Scared of leaving Christianity

[SunnyDay16]

I was born and raised as a Christian. The one main rule I was taught as a child was that if you don't accept Jesus into your heart, you will go to Hell. I wanted to believe I "accepted" him as savior, but I don't feel my heart was ever truly into it. The older I got, the more frustrated and confused I became about it.

I was told many times that God is loving, but I can't understand how any loving god could subject his creations to eteneral torment because they chose not to believe. Humans are humans after all, right? They're going to make mistakes of judgement. I'm told that "God's ways are not our ways" and that I just need to have faith, but how can I have faith if I don't know what to have faith in?

The Bible is full of rules and contradictions that I either don't get or there's so many interpretations for. Trying to look into this further has given me nothing but frustration and irritation. The mixed interpretations about homosexuality are especially vexing because on one hand you have verses flat out telling you homosexuals are going to Hell and should be put to death, then you have people telling you God loves you no matter what yet he wants you to be miserable in heterosexual relationships.

I think leaving Christianity as a whole would keep me from frustrating myself further and just forgetting about the entire faith. I believe nobody should be put down for believing in whatever religion they want and if someone is empowered by Christianity then good for them, but I just can't wrap my head around it all no matter what.

Can anyone really relate to me at all? Or am I just nuts (I don't think I am).

 

[xDominiel]

You're on the right path.
Religion will always be filled with blatant contradictions. Some choose to try and explain them away as symbolism, others just haven't actually looked into their own faith and so they don't know.
If you can't look past them, then "leaving" the faith would probably be the best option.

The way I see it, if there is a good God out there, then I'm sure just being a good person would be more important than having faith in ancient tales and arbitrary rules. And there would hopefully be a very good explanation waiting after all the suffering, one that isn't just "mysterious ways".

 

[wight]

You need not be part of a religion to have belief or faith; perhaps you need to leave the "organization" of Christianity and find your own understanding with God.

Just so you know, you are not even remotely alone in your situation. Many people at your age, or younger, begin to ask complex questions about the religion they were raised in that don't have ready answers. I had to go outside the Catholic faith to research and resolve my concerns, primarily because no one in the church was able or willing to answer my questions.

Yeah, it is scary to break from a tradition in which you've been raised. I think, that the journey to greater understanding is worth it.

 

[Judge]

I think leaving Christianity as a whole would keep me from frustrating myself further and just forgetting about the entire faith. I believe nobody should be put down for believing in whatever religion they want and if someone is empowered by Christianity then good for them, but I just can't wrap my head around it all no matter what.

Can anyone really relate to me at all? Or am I just nuts (I don't think I am).

I did. But leaving a religion doesn't have to mean leaving God- or Christ.

After all, the sanctity of your eternal soul is between you and God. Not you and other mortals.

Besides, what if you eventually come to a conclusion that in a cosmic sense religion(s) may have a great many things just plain wrong?

 

[Pats]

It's faith. It's not a feeling. I read my Bible over and over for myself because people translate their own meanings into everything and I just read it for what it says and don't add to it, and I get so irritated when people do add different meanings to it. Or when they pick and choose what to focus on and what to leave out. I think it also helps to remind myself who the letters are written to, who is being spoken to and what's going on. I disagree with things our preacher says all the time but there's no place or no one I'm going to agree 100% with, so it's not really a big deal that I don't always agree.
I still go to the church I grew up in - well, in a different state and all - but it's not because I feel others are wrong, but just because it's what I'm most comfortable with. I don't think it's as hard to be a Christian as some people make it out to be.

 

[Theta.G]

The big problem with religion is how deeply engrained it gets... programmed into your mind at a young age. Before you even have a chance to think for yourself. Powerful rituals are performed. Baptism... confirmation...euchrist... nightly prayer. Very powerful rituals for programming the mind.

