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respect for those who take on a responsibility

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Pats, Jun 22, 2019.

  1. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Whether it's a child, a pet, a mate, a sick parent of family member, I have utmost respect for those who accept the responsibility. Yes, there are times and circumstances it's best and I respect the ability to say no, I can't do it. It's not an easy task.

    I greatly admire those of you who are married and continue to put in effort to keep your marriage working. I've tried, but should have just said no. :) It's not easy to accept someone totally, flaws and all. Reason I have such respect for married couples. It wasn't that I wasn't willing to accept the flaws and keep making the efforts, it was always that the other was not committed - first ran around the entire 5 years we were married. second - I later learned was gay, which naturally means he also was unfaithful. twenty years on my own and raising my kids then trying again but I needed to count a little and didn't. So I know what it's like being with someone who is not committed and not willing to take on their part of the responsibility of making it work. So to those of you who do, you have my admiration.

    I took on the responsibility of my mom when she was sick. But being a nurse did not help in that decision or in her care because I already knew that my nurse mind turns off when it comes to family. Removing staples and stitches being nothing to me until I removed them from my daughter and had to lay down to finish or I was going to pass out. lol And when my mom did pass away I knew I was not finding a pulse but could not comprehend it or accept it.
    But one of the things I faced was 'what if I made a mistake?' I took her to the er one night for chest pains and the nitro they gave her almost killed her and they had to act fast. I just kept thinking, "My gosh, I've killed her by bringing her to the er." I'm just glad I didn't give her the nitro at home. But my aunt told me something after that and it stayed with me and meant a lot to me. She told me that whatever decision I made now and in the future WAS the right decision regardless of the outcome because it was made out of love with the right intentions.

    If it's with the right intentions and out of love, (whether it's yes or no) it's the right decision .
     
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  2. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

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    I am of the opinion that saying "no" holds a great deal of personal responsibility in itself, both when said for the right reasons and when said selfishly. A selfish "no" could make one responsible for another's misery or destruction,a selfless "no" - their salvation.
     
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  3. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    True. Risk management of any kind isn't meant for just anyone and everyone.

    When one takes such responsibilities involving the care, custody and control of another and their property, in effect they own them. Where mishandling them may well have consequences.
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2019
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  4. John M

    John M Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for articulating this Pats. I can't even have a plant in my house. I accept responsibility for its wellbeing and if something goes awry and it's damaged I have a meltdown. My last attempt was an aloe plant about 6-7 years ago. I had to move it across the room and it ended up on the floor with lots of its fronds broken. I got rid of it after that experience, just couldn't handle it. I've never had plants again, let alone pets. If you're a nurse then you're better at handling these kinds of things than I am and you have my utmost respect. Don't be so hard on yourself. I think you're a lot stronger and more insightful than you may know.
     
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  5. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It's been one year now of being the treasurer of our camera club, I think the biggest responsibility I've ever taken on... I feel like I could have done far better, the club president waxes eloquent about me... It was a tough transition because of some circumstances... Enough said :rolleyes:
     
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  6. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    I get that. I'm not a nurse but the same thought crosses my mind, as I'm slowly becoming a carer.


    I can't control the outcome, even if I do make mistakes, I know death is inevitable.

    The 'when' isn't.

    I just have to be there and do my best.
     
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  7. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It's all you can do.
    :)
     
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  8. Xerces Blue

    Xerces Blue Evil Overload

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    Pats I think I understand - It's almost impossible to remain objective when the subject is so close to you.
    It's why Doctors aren't supposed to work on family.
    It's why military couples aren't supposed to be in the same chain of command.
     
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  9. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I knew someone might benefit from my aunt's statement. She's right, so trust your decisions. And I communicated with my mom often - as her condition changed I'd ask her what she wanted. I'm here and been there if you ever feel you need support.
     
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  10. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    Wait. Is this just s ruse to get a fridgemagnet from thirsk?

    (Joke only works if you remember)

    Thanks for the offer. It may happen as you are a nurse.
    I have loads of help. Its early days yet.
     
  11. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    LOL I do remember. Maybe. lol
     
  12. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    How true. It's how I discovered as her carer that my mother had dementia. In real-time on a continual basis I just assumed to she became eccentric in her old age. But those who knew her well outside the family had a very different uptake. When Mom died, they eventually told me. It was quite a shock at first.
     
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  13. Running Girl

    Running Girl Member

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    I am caregiver to my super-senior cat, Moonpie.
    She takes 4 meds a day which she often spits out and it takes multiple attempts. Plus she misses the litter box (her body goes in but her pee goes out, onto the wee wee pads i have triple-thick in front of it.) If only she took 1 more step inside that box..
    Plus she plays with her water and destroys it and spills it. The kitty xanax helps. Some. Not all. Not a day I dont think, "this is too much work for me", but she tries, she doesnt deserve death! Its a conflict though. The marriage has its responsibilities and its perks. Conflicted there too.
     
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  14. tlc

    tlc The Mackinac Bridge and U.P. is my happy place.

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    So you got the job. Great to hear. :) I remember your thread about questioning it.