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Sense of Humour?

Monachopia

...spiral out... keep going.
Do you have a sense of humour? If you do, do you think you LEARNED it and why, or is it something more innate - i.e. natural sense of timing and punchline?

I guess, the reason I ask is, that, my father has always been a humorous man, he retains and tells jokes a lot, but it's more trigger based, so when an event happens it triggers a memory for that particular type of joke or punchline. I suspect he's on the spectrum, but he's never been diagnosed and neither will he ever do so.

I, on the other hand, cannot for the life of me retain stories or retell them, however, I do think I'm quite funny situationally - I can see a funny side to most things and say something at that moment and people do find it funny. But, I learned it as a coping mechanism and to fit in. I can't always deliver them well, as apparently my voice is flat (even though I don't hear it as flat?), so sarcasm doesn't carry over well. All my life I've been accused of being too serious, so it might have been a fight against that perception.

So, in a sense, do you think for Aspies is it a learnt behaviour to cope with the world? Or is it something that just happened because they were naturally drawn to see the funny side of things? Does one need a 'funny' gene (if there is such a thing) to even develop this?

Also - is there a perception that Aspies CAN'T be funny or don't get jokes?

Sorry if this post didn't make much sense, in made more sense in my head before I wrote it...
 
I struggle with most people's idea of humour. I find banter really hard, don't cope at all well with teasing or winding up. and often don't get jokes based on memes or pop culture references. I also tend to take things literally, and often don't pick up on sarcasm. People think that I'm too serious and not 'fun', or that I don't have a sense of humour, but it's not true, it's just that my sense of humour is different to theirs.
 
My sense of humor is something I was born with. I don’t really tell jokes though, not in the sense that I repeat jokes other people made. My humor is mostly conceived on the spot. It’s situational, as in I respond to what’s happening or what people around me are saying. As far back as I remember I have always used sarcasm, deadpan delivery and self-deprecating humor.
I did start to use self-deprecating humor more as an adult, it’s a nice shield for me. I can joke about how dysfunctional I am, and with that I take power away from people that would want to mock me. It’s no fun to mock a person mocking themselves, after all.
 
It's a natural thing for me. I can enjoy humor and be funny myself at times, but there's also this:
I find banter really hard [...] People think that I'm too serious
I'm not a fan of malicious humor or that kind of banter. If people are having fun at someone else's expense, I don't crack a smile. "You must be fun at parties," I've been told (that's sarcasm, by the way). Well, buddy, I actually happen to really dislike parties so that works out just fine, doesn't it?
 
My brain is configured in such a way as I can only remember one or two jokes at a given time. Nowadays it is usually something funny off the internet.

I came to the conclusion I must be missing my Funny Bone. I've thought about visiting the Wizard of Humor a few times... but heard he doesn't actually give you a Funny Bone. Instead you have to buy a whole series of humor training packets, and they are pricey.
 
I'm not a fan of malicious humor or that kind of banter. If people are having fun at someone else's expense, I don't crack a smile.
While I am like Bolletje in that my humour is 'conceived on the spot', there's always the side of humour that I hate - which is when it's malicious as you said. When I worked in retail, people, especially the girls would gossip and trash talk others and I just didn't get it. Why be mean and horrible? What is the purpose? I usually call them out and then they just give me a deadpan stare and make me feel like I did something wrong. Or I get labelled as "too nice". Can't do anything right!
 
I think I am very funny. I often laugh at my own jokes. :D

When other find me funny it is when I manage to point out the absurdity of a situation (when I am not forgetting to include the bridge, and as long as I keep it short). So I often just laugh at my own jokes.
 
I have a sense of humor but I don't know where I got it from because neither my mother nor father are particularly funny. And I have two styles: lighthearted and sarcastic. The sarcastic side of me comes out when I am agitated or I have to suffer from foolishness or idiocy. It also helps that I've done some acting in college so I can do different voices and have people really laughing at them. I also have a self-deprecating sense of humor which I use disarmingly, if someone is uncomfortable. Once a long time ago, I tried out Radiologic Technology as a career and it was always sad to see sick children so I would rub hand sanitizer on my bald head to they would get a laugh or a smile.
 
I think I am very funny. I often laugh at my own jokes. :D

When other find me funny it is when I manage to point out the absurdity of a situation (when I am not forgetting to include the bridge, and as long as I keep it short). So I often just laugh at my own jokes.
It's really easy to like people that laugh at their own jokes. I am known to do that as well!
 
A sense of humor is something I sorta just have.
Though, curiously, as my issues with autism (specifically the disappearing of my sympathy and empathy, and my brain totally being taken over by logic) increased, my humor grew more and more cynical.
I have a strong case of black humor these days.


Greets,
AG
 
I've always had a sense of humor and hate the stereotype that we don't. I just seem to have been born with it. I can go from lighthearted humor to dark or sarcastic humor pretty quickly. Too bad a lot humor is based off of political incorrectness, which no one is allowed to have anymore. I can understand the frustration many people have over this, because most humans are naturally intolerant and enjoy being rude, selfish, bigoted jerks. There, you see?:p
 
Too bad a lot humor is based off of political incorrectness, which no one is allowed to have anymore.
Pff. Watch me care.
As long as the joke is good and makes people laugh, the joke is fair game.
... not to mention exaggerated political correctness is quite the cancer on society. Everyone's being so touchy and easily offended these days...


Greets,
AG
 
I think I’m funny but often it’s because I’ve misunderstood something and people are laughing at me not with me.
But I don’t care too much, as long as people are laughing I feel like I’m in a group of friends. Kind of, not really.
I think each of us is born with a sense of what is funny.
 