When you grow up you find out santa isn't real, the easter bunny. However, when it comes to religion... since they use the great unknown, the afterlife which cannot be verified by anyone there is no proof that it isn't real. So not only it is harder to disconnect or rationally dismiss it but even if you manage to tell yourself you don't believe it because of the subconscious programming your own mind and body will work against you if you go against god. Because of the programming.

For example... Lets say you raised your son away from society and got him to believe that if he dosn't offer food monthly the statue in your backyard calamity will befall him and he will go to hell to be tortured forever. [insert graphic descriptions] . Using similar rituals to christianity. Pray to the statue. and so on. He grows up and eventually stops giving food to the statue. Stops praying. His life turns to garbage. It's not because the statue has mystical powers but because of his minds programming.

He would have to move to the city and do some intense study and research then struggle with world shattering information that is drastically different from how he or she knows the world to be.

It's not an easy thing to undo... Hell and heaven, demons and angels other dogma are reinforced regularly through television shows. Quitting drinking or drugs would be easier. Since religion instills a worldview into you it becomes how you make sense of the world. In Christianity particularly they use their own version of natural laws of the universe.

God puts adam and eve in the garden of eden. And tells them not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Yet leaves it out in the open. They do eat and cover their nude bodies and he condemns them... kicks them out the garden.
If the creator is all knowing, then he knew the effects of reverse psychology. If that's not enough and he was all powerful and controlling what was the serpent doing in the garden of eden? It didn't just sneak in.

When it comes to the bible the original version has been distorted beyond any recognition of truth. There are still some very useful things in there... but many others have been removed or changed.

You remember the telephone game? you whisper a phrase into one persons ear, then they whisper it into another until several people later you get a different sentence from when you started.... now space that out over 2000 years... Add in players that were in the highest positions of power and had motive to alter said documents for their benefit...

 

[SunnyDay16]

Are you wanting to leave Christianity or the particular denomination that you're involved in? I ask, because I was caught up in a denomination that was much like you described. Too often individuals confuse their faith in Christ with their loyalty to a particular denomination.

I'm not really sure tbh. Christianity is supposed to be based on the teachings of the Bible and I know there are less literal denominations, but I guess the whole thing in general I have a hard time wrapping my head around with all the different sects and interpreations along with people telling you their sect is the only "right" one.

 

[Pats]

@SunnyDay16 , I totally agree with @Sportster about too many different sects adding to what the Bible says. That's kind of what I meant when I said there are too many people adding their own meanings to it. If you 'believed' you accepted Christ, you did. But the Bible gives us instruction on how we are to live and there are some very specific things that we are commanded to do. But a lot of things end up being what someone says the Bible says, so you have to read it for yourself to know if it's what the Bible actually says.

I grew up believing some kind of crazy things that my dad or relatives believed the Bible said and later on learned that that's not what the Bible says at all. I admire these people because they lived what they truly believed, but can see where when they were told something over and over, eventually you see it no other way until someone points it out to you.

 

[SunnyDay16]

Christianity is based on faith in Jesus. The Bible is God's word to us; a handbook, if you will. The problem is there are too many sects adding to what the Bible says (and even taking away) and before you know it you have confusion.

The key is to establish your relationship with God through Jesus. After that find a group of like-minded believers. If they're not following what the Bible says, then keep looking.

Well I'm hesitant about that because the Bible is blatantly against gay people and I'm gay myself so I have a sour taste about the Bible. I believe the Bible has been modified by men and written by men, so it's not infallible. As far as God and Jesus, I believe both exist but I'm not sure if they're exactly if they are as I was told they are as a kid. Everyone has so many different ideas and interpreations about them.

