autistic people can do and all I can think is that I just got the sensory problems and no idea about social anything but also I got severe learning disabilities (diagnosed when I was in college taking mechanical engineering which I was always getting 85-95% in so I laughed it off) but really, I do suck at learning, and I suck at thinking, and I just generally feel dumb because I can't make my brain think and no one understands when I say that but I just think maybe I'm too dumb to be autistic because everyone's always talking about gifts that autistic people have but I didn't get anything like that.