It's long setup, I'm sorry. I am not on the autism spectrum (I don't believe) but I do have moderate-severe ADHD so there is some overlap in symptoms. Having a ND brain, I found a lot of similarities in the way my brain worked compared with my former romantic interest. However, I am having trouble uncovering what it is like to experience a difference in empathy or I suppose a difference in interpreting other people's thoughts/intentions. I was recently seeing a person who is on the spectrum. He is a brilliant, lovely person who received his diagnosis earlier this year. During our first conversation, he expressed his diagnosis and informed me he was still learning about it. We had many long positive conversations, and I felt we truly connected. Overtime, he shared alot of intimate details about his life with me. He is going through several challenges presently, especially while in the process of a divorce and ongoing custody battle. He told me he was not ready to be in a relationship and was not sure if he would ever be. I respected this and informed him that I was happy to still support him however he needed. Let me back up a little-- after our first date, we had a discussion about STDs. I told him I have none but do get cold sores, as in HSV 1, on my lips which I've had since 4 years old. Fast forward to 2 and a half months later. Even after we chose to be friends, we were still somewhat physical with each other and had kissed while hanging out one day. A day later, he texted me and noted I had a sore on my mouth, and now he had one. I did not have an active cold sore at the time but I have a skin picking disorder and understood he was talking about one of my scabs. I explained this to him and he seemed satisfied with that answer and didn't bring it up again. A week later, I went to his house to comfort him after he received some bad news from his divorce attorney. We did kiss again that night and we had a really sweet good time together, inspite of his circumstances. About every other day after that final time we hung out, we would talk on the phone for several hours. One night, he called me and was the happiest he had sounded since I've known him. We had a delightful conversation for 4 hours on the phone. Toward the end of our phone call, he said he needed to talk to me. He then very calmly reiterated that he saw a sore on my face and now he believed he was developing cold sores. He asked me what I thought he should do. I responded, saying "that is really weird, I didn't have a cold sore. You've never gotten them before?" That is when a switch flipped and he was like a different person. He cursed me out, hung up on me and told me he was blocking me from his life. He then blocked me on his phone. I couldn't get a word in to even ask a question, let alone defend myself. I made a mistake and went to his house to try and talk to him. He refused and it ended poorly. Over the course of the next week, there was a lot of nasty texting on both ends. He vehemently held to his determination that I knowingly and intentionally passed herpes to him. He called me horrible names and laughed at me when i cried. I was dumb founded, so confused, and of course very hurt. I want to be angry; I've never been treated so poorly, but i also cant make sense of the situation. Did he invent this to push me away because he felt he overshared or how could he have arrived at this conclusion? (He called me a demon and a liar several times. I couldn't believe it). I'm not sure if the other stressors played a role or if I didnt communicate effectively. I am confident that he believes his perception of the events is accurate. I just don't understand why. I am in a tailspin with the events which were so abrupt and I know he will not be giving me any answers. Is there anyone that can help enlighten me? I just want to understand. Is this an issue of empathy and autism, did I communicate poorly? Or do we think this is just a personal issue for him that he needs to work through. (Also, I do know you can pass HSV1 without an outbreak, I just thought it was much less common than it is and I was open about that from the beginning which is why this has all felt very confusing.) As an ADHDer I have a tendency to ruminate. I'm just hoping to gain some perspective that will help me learn and put this behind me. That was a lot, I hope it makes sense and thank you if you made it to the bottom of this post!