 

[Pats]

Yes, you're right, it is and I understand the sour taste. That's why so many refuse to believe the Bible applies to today or anything about it. God did give us free will - from day one and the choice is absolutely our own personal choice. I remember my dad saying once that being miserable and in the church is what it's all about, but I don't believe that. Yes, we all have things we have to deal with, struggles, decisions, etc. But it's not just homosexuality, it's any illicit sex (which I am also guilty of in my past) so I certainly can't judge anyone on their decisions.
@SunnyDay16 , I don't know you and would never try to persuade you of anything that is your own choice. After 5 years I learned that my husband was gay. I was hurt and I could not compete with that or risk my own or children's health over his lifestyle, but he was and always will be the love of my life and he knows it.
So no judgement from me. I imagine it's really difficult, as difficult as it would have been for me to avoid my past.

 

[Bronzelincolns]

well, such a thing is, in fact, condemned in Scripture. how you're going to deal with that is on you.

do you repent of that sin and ask the LORD for strength to overcome, or do you embrace that sin and leave the LORD and the Scriptures behind?

 

[SunnyDay16]

People are giving me advice here when I didn't really ask for it. I wanted to know if anyone related to how I feel, not be given advice about it. I appreciate the advice given to me, I really do, but it's not really what I was seeking here.

 

[SunnyDay16]

well, such a thing is, in fact, condemned in Scripture. how you're going to deal with that is on you.

do you repent of that sin and ask the LORD for strength to overcome, or you embrace that sin and leave the LORD and the Scriptures behind?

I believe it's how I was born and my brain is just wired that way, but you're free to believe that.

 

[Pats]

Ok. Not sure exactly what you are looking for, but maybe this will help.
I was a young adult, maybe 20 or 21. My husband did nothing but run around from day one and drank until he passed out and my life was miserable and I would pray that he would die because my parents said you can't divorce for any reason. According to them I could have killed him and been forgiven, but could not divorce him and it never made sense. Eventually when I got to the point that I couldn't look at him without my stomach just churning in ache I left him. For years I was told by my parents that I was going to hell. Didn't like the thought so I avoided church and any religion at all.
I won't get into what brought me back, but just that I have maybe been where you are, including confusion and what did I truly believe.

 

[SunnyDay16]

Yes, you're right, it is and I understand the sour taste. That's why so many refuse to believe the Bible applies to today or anything about it. God did give us free will - from day one and the choice is absolutely our own personal choice. I remember my dad saying once that being miserable and in the church is what it's all about, but I don't believe that. Yes, we all have things we have to deal with, struggles, decisions, etc. But it's not just homosexuality, it's any illicit sex (which I am also guilty of in my past) so I certainly can't judge anyone on their decisions.
@SunnyDay16 , I don't know you and would never try to persuade you of anything that is your own choice. After 5 years I learned that my husband was gay. I was hurt and I could not compete with that or risk my own or children's health over his lifestyle, but he was and always will be the love of my life and he knows it.
So no judgement from me. I imagine it's really difficult, as difficult as it would have been for me to avoid my past.

If your husband is married to you, he sounds more bisexual to me than gay. Of course I could be wrong but.

 

[SunnyDay16]

Ok. Not sure exactly what you are looking for, but maybe this will help.
I was a young adult, maybe 20 or 21. My husband did nothing but run around from day one and drank until he passed out and my life was miserable and I would pray that he would die because my parents said you can't divorce for any reason. According to them I could have killed him and been forgiven, but could not divorce him and it never made sense. Eventually when I got to the point that I couldn't look at him without my stomach just churning in ache I left him. For years I was told by my parents that I was going to hell. Didn't like the thought so I avoided church and any religion at all.
I won't get into what brought me back, but just that I have maybe been where you are, including confusion and what did I truly believe.

I understand and thanks for sharing your story. I do find it resonates with me in a few ways.

 

[Pats]

If your husband is married to you, he sounds more bisexual to me than gay. Of course I could be wrong but.

Yea, and 2 kids, too, but I think he was just humoring me. Funny thing - I once heard him tell a friend that he's not interested in any other woman and it made me feel so lucky. Of, course I never considered men. LOL

 

[Pats]

Was raised in an orthodox sect of the roman catholic church. I was baptized, confirmed and raised in that environment. Attended two catholic convents.