I survive on laughter and have always told people if I ever get to the point that I can't laugh, then just shoot me. As far as surviving on laughter - I think I mean that literally and figuratively. I love those times you and someone are laughing so hard your stomach hurts and you're having to wipe wet drops out of your eyes. I get through a crisis with laughter, why not? And in a group if they don't have a sense of humor and I cant be funny and make people laugh then I don't know how to be. I sat through a friend's heart surgery with her family that I only knew some, but the entire family was asking me questions and laughing at my responses (my intent) and I only had to excuse myself a couple times to get away. Whereas I have a couple aunts that when I say something that should be funny just look at me with a puzzled look and I go into my freeze mode and want to hide. I've found myself making sure I have enough funny stories (about myself usually) to tell when I'm going to be around people. Anything other than laughter feels threatening.
My daughter knows this is one of my favorite stories - when she and her (now husband) were young, he had taken her job hunting and I met them for lunch. My daughter said she didn't think she'd get this job because she thinks she misspelled tomorrow - tomarrow then her (then) boyfriend said, "Yes, I tried to tell her there was two m's" (I really should stop telling that one, they are both much smarter now. lol)
 
For me, it's more a thing I learnt. As a child, I laughed very rarely, almost never, though I also didn't really have many thing to laugh about. I didn't understand jokes and they weren't funny to me. I laugh much more nowadays, almost every day and it's so much easier. Somewhere in the process joking around just 'clicked' with me and I started smiling and then laughing like many other people.

Naturally, if I used any humour as a kid, it was very dry or very sarcastic. Sometimes people laughed while I just said what I thought. It still sometimes happens.

Though, I have the most problems with straight faced jokes. Are they even jokes or not and how to recognise them? :confused: At times, people need to tell me that they're joking and only then I can start learning their specific sense of humour and start finding it humorous. In a way..?
 
For me, it's more a thing I learnt. As a child, I laughed very rarely, almost never, though I also didn't really have many thing to laugh about. I didn't understand jokes and they weren't funny to me. I laugh much more nowadays, almost every day and it's so much easier. Somewhere in the process joking around just 'clicked' with me and I started smiling and then laughing like many other people.

Naturally, if I used any humour as a kid, it was very dry or very sarcastic. Sometimes people laughed while I just said what I thought. It still sometimes happens.

Though, I have the most problems with straight faced jokes. Are they even jokes or not and how to recognise them? :confused: At times, people need to tell me that they're joking and only then I can start learning their specific sense of humour and start finding it humorous. In a way..?
For me, it's more a thing I learnt. As a child, I laughed very rarely, almost never, though I also didn't really have many thing to laugh about. I didn't understand jokes and they weren't funny to me. I laugh much more nowadays, almost every day and it's so much easier. Somewhere in the process joking around just 'clicked' with me and I started smiling and then laughing like many other people.

Naturally, if I used any humour as a kid, it was very dry or very sarcastic. Sometimes people laughed while I just said what I thought. It still sometimes happens.

Though, I have the most problems with straight faced jokes. Are they even jokes or not and how to recognise them? :confused: At times, people need to tell me that they're joking and only then I can start learning their specific sense of humour and start finding it humorous. In a way..?

You know, I will have to admit something here that I've never told anyone. I know where my sense of humor came from and how I picked it up when I was young. My brother (who I no longer have a relationship with, was 2 years older than I was. He was always being funny and everyone liked him. Everyone in the family liked him, all the kids in school liked him, even all the parents and teachers liked him. I tried to mimic him, and maybe it's a combination of not feeling threatened if people are laughing but also feeling liked. It's the only time I feel liked - if I can make someone laugh. Then as I became an adult I seemed to mimic other people who were funny and eventually that became the only way I know how to be around people.
 
You know, I will have to admit something here that I've never told anyone. I know where my sense of humor came from and how I picked it up when I was young. My brother (who I no longer have a relationship with, was 2 years older than I was. He was always being funny and everyone liked him. Everyone in the family liked him, all the kids in school liked him, even all the parents and teachers liked him. I tried to mimic him, and maybe it's a combination of not feeling threatened if people are laughing but also feeling liked. It's the only time I feel liked - if I can make someone laugh. Then as I became an adult I seemed to mimic other people who were funny and eventually that became the only way I know how to be around people.

And not only you. It's not only easier, it doesn't only make you more likeable - it makes it safer as well. People appreciate those that are positive, funny, those who smile and laugh a lot - if you are like that, you're not a threat and you don't remind them of anything negative. People don't like negative.

The danger in being a mimic is loosing yourself. If you loose a balance while trying to mimic someone, you may lie to yourself or forget what you like, not what they like; what you are like, not what you should be like etc. In the long run, it will make you miserable.

I started to mimic in high school after I changed schools and the first change it brought was lack of bullying. Since then, I do it constantly. Sometimes I even like it - making other people laugh, that is. Also, when you try to understand how your 'mimic base' really works, you can learn a lot about people themselves.
 
I'd like to think I'm funny because I can make anyone laugh especially women these days. I'm 19 and high functioning guy, interacting with people has helped me understand when people are upset and empathize with people. For example, I can just say something that I didn't know was funny and people laugh. I love roasting people when they piss me off to teach them some respect.
 
Appreciation of humor and the ability to laugh probably isn't directly related to Autism. Even by the responses here on the forum, you get a variety of perspectives on humor and joke-telling. I think humor is a part of one's personality traits. I enjoy being with people who like to laugh and manage a quick wit in an entertaining way.
 

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