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Remembering names.

Tony Ramirez

Single forever. Friends?
V.I.P Member
Now that I am socializing much more going out and meeting people at the Church meetings I attending I am having an terrible time at remembering there names. Thing is they all know my name but I only remember about 3 people's names.

So is this another Aspie trait?
 
Goldfish memory here (incl TERRIBLE att remembering names ,Birthdays, even loose Ord common words in a communication etc.....)
 
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I don't think this is an Aspie trait, most people have this issue! NTs suffer just the same - especially when there are a lot of names to remember all at once, or even just one! When I started my last job, there were so many new names that I made a point to write them down, maybe accompanied with an identifying feature. That helped me a lot. :)
Funnily enough I'm better at remembering them than my partner and he's an NT :D he's always asking me what the name of so-and-so is. I'm also pretty good at remembering birthdays, weirdly they semi-stick in my brain.

Also in your situation, they all know each other so remembering one new name is easy. For you to remember many - that's more of a challenge. It's not a bad thing to ask politely for them to repeat it under the nuance of "I'd like to make sure I got it right" or "How do you spell it?" sort of thing.
 
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i don't find it hard to remember names, but do find it hard to remember faces (prosopagnosia).
I am the opposite I can remember faces good. I guess since I stick out they can remember my name. Matter of fact through school except College where I was invisible they all can remember my name with ease.
 
I have always had a hard time remembering names and some trouble with faces. Once I saw a lady from my work out shopping and I didn’t recognize her with out the safety glasses or lab coat on.
 
I'm bad at remembering names and I know that people only tell you their names the first time you meet, maybe the second to remind you, then you never hear it again. So when I first started attending church where I go now I wrote down a few of the names immediately along with a description and kept it in my Bible and each Sunday would review my notes before going in. So I learned a handful of names and after about 3 or more years, that's still all I know.
And I don't remember anything with numbers. Birthdays and anniversaries - forget it. Even while married I could not even tell you what month or year I was married in. I had a way of remembering my 4 kid's birthdays and would have to go through it to remember if asked. Grandkids - nope, don't remember - I can't even keep track of their ages and middle names. Except one that I always used part of his middle name when I'd call his name - Kobe Cam(eron). Sitting here now, I was able to come up with 3 out of 10 of the middle names.
 
Now that im older people dont expect me to remember names. I just call them a name i think is right and they laugh and correct me.
i called Wanda, Wendy, Cal was Carl and Bill i called Paul. I dont think anyone minds, they are just glad you remembered them, if not their name.
People get my name and my dogs name reversed and i dont mind, i dont even correct them half the time.
 
I keep hearing about this face blindness thing we're supposed to have, but I'm pretty good at remembering faces. It's the names the faces belong to that I have trouble remembering.

When I was a kid I'd sometimes meet relatives I hardly ever saw otherwise during holidays and stuff, and I wouldn't know or remember anyone's names and I'd be too uncomfortable and embarrassed to say anything. But it's a lot worse when you're an adult. Everyone seems to remember and recognize me, even if they haven't seen me in a couple of decades.
 
Once I saw a lady from my work out shopping and I didn’t recognize her with out the safety glasses or lab coat on.
Just don't make the common Aspie faux pas, "Oh, I didn't recognize you with YOUR clothes on...!"
full


(I hear that happens to nurses a lot.)
 
Now that I am socializing much more going out and meeting people at the Church meetings I attending I am having an terrible time at remembering there names. Thing is they all know my name but I only remember about 3 people's names.

So is this another Aspie trait?

I’m not sure about remembering or easily forgetting names being an aspie trait but I keep a small pocket notebook with me to record names when appropriate. I can’t remember names.

I record the name, the context of the meet, and something unique to the person. It’s the only way I can possible remember.

My ex-wife has no problem at all. She can remember the name of the store worker that helped her two years ago for ten minutes.

She has an amazing ability.
 
My ex-wife has no problem at all. She can remember the name of the store worker that helped her two years ago for ten minutes.
My Dad is the same. He only meet the Friday night prayer group for a few minutes when my mother picked me up and he already knew two of there names just by them saying there name once. I was with them for hours and I was only able to remember two of them.
 
Matter of fact through school except College where I was invisible they all can remember my name with ease.
Quoting myself no I remember a couple of girls even knowing my name in College. At my only job they knew my name too. Matter of fact if I was either called "Hugo" which is my real name I hate or "Tony" my middle nickname I prefer they all remembered no problems. I must look like an Tony.
 
I don't remember even a single name unless I've used it later at some point and had to find it myself. And I'm horrible with faces, I couldn't positively identify someone even if I spent an afternoon with them, let alone a short glimpse.

I remember people better by how they sound, how they walk, their hair or clothes. More of a fuzzy overall picture. Once I was with someone whose daughter was playing soccer and she didn't think her daughter was on the field. I saw her because of the way she was pacing around at the far end covered up in goalie gear.

I think this is how children recognize people.

For example many years ago, my 2 year old stepson was afraid of his dad for whatever reason. One day my dad came to the door, got down to say hi and the boy ran away screaming. His mom didn't get it but I saw it immediately. My dad had the same glasses, face shape, hair, skin tone, even dressed similarly as the boy's dad.

When I was a kid, I couldn't see the difference between Jon Lovitz and Kevin Nealon. Mel Gibson and Ted Danson. And plenty of others. I also didn't see people's skin color. I didn't see the people on the Cosby show as any different than anyone else. Or a Jamacian girl I liked in school. I once said that my aunt looked like Nell Carter because of the body type and face shape. That didn't go over very well with my dad's bigoted family.
 
I'm pretty bad with names and faces, in a group introduction I can do 1-2 max. I also get thrown off pretty hard if I'm used to seeing someone dressed a certain way or with a certain haircut and they change it--I once completely failed to recognize someone I'd worked with for a year when I saw her out of uniform and with her hair down, even with distinctive voice and social context to help. At work I sometimes use general description in my head to keep customers straight (green shirt, red hair, black guy, etc) but this is just short term memory. I rarely permanently remember anyone unless I have some compelling reason to do so, and honestly part of it is that I just don't care anymore. Not worth the effort or the brain space.
 
Most people, including NTs, have confessed to me that they are bad at remembering names. However, it's possible we're even worse at it than NTs. I know I got heavily criticized during student teaching years ago for being completely unable to identify most of my students' names, even after several weeks of teaching. I'd point at students and say things like, "Hey you in the blue shirt, what do you think about..." LOL.
 
My Bible study which was postponed yesterday I though one of the leaders name was Arial "it's the name of one of the students" but I was wrong her name is Christina. That would have been embarrassing but they don't judge me anyway.
 

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