Experienced and heard and saw so many things that I didn't think as a child were exactly ethical or moral. The way the priests treated the nuns like servants. The way the church would pass around the collection baskets at funerals and baptisms and weddings, even though they had been paid for their services. The manner in which they encouraged even cajoled church members to fund raise for them, through dinners and sales and free charity work and donations.

All this happened and it caused me consider over time, whether what they truly represented was slowly being eradicated. I don't dislike the church, as I learned real ethics and morals both inside and outside the catholic church. It helped me to become the person I am.

Yet, I never truly believed what they espoused. There was credible doubt from the very beginning. I question and will continue to do so. It's a lifelong quest to find truth.

I agree with all that. Also those evangelists that take money from poor widows while they're flying around the world in a million dollar jet.

 

[Sid Delicious]

I tend to avoid most discussions on religion, but I would say that I learned to appreciate the Bible and other religious texts after I left the church (I was raised as a judeo-christian mash up) and spent a while reading through all the ancient literature I could find to compare and contrast from an objective point of view. I now view the Bible more like the I Ching these days. It's a library of writings from a specific group of people that came out of the Mesopotamia area after the last ice age, who developed agriculture, writing, legal systems, etc and then migrated and spread out to other areas of the world. I don't need to agree with all the spiritual stuff to appreciate the historical value, philosophy, poetry or the advice given in books like Proverbs about investing and business (which I use every day). Once you get away from all the modern human perspectives and just read it 'as is', it makes far more sense. There is so much misinformation taught within structured religions (not just christianity) and it's usually offered as a black and white '100% or nothing' deal. Whereas books like the Bible are full of questions, debates and guidance to use rational thought rather than blindly agreeing with everything you hear. The conversations between God/YWH/whatever term you prefer and different prophets are much like the debates of Socrates and Plato held in ancient Greece. They argue and question things from very early on, so I find it strange when churches encourage acceptance and blind faith over rational understanding from people today. I can't remember exact quotes, but 'test everything and hang on to the good bits' is one line that I recall.

Questioning and critique isn't something that's tolerated by a lot of 'hardcore' christians unfortunately. Churches tend to give lecture style services with little to no interaction. But I'm assuming most of these people hadn't actually read their own texts, as that isn't what is taught and wasn't the teaching method used. I have seperate issues with judaism, but one thing they do get right is encouraging debate and logical argument. You can't fully believe in anything that you have no understanding of. That's just wishful thinking at best and pure insanity at worst. And if you understand and logically agree with something, then you'll automatically believe in it. Churches get a lot of things ass-backwards in my opinion. So yes, leave 'christianity' the religion, stop going to church, read other philosophical, historical and religious literature and then go back and examine it by yourself in your own time from a more objective stance. If there are good bits that you find useful and agree with, then hang on to those. At worst, you will have a more secure understanding of what it actually says and what you do/don't agree with and why.

One other thing that I would add is to bear in mind the Bible has two sections and the latter has a very different tone as the environment was a very different one. The old testament was written when humans were first developing the idea of structured law and order, moral good/bad, the concept of logical thought wasn't a thing and farming was a new invention. Most humans on the planet were still in hunter gatherer mode and fighting for survival after an ice age ended and the climate dramatically changed. So the early laws are far more rigid and brutal. Consider how different modern society is compared to even 300 years ago when slavery, women as property and illiteracy were the norm. Society's legal/moral codes in 1700 were designed to get the best results given the environment. In 2018 society has changed dramatically. There are thousands of years between the Old and New Testament.

 

[Theta.G]

People are giving me advice here when I didn't really ask for it. I wanted to know if anyone related to how I feel, not be given advice about it. I appreciate the advice given to me, I really do, but it's not really what I was seeking here.

I can relate to how you feel.
ok bye