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Should I be smarter?

ghostie

Active Member
I'm trying to find a career that I can live with and that also will pay enough to let me stay in my current apartment and the thing I'm trying to do is to learn programming. It's going ok I guess, I understand the programming parts well enough usually, but I really struggle to get through the course because I have a hard time understanding what the people are asking me to do. It's taking me so long to get through this course.

Then I found a local company here that hires people on the spectrum, but then on their website they list all these great things the autistic people can do and all I can think is that I just got the sensory problems and no idea about social anything but also I got severe learning disabilities (diagnosed when I was in college taking mechanical engineering which I was always getting 85-95% in so I laughed it off) but really, I do suck at learning, and I suck at thinking, and I just generally feel dumb because I can't make my brain think and no one understands when I say that but I just think maybe I'm too dumb to be autistic because everyone's always talking about gifts that autistic people have but I didn't get anything like that.
 
Go ahead and apply for work at the local company that hires autistic people. Who knows what your experience might be!

You are worrying too much about something you have no control over - how "smart" you are. What really matters is not test results but real-world abilities, and you won't know those strengths until you try.
 
I'm trying to find a career that I can live with and that also will pay enough to let me stay in my current apartment and the thing I'm trying to do is to learn programming. It's going ok I guess, I understand the programming parts well enough usually, but I really struggle to get through the course because I have a hard time understanding what the people are asking me to do. It's taking me so long to get through this course.

Then I found a local company here that hires people on the spectrum, but then on their website they list all these great things the autistic people can do and all I can think is that I just got the sensory problems and no idea about social anything but also I got severe learning disabilities (diagnosed when I was in college taking mechanical engineering which I was always getting 85-95% in so I laughed it off) but really, I do suck at learning, and I suck at thinking, and I just generally feel dumb because I can't make my brain think and no one understands when I say that but I just think maybe I'm too dumb to be autistic because everyone's always talking about gifts that autistic people have but I didn't get anything like that.
if there are asking you to do something repetitive I bet you will find it very easy to do, I would like to do something for a very small part of the week but nobody would hire somebody for that length of time.
 
Go ahead and apply for work at the local company that hires autistic people. Who knows what your experience might be!

You are worrying too much about something you have no control over - how "smart" you are. What really matters is not test results but real-world abilities, and you won't know those strengths until you try.

I know I should, and I think I will, I just need to finish learning to program first.

And if worrying too much qualified as an autistic superpower, it would definitely be mine.

Thanks for the support.
 
if there are asking you to do something repetitive I bet you will find it very easy to do, I would like to do something for a very small part of the week but nobody would hire somebody for that length of time.

I definitely did enjoy the most repetitive tasks at my last job. The problem was I would get very stressed out when I didn't have the information I needed to finish my repetitive tasks.

Have you looked into if there are any resources in your area that help people find work? It seems like there should be some sort of program nearby that would know of places that needed part time help.
 
You sound worried enough to be autistic... my experience has been there's a range of jobs I can do, and some I enjoy. You just need to find the right mix for you. Then I find I have to get used to the people and the work place. And vice versa I suppose!
 
I do suck at learning, and I suck at thinking, and I just generally feel dumb because I can't make my brain think and no one understands when I say that but I just think maybe I'm too dumb to be autistic because everyone's always talking about gifts that autistic people have but I didn't get anything like that.

that's how I feel much of the time. It's as if I either know something, because I read it before or I don't in which case my brain refuses to puzzle the answer together and just stands there like a deer in the headlights. I also suck at picking out relevant details when given reading material, I usually pick things that no one would ever ask and belly flop on the things I should have learned.
I am very intuitive when it comes to music or art, but intuition is not something I like to rely on because there are no facts behind it.
 
that's how I feel much of the time. It's as if I either know something, because I read it before or I don't in which case my brain refuses to puzzle the answer together and just stands there like a deer in the headlights. I also suck at picking out relevant details when given reading material, I usually pick things that no one would ever ask and belly flop on the things I should have learned.
I am very intuitive when it comes to music or art, but intuition is not something I like to rely on because there are no facts behind it.
I'm sorry you have to feel that way too. It's a bit of a comfort to know I'm not alone because what you wrote is just how I feel too.

Thanks for all the support guys. I might have just been being too hard on myself, it's been a long day. But I have made a bunch of progress this week so maybe I should be a bit easier on myself.
 
I'm sorry you have to feel that way too. It's a bit of a comfort to know I'm not alone because what you wrote is just how I feel too.

Thanks for all the support guys. I might have just been being too hard on myself, it's been a long day. But I have made a bunch of progress this week so maybe I should be a bit easier on myself.
Because it was getting easier I was about your age when I started to think like that it could correlate with the ages in Britain when people start wanting! to have children!!!!! I don’t mean let’s clarify relieving stress by sexual intercourse as autism is common in Britain there could be a correlation
 